Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny were caroling during the Christmas holidays. Much to their dismay, Rufus Scrimgeour slammed the door in their faces at the sight of their H.M.H.T.I.L.V. badges for the organization more commonly known as "Help Me Heal from the Terrors Inflicted by Lord Voldemort" as they struck up the popular tune "We Wish You A Merry Christmas."

Overcome with anger, Harry began to shake with fury. He pounded on the door.

"Harry, calm down!" pleaded Hermione. "Maybe he doesn't want to hear us sing and then donate to the H.M.H.T.I.L.V."

"Maybe he just doesn't like our singing," said Ron with a grin.

"Please, Harry, just walk away, don't start a scene," begged Ginny.

"No," said Harry. At that moment Scrimgeour opened the door.

"Now see here," he began furiously.

"No, now you've got to hear my side of the story!" said Harry, and he began to sing, ignoring the groans of his three friends:

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On the first day of Christmas, Lord Voldy gave to me....
A lighting bolt scar (This thing is ugly!)

On the second day of Christmas, Lord Voldy gave to me....
Two dead parents (Orphan :-( Jeez!)
And a lighting bolt scar (This thing is ugly!)

On the third day of Christmas, Lord Voldy gave to me....
Three Dursleys (Where's my gift receipt?)
Two dead parents (Orphan :-( Jeez!)
And a lighting bolt scar (This thing is ugly!)

On the fourth day of Christmas, Lord Voldy gave to me....
Four Parseltongue words ("You're so dead, Potter!")
Three Dursleys (Where's my gift receipt?)
Two dead parents (Orphan :-( Jeez!)
And a lighting bolt scar (This thing is ugly!)

On the fifth day of Christmas, Lord Voldy gave to me....
Five dead bystanders (plus about 20 more or so)
Four Parseltongue words ("You're so dead, Potter!")
Three Dursleys (Where's my gift receipt?)
Two dead parents (Orphan :-( Jeez!)
And a lighting bolt scar (This thing is ugly!)

On the sixth day of Christmas, Lord Voldy gave to me....
Six lonely school years (Always getting picked last STINKS!)
Five dead bystanders (plus about 20 more or so)
Four Parseltongue words ("You're so dead, Potter!")
Three Dursleys (Where's my gift receipt?)
Two dead parents (Orphan :-( Jeez!)
And a lighting bolt scar (This thing is ugly!)

On the seventh day of Christmas, Lord Voldy gave to me....
Seven haircuts per week (That didn't even work!)
Six lonely school years (Always getting picked last STINKS!)
Five dead bystanders (plus about 20 more or so)
Four Parseltongue words ("You're so dead, Potter!")
Three Dursleys (Where's my gift receipt?)
Two dead parents (Orphan :-( Jeez!)
And a lighting bolt scar (This thing is ugly!)

On the eighth day of Christmas, Lord Voldy gave to me....
Eight minutes on a bike with Hagrid (Have you ever tried to SLEEP on one of those?)
Seven haircuts per week (That didn't even work!)
Six lonely school years (Always getting picked last STINKS!)
Five dead bystanders (plus about 20 more or so)
Four Parseltongue words ("You're so dead, Potter!")
Three Dursleys (Where's my gift receipt?)
Two dead parents (Orphan :-( Jeez!)
And a lighting bolt scar (This thing is ugly!)

On the ninth day of Christmas, Lord Voldy gave to me....
Nine fingers on a rat (Pettigrew's a loser!)
Eight minutes on a bike with Hagrid (Have you ever tried to SLEEP on one of those?)
Seven haircuts per week (That didn't even work!)
Six lonely school years (Always getting picked last STINKS!)
Five dead bystanders (plus about 20 more or so)
Four Parseltongue words ("You're so dead, Potter!")
Three Dursleys (Where's my gift receipt?)
Two dead parents (Orphan :-( Jeez!)
And a lighting bolt scar (This thing is ugly!)

On the tenth day of Christmas, Lord Voldy gave to me....
Ten years living with neatfreaks (YOU try cleaning the toilets everyday!)
Nine fingers on a rat (Pettigrew's a loser!)
Eight minutes on a bike with Hagrid (Have you ever tried to SLEEP on one of those?)
Seven haircuts per week (That didn't even work!)
Six lonely school years (Always getting picked last STINKS!)
Five dead bystanders (plus about 20 more or so)
Four Parseltongue words ("You're so dead, Potter!")
Three Dursleys (Where's my gift receipt?)
Two dead parents (Orphan :-( Jeez!)
And a lighting bolt scar (This thing is ugly!)

On the eleventh day of Christmas, Lord Voldy gave to me....
Eleven new enemies (Which gave me HOW many detentions in all?!)
Ten years living with neatfreaks (YOU try cleaning the toilets everyday!)
Nine fingers on a rat (Pettigrew's a loser!)
Eight minutes on a bike with Hagrid (Have you ever tried to SLEEP on one of those?)
Seven haircuts per week (That didn't even work!)
Six lonely school years (Always getting picked last STINKS!)
Five dead bystanders (plus about 20 more or so)
Four Parseltongue words ("You're so dead, Potter!")
Three Dursleys (Where's my gift receipt?)
Two dead parents (Orphan :-( Jeez!)
And a lighting bolt scar (This thing is ugly!)

On the twelth day of Christmas, Lord Voldy gave to me....
Twelve reasons to hate you (Counting the fact that you made me break up with my girlfriend!)
Eleven new enemies (Which gave me HOW many detentions in all?!)
Ten years living with neatfreaks (YOU try cleaning the toilets everyday!)
Nine fingers on a rat (Pettigrew's a loser!)
Eight minutes on a bike with Hagrid (Have you ever tried to SLEEP on one of those?)
Seven haircuts per week (That didn't even work!)
Six lonely school years (Always getting picked last STINKS!)
Five dead bystanders (plus about 20 more or so)
Four Parseltongue words ("You're so dead, Potter!")
Three Dursleys (Where's my gift receipt?)
Two dead parents (Orphan :-( Jeez!)
And a lighting bolt scar (This thing is ugly!)

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As he finished, Scimgeour stared blankly at him, while Ginny, beaming brightly, shrieked lovingly, "Oh, Harry!"