Disclaimer: These characters are property of JKR, although Leanne is a made-up character. The song "I Still..."from the album "Never Gone" is owned by the Backstreet Boys. The plot is all mine.

A/N: Hope you enjoy this songfic/one-shot. All the lyrics to "I Still..." are in bold. The character Leanne is mentioned only in passing, but is Charlie Weasley's wife. Although I have applied a suicide warning, it is only mentioned in passing, and no details are provided. Hope you enjoy!

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Memories Never Forgotten

Who are you now?
Are you still the same
Or did you change somehow?
What do you do
At this very moment when I think of you?
And when I'm looking back
How we were young and stupid
Do you remember that?
Baby

Eighteen-year-old Ginny Weasley sat at her desk, hastily fumbling through her drawer for a sheet of parchment. She pulled out a stack of old letters and began rummaging through the heap of mail, searching for a sheet that wasn’t written on. Something tumbled out of the pile and fell onto the floor. Ginny bent over to pick it up, but almost instantly regretted it.

Her heart ached and a wave of sadness rushed through her body as she looked at the small card in her hand. It was a picture of her and Harry, the only boy she had ever loved. Now he was gone—far beyond her reach, and it was all her fault. She stared at the photo for a moment, and then sighed deeply. No, it was too painful to think about, she decided to herself. Just reflecting on the memory of what had happened at Charlie and Leanne’s wedding was enough to make her heart cry…

Ginny was enjoying the wedding reception in the backyard, when someone tapped her on the shoulder. She spun around, and came face to face with her older brother.

“Ginny, Harry’s here,� Ron said, pointing towards the house. “I think he wants to talk to you.�

“H-H-Harry?� asked Ginny in disbelief. “When did he get here?�

“He just Flooed in right now,� Ron informed her.

“Oh, I see,� Ginny said slowly, not moving any closer to the house.

“Aren’t you going to talk to him?� asked Ron. “You haven’t seen him since the war ended.�

“Y-Y-Yeah, of course I’ll go,� Ginny managed to say.

“Just take it easy with him, okay Ginny?� Ron said. “He’s been through a lot and he’s…he’s not like he used to be. Just don’t get too shocked, though, because it’s a big difference. He’s really changed.� Ginny detected a note of worry in her brother’s voice.

“Yeah, okay Ron,� Ginny replied. She turned and began walking towards the house, careful to ensure that she didn’t trip over the hem of her dress robes. Inside, her heart was pounding. How different was Harry? Ron certainly wasn’t jumping for joy at his arrival.

When she reached the house, she slowly walked inside. Standing before her very eyes was Harry Potter, but something about him made her heart sink. He wasn’t the same boy she had known and loved for so many years. No, there was something different about him. There he stood before her, his brilliant green eyes full of anxiety and a solemn look across his face. Something was definitely wrong, but she tried to break the silence. “Harry, are you all right?� she asked, a pained expression plastered across her face. “I haven’t seen you in a long time.�

She had not anticipated that this was what she would say to him. She had expected that their feelings toward each other would be a lot warmer than they were right now. The reunion that she had fantasized about in her head was now a reality, and she had planned out a million different things to ask him. Sadly, she had the chance, but nothing seemed right.

“Hello Ginny,� Harry replied sombrely. “I’m afraid I can’t stay too long.�

Ginny’s heart ached. Harry seemed to be so…distant. “Well, I’m still glad you came,� she said sincerely, trying to ease the tension that she felt between them. “Ron said that you wanted to talk to me.�

“I do. Ginny…why have you avoided me for so long?� he asked. His bright green eyes were glistening with tears.

Ginny’s heart was breaking. Here was the only boy she had ever really loved, falling to pieces before her very eyes. “A-Avoided you? What do you mean?� Ginny asked gently.

“Why haven’t you replied to any of my letters?� The anger in Harry’s voice was mixed with emotion and sadness.

“I-I…� Ginny’s voice trailed off, her mind was completely numb.

“What? Did you want me completely out of your life? I’ve waited for such a long time, Ginny. Do you know how long I waited for you to reply to my letters? I wrote to ask you to marry me, but now I reckon you haven’t even opened my letters!� Harry said, exasperated.

“No, I did read them! Every single one of them! I didn’t want you to worry about me while the war was going on! I was scared, Harry, I didn’t want to lose you!� Ginny exclaimed painfully. “I was terrified for you. For Merlin’s sake, Death Eaters were hunting you down everywhere! You needed to concentrate on fighting and I didn’t want to be the one to make you lose focus! I just didn’t want you to get hurt!�

“But you did hurt me,� Harry replied grimly. “You broke my heart. You read everything, but chose not to say anything. That just makes it hurt even more. Now I’m not sure I could ever forgive you. You don’t love me anymore.�

No matter how I fight it
Can't deny it
Just can't let you go

Ginny’s heart was shattering to pieces. How could Harry possibly think that she didn’t love him? “Harry,� she said slowly, trying to control her emotions, “how can you think of saying that? There’s never been a time when I’ve stopped loving you.�

“One lesson that I’ve learned from the war is that you can’t trust anybody,� Harry replied flatly. “I’ve learned that the hard way. You think you can do something decent for someone, and they just turn your back on you.�

“What do you mean?� asked Ginny, looking up at him through her watery brown eyes.

“The night I let Pettigrew free was the worst thing I could have ever done. I thought I was being decent, but he’s a traitor,� Harry spat. “Just a traitor, and nothing more.�

“I don’t understand,� Ginny said. “What does this have to do with me loving you? Do you not trust me anymore?�

“I don’t know if I do,� Harry answered monotonously. “Sometime last year, I heard that you got engaged to Colin Creevey. Before I left, you told me that you’d wait for me. Whatever happened to waiting?�

Ginny was silent for a moment, but took a deep breath and spoke again. “I broke off the engagement, Harry. I thought I loved Colin, but I realized that my love for you was real, and it was still strong. I felt so bad for breaking his heart, but deep inside I knew that I’d rather wait for you. I didn’t expect that things would end up like this.�

“Neither did I,� Harry replied dully.

There was a long, awkward pause, as the two of them stood there, not knowing what to say.

“Well, I’ve got to leave now. I told you I couldn’t stay for too long. Here, I want you to keep this,� Harry said finally, breaking the moment of silence. He handed her a picture of the two of them at Hogwarts.

I still need you
I still care about you
Though everything's been said and done
I still feel you
Like I'm right beside you
But still no word from you

“Harry, before you leave, I want to give you something too.� She stepped closer to him, wrapped her arms around his neck, and gave him a long kiss.

When it ended, Harry stepped back and said, “I really must get going. I’m sorry it ended like this, but I hope we’ll always be friends, Ginny. I hope to see you again sometime soon.�

“Me too,� Ginny whispered hoarsely. He Disapparated, but Ginny still stood there, her eyes lingering on the spot where he had been standing just moments ago. Her heart was torn and it was official: Harry didn’t love her anymore. Their kiss didn’t mean a thing. The sensation still lingered on her lips, but it hadn’t sparked any warm feelings and Harry said he wanted to be ‘friends.’ That’s all she was to him now, just a friend. She couldn’t take it anymore…

Ginny began to cry, her tears dripping onto the letters on her desk, smearing the ink. She couldn’t deny that she still loved Harry, but she felt so empty inside knowing that her feelings weren’t being returned. Ever since Charlie and Leanne's wedding, she hadn’t seen or heard from him.

She had forgotten about searching for a sheet of parchment and was engulfed in her own thoughts, when suddenly, there was a soft knock on the door.

“May I come in?� whispered her mother.

Ginny was too busy sobbing to respond, so Molly came in and sat down beside Ginny. “Dear, what’s the matter?� she asked, looking worriedly at her only daughter.

Ginny’s head was in her hands and she was still crying. Molly was worried; her daughter didn’t usually cry. She glanced at the papers that were scattered over Ginny’s desk. There were old essays, letters, cards, and photos. Molly’s eyes were scanning the stacks of old parchment when she laid her eyes on a familiar picture. It was Harry and Ginny at Hogwarts, and they seemed to be having fun together. She turned her attention back to Ginny, whose sobs had now subdued.

“Ginny, why are you crying?� she asked gently.

“Mum, it’s nothing, I’m all right,� Ginny mumbled.

Molly gave her daughter’s tearstained face a good look. There was definitely something wrong. “Ginny, does this have anything to do with Harry?�

“Mum, I really don’t want to discuss this right now.� She didn’t want to start crying again.

“Are you sure you’re all right? Something really seems to be bothering you,� Molly insisted.

“We haven’t seen each other in a long time,� Ginny managed to say.

“Oh yes, I know. The last time I saw him was at Charlie and Leanne’s wedding. That was about a year ago. It’s a shame Harry doesn’t come to visit more often. I’m sure he writes to you?�

“N-N-No, Mum, he hasn’t written anything since we last saw each other,� Ginny replied almost inaudibly.

“Well, perhaps he’s very busy. I heard he’s been trying to find Pettigrew. Still, I do believe that he cares about you.�

Ginny tried to restrain herself from entering into another episode of tears. “I-I miss him, Mum. A lot.�

“I know, Ginny. I miss him too,� her mother said kindly.

“Mum, I-I still love him,� Ginny whispered hoarsely. She rose from her desk chair and embraced her mother in a tight hug.

“I know, I know.�

Now look at me
Instead of moving on, I refuse to see
That I keep coming back
And I'm stuck in a moment
That wasn't meant to last

Ginny’s mother left her room shortly after, leaving her to absorb the peace of her silent bedroom. Ginny brushed away a few strands of loose hair from her face and rubbed her eyes. Why was she reacting so strongly to a memory? It was now only a figment of the past. She so desperately wanted to move on and leave the agonizing memory behind her, but found that some aspect of it was forcing her to stay behind.

It’s because you still love him. You’ve never given up on him. A part of you is with him, that’s why you can’t go on; you just can’t bear to detach yourself completely from the one you love. But her heart was suffering from the painful truth. But has he given up on you? It’s been a year since Charlie and Leanne’s wedding, and you haven’t seen or written to each since then. Ginny decided that the only way to find the answer that would satisfy her anxiety was to write to Harry. She rummaged through another drawer and finally managed to find a decent sheet of parchment and began to write.

Dear Harry,

It’s been a long time since we’ve seen each other. I sincerely hope that things can be all right between us. I just want to let you know that I still do love you with all my heart. I’m sorry if I’ve broken yours, and I would do anything I can to mend it for you because you mean the world to me, Harry. I’m not asking you to take me back if you don’t want to, but I just want to let you know that I really care for you and I’ll never stop loving you. We’ve shared so many good times in the past, and I truly hope that things will work out.

Ginny

Her letter was rather short, but she couldn’t think of what else to say. She hastily folded up her letter, sealed it in an envelope and tied it to Kyra, the new owl that she had received from her parents when she graduated from Hogwarts. Kyra spread her brown and white specked wings, gave a friendly hoot, and flew out the window, leaving Ginny deep in thought. She reflected on how hard it was to fight her feelings.

I’ve tried to fight it
Can't deny it
You don't even know

She sighed deeply and pondered on how things might have been different if the circumstances had been different. She desperately wished that she could take an eraser and undo all of the events from the past few years. Unfortunately, life had no erasers, and even a spell like “Evanesco!� would not work in this situation. It would be nice if the Vanishing Spell could remove the troublesome memories of the past. For a moment, Ginny desired to lay her hands on a Time-Turner so that she could go back in time to untangle the most complicated web she had ever woven in her life.

All she wanted was to meet with Harry face-to-face once again. She just wanted to be able to reach him and set things right. Last time, he had seemed so…detached and isolated from the rest of the world. It tore her to bits because she hated to see him that way; his personality seemed to have undergone serious transformations and he seemed to be a different person from the boy she had fallen in love with when she was a young girl. Ginny knew that he’d experienced a lot while fighting in the war, but even though Voldemort had been defeated, Harry still bottled up most of his anger. Would he ever return to his old self?

No, he’s always going to be like this, a voice said to her. It’s your fault; he waited for you, but you didn’t keep your promise. The same line continued to echo in her mind…

“Ginny, I must leave now,� Harry said gently. The two of them were sitting in the living room. “It’s my duty to defeat Voldemort.�

“I know, Harry. Just be careful,� Ginny said, gazing up into his beautiful green eyes.

“I’ll make sure I come back in one piece,� Harry replied, a sheepish grin beginning to form on his face. Then he grew serious. “Will you wait for me, Ginny?�

“Wait for you? Yes, Harry. Of course I’ll wait for you,� Ginny said. “I’m not planning to ever let you go.�

“Well, before I leave, there’s something I want to give you.� Harry rummaged through the pocket of his robes and pulled out a small blue velvet box. He handed it to Ginny. “Here, I want you have this.�

Ginny opened it delicately and gasped at what she saw. It was one of the most beautiful rings she had ever laid her eyes on. “Harry! It’s beautiful, but you didn’t have to…�

“Ginny,� Harry said, more seriously this time, “this is a promise ring. Promise me that you’ll wait for me. I’ll come back for you when the war is over.�

Ginny took Harry’s hand in hers. “Harry,� she said solemnly, “I’ll be waiting right here for you. Don’t you worry about a thing. You’ve always got a place here in my heart. � She stepped closer and kissed him passionately. Then they embraced each other tightly before Harry stepped towards the fireplace.

“Goodbye, Ginny.� He grabbed a handful of Floo Powder and disappeared in a rush of green flames.

Ginny drifted back to reality, extinguishing the flames of that memory, so that her mind would not burn away. The promise ring he had given her almost two years ago was now sitting in the box somewhere under her bed. She felt ashamed that she had broken her promise to him, but now he’d probably never know how she felt…

That I still need you
I still care about you
Though everything's been said and done
I still feel you
Like I'm right beside you
But still no word from you

Several weeks passed by and Ginny still had not received a reply from Harry. “I wonder what’s been keeping Harry so busy,� Ginny muttered to herself as she cleaned out her room. A voice spoke up in the back of her mind. Now you know what it’s like to be ignored. This is exactly how Harry felt when you didn’t reply to any of his letters. She pushed that feeling aside, but couldn’t help herself from feeling a little bit guilty. With a heavy heart, she reached under her bed and fumbled to get the little blue box with the promise ring.

She gingerly opened the box and stared at the glistening ring that lay inside. The jewels sparked in the light of the room, and Ginny took it out of the box and slipped it onto her finger. She stared at her hand with the ring for what felt like a very long time, thinking about why she had taken it off before the war was over. It was because you were ashamed of your love for Harry. You took it off so that Colin wouldn’t get jealous, the voice inside her said. Now it’s too late, you’ve lost both of them.

The memory of when Harry gave the promise ring to her was beginning to seep back into her consciousness again. Not wanting to be aggravated by the thought, she pulled the ring off her finger and threw it on her bed along with the blue box. A small, folded-up piece of parchment dribbled out of the box. Ginny picked it up, carefully unfolded the parchment and read:

Dear Ginny,

If I don’t survive long enough to come back, I still love you. No matter where I am, I’ll still be waiting for you. You truly are the only one for me.

Love, Harry

Wish I could find you
Just like you found me
Then I would never let you go

Ginny read the note twice and then dropped it, as if it was on fire. Why hadn’t she seen this note before? Just reading it made her heart sink even more. Now it seemed as if letting go of Harry was the most foolish decision she had ever made.

Suddenly, there was an urgent knock on the door. “Ginny, you’ve got to read this!� her mother said, sounding frantic. Ginny opened the door for her mother and saw that her face was streaming with tears.

“What happened?� Ginny asked worriedly. Her mother did not cry often, so she knew this must be something quite serious.

Her mother didn’t respond, but handed her the copy of the Daily Prophet that was in her hand. Ginny picked it up all of the colour drained out of her skin. She felt as if a part of her had instantly died and she gasped at the headline: Harry Potter Dead at Age 19.

“No! This can’t be true!� Ginny screamed. “It can’t be, it just can’t be true!� She quickly scanned the article. Harry had apparently committed suicide, though the reasons were unknown. She was too shocked to cry, but the printed words on the newspaper were nothing but a blur. Ginny tossed the newspaper on the ground.

“This is all my fault. Why is it that I have to hurt the ones I love? I never even got to tell him that I still loved him,� whimpered Ginny. “He didn’t even get to hear those words from me, and I’ve been wanting to tell him for such a long time.�

“Ginny, dear, it’s not your fault. Harry probably had his reasons,� Molly said through her tears.

“Yeah, and that reason was me! It’s entirely my fault that he died! I broke his heart, I broke my promise…� Ginny trailed off, her body overcome with emotion and shock.

When she calmed down a bit, she turned to her mother and said, “Mum, I think I need to be alone for a while. I need to sort things out.�

Molly didn’t object, but nodded and quietly left the room. Ginny sat on her bed, feeling emptier than she had ever felt in her life. She had one chance, and she wasted it. Now she’d never be able to tell Harry how she truly felt. She’d never receive a word from Harry, she’d never know if he read her letter. Slowly, she picked up the ring and slipped it back on. “I still…I still love you. I’ll always remember you.�

Though everything's been said and done
I still feel you
Like I'm right beside you
But still no word from you

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A/N: Some comments and constructive criticism are appreciated, since this is my first songfic/one-shot.

Special thanks goes out to my beta readers, dory_the_fishie and gbutlergirl!