James was ready for bed first and watched his new fellow Gryffindors. He’d been Sorted just as he’d expected. It was turning out to be – well, not what he’d expected. Sure, they’d all got along well enough on the Hogwarts Express, or at least probably instead he should say most of them had, but they hadn’t seemed altogether Gryffindor material by his reckoning. He was used to getting along with people, but that didn’t mean all those people were brave or courageous, or even particularly interesting.

Remus Lupin, for instance, was thoughtfully unpacking his trunk into the tall wardrobe. He seemed such a plodder and in such a hurry to be liked. To James he seemed more like a Hufflepuff.

Sirius, perhaps, seemed a bit more the goods, but he’d gone off now into some vague worry and was standing, just standing, as though he’d forgotten what he was doing. He’d mentioned how his parents would be unhappy with him for not being a Slytherin, but that was hardly his fault. He didn’t seem a Slytherin, but quite possibly a Ravenclaw. Gryffindors shouldn’t look so worried.

And Peter Pettigrew – perhaps the Sorting Hat had to balance the numbers, or perhaps that bland greyness of self was a little more Gryffindor red than any other colour, but Peter was surely not what James had imagined a Gryffindor to be.

Still, Peter seemed positively a hero out of legend beside -- that. The fifth boy in the room had slipped into his bed and lay curled into a tight ball, looking no bigger than a cat, his black eyes glittering hate at them all. Sure, that little prank on the train had gone horribly wrong, but it had seemed safe enough at the time. James hadn’t meant to hurt the boy, and Snape had seemed entirely purely certainly Slytherin at the time. James had taken the risk of making an enemy.

Now that enemy would be sleeping in the next bed for the next seven years. James thought his mum would probably draw some little moral from that if she knew. He decided he wouldn’t tell her this particular story.

Remus was afraid they wouldn’t like him. Sirius was afraid of his parents. Peter was afraid of a lot of things. Severus, or Snivellus as Sirius had suggested, or Snape if they were in a rush, at least didn’t seem afraid, there in his spider-like lurk. Gryffindors should be bold and heroic and perhaps not quite so fearsomely ugly.

“Should we make a pact?� he asked the other boys, and every one of them jumped. “No cursing sleeping Gryffindors?�

Peter nodded hard, looking relieved. Remus grinned. “Sure.�

Sirius glared at Snape, who scowled right back. “I won’t if he won’t,� Sirius growled.

The black eyes weighed and measured Sirius, then turned on James. “I just suggested the blasted rule,� James pointed out, suddenly recalling every occasion he’d ever gone back on little promises. He didn’t break big ones, but there had been few of those and oh so many ones. “We have to get on for seven years; one big promise to each other seems like a good idea to me. I won’t if nobody else does. No curses, no hexes, no jinxes.�

Peter raised his right hand and echoed, “No curses, no hexes, no jinxes.� The others followed raggedly, Snape almost inaudible.

“Well. Goodnight, then,� James said, and drew the curtains. A gloomy goodnight or two sifted through the fabric. He lay listening to creaking springs and thumps of shoes, the awkward silences, and the subtle rustles of sheets. Once the room had otherwise fallen still, he could hear the boy in the next bed gradually uncoiling into a more natural position for sleep.

Splendid, James thought. Sirius afraid of his family, Remus afraid we won’t like him, Peter afraid of his shadow, and Snape afraid of us.

---

James had never been quick to wake, and by the time he recognized the unfamiliar sounds of a conflict, the battle was over. He whisked open the bed curtains just in time to see the door slam. Sirius roared, “Good riddance!�

Remus and Peter shuffled their feet in half-dressed uncertainty. “What happened?� James asked through a yawn. “What’d he do this time?�

“Greasy little git needs to learn to mind his own business and stay out of other people’s stuff,� Sirius muttered, and tossed a few rolls of parchment into a satchel.

“Mind your ink,� Remus suggested, and earned another growl. “I don’t know. I came in on ‘Shove off.’� Peter shrugged.

“Said he wanted to borrow a quill,� Sirius told his satchel. “I caught him by my things, looking like he was pinching one, and I said so. He called me a perfectly filthy name, so I called him one, and he sneered at it for a poor effort. So I gave him one on the nose.� He looked up then with a bit of a smile. “Not like I could have missed, really.�

James couldn’t stop a laugh. There really wasn’t much of Snape, but what there was, was nose. The greasy hair, the empty black eyes, the pale unhealthy body, all faded out of notice behind The Nose. “So he left, then?�

“Oiled right out, snivelling all the way.� Sirius looked proud to have vanquished his first Dark wizard.

“He left his things,� Remus said. “Should we take his bag down to breakfast for him?�

“We get our schedules at breakfast,� James pointed out. “We may as well all wait until we know what we need.�

“Unless you’re an evil little creep who knows already,� Sirius remarked, ignoring his own satchel of books.

Remus went to the ragged bag sitting on the tidily made bed. “No, he’s got the lot in here, and –� He lifted the bag, groaned, dropped it, and staggered a bit. “Sirius, my friend, if he really thought he could carry all that, all day, maybe you should be glad he didn’t hit you back.�

“Just means he really is guilty. There’s probably twenty quills in there, too.�

Remus peered inside. “Old books, cheap parchment, plain black ink. No quill in here that I can see.�

“An idiot, then, to bring all that and nothing to write with. And still a thief.� Sirius dropped onto the edge of his own bed and began tying his shoes, the matter settled.

James had to agree that Snape did seem the sort to consider asking nicely to be a last resort – well behind theft, bullying, and other such acts. Still, he had to wonder about the missing quill. His own mother had made sure he had half a dozen. He dressed, thinking, and spied Remus sneaking a goose feather into the ratty abandoned bag.

---

Snape sat alone at the very end of the table, staring at his plate and nibbling at a roll. The other four sneaked looks at him from well down the table. “Better table manners than last night,� James said.

“Hard for them to be worse,� Sirius scoffed. “He ate like a starved werewolf.�

Remus neatly dissected a sausage. “I think you owe the werewolves of the world an apology.�

“If one shows up to ask for it, I’ll give it,� Sirius told him, then brightened with surmise. “Hey, you don’t suppose…�

“New moon,� Remus said to his plate. “He’d look healthier. What? I like reading about Dark creatures.�

“So what sort is he?� Peter asked.

Remus shook his head and indicated his mouth was full.

“Vampire?� James offered.

Remus swallowed. “We did meet him in broad daylight beside a window. He just might be a person.�

Sirius shook his head. “Well, at least if he wasn’t a person it would explain what he’d be doing in Gryffindor. You’d have to be pretty brave to stomp in here if you were a werewolf or a vampire or something.�

Remus smiled a little. “Probably.�

Peter looked worried. “Should we add ‘no biting’ to the Gryffindor code?�

James punched him on the arm. “Maybe so. Better than finding out later that we should have.�

Their Head of House, Professor McGonagall, came to hand out schedules. She started with the lone boy at the far end, who bolted the moment he had the parchment. She watched him for a moment, shook her head, and worked her way down to the others. “Transfiguration first. Wicked!� James said. “We get to start with real magic!�

“Which textbook is that?� Peter fretted.

A worrying Gryffindor. James wondered how in the world the Sorting Hat had ever put the five of them in the same House.

They finished breakfast quickly after that, hurrying against little time to get their books and find the classroom. A few wrong turns later, they straggled in last, noting their missing Housemate sitting in a corner carefully barricaded behind girls. One, who’d made herself memorable on the train, had her head bowed to talk with Snape, which was unimaginable to James. After a moment, she giggled and tossed her red hair back. “What could he possibly have said to make her laugh?� James muttered at Sirius. “He’s not funny.�

“Not on purpose. Heaven knows I’d like to laugh at him, though.�

“That can’t be it; he isn’t mad at her.�

“Fine. Go over there and find out, if you think he could be that interesting.� Sirius looked braced to be mad at James.

“Nah. She’s just a girl. What does she know?�

That came out a little too loudly as the rest of the class fell silent. The tabby cat sitting on the teacher’s desk had begun to change. Shifting rapidly in bizarre ways, it became their teacher, and she stared meaningfully at James for a moment through her square glasses. Just his luck, hacking off the teacher he wanted most to impress.

“Transfiguration,� she began, “is a serious and subtle art. It can also be quite dangerous if misapplied or sloppily attempted. Therefore, there will be no ridiculous behaviour in my classroom, or you will leave and not come back.� This last was said with a particular emphasis as she scanned the row of boys. James tried to look entirely sensible while Sirius sat up straighter beside him. She explained her subject a bit more while James woolgathered in his alert pose. He knew about Transfiguration. His father was quite good at it, and he’d hoped to do at least as well.

Soon they were sorted out with a matchstick apiece, all trying to turn the thing into a needle. James managed to get something silver with a hole in one end, which made Professor McGonagall smile at him – at least she would forget earlier offences when praising an accomplishment. He meant to make her smile more often and glower less. He didn’t want to make his own Head of House take points from Gryffindor.

There was a sharp explosion on the other side of the room. The red-headed girl skipped back a pace, and Snape shrank a little in his seat. Smoke rose from the table before him. Professor McGonagall hurried to check the damage.

Sirius shook his head and poked unwisely at his now-round match. It rolled off the table, and Peter scooped it up for him. “Figures he’d be a stupid git, too,� Sirius muttered. The other boys fidgeted, their matches barely different from when they had begun, but they had not had an explosion either, and looked a little smug.

Nor did they have a second explosion, or a third. This performance in the opposite corner gave them the chance to note that their teacher, though strict, was quite patient. She simply handed Snape another match each time, murmured a few words, and continued her rounds of the classroom, praising good efforts and helping along the poorer ones. The girl with red hair, James noted with amusement, was working a little farther away from her new friend than she had been. Snape’s pale face had grown red with embarrassment.

“Gryffindors are supposed to be good at Transfiguration,� James muttered to the others. “What does it mean that our odd little greaseball isn’t?�

“Look, James, we all know the Sorting Hat made a terrible mistake,� Sirius said bluntly. “He just doesn’t belong at Hogwarts at all, never mind Gryffindor.�

“What was that, Black?� their teacher said, materialising behind them out of nowhere. Sirius jumped. “You’d best come with me for a moment.�

He did, wary and wide-eyed. James noted to himself that he’d best watch his words anywhere this fierce woman might hear him. He tried one more time on his match, and the blunt end obligingly went sharp. “I did it!� he exclaimed, getting envious looks from most of his classmates. On his first day, he’d made a matchstick into Something Else. That, unlike most of the rest, he could tell his parents with pride.

---

“I can’t believe we already have homework,� Remus groused to nobody in particular. James had already begun it, happy to write about Transfiguration and already certain it was his favourite subject.

Sirius had been assigned a detention and was sitting quietly beside James, writing the same essay. “May as well do that as anything else,� he said. “Unless you have some better idea?� The last sounded hopeful.

“Well, there’s a kitchen around here somewhere,� Peter suggested. “We could steal something for later.�

Snape, excluded, lay curled by the fire with a large book in front of him, ignoring everyone. James had been amused to watch a sixth-year turf him out of a chair some minutes before.

“Mercy, you just ate a gigantic dinner,� the red-haired girl told them, swinging into the seat to the other side of James. He wasn’t sure he wanted a girl and her lurgy there, and certainly not a girl who seemed to like Snivelly – as the name had become by teatime.

“Sorry, I missed it in all the shouting on the train,� he said to her. “What was your name again?�

She looked only a trifle embarrassed. “Lily Evans. And what do you answer to besides Toerag?�

“I answer to James Potter, if it’s said very nicely.�

She grinned. “You’ve misspelled ‘anomaly.’ I thought you might like to know. And it’s not really the right word anyway.�

“Thanks,� he said, hoping the tone of voice would run her off, but she at least seemed to be exactly as bold as he thought a Gryffindor should be. “How do you like Gryffindor House so far?�

Lily looked around. “Seems all right, I guess.�

“All right?� James, his dreams brushed aside, had had enough of this girl, and his disappointments, and of the whole silly nonsense of the Sorting. “All right? You’ve been Sorted into the best House of the lot, the House for brave, courageous people. You know, what the world always needs more of.�

Lily arched an eyebrow at him. “More than brains? Oh, and that third sentence is really awkward.�

He ignored that. “It’s all about strength, and facing your challenges squarely, and…� Had her pocket just moved? “… getting put in the history books so Binns can drone on about you in a hundred years.�

“Now there’s a prize,� the pesky girl said. “Have you studied semicolons?�

“There's more to life than -- � Her pocket more than moved. Something small and brown and hairless popped its head out, kicked, and landed in the middle of his essay. Without thinking, James shot out of his chair and dodged behind Remus. Whatever the thing was, it was slimy and warty and James wanted it nowhere near him.

The girl was folded over herself laughing. Sirius stared at him, rubbing his ears. “Trying out for the opera, mate?� James could see Remus’s shoulders shaking. Even Peter was laughing at him. It hadn’t been a scream, he thought, just a bit of a yelp. A chap was entitled to a bit of a yelp when a toad jumped out of a girl’s pocket and landed in front of him with no warning at all. Toads were horrible.

The older students were laughing too. Fleeing up the stairs to the dormitory had a momentary appeal, but – he was a Gryffindor, and he’d bloody well be a Gryffindor. Even if a toad was sitting on his essay, claiming it, not budging, looking at him with those big bulgy eyes.

“Nice toad,� he tried to say, but he wasn’t that big a liar. The words came out in a thin squeak.

The girl gathered herself up, then cradled the wart-ridden pet in her hands. “This is Esmerelda,� she said. “She’s very friendly and loves to meet new people.� A fit of giggles seized Lily and stopped the next words. “Isn’t… Is… Isn’t she… Isn’t she lovely?� she finally choked out, and then began laughing even harder.

James snatched up his half-finished essay and made a dignified, stiff-backed exit to the dormitories.

---

James had finished his essay, then hidden behind the bed curtains when the others came up. He couldn’t tell if there were three of them or four, whether his own shame had created a bond with Snape for the other three or not, and right this minute he didn’t care. They had laughed at him. Worst of all he’d deserved it. He lay feeling ashamed of his cowardice. Eventually he remembered that his teeth tasted mossy and he was still dressed, so he crept out to get ready for bed.

There was a small sound from the common room. James had sudden visions of a toad on the loose, hopping up to his dormitory, kicking its way under his covers, and putting its clammy foot on his leg. He knew, for an absolute certain fact, that there was no way he could go to sleep without reassuring himself that there was not a toad on the loose.

He thought he hadn’t made a single noise on the stairs, but Snape, now in an empty chair by the fire, looked up from his book. James gave himself a mental kick for thinking a toad could turn a page. “What are you doing up?� If he felt bad, he could at least make Snape feel worse.

The other boy held up a book and gave him a questioning look, as though even a great toad-spooked coward like James should be able to figure this out.

“Homework takes you this long?�

Snape shrugged. “I did the Transfiguration essay in History of Magic. But we have, if I calculate correctly, roughly three hundred weeks here, and some seven thousand books in the library. Now is the time to make a start on them.�

James stared at him, toads momentarily forgotten until a faint draft against his ankle made him jump. “You’re mental.�

“And you’re a big-headed nuisance. But here we are in the same House, so we may as well leave each other alone.� Snape gave him a rather pointed look, then turned his attention back to the page in front of him.

James felt his business there was unfinished. He had not managed to annoy Snape properly – ideally into leaving so James could search the room for any loose toads that might be hopping about. “And that’s your idea of a good seven years, is it? We leave each other alone?�

“I’m certainly not going to be your friend.� The last word seemed to drip derision.

“Well, I wouldn’t be yours either!� James snapped, with the sense of being beaten to something important. He’d wanted to dismiss this inferior creature, not be dismissed by him.

“Well, then.� Snape turned another page. “If we fight, we lose points from Gryffindor, and everyone else hates us for it. This much seems obvious enough. So we’re back to the plan of leaving each other alone.�

Still wide-awake, still unable to have the room to himself, and still out of sorts, James sat heavily in the next chair. He glared at the embers of the fire. “Can’t you just give me a good fight now and again, instead of sitting there being a smug little creep?�

Snape shifted, pulled out a smallish book, and threw it at him with alarming accuracy. James caught it with a corner a finger’s width from the bridge of his nose. “Can’t you shut up and learn something?� the other boy suggested.

James glared at him, which did almost as much good as glaring at the fire. “You nearly broke my glasses.�

Silence.

“Of course, if you can throw like that, you might make a decent Chaser.�

Silence, then a mild puzzled look.

“Chaser. Quidditch. You really don’t know about Quidditch?�

A headshake.

“All right, maybe it is a good thing you aren’t in Slytherin. Those purebloods would have eaten you alive. Quidditch is – oh, never mind. I’m sure you’ll find it in the library eventually.�

Snape nodded, either too disinterested to ask or too determined not to give James the chance to explain.

James gave up on needling. The book he held was bound in red leather and looked fairly old. Examining the spine, he read the title, The Nature of Courage. Curious now, he opened it. The title page expanded on the cover. The Nature of Courage: Profiles of Ten Famous Gryffindors.

“You weren’t expecting Gryffindor, were you?� he asked, and didn’t look up to see an answer. There certainly wasn’t one out loud. James leafed through the pages, disinterested. He’d heard of all of these people before, and history bored him. Then a sentence jumped out. As was Gryffindor himself, Englebert, the Lion of London, was afraid of snakes. And yet he went on to slay… “I’d never heard Gryffindor was afraid of snakes,� James said aloud, startled.

“You’d probably heard he wasn’t afraid of anything,� Snape said from the depths of his chair.

“Well…. No.�

There was a soft sound of derision. “So what is courage, then?�

“Well, it’s…� He thought for a minute. “Not being scared of things, not running away.�

“Which one, most importantly? Is it brave to not run away from the morning porridge?�

“What?� James started up, putting the book down on the chair, then thought better of it and heaved it back. Snape caught it without even seeming to look up. “I take it back. Seeker,� he said, just to be annoying.

“If you’re not afraid in the first place, what’s the merit in not running away, you idiot?� Snape gave him a glare. “A real Gryffindor stands and faces the toad.�

Rage blazed up in James. This – this little horror dared to sit there and tell James, James Potter, that he was not a real Gryffindor? And yet a deep doubt poked at him. He hadn’t faced the toad. He had stomped up the stairs in what now, afterward, seemed far too much like retreat. His breath caught, strangled him, and fled.

He looked around the room, unable to stand the sight of Snape another moment, and wished for a toad just so he could prove himself. There wasn’t one, of course. If there had been, though, he could have scooped it up and given it to the other boy just to see someone else screech and leap about. Assuming, of course, Snape didn’t just make a pet of it or have it for dinner or something equally icky. Still. James was down here, no longer hiding in the dormitory, and he was actually looking for a thing that frightened him. “I came back,� he snapped. “I came back to make sure it was gone. And that’s just as good. Would you have done any better?�

There was no answer. Impatient, James turned back. Snape gave him a level look and said nothing. James found himself thinking again about small cruelties and broken promises, about the bad joke he’d played as they rode the Hogwarts Express, and about listening last night to his frightened roommate trying to settle in and sleep. He’d thought less of the boy for his fear, but here James was, awake and jumpy, with only imagined toads and a fair helping of embarrassment to keep him nervous. Severus had, apparently, slept, then woken up intending to act as if the previous day had never happened, and perhaps the creepy little twit had some nerve after all.

James sighed. “All right. You wouldn’t have done any worse.�

There was a bell ringing, a small and sprightly one. James blinked, identified the sound, and started his day with a bit of good round swearing. He heard Sirius heave himself out of bed onto the floor, and then the little bell stopped. James lay where he was, hoping that just this once he would hear further sounds of movement…

The little bell began to ring again, a few feet closer to the bathroom then it had been. Remus uttered a word James hadn’t known until yesterday morning when Severus had taught it to them all. “Sirius! De-Charm that alarm clock before we all murder you!� James yelled.

In a new interlude of silence, Sirius said, “Can’t. I don’t know how. Evans did this for me.�

“And here I was beginning to like her after all,� James muttered.

Tiny metal feet clinked on the bathroom tiles three rings later. James heard Severus throw back bed curtains, pad across the floor, and firmly close the bathroom door. There was the sound of a sink filling with the taps on full force. The clock began chiming, and then there was a splash. The chiming of the bell gained an aquatic quality, dwindled, and died. The door opened again, and there was a wet clink.

“Yours, I believe,� Severus said from a spot near the door. “You might tell Evans that her walking alarm clock spell loses its sense and dives into sinks of water after a week or so.�

“You drowned my clock,� Sirius proclaimed from the floor. He always was a little slow of a morning.

“It leapt into the sink. If tomorrow morning it should fancy the toilet, I will leave it for you to fish out.�

James thought the little clock might have had a boost in its suicidal dive, but though he had promised Sirius he would never side with That, there were limits. Remus and Peter had made no such agreements. Both were snickering in their beds. Sleep would be impossible now, so James sat up and checked on his friend.

Sirius was holding his clock out at arm’s length, watching it drip with a bemused expression on his face. “He drowned my clock.�

“It’ll probably be fine when it dries out,� James assured, hoping it wouldn’t be. “And you’re awake now.�

Sirius nodded, then tipped the clock. The drip became a brief stream. The wet copper gleamed in the morning light. “I’m awake. Can we kill him?�

“I’ll bet that would be worth a whopper of a detention. Could we eat first?�

Once fed, Sirius was in a better mood and contented himself with a series of Trip Jinxes, which led to retaliation, which led to open war that ended the instant the second-year Gryffindors made the final turn toward the Transfiguration classroom. Evans showed her true Gryffindor courage by continuing to sit with Severus despite some of his more interesting attempts in the subject. She and he sat shooting glares at the other boys in free moments. James could live with that. Who cared what a girl thought?

Unfortunately the alarm clock had survived its dunking. More unfortunately, now that the crystal was fogged, it no longer made a tidy journey across the floor from Sirius’ bedside to the bath, but scuttled about the room ringing erratically and bumping into things. The boys tried several drying spells and even left the device on the hearth for two days. Severus unbent in his grudge long enough to offer a mummification curse to really dry the thing out, which sounded exotic and intriguing until he added, “Of course, it might not be safe to touch for the next few days. Or years.�

Sirius snatched away his property before anything else could happen to it. “You may not have noticed, but I like this clock.�

“Bully for you,� Peter grumbled through a yawn.

“Do you think maybe if you set the thing a little later, you could wake up faster after the extra sleep?� Remus the problem-solver suggested.

“It’s never worked before.�

“We could make it work.� Severus sounded a little too happy with his own suggestion.

“Snape, when I want you to curse me I’ll let you know. By hexing you first.� James thought he saw Sirius add a silent fatally.

Severus pointed down at the mattress he was coiled upon. “Safe zone.�

“Not unless you’re asleep. No hexing sleeping Gryffindors.�

“Well, since you’re the only one who can sleep in here, we may have to rewrite the blasted rule!�

James heaved a pillow at Severus to quiet him. Severus yelped, then made a show of pulling out his own pillow for comparison. Satisfied, he settled James’ pillow under his middle and used his own for return fire.

“Eew! I don’t want your greasy old pillow!� James yelled, and threw the offending object back. Severus made himself more comfortable with a sneer.

“You’ll have to Scourgify that, James,� Sirius said, happier now that he was not the target of everyone’s annoyance. “Or That.�

“Give that back, you bed-maker.� Really, what sort of boy made his own bed every morning when Hogwarts would do it for him?

“You threw it away.�

James lunged, meaning only to snatch back his pillow, but somehow found himself in a real fight. Severus seemed to know a lot more about Muggle-style brawling than James did. Sirius bounded in to help. Between them, they managed to pin Severus, Sirius leaning on his wrists while James sat on his legs. Rubbing what looked like a bite mark, James said, “Thanks.�

“No problem. This had better be a really good pillow, mate.�

James craned his neck to check the two pillows on the floor, and nearly went over onto his head when Severus tried to heave him off. “Best ever. Hogwarts knows its pillows.�

There was a muffled snort from somewhere near Sirius’ left armpit.

“I suppose we’d better not smother him,� James said without moving.

“Why ever not?� Sirius answered. “Detention. Right. Something tells me we should let go on three. One, two… NOW!�

Severus launched after them, but hadn’t been able to pick a single target. James yanked his robes out of grasping fingers and spun to face his attacker. Sirius coughed and rubbed his throat. “Worthless little git,� he muttered.

James crouched to get what he thought was his own pillow. He chose to ignore the smirk that said Severus thought it wasn’t.

The next morning, the damp and rusty jingle began once more. James heard Sirius stirring, then a shout and a loud thud. The alarm jangled on, joined by a torrent of strong language. James threw aside his bed curtains to see Sirius on the floor in an awkward sprawl. The clock was dancing away ignored, and the bed’s mattress was floating several feet above the bedframe. Two startled faces poked from the other beds; Severus merely looked interested and led with his wand.

“You all right?� James asked, hurrying to his prone friend and smacking the clock into silence as he passed.

“Who moved the floor?! I thought we were supposed to be safe in our sleep!�

James had thought so, too. He glared at Severus, who wasn’t even bothering to pretend to look innocent. “Well?�

“’No jinxing, hexing, or cursing of sleeping Gryffindors,’ was the deal. That was a Hover Charm on a mattress.�

Half of James sided with Sirius and was outraged. The other half wished he’d thought of it himself.

“Nice one,� Peter said, relieving James of his conflict.

“You could have hurt him,� James scolded.

Severus shrugged. “Wizards bounce.�

In case you missed it, that was not a bounce!� Sirius reeled to his feet, rubbing bruised parts, and began searching for his wand. “All right, greaseball, where did you stash it?�

“Nowhere.�

“Don’t lie to me!�

“I didn’t lie about the bed; why would I now?�

Remus tipped his head in a fair-point sort of way. Severus looked indignant, which often meant something bad was about to happen. “Don’t you keep it under your pillow?� James hazarded.

“Yeah! Yeah. Um.� Sirius was tallest of the group, but not tall enough. Even teetering on the frame, he couldn’t reach more than the edge of the mattress. It was barely low enough for him to have rolled under the curtain rod. Dropping back to the floor, he turned a beseeching gaze on James. “I don’t suppose you know how to undo a Hover Charm?�

“Maybe? Finite Incantatem!� The mattress swayed, knocking hard against the bedposts, and rose another handspan. “I guess not.�

Sirius looked hopefully around at the others. Remus shrugged and said James had already taken his guess. Peter pointed his wand and said “Delevitate?� with such uncertainty that his wand didn’t even shoot sparks.

James thought Severus looked too smug to even ask, but Sirius did, at last, direct his hopeful look to the original culprit. Severus only gazed back with mild interest until Sirius finally asked aloud. “Did you bother to look up how to undo a Hover Charm?�

“I thought I had.� He examined the problem, tapping his wand against his fingers. “But unless James is still sloppy with his wandwork and Remus is still too loyal a friend to undercut him by saying so, I have to say I’m a bit stumped.�

James scowled. It didn’t help at all that Remus looked a little sheepish. “Fine. Let’s see you do it, then.�

Black eyes narrowed. “What’s the magic word?�

James looked at Sirius; Sirius looked at James. “Would you say ‘We promise not to stick your head in the toilet again’ is one word?�

“Brilliant counting,� Severus told them, a distinct edge to his voice, “but it’ll do. Finite Incantatem!� James noted the tidy jab of the wand, and the bed thumped back to normal.

The five boys hurried through their normal routines in a guarded and hurried manner, running a little later than was comfortable. Severus started out the door ahead of the rest. Sirius muttered, “Good thing he didn’t try to Transfigure my bed instead of Charm it. He’d’ve blown the whole tower to bits.�

James spotted movement at the edge of the doorframe. “Look out!� he yelled, and dove as another voice shouted “Reductio!� Bits of sheet and a few bedsprings filled the air.

“Stupid git!� yelled Sirius from his face-shielding crouch.

“Supercilious wanker!� floated back up the stairs. James reminded himself to look up both words sometime.

The four boys gathered for a better look at the large hole in what had been Sirius’ bed. “That’s going to be hard to explain,� Peter said at last.

“Even harder to pay back,� Sirius growled.

After a few moody days, however, Sirius seemed to forget all about the incident. He began to spend more time in the library, claiming it was to spend less time closeted with That. Though the library was hardly Snape-proof, Madam Pince’s fierce reign over her territory made everyone safe enough. James followed his friend, figuring that studying once in a while wouldn’t kill either of them. “Little creep,� Sirius muttered one night. “Why is he always in here too, when he’s also always in the common room and always in our dormitory?�

“Three books a day,� James whispered back. “He’s out to read the whole library.�

“He’s mental.�

“I’m not arguing with you.�

“That’s impossible.�

“Probably. He doesn’t sleep much, though, which is all the more time to hex him in.�

Sirius chuckled. “I only need a minute. Make sure you’re not the second one up tomorrow, is all I’ll say.�

James felt a little hurt. Sirius never left him out of plans. “What about Remus and Peter?�

“Remus is ‘visiting his sick mother’ again. That woman needs a better Healer. Peter might blab if I told him, so I’m just counting on him to be a sound sleeper. All right?�

“Are you sure I can’t help?�

“Evans, behind you and closing. Ugglethorp the Awful, goblin wars; Wingledon the Wanker, inventer of Toenail Floss; Supreme Mugwump in 1715 was…�

“… fully one hundred years ahead of the end of our last history lecture.� Evans leaned over the back of the seat beside James. “I never knew you two were such history buffs. Do we have a test tomorrow I’ve forgotten about?�

“Er, no. We’re just…� James found himself uncharacteristically at a loss for what they were just doing.

“You know, I like to read ahead just because blood and guts and silly inventions are so much more interesting before old Binns sinks his ghostly claws into them,� Sirius improvised.

“I’ll grant the only thing Binns can improve is a nap. Let me know if you hit anything interesting. I’d looked forward to that class, and it’s turned out to be such a bore.�

“So far,� Sirius told her, “it’s pretty much blood and guts.�

“Well, there’s history for you. Somebody beating up on somebody else, and next thing you know all England’s ablaze.� She straightened back up. “Or something like that.�

Sirius nodded, then watched her walk away. “No wonder she gets along with That. They’re both nosy.�

“Is she?� James looked after her, noticing that her hair really was a pretty colour, especially by torchlight. “I guess she’s pretty enough most people mind less.�

With a noncommittal noise, Sirius went back to his book. “Just don’t get up too early tomorrow.�

“No worries. Whatever you’re doing, I don’t want to step in it.�

Sirius barked a laugh that earned him a Pince glare.

The gurgling of the Black alarm clock seemed unusually muffled the next morning. James listened, half-awake, as Sirius slid out of bed and padded to the bathroom. The bathtub began to fill, drowning out any sounds of prank or misdeed. Eventually the water stopped with a thump that jolted through the pipes. Some contented whistling and humming followed, and then Sirius emerged to cross the still-dark room once more. He collided hard with the foot of Severus’ bed and muttered something.

Severus growled something back. James tried to remember if he’d heard the other boy come to bed the night before. He heard a few fidgets and a noisy sigh, then the rasp of curtains shoved aside. Two footsteps later, there was a wild yell that seemed to cross the floor very fast, a solid crash, and a gigantic splash.

James shot upright. He looked out to find Sirius laughing, leaning against a wardrobe for support. The sounds from the bathroom seemed to indicate someone swearing venomously while trying not to drown in bubble bath. James looked down. A shining path across the floor faded under his gaze. Cautious probing with one toe revealed a slick surface, and then it was gone.

“Whazzat? I heard something,� Peter mumbled.

“I ran Snape a bath,� Sirius wheezed.

“Oh. Think he’ll be long? I need to have a pee.�

An ominous silence radiated from the bath, along with a strong scent of flowers. “Maybe you should… check, like… you could ask him,� James suggested. Sirius had slid all the way to the floor, quivering inaudibly.

Peter advanced toward the open door, creeping sideways. “Severus, are you going to—� A spray of water erupted from the doorway in answer, and he leapt back. “I’ll just close the door, than, shall I?� he offered, and did.

“Is he all right?� James asked, mostly for good form.

“He didn’t look too happy. Bit of a nosebleed, I think, and Sirius might have overdone the bubbles.� Peter stood nodding for a minute. “I’ll just go find another one, then.�

“You do that.� Sirius regained a little control of himself.

James fidgeted, not sure what to do. “Remind me not to get on your bad side.�

“Oh, you won’t. You’re not a little creep that should have been Sorted into Slytherin. But this was just Snivelly.� Sirius cocked his head, still sitting on the floor against the wardrobe. “Oh, come on. You didn’t find it at least a little funny?�

“Yeah. A little. The bubble bath part, yes. The slippery surface has uses, I think, and you should teach it to me. But – save some for the real Slytherins, eh? We’re all Gryffindors here, and we have five and a half more years to rub along somehow.�

“Come off it, James. He’s not a real Gryffindor; he didn’t even want to be in this House. And you know it.�

“It doesn’t matter. He is in this House, and—� James squared his shoulders. “And if he blows up your bed again, I’m not taking sides. You annoyed him, and for that matter the rest of us. He pranked you for it. You made a war of it, and that’s your problem.�

Sirius stared up at James, then slid back up the wardrobe to stand. “You think I overdid it.�

“Yeah.�

“He drowned my clock.�

“And the rest of us cheered.�

“He Hovered my bed.�

“Yes – and he put it back again when you asked.�

“And then he blew it up!�

“True. The house elves had it all cleaned up and fixed by that night, though. Nobody got hurt.�

Sirius paced two steps, pivoted, and said, “So, you think I overdid it?�

“Pretty much. At least, I think it would be fair for him to think you overdid it.�

“Who cares what Snivelly thinks?�

The response sounded automatic, which James thought was a start. “Anyone who lives in the crossfire, mate. Try to wrap it up, will you?�

Sirius paced a few loops from bed to door and back. “Merlin’s skivvies, James, you can’t expect me to apologize!�

“Don’t bother!� came quite clearly from the bathroom.

Sirius gave James a sidelong angry look for making him have this conversation where That could hear it. “Wouldn’t anyway!�

“Good!�

Rolling his eyes, Sirius muttered, “See? Completely hopeless.� More loudly, he added, “It wasn’t cold water!�

After a very long silence, there came a “Thanks� so frosty James thought it probably froze the bathwater to ice on its own. He gave Sirius a shrug and a prompting handwave.

“No!� Sirius mouthed silently.

“Remember what Evans said about blood and guts and all England ablaze? This is how wars start.�

“You’re assuming he’d get anyone on his side.�

“Evans.�

“Fair point.� Sirius thought hard, visibly, forehead slumped and eyes distant. “Bloody hell. Sev, I’ll quit if you will.�

There was no answer from beyond the bathroom door for several seconds. “One condition,� Sev said eventually.

“Condition?�

James made conciliatory gestures once more.

“You have to wear this bloody perfume you’ve created at least as long as I do.�

Sirius sniffed a few times. James didn’t have to. “It is rather strong, isn’t it? Bother. But as conditions go, it isn’t so bad, I guess.�

“Worth not having a war on our hands, I’d say,� James said. Peter padded back in, looking more content than he had, and began rummaging out his robes. “You missed it all, Pete.�

“Missed what?�

“Everything. War, famine, truces, negotiations. Things Binns will be teaching in another hundred years. Everything!�

Sirius laughed, himself again. “There’ll be a test on it, I’m sure.�

Peter actually looked worried. James said, “Speaking of famine, anyone for breakfast?�