Miss Myrtle



Sirius Black crept down the hallway under James’ invisibility cloak. He held his wand aloft with his right hand and grasped a rather grubby piece of parchment with his left. Periodically, he would lower his wand and scan the parchment as if he was looking for something….or someone.



It was a nearly moonless night and the stars shone palely, making Sirius’ wand more necessary than usual. It would have been awkward for him to have knocked over a suit of armor or walked into a wrong room while invisible. It would have been even worse if he stepped on Mrs. Norris. That cat sure could yowl.



Being careful to check the map, Sirius walked up several flights of stairs and eventually found what he was looking for. The tip of his wand illuminated the dark hall and the small shaft of light fell upon a large door. Muttering the password, which he had coaxed from James earlier, Sirius eased the door open and entered the large bathroom.



Sirius was, and always had been, a rather vain person. He disliked showering with the other boys in his dormitory, so whenever James owed him a favor, he would end up bathing in the Prefect’s bathroom. This time, Sirius had helped James not to look like a complete fool in front of Evans. He figured that James owed him several favors – at the very least.



Sirius shut the door with a quiet snap and walked over to the portrait of the usually giggling mermaid. Fortunately, she was sound asleep and curled up on her rock. Sirius shifted the portrait’s frame slightly to one side, as if he was checking for something behind it. Gently replacing the frame after a moment, Sirius walked to the gilt shelf in the corner that was filled with fluffy white bath towels. Before taking one, Sirius bent down on his hands and knees and looked below the shelf. Apparently not finding anything, Sirius chose a towel.



While unbuttoning his cloak, Sirius bent over the numerous ornate taps and tried to decide which type bubbles he was in the mood for. The light pink bubbles were quickly eliminated, as were the ones that had overpowering floral scents. Eventually deciding on a thick white foam, Sirius shed the rest of his clothing and slipped into the warm and soapy water.



Leaning his head against the cool edge of the tub, Sirius sighed in contentment. Nothing was going to interrupt him this evening.



~*~*~



Coincidentally, Moaning Myrtle sighed at the exact same time and for the exact same reason. Sirius Black was the most handsome male to have ever set foot in the castle, in her most humble opinion. And in her years as a resident ghost of Hogwarts, she’d seen a lot of fellows.



Usually, she fell in love every third week. There were just so many men in the castle and so little time! But her obsession with Sirius Black had lasted nearly two whole months. So, she felt that she was fully justified in following him around. She had spied on him exactly nine times and he had noticed her exactly three times. . It was a fairly good ratio, in her opinion.

In fact, the last time she had been caught was when she had spied on him from the toast rack at breakfast. He had panicked when he saw a human face staring at him from the marmalade jar.



She sighed again, but this time in disappointment – Sirius had used a thick foam and it was harder to see him from her current position within one of the numerous taps. He usually chose a fairly light layer of bubbles, which were much easier to see through. Myrtle’s favorite, which had only happened once, was when he merely used water. Myrtle smiled reminiscently; that had been a wonderful evening.



Myrtle felt suddenly bold. She was going to admire the man in the bathtub no matter what. Not even heavy foam could stop her!



She floated slowly out of her tap, trying her hardest not to make any noise, and perched herself on the edge of the bathtub – directly behind Sirius. As he had his eyes closed, Sirius didn’t notice Myrtle floating about the room.



Sirius took a deep breath while keeping his eyes closed and submerged his head beneath the water. Pushing off of the bottom, he began to take a lap across the swimming pool-sized tub. Myrtle watched in admiration, he looked so bloody gorgeous in the water!



After two laps, Sirius stopped swimming and began to float on his back. Myrtle watched eagerly, but then realized with a huff of disappointment that the foam covered everything but his much too good looking face. Damn!



Sirius’ head popped out of the water quite suddenly and turned in Myrtle’s general direction. Had she just said that aloud?



Apparently she had. Sinking down so low in the water so that the bubbles brushed his chin, Sirius screwed up his face and shouted, “Myrtle!�



Still feeling bold (and a little bit flirtatious), Myrtle said coquettishly, “That’s me.�



“Damn it, Myrtle! Get out of the bathroom. I’m trying to take a bath!�



Feeling like she still stood a chance of staying in the bathroom and observing the love-god in the bath, Myrtle glided over to where Sirius stood amidst the foam.



“I’m not getting out until you leave, Myrtle,� Sirius said determinedly.



Myrtle grinned; she loved it when he offered her ultimatums like that. She often spent hours alone in the U-bend planning just how to respond to his comments. She had practiced for this particular one frequently.



“That’s alright. I’ll stay until the bubbles leave.�



Realization dawned across Sirius’ face and his jaw dropped. “Like hell you won’t!�



Sirius made to swim for the edge of the tub and realized that Myrtle’s gaze was still intent upon him. He noticed abruptly that the foam was becoming quite thin in places. Avoiding Myrtle’s look of glee, he began to make scooping movements with his hands to pull whatever remaining bubbles towards him. It was a valiant attempt to preserve his modesty, and Myrtle couldn’t help but giggle at his actions. He looked so cute when he was flustered!



Holding the bubbles around his neck like some great medieval ruff, Sirius bellowed, “That’s it Myrtle! Get out or I’ll tell the Bloody Baron that you’ve been spying on students!�



Myrtle sighed. She loved it when he threatened her. “Oh very well, I’ll return to my bathroom, where I’ll be all alone without anyone to keep me company at all!� Sniffing slightly and wiping tears from her eyes for effect, Myrtle dove towards one of the taps.



“Thank you!� Sirius rolled his own eyes at Myrtle’s boldness. The nerve of some ghosts! Then he pulled the plug and allowed the water to drain out of the enormous bathtub.



So much for his interruption free evening, he thought as he waited for the water to drain. Somehow Myrtle almost always found him when he was alone in a bathroom. It was uncanny how she did that. Was she following him?



Shaking his head to get the water out of his face and the disturbing thought out of his mind, he pulled himself out of the tub and grabbed his towel. Making sure that it was securely around his waist, he began to gather his things together.



From the tap where she had been hiding, Myrtle grinned and sighed again. She was in love.