The Continual Annoyance of Wrackspurts by WrackspurtGirl
Summary: Wrackspurts - highly annoying and a lot of hassle!
After an introduction to the creatures themselves, read a series of one-shots travelling across the era's with an excerpt from the founders, marauders and even Wrackspurt expert Luna Lovegood herself!

Sit back, relax and enjoy reading about the continual annoyance Wrackspurts really are!

Categories: Humor Fics Characters: None
Warnings: None
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 2 Completed: No Word count: 2946 Read: 9442 Published: 08/25/07 Updated: 11/14/07

1. Chapter 1 - An Introduction to Wrackspurts by WrackspurtGirl

2. Chapter 2 - The First Sorting by WrackspurtGirl

Chapter 1 - An Introduction to Wrackspurts by WrackspurtGirl
Author's Notes:
This is a strange style but its supposed to be written in the style of a textbook. Most of what I have written is based on the quote from Luna Lovegood "A Wrackspurt - they're invisible, they float in through your ears and make your brain go fuzzy," she said. "I thought I felt one zooming around in here." The other sections of this are purely the work of my rather insane imagination. This is my first ever fan fiction so I apologise if it's not very good. I'd like to say thanks to my fantastic friend Myth, because she really encouraged me to keep writing and sat and listened to all my ideas. Also a huge thank you to my Bet Laura (Horsegirl_2), she has beta'd the whole of this fic for me and she has done a fantastic job! Thank you so much Laura!
Chapter One - An introduction to Wrackspurts
 
Although Wrackspurts have existed for centuries, the majority of evidence supporting their existence has been gathered in the last two to three hundred years. The most common explanation of a Wrackspurt is that they are ‘Invisible’ and that they ‘fly in through your ears and makes your brain go fuzzy’. It has also been claimed that some people can sense the presence of a Wrackspurt in a room.
 
Indeed, a Wrackspurt is one of the few magical creatures which are truly invisible to all people - magical or Muggle. This may seem to be a strange analysis but some creatures can only been seen by those who have had certain experiences. For example, Thestrals can only be seen by someone who has witnessed death. There are also many other creatures or plants which display similar qualities in that they can only be seen by someone who has experienced something specific. In the case of a Wrackspurt however, they are invisible to all, regardless of their situation or personal experiences. It has also been proved that Wrackspurts cannot be seen by any known species of intelligent creature (including goblins, centaurs, house-elves etc.)
 
The most recent study into the Wrackspurt population also suggests that instead of flying, Wrackspurts drift or hover. This is due to the evolution of the Wrackspurt, since they discovered their ability to become invisible they have not need of other skills. Hundreds of years ago, when Wrackspurts were still visible, they needed the ability to fly as without quick reflexes they would have become an extinct species. They therefore developed a more leisurely way of moving. Some leading wizards suggest that this is due to their ability to observe the world from a different perspective, although others merely believe that they are lazy. This has been an ongoing debate for many years, and it appears to be unlikely that the matter will be resolved soon.
 
The notion that a Wrackspurt can ‘make you brain go funny’ is slightly crude and highly inaccurate. It is true that a Wrackspurt can be responsible for making you lose your thoughts but the most likely situations in which you would encounter a Wrackspurt would be; when your friend is talking about an ex, in the middle of an exam, during a class or in the workplace, whilst sitting on the Knight Bus or travelling by Floo powder or whilst cooking a meal. In the majority of situations Wrackspurts involve merely losing interest in your surroundings or forgetting some vital piece of information. In extreme cases however, if you have accidentally harmed a Wrackspurt they can cause headaches, the feeling that you have just fallen from a great height in the pit of your stomach and even the ability to continually fall-up stairs.
 
The majority of Wrackspurts seem uninterested in humans or other magical creatures however they do enjoy foods such as toast. If you are in the situation where you are being followed by a Wrackspurt the most likely reason is one of these two. The first is that it has taken a dislike to you for whatever reason and will continue to follow you around; although this seems like nothing it could cause great difficulty when you are in exam situations, talking with people or participating in a social gathering. The other reason is that it has decided it likes you and will follow those who insult you, or those who you hate, and deliberately float through them. The most common place for a Wrackspurt to pass is through the head, stomach or knee.
 
The ability of a person to sense a Wrackspurt has been a highly debated subject for many years. There have been fourteen international conferences on the matter and after extensive research it has been discovered that people cannot sense a Wrackspurt in a room. They have merely had a lot of experiences with these creatures and are accurately able to interpret their surroundings and peoples reactions. This in itself should be classified as a rare gift, as few people are able to do this and the person must have had extensive contact with the creatures to be able to correctly interpret the signs.
It must be emphasized that Wrackspurts are not angry violent, vindictive or aggressive creatures and that the majority of encounters with them are purely random. Over the centuries they have blended into the wizarding society with such precision that the majority of people do not even realize they exist. Under the new laws protecting magical creatures and plants Wrackspurts have been classified as a protected species and it is illegal to kill a Wrackspurt for any reason.
 
At the moment the Ministry are working on a selection of methods to detect a Wrackspurt although they are unsure about whether this a wise decision given that these devises could then be used to trap and/or hunt Wrackspurts and endanger the species further. The Ministry’s punishments are currently being decided upon and finalized but it is expected that the maximum penalty per Wrackspurt could be anything up to a year in Azkaban depending on the circumstance and manner in which the creature was killed; hopefully however these laws will be seldom used.
Chapter 2 - The First Sorting by WrackspurtGirl
Author's Notes:
This is my second chapter which is about the Founders and the first ever sorting at Hogwarts. Thanks to Laura (Horsegirl_2) for her Beta work on this, Myth and Chii for reading and encouraging me, and to Ritta and all the other moderators who have given me reasons for this chapters rejection. Especially Ritta, for being so nice when this was rejected and telling me where my mistakes were, it was really great of you to take the time to write such a great response! Thanks for reading and I hope you like it! Ell
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The First Sorting



It could have been Helga’s inquisitive nature, or it could have been lack of common sense but either way there were plenty of excuses.



Firstly, she was busy admiring her and her friends’ handiwork. It had taken years to build, protect and hide the castle. All of the tasks they had faced in establishing the school had been long and hard but this was the first real test - the students. Would it really be possible to teach 100 eleven- year-old children magic? Would the anti-Muggle charms hold? Would the creatures and animals obey them?



Well her hopes about the last question were certainly diminishing quickly. They had decided (Rowena, Salazar, Godric and herself) that the new students should see Hogwarts for the first time in the best possible way - via the great lake. That had been a terrible idea - along with keeping the broom shed outside (she was sure they were going to get stolen - and given that they had all promised the parents not to give their children Veritaserum it would be impossible to know which one of the ‘little darlings’ had done it).



Anyway, crossing the lake … it was cold, windy, wet and the giant squid was an idiot! An absolute idiot! Its main job was to stop intruders from entering the school, not the staff and students. So much for Godric’s claims that he ‘could train any creature’. Upon entering the lake, they had been promptly slung back out again. By the time her fourth attempt to row across the lake had been thwarted, Helga had given up all hope. Needless to say that by the time she had reached the school, the last thing she wanted to do was worry about was what students she wanted in her house.



Her only other possible excuse that she could use, was that she was oblivious to some of the finer elements of the wizarding world, given that she was a half blood. Helga had had over thirty years experience in the wizarding world however so this was a highly unsatisfactory explanation.



Once she had entered the Great Hall, she quickly looked across the table and noticed that a fly seemed to be flying around and then pausing - as though struck by a stunning spell, only a few centimetres away from the table. After observing this for a few moments Helga decided that it was a lot more interested than the scared students and went to sit down. She was now in a perfect position to observe the fly.



The students finally arranged themselves into a line in front of the main table. It had been Rowena’s idea originally because as there were no houses it meant the students would all be close enough to hear them talking without having to use any charms to project their voices.



“Welcome to Hogwarts,” Rowena began. She was nervous; Helga noticed it even if the others hadn’t. They had been friends for so many years that she was able to sense what her best friend was feeling, and sometimes even thinking, before she came to realise this herself. “As you should already know, there are four houses - named after us. During the course of this year we will teach you magic and how to control your talents. Before any of this however we need to establish which house, and therefore which teacher, you will be with for the rest of your time here. Professor Gryffindor and Slytherin will explain more.”



She quickly sat back down next to Helga. Meanwhile, Salazar and Godric, taking the title professor in their stride, stood up and walked over to face the terrified students.



Despite Rowena’s assurance that they were going to explain everything, the two men drew their wands and began to send multi-coloured sparks in all directions. Some of these sparks whizzed past the students ears causing them to duck, others bounced of the walls and ceiling and yet others hovered in circles by Godric’s hat which he had placed on a small three legged stool (conjured by Salazar) for everyone to see.







Fifteen minutes later the show ended with a single, purple spell. It was the last beam of purple light that had been the spell to enchant the hat, but Godric and Salazar being the men they were, seamed to have thought that one spell was ‘boring‘ and that the year needed to start with ‘a bit of a bang‘. It was so typical of those two to make everything a show. In fact Rowena and Helga had exchanged several glances throughout the fifteen minutes - it had even been hard for them not to laugh at some points! At least now, however, the students would get some sort of explanation.



“This hat has been enchanted …” Salazar began (“That wasn‘t obvious,” Godric muttered under his breath) “ to be able to read our minds.” Slytherin continued, signalling in the general direction of the other three. “This means that once we have put on this hat it will be able to tell exactly what qualities we want from the students in our house.”



“Then,” Godric finished, “ you put it on and it tells you which house you belong in. And that’s it, fast, easy, and simple!” He finished beaming at the tiny first years. Somehow they had managed to shrink into the background during the two men’s rather over the top spell casting.



At this point, both women stoop up and walked up to the front of the stool. The fly Helga had been studying seemed to have been moving very, very slowly towards the stool but it was only part way there. Gryffindor was the first to whip the hat of the stool and place it upon his head. As it has been Godric’s own hat Helga expected it to have fitted precisely, but apparently the hat had been enlarged slightly, as the hat now fell a little over his eyebrows.



The conversation he had with the hat, went as follows -



[I]Godric: Hello, hat

Hat: Hello, Godric

Godric: Are you going to ask me a question?

Hat: Like what?

(pause)

Godric: err … what students I want …

Hat: Oh, yes, students! Of course! What particular qualities do you want from the students in your house then?

Godric: Ok, well I want people who are brave, loyal, and fierce friends. I’m looking for people who understand risks but know that when it comes to their friends, or when someone that cares about is in danger - no matter what the risk is, they have to do it!

Hat: Brave, loyal, fierce friends etc. Ok I‘ve got all of that memorised, next please![/I]



Godric removed the hat looking rather pleased, apparently it had worked. Helga had been considering this for a long time - the people in her house would build a reputation, and in years to come, she herself would also be judged by the quality of those students who were going to be selected to be members of her house. Rowena stepped forward and put on the hat.



[I]Hat: Hello, Rowena.

Rowena: Hello … er …. um … do you have a name?

Hat: Godric called me hat so I suppose that’s my name.

Rowena: That’s not a name! A name is something like Hengist. He’s the man who’s planing on building a village near here, Hogsme or something he wants to call it. Actually Hengist’s a great name, I’ll call you that!

Hat: I don’t like Hengist.

Rowena: Well, What do you like?

Hat: Hat!

Rowena: Fine then, *she sighed loudly* hello, Hat!

Hat: Hello, Rowena what type of people would you like in your house?

Rowena: Ok, I’d like to have intelligent people, book worms, someone who wants to learn , people who want to make something of themselves, help others but without doing it for fame and glory. I know that’s a lot but I’m really looking for people who are open minded. Those who are willing to accept Seers, Tarot reading and consider, or even better believe in creatures such as the Crumple-Horned Snorkack. (pause) Thank you for doing this!

Hat: You’re welcome. I’ve got all of the details now. Please pass me on now, although it was nice meeting you, Miss![/I]



The fly was now quite close to the stool. Helga had been watching it intently as Rowena sat on the stool. She knew exactly what she wanted from people in her house, and as the hat was passed onto Slytherin who sat down on the seat, she recited what she wanted. She wanted Quidditch players for a start - being a huge Wigtown fan (she played for the local team but they had no official status), this made her even more determined than ever to have the best Quidditch team in Hogwarts.



Quidditch was only a small part of what she wanted however, what she really wanted was people who didn’t care about fame, immortality, books, or idiotic ideas. In her opinion absolutely morality got people nowhere, and she wanted her students to have a good combination of loyalty and common sense. Most importantly however, she wanted them to have a natural passion for small creatures (nothing like the giant squid, hypogriffs and thestrals that Gryffindor loved) and a love for magical herbs and plants.



Salazar had removed the hat and it was now her turn. The fly had reached the chair and was hovering above the seat. Deciding that the sorting was far more important Helga patted it gently out of the way with her hand. The moments her hand got close to the fly, it felt cold. Ice cold. Pushing the thought from her mind she put on the hat and sat down. That was her big mistake.



Inadvertently she had missed the signs and sat on a Wrackspurt. Or to be more precise there was now a Wrackspurt quite happily sitting somewhere inside her.



[I]Hat: Hello, Helga! (pause) Are you alright?

Helga: I’m … ok. How are you?

Hat: Well … I’m a hat. Apart from that I’m fine, thanks. Now, what type of people would you like to be in your house?

Helga: I, I, I can’t remember. I can’t believe this. I know I’ve been planning this for weeks but I just can’t remember.

Hat: Maybe if you give it a minute you’ll remember …

(Five minutes later)

Hat: How about I just give you some nice kids, I can read your mind so I know you’re a lovely person.

Helga: That would be really nice. Thank you!

Hat: No problem my dear, now I suggest you take me off. The sooner the Sorting is over, the sooner you can begin to eat the fantastic feast I know you have planned!

Helga: Thank you, goodbye.[/I]



In hundreds of year’s time, those in Hufflepuff would have a reputation for being pushovers and a group of people who have hardly any backbone between them. And it really is such a shame. If only Helga had paid more attention, followed the signs and avoided the fly that had decided to sit on the Wrackspurts shoulder. Anyway, if you ever wondered why Helga wanted such people in her house, then now you know that she didn’t.



Of all the days to have an encounter with a Wrackspurt!



A/N I went on Mugglenet to find names that were around in the founders era and it said that ‘Hengist of Woodcroft founded the town of Hogsmeade near the new school, as a haven from Muggles’. As it said new school it surgests that the founders were still there and therefore makes it likely that they knew each other. I hope this makes sence to you, if not then please leave a review and ask a question and I will answer it. Also thank you so much to my three reviewers - your comments have been fantastic and well apprecited. Thanks also to those people who have favourited this fic - it's great to hear that people like it! Finally thank you for reading this and please review if you get a chance! It’s fantastic to hear what people think!

This story archived at http://www.mugglenetfanfiction.com/viewstory.php?sid=72033