We were about to win. It was cold, windy, and wet. My uniform was heavy and uncomfortable from the rain, my hair plastered to my face. The game was intense. We had reached what I hoped were the final moments, the moments I would bring my team to victory. I didn’t care about the weather or uniform. Rather than being afraid of the balls rushing past me, I was excited by them. I flew faster as the rest of the team focused on avoiding injury. I knew I should be scared, just like everyone else was. But this was the most amazing feeling for me.

I thought I saw the Snitch. It was tiny, and incredibly fast; it was even harder to see than usual now that everyone was moving about so quickly and aggressively. Determined to catch it immediately, I dropped my broom until my feet skimmed the ground.

I knew I was taking a risk as I flew beneath the other players. I had never attempted something like that before, and kept looking at the dangling feet above me as I glided just above the ground. I then shot up again as the Snitch did, surprised as I jerked forward with great force.

Gasps and cheers could be heard throughout the crowd, and I knew that this was the most exciting game I had ever played. Until then I had only heard this much enthusiasm from the crowd at the end of the game, when someone was proudly holding the Snitch in their shaking hand. I was not concerned with what they were excited about now, though; I could see the Snitch, and catching it was all that mattered to me at that moment.

I extended a trembling arm as slowly as I could, the entire time wanting to move faster. My broom was swaying from side to side. I held on to it as tightly as I could, but kept one arm out, my fingertips just inches from the Snitch.

I was closer. I was going faster and faster. Everything rushed past me. Everything was blurry. I flailed my arm, felt my fingers brush the Snitch, and suddenly I was falling.

I didn’t realize what had happened until I began falling. Something had hit me. It must have been a Bludger, nothing else could have hit me so hard, but my eyes were closed. I knew that if I opened them everything would still be blurry, maybe even more blurry than before, so I kept them shut. And even if I had wanted to I probably wouldn’t have had the chance, because I quickly hit the ground and was plunged into darkness.

***

It was the strangest dream I had ever had. I was lying in a cold, hard bed unlike my own. Unfamiliar voices surrounded me, but I could not see their faces. Mute colors blended into each other. They created blurred images I couldn’t figure out, regardless of how long I stared at them. The pain I felt was frightening. I had never experienced pain like this in a dream before.

I lay perfectly still in my bed and listened to the voices around me. I wondered what others were doing, what was going on in my own dream. It wouldn’t matter when I woke up though, so I focused my attention elsewhere.

I had read about dreams like this before, where people sometimes became aware of the fact that they were dreaming. When I saw it I read those few sentences over and over again, I was so fascinated by the concept. I could do anything I wanted! I decided then that if it ever happened to me, I would do something amazing, like flying—something I wouldn’t have the courage to do in real life.

Although it was the first thing that had come to mind when I realized that I was dreaming, it was the last thing I wanted to do. It was the perfect opportunity though, and I tried to convince myself that leaving the bed was safe, because I knew that I would regret not doing so later.

But nothing, not even that, could force me out of my bed. I didn’t care about how uncomfortable it was; it was safer than wherever I would end up flying, and most likely falling.

Besides, I wanted to wake up. The pain had not subsided; if anything, it was getting worse. I wasn’t worried yet, for I was confident that the pain would disappear when I woke up.

Those thoughts and feelings were soon pushed to the back of my mind, though. I started noticing things I hadn’t just minutes ago. The thick scent of cleaners and in the air and the voices around me. I couldn’t focus on anything else once I heard parts of some conversations clearly. There was so much going on in my own dream, and I didn’t even know about it. I found that amazing.

Most of the conversations involved a game of Quidditch, and then some sort of fall. I couldn’t hear entire conversations, though. Many people were talking, and it had just recently gotten noisier. It was hard to tell for sure what I was seeing, but I thought that a large group of students was passing by outside the room I was in.

“Rose!� a familiar voice eventually shouted. Someone, probably that same person, approached me. The person’s footsteps against the floor were loud. They wouldn’t have been that loud against the soft carpet of my dormitory.

At first it seemed strange that I wasn’t in my own bed, considering I was sleeping, but then I realized that dreams can take place anywhere. It was a nice thought because I had made sense of at least one thing in this strange dream.

I still didn’t know where I was, though, so I was far from content. Hoping whoever had just called my name would have some answers, I listened to her as she began speaking.

“Are you alright? The nurse said that you were injured pretty badly, and she fixed your broken arm but I was still so worried about you!�

I recognized the voice as Lily’s. I didn’t hear the voices of any of my other family members, which seemed strange to me. My family was usually inseparable. But then again, it was a dream. I kept having to remind myself of that.

For some reason, I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to speak. I thought of what little I could remember of my past dreams, and I had spoken before. But something about this dream was making me doubt that.

I told myself that I should at least try to talk if I wasn’t going to try flying. Otherwise, I’d never know what would have happened had I spoken, and I’d regret it, just like not flying. I didn’t think I’d forget this dream anytime soon.

Before I could scare myself anymore, I asked, “What happened?� I was relieved to hear that my voice sounded like it normally did.

There was a long, awkward silence, and after a while I wondered if she was going to answer me at all. I didn’t think she had left, though. I would have heard her if she did. Finally she started talking, although very slowly.

“Do you remember the Quidditch game earlier today?�

It took a few minutes, but eventually vague memories of the morning’s events came to me. I nodded slowly.

“Do you remember falling?�

I shook my head, confused but glad she had told me. It cleared up some things, in a way. However, it also confirmed that I was either not dreaming, or had been dreaming for a long time and had already forgotten parts of my dream. I preferred to think that the latter was true.

Lily went on to explain that I had almost caught the Snitch. I was hit by a Bludger though, and fell, and that ended the game immediately. I was rushed to the hospital.

I was shocked at first, although I probably shouldn’t have been. What she was saying made sense.

Just when I had gotten over the shock, however, and was able to listen to her more clearly, she explained that I was rushed to the hospital. That worried me.

Even though it was probably stupid of me, I couldn’t help but ask, “So I’m in the Hospital Wing now?�

“Yes,� Lily said a minute later.

I should have known sooner. Now that she told me, it made perfect sense.

I didn’t know what to say next, so I didn’t say anything. Lily didn’t either. I let my mind wander, but of course, all I was able to think about was what Lily had just said. After a while I realized that it wasn’t as scary as it sounded at first. Lily had said that my arm was broken, but it had been healed, so I didn’t see why I wouldn’t be able to go home the next day.

My gaze shifted from place to place around the room as I thought about these things. I didn’t recognize the room as the Hospital Wing, and I couldn’t make out any of the objects or people in the room. I only saw their blurry silhouettes in faint colors.

Lily hadn’t said anything about this to me. I wasn’t sure at first if I wanted to tell her about it. While I was deciding whether or not I wanted to tell her at all—I kept changing my mind—she spoke again.

“Hugo, Albus and James are in the Great Hall. It’s dinnertime. I don’t know what they’ll do afterward, probably just go back to the Common Room. But I talked to the nurse, and she said that you’ll have to stay here overnight, but you’ll be able to go home with us tomorrow.�

I nodded, but stopped quickly. It hurt my neck too much.

Lily began speaking again. “So…I think I’m going to go now, if you don’t mind. I need to get ready for tomorrow. But if you want me to stay…�

I knew that I had to say something then. I’d have to eventually, and if I put if off any longer it could ruin our holiday plans. So I began speaking, not letting myself think about what I was saying.

“Lily? I just have one more question.� There was no turning back now.

“Okay…� She drifted off, as if she had more to say. She didn’t say anything else though, so I continued.

“Did the nurse say anything about my vision? Everything looks really strange…I can’t really see anything clearly.�

Lily didn’t say anything for a long time. I wondered what she was thinking, nervous as I waited for her to speak.
When eventually did, but much more quietly and much slower than usual. “No,� she said, “she probably didn’t know about it. But I’ll go to the library now. I should be able to find something useful.�

“Okay,� I said, and she took off immediately.

I thought about sleeping while I waited for Lily to return. It had definitely been a long, hard day, even if I had just woken up. But I didn’t feel tired. I was too nervous about what Lily would find, what she would say to me when she came back.

I tried to tell myself that there was no reason to feel nervous. I was sure that, like the broken arm, there was a logical explanation as to why this was happening. Better yet, it might be temporary—maybe I would be able to see normally when I woke up in the morning, and I would be able to celebrate Christmas with my family like normal. I didn’t want to get my hopes up about that, though.

But even if I had to get a potion made, or had to be examined by the Madam Pomfrey and various other nurses, it would be alright as long as we knew what was happening, and I didn’t think it was possible that no one would know what caused this strange condition.

I’m not sure how much time passed before she returned, but that wasn’t what mattered to me. What was important that was we were one step closer to solving the problem.

Lily began talking as soon as she stopped running. Her voice was loud, and I thought that she was closer than before.

“I didn’t find much, there were a few books about vision and such but they didn’t help and only one came even close to explaining what had happened to you but it was talking about blindness and I don’t think that could be it, could it?�

She said that all very quickly, in one breath. She stopped abruptly, probably to look through the book. While she was doing so I said, “I can’t be blind. I’ve never heard of it happening to wizards.�

“That’s what I thought, but there’s no other explanation.� After another pause she said, “This book isn’t helping much. I’d show it to you, but…� she trailed off, and I knew that at that moment we were thinking about the same thing. I really wished that she could give me the book; I used to help her with her homework that way all the time. It was hard to think that I may not be able to help her the same way again.

“I should really just return this book now, I don’t need it anymore.� She ran off again, but before she left the room I whispered, “Lily?�

She responded quickly. “Yes, Rose?�

“Don’t tell anybody about this, okay? Because if we tell everybody but the problems solved in just a few days, we’ll have worried them for nothing. It can’t be permanent.�

“But if…� Lily began, but then stopped, and started again with a new thought. “Okay.� Before she left for the last time that night, she said, “Well, see you tomorrow.�

I told myself that there was no reason to feel angry at her for what she just said, but I still sounded very angry as I said, “Don’t say that again, Lily.� She probably didn’t hear me, though; I spoke fairly softly and I think she had already left the room.

Magic had done nothing but help me when I was younger. My family constantly used it in front of me and my brother and cousins, and it helped everyone with everything from meals to sickness. I couldn’t imagine living without it. Because of this, I was surprised that Lily couldn’t find any information on my strange condition in any book. I had never experienced anything before that couldn’t be easily cured by a simple spell or potion.

The nurse had given me several potions that were supposed to heal certain injuries and ease my pain. I still didn’t sleep well in the hospital. I woke up after only a few hours of fitful sleep. The room was light enough, but it seemed as if I was alone.

I really needed to talk to the nurse, but I wasn’t sure I was allowed to leave the Hospital Wing and search for her. So as I lay in bed waiting for her, I let my mind wander.

I knew immediately that this wouldn’t be good, but there was nothing I could do about it. I was definitely worried about certain things, but at first I was able to distract myself, in a way, with simpler, happier thoughts.

I thought about the upcoming Christmas and the family I was about to visit to celebrate it. My grandparents were probably excitedly preparing for the occasion, hanging up decorations and baking treats for us. Those thoughts made me happy. They also gave me simpler things to ponder. I was perfectly content to think about what desserts they were making, and what games I would play with my family.

I wasn’t surprised, however, when even these thoughts quickly became complicated and unpleasant. Thinking about going to see my family made me think about how my cousins were probably waiting for the train with the rest of the school. They might have been wondering if I was okay, or maybe Lily had already told them everything. I wasn’t sure I liked the idea of everybody knowing what had happened before I had a chance to tell them.

I didn’t know what time it was, but the train to King’s Cross was going to be departing soon, I was sure of it. I would have to leave soon, but I couldn’t until I checked out with the nurse.

I was having a hard time focusing my gaze on any one object in the room, or even making out more than the most basic shapes. I figured that I would notice if someone or something was moving, though, so I decided to just wait.

I did eventually notice someone walk across the room, but it wasn’t until I began forming other plans to get out of the Hospital Wing and to the train station before the train left. Within seconds of seeing who I hoped and assumed was the nurse, I called her name.

I immediately heard loud footsteps against the tile floor again, just as I had the day before, as well as heavy breathing. The entire staff must have been under a lot of stress. They always were on days like those.

I didn’t waste any time. As soon as the footsteps stopped she launched into an explanation of why she was late and an apology, but I interrupted her. I said, “I have plans to visit my family for Christmas, and I heard that I would be able to leave today, so I was wondering if I could check out…�

She cut me off. “Yes, of course, just leave now.� I jumped out of bed, and quickly realized that I shouldn’t have. I felt dizzy, and suddenly I could see even less. I didn’t have time to worry about that, though.

I usually didn’t have to think too carefully about where I was going within the walls of the school. It was my third year at Hogwarts, long enough for me to have learned how to navigate the complicated hallways. But when I started walking to my dormitory that day, I became nervous. I felt like I had no choice but to move more slowly.

The Common Room and dormitories were empty by the time I reached them. I clumsily changed into clean clothes as fast as I could, and found my bags, suddenly glad that I had packed earlier than everyone else. I grabbed all the bags I could find, not wanting to look for the others I knew I was leaving behind. I figured that my family would be able to provide me with whatever I was forgetting.

I had to walk more quickly to the train station than I had run to my dormitory. It was suddenly very noisy downstairs, possible a sign that the train had arrived and the students were scrambling to get on it.

I walked as fast as I could and was relieved to see that when I arrived downstairs, there was still a huge group of students. It wasn’t all good, though. I could barely make out the faces of even the students closest to me. Everyone was just one blurry mass of color. There was no way I’d be able to find my family.

The only think I could think to do was shout, so that’s what I did, even though the chances that they would hear me were slim. But it was all I could do.

“Lily! James! Hugo! Albus!� No response. I called Lily’s name a few more times. She was most likely to be searching for me.

Soon, I heard her voice. “Rose! Stay where you are!�

I was glad that she had found me, but was not much more relaxed by it. I could not see her among the crowd. I imagined that she was moving through it to find me, but then again, everyone was moving about as they tried to find their family and friends.

I heard her voice calling my name again. She shouted it several times, and then a few seconds later exclaimed, “I see you! Hold out your hand!�

I did as she said, glad that even if I couldn’t see her, she could see me. I usually wouldn’t have been satisfied with this, but at that point, it was the best possible solution.

When I finally felt her cold hand against mine, I held on to it tightly and let her pull me through the crowd. At first I was worried about running into the many people surrounding us, but Lily seemed to be maneuvering us through the crowds fairly well.

I stopped when she stopped. But even by then I only had a vague idea of where I was. I figured that we were near our brothers, though.

That should have been a comforting thought. I had definitely always enjoyed thinking about visiting my family for the holidays in the past, and enjoyed being able to see my brother and cousins every day at school. But that day, those thoughts brought new worries.

Just seconds later, as if reading my mind, Lily said, “I didn’t tell them about what happened last night. They only know what the rest of the school knows.�

“What’s that?� I asked, even though part of me didn’t want to know how exaggerated the stories had become.

“Not much, don’t worry…the rumors haven’t been too exaggerated, everyone was there after all…� I wasn’t sure whether to feel comforted or embarrassed by this, “…they just like to talk about how you fell from such a great distance. I’m sure they’ll have forgotten by the time we get back, though.�

I could only hope that all the consequences were that temporary, easily forgotten after two short weeks.
***
“I hope we get to go ice skating this year, don’t you?� Lily asked, jerking me out of my state of half-sleep. It was one of many questions she had asked me in the half hour we had been on the train.

“Yeah, that would be fun if you could,� I said as I closed my eyes and tried to make myself comfortable enough in my seat to fall asleep.

“Yeah,� she agreed. A few minutes later, she asked, “Do you think grandma’s gonna make cookies?�

I nodded. “I think my mom said she was going to. And grandma always makes cookies.� I didn’t bother opening my eyes when I said this.

“Cool,� Lily said. I was expecting her to say more, and relaxed several minutes later when I realized that she probably wasn’t going to.

I should have known that I wasn’t totally safe. I hadn’t seen James, Hugo, or Albus all day, and it only made sense that they were looking for me. Having been unable to fall asleep, I immediately opened my eyes when someone sat next to me. Albus was close enough that I recognized him relatively quickly.

“Hi,� I said, and immediately began worrying about what he would think about my obvious lack of enthusiasm.

He immediately launched into a series of questions. “Are you okay, Rose? Really, you can tell me. I saw you fall, but I didn’t get a chance to see you after that…did the nurse help? What did she say?�

I really couldn’t blame him for his what he was doing. I was just as curious to know these things, as well.

“I don’t know what’s going on. I’m okay though, I think.�

“Are you sure? I mean, that was a pretty bad fall and all.�

“I’ll be fine, okay? I just need to rest now,� I said as I leaned my head against the side of the train.

“But you were in the Hospital Wing all night. The nurse must have told you something!�

“She didn’t, Albus. Just leave me alone, okay? I want to sleep now.� I ended up sounding much stronger than I had meant to, and immediately regretted it.

Nothing Albus said was wrong, and it was clear that he was truly worried. He was actually being pretty respectful about it; he wasn’t nearly as nosy as James would have been. What I said was all my fault, but there was nothing I could do about it once I said it.

“Okay,� he whispered, “I’ll see you later. Sorry�. He left the cart quickly, without another word. I considered calling his name, asking him to come back and talk, but even if he could hear me, I knew he wouldn’t want to talk to me again.

I turned to face Lily. Her head shot down towards the magazine in her lap, which she feigned a sudden interest in.

I watched her for a few minutes as she went out of her way to avoid talking to me, or even looking at me. I listened to the people in other carts, eagerly talking about their plans for the break. They weren’t worried about what their latest fall had done to them; they probably didn’t even remember the last time they fell. They were worried about their Arithmancy exam and whether their Christmas dinner would actually be peaceful, things similar to what I was worried about just a few days ago.

I could still be worrying about that, and nothing else, if I hadn’t joined the Quidditch team, I thought. And to make everything worse, I realized that if I hadn’t joined the Quidditch team, I would have more time to study and I wouldn’t have to worry so much about how I was doing in school.

“Lily, do you think it was a mistake for me to join the Quidditch team?�

Without looking up from her magazine, she said, “I don’t know, maybe.� I was surprised by how cold her voice sounded.

“Lily, I really am sorry. Let’s not make the trip any more stressful than we need to. Please?�

She just kept reading her magazine for another minute. Eventually, she responded with a brief, “Okay�. I could tell she just wanted me to leave her alone, though.

***

“Rose, are you listening? Hello?� While he was talking, I was distracted by the familiar signs at King’s Cross. I couldn’t read the small letters on them, but I still thought I knew what each one said because I had been here many times now.

“Yeah,� I said, but I still wasn’t paying much attention to him. I didn’t need to listen to know what he was doing.

“Did you hear what I just told everyone? Do you know where we’re gonna hide?�

I nodded my head, still more interested in the train station than what James had to say. Even though I hadn’t heard him, I knew that we were about to hide behind Platform 9 where we would hide for a while as our family looked for us. This was because James, being a grand total of one year older than me, always put himself in charge of all of us as we navigated King’s Cross. He did so with the hope of pulling a prank on our parents, usually by just telling them we would be in one place and then hiding in another.

Waiting behind the platform, I was glad upon the realization that I was not the only one who was tired and annoyed then; the only one who was talking was James. He didn’t stop babbling about anything and everything until our parents greeted us with warm smiles and hugs, and even then, he kept talking.

“But…you aren’t supposed to meet us here!� James cried as our grandma embraced him.

“We know, but when we didn’t see you guys there we decided to come looking for you.� This prompted more whining from James.

Even if Hogwarts didn’t send owls to the parents before break telling them where we’d be, I think my family still would have figured out by now that there’s no reason for us to meet them at Platform 3.

***

Our first dinner together during Christmas vacation used to be one of the highlights of my vacation. There was something about seeing each other for the first time in months, laughing over the stories we had been saving and eating the snacks grandma had prepared just for this occasion. It was almost as good as the actual Christmas dinner.

I couldn’t bring myself to say much while we ate, though. I answered my family’s questions about school and Quidditch, and tried to sound enthusiastic. But mostly I just listened to what everyone else said. Hugo talked about his Care of Magical Creatures class, and Lily shared stories about her friends. I was glad that James had stopped complaining.

After dinner, I volunteered to help my mom wash the dishes. Usually it was the last thing I wanted to do, especially when I had so much catching up to do with my family, but I knew I had to talk to her eventually about my strange new illness, and it would be best to do it when we were alone.

In the past, I had always been glad that washing the dishes was such a quick and easy chore with the help of magic, even though I didn’t use it when I dried them. At least the job didn’t require accuracy; it was becoming increasingly harder to see exactly where the dishes were. That night was the first time I wished the task was more time-consuming. Even after carefully considering what I would say during dinner, I couldn’t bring myself to start the conversation, even though I knew my time was limited.

As my mom was handing me one of the last few dishes that needed drying, she asked, “Are you okay, Rose? You look so…tired.�

I knew then that no matter what either of us said, we both knew what was going on. Or at least, what we thought was going on, no matter how much we would try to deny it in the coming weeks.

I nodded slowly. “I’ll be okay. I just fell during the last Quidditch game, is all.�

I knew she was looking at me, even though I wasn’t watching her; I couldn’t afford to look at anything but my dishes. I braced myself for what I was sure was about to come: a series of questions, a careful examination, and then, hopefully, a calming conclusion. I had never completely appreciated my mother for her logic and quick thinking until then.

Because of this, I was surprised when she did none of that. Instead, she asked one simple question: “Would you like to see a Healer before you go back to school?�

I didn’t look at her as I responded with a simple, “Yes�.