‘Did we remember to bring the diapers? I’m not entirely sure we did. Perhaps we should turn back to look, Draco?’

‘I can assure you, even in the odd case that you managed to forget anything at all - after checking and double checking for close to an hour - Mother does have house-elves that are more than capable of procuring a diaper.’

‘Oh, I suppose you’re right. I’m just worried, that’s all. It’s the first time Alva will be away from us for the day…’

‘It’s the first day we’ll be away from Alva, is more like it. Mother might seem strict, but leave her alone in a room with an infant for more than five seconds, and the woman will be making silly faces and saying peek-a-boo.’

‘Really? I can’t possibly imagine Narcissa doing that.’

‘There’s no reason to giggle, Ginny. Why would she not, especially with her only grandchild?’

‘Sorry. I just got this picture in my head… never mind. If you can be a stay-at home dad, I guess your mother can crawl around on the floor saying peek-a-boo as well.’

‘I did not say she crawled around on the floor.’

‘No, I suppose you didn’t. Anyway, do you think it’s warm enough for Alva? It’s fairly chilly today, and I don’t want her to catch a cold.’

‘It’s warm enough. Calm down, Ginny. The pushchair does have a few built-in spells, you know. It would be exactly the right temperature for Alva even if we decided on taking a stroll to the Arctic. And stop tickling me; we’re in public!’

‘Sorry. Besides, no one is looking at us.’

‘You don’t sound sorry at all. Tickle me all you want when we get home. Just remember we have a family name to uphold.’

‘Yes, yes. The Malfoy name, and all that. I still can’t believe you actually want people to find you intimidating, Draco.’

‘It saves me a lot of trouble.’

‘So… you wouldn’t exactly want me to tell my colleagues I’m returning to work two days a week because you’re home changing diapers and talking to our baby in Italian?’

‘You know I wouldn’t. Why did I marry a woman who likes to tease me, anyway? And how do I really put up with those strange jokes of yours?’

‘Hey! Behave, or I’ll tickle you again, public or not public. You married me because you love me, remember?’

‘Oh, I knew I had an excellent reason for marrying you. Malfoys never do anything without a reason, after all. And, despite your best efforts, I’m not changing her diapers. We have a house-elf who’s more than capable of doing that.’

‘Oh, honestly! You’re too delicate for your own good. The way you react to one little dirty diaper, Draco… one should imagine it was poisonous.’

‘Delicate? I just happen not to like the smell of… it! It’s a shock that someone so pretty can manage to smell that bad. Are you sure Alva is comfortable, by the way?’

‘Who’s all concerned now, Draco?’

‘I’m being responsible.’

‘I’ll remember that the next time you tease me about fussing.’

‘I’m sure I’m having a bad influence on you, Ginny. It’s so very Slytherin to use my own words against me.’

‘Strangely enough, I can live with that. Oh, look, I think she’s waking up.’

‘Let me lift her out, then. Can’t be bored and all alone in the pushchair if you’re awake, can you, Alva? Much better to be up.’

‘Now you’re not worried about public appearance, Draco?’

‘If anyone comments, I’ll hex them. That Bat-Boggey Hex you used on me last week was quite effective.’

‘Teaches you to not wake your wife up first ting in the morning after Alva kept her up all night, doesn’t it?’

‘I’m a slow learner. Besides, I demand a kiss before I go to work, hex or no hex. Yes, can you say ‘hex,’ Alva?’

‘She’s four months old, Draco. She won’t be talking today. And I most certainly don’t want to have to tell someone that my daughter’s first word was ‘hex’!’

‘Will ‘Bat-Boggey’ do better? How about something Latin? The Hogwarts school motto, perhaps? Or better yet, the Malfoy family motto?’

‘What’s wrong with a simple ‘Mummy’ or ‘Daddy’?’

‘She’s a Malfoy! People expect something unusual. How impressed will people be to hear that even the latest Malfoy’s first word was ‘Daddy’?’

‘I expect that would surprise people, actually, Draco. And what is the Malfoy family motto, anyway? Every time you mention it, you present me with some tall tale. By now, I think I’ve heard twenty different versions.’

‘It would surprise people, wouldn’t it? Okay. Can you say ‘Mummy,’ then, Alva? Did I hear a word?’

‘She gurgled, Draco. You’re worse than my mum, the way you behave.’

‘Oh, have it your way then, Ginny. Look, Alva, Mum is laughing at me. And the Malfoy family motto is something highly inappropriate about purity of blood. I won’t actually say it.’

‘Ugh. It had to be, didn’t it? Your family really has the most dishonourable past.’

‘Our family, you must mean? Last time I checked, you were a Malfoy, too, wife.’

‘There’s that smirk again. I hope Alva won’t be able to smirk like that.’

‘She has your red hair; I’m sure she’ll be as pretty as her mother. Won’t you, Alva? Just look at that face - no one can possibly resist those dimples.’

‘You certainly cannot! I bet she’ll wrap her father around her little finger when she gets older. She already does, by the way.’

‘Did you hear that, Alva? Apparently I’m too soft.’

‘At least you don’t do baby-talk, I’ll give you that. Did you tell your mother that I’m going back to work part-time?’

‘No. She had her hopes up that you’d be a proper Malfoy wife now that you’re a mum, you know. She’ll not be particularly pleased to learn you’re not planning on staying at home. She was upset enough when we told her you’d be continuing to play for the Harpix’s after our marriage. When we tell her you’re going back to your job as a Quidditch reporter, she won’t be understanding.’

‘Why am I not surprised? You could have told her, you know. She dotes upon you.’

‘Don’t worry, I have a plan. I’ll hand her Alva first and tell her later. Even Narcissa can’t do her intimidating voice with a child in her arms.’

‘How very Slytherin of you, Draco. Do we turn to the right here, or are we going down that lane?’

‘We’re going down that lane. Oh no! I think someone has dirtied their diaper. Didn’t you, Alva?’

‘Gives you a chance to change a diaper, doesn’t it, Draco? No house-elf around now.’

‘You just love rubbing it in. I am perfectly able to change diapers, you know. And as it’s another hour till we get there, I’d probably better change it, too. Don’t want you to get a sore tush, do we, Alva?’

‘Let me hold her, then. You do that conjuring spell so much better than I do. Come to Mum, Alva. Look at Dad. He’s making objects appear again. Draco, what will you do if Alva isn’t magical?’

‘What? A Squib? Seriously, Ginny, that’s a completely unfounded assumption. Both our families have been magical for generations. But if she was - I’d hide her in the basement out of shame, obviously. Ouch! Was that a stinging hex? You know I’m only joking! What sort of example does that set for our daughter, hexing people all the time?’

‘You had it coming. Look at Dad, Alva, he’s trying to use his raised eyebrow to make me behave. It would work better if I didn’t find it so adorable.’

‘Adorable? Do you want to change that diaper yourself? The provisional changing room is ready, by the way.’

‘Not at all. Here’s your daughter. It’s supposed to strengthen the bond, doing things like this. I’ll just watch, for a change.’

’Ugh. This is disgusting. I’m quite sure my changing diapers will not bring us closer together, Alva. Your mother clearly is delusional. Don’t get me wrong – it’s a good kind of delusional, but there is a reason why house-elves normally do this. How can someone so pretty smell so bad? Yes, you’re pretty, little Alva. Yes, you are. Oh, let me tickle that belly. I love to hear you giggle. It might even be worth the smell. Oh, I’ll kiss the belly, too.’

‘This really is dignified of you, Draco.’

‘Tease if you like. I can tell by that smile that you’re quite pleased.’

‘You know I am. It’s for reasons like this that I love you. People actually assume you must be bad with children, you know. My mum warned me you’d be no help once Alva was born.’

‘Why? It’s our first child. Of course I’m doting on her. Mind you – we’re not having seven children, or anything close to that. But I wouldn’t mind one more, in a few years.’

‘One more, hmm? And you just assume I won’t want four or five?’

‘Yes.’

‘You really are infuriating. Let me take her so you can vanish this stuff again. Oh, for the sake of Merlin, Draco. How many times are you going to kiss her belly?’

‘Calm, wife. We’ll get where we’re going eventually. Go to Mum, Alva. I’m just going to clean up after myself. Can’t leave all this standing around in the forest, even if it is on Malfoy ground and no Muggles ever walk past. Would you really want four or five children, Ginny?’

‘I don’t really know. If they are as cute as Alva, that would work fine. But imagine a little miniature Draco running around… I’m sure you were a menace as a child.’

‘I was nothing of the sort, Ginny. I remember myself as an amiable child.’

‘Right…’

‘Trusting, are you not? Just ask my mother, I’m sure she’ll agree.’

‘Yes. I’m sure Narcissa would tell me you were a positive angel. I’m just not so sure she’s the best source. Will you really be okay being home with Alva two days a week? My mother nearly fainted when I told her.’

‘Molly nearly fainted? Why didn’t you tell her when I was there? You claim my mother is intimidating, but that look Molly sends me would scare anyone.’

‘She did raise six sons. Of course she knows how to be intimidating.’

‘And we’ll do just fine, Ginny. Alva agrees with me. Don’t you, Alva? Yes you do. See, Ginny? She’s smiling. We’ll do fine. I’ve told you this a fair few times already. Go back to work; the two of us will manage just great. I might have to buy her a broom soon. She’s four months, after all.’

‘Funny. We’re here, by the way. I see the house through the trees ahead.’

‘Finally. I never thought we’d make it. Walking all this way really isn’t practical.’

‘You’ll just have to do what Ron did, then, and learn how to drive a car.’

‘One of those Muggle contraptions? I’m sure they’re not at all safe. They look life-endangering.’

‘You could always use a few spells to reinforce it, Draco. We’d get places faster, anyway.’

‘I’ll think about it, then. But that you’re really not telling anyone! And stop laughing.’

‘I’ll consider it. And I’m just laughing because I was trying to imagine Lucius’ reaction to you driving a car.’

‘Merlin! He wouldn’t be pleased.’

‘I think I saw someone lurking behind that bush!’

‘It’s probably a reporter, Ginny. Let me.’

‘Are you not going to look to see who it is first?’

‘No. Family motto - stun first, ask questions later. Stupefy!’