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Half four and still no sleep. I knew there’d be some late nights in seventh-year, but I didn’t think this is what was meant.

It’s been a little over an hour since Lily returned to her dormitory to attempt sleep, but I’m nowhere near as ready. In fact, I’m even less ready than before.

It was an interesting conversation we had. It felt like it wanted to go deeper, at least to me it did, but all we really got to was bras and homework. And being unable to sleep.

The thought still makes me grin at the prank we pulled on the girls. Back at the end of fifth year Sirius and I figured a way into the girls’ dormitories. Then the four of us hatched a plan to sneak up and ‘borrow’ a bra to clothe a statue in the dungeons.

The look on everyone’s faces when they went down to Potions - especially the girls from whose dormitory we were in! They knew it was us, but made some ridiculous pact not to reveal the owner. That really got Sirius going. It was all he would talk about for weeks, trying to reason his way to the answer.

I have my own reasons for thinking it was Lily’s, mostly because we were stupid. One of the last warm days in the autumn of our sixth year was spent outside. For some reason we decided it would be pretty funny if we dunked some people in the lake to cool down, Lily being one of them. Too bad she was wearing a white blouse and we could see through it - right down to a similar pink and lacy bra of the same size.

Am I actually thinking of that? I have to shake my head to clear the thought, only I can never seem to shake Lily out of my head.

With nothing better to do, I stare at the fire which has burnt down to the embers. The little flickers of light in the coals are hypnotizing. I’m not sure how long I stare, but I’m oblivious to everything until I feel the cushion next to me sink as a person sits down. It’s Sirius.

“Prongs, what are you doing up so early?� he asks me, yawning and stealing the blanket I’d Conjured earlier to keep himself warm.

I suppose he would think that having slept through the night. I correct him and say, “More like staying up late.�

Sirius looks at me appraisingly, probably judging how best to answer. Not many people know that about him or have seen that side of him. He really can be caring and thoughtful behind his humorous and sometimes reckless ways.

He must have an idea why I’d still be up because he asks in all sincerity, “You want to talk about it?�

He’s the first one I go to with my Lily problems. I sigh, unsure where to begin and tell him with a shrug, “Couldn’t sleep.�

“I gathered as much,� he says. “Care to explain why not?�

He knows. He just wants me to say it. So I tell him how I came down hours ago, then how Lily came and what we talked about before she went back up. He listens carefully, just letting me speak. That’s something else people don’t know about him - he can be a good listener.

“So you definitely still fancy her,� he states. There’s no question about it. “But what I want to know is why. I know you’ve said before it’s because she was the only one to ever say no, and I get that she’s really smart and bloody gorgeous. Is that it, though, because I can’t see you falling this hard over such shallow reasons.�

There’s a sobering thought - do I like Lily for reasons that are purely shallow? Am I really that kind of a person? What would my parents think of that?

Realizing what my silence meant, Sirius starts to say, “Then what makes her so special? Don’t take this the wrong way, mate, but you have no business being with her if you don’t know the answer.�

“Sirius, I hated it when we fought, when she’d look at me and I’d only find disappointment in her eyes, or when she turned me down time after time. I wanted her to see that I’m not what she thought I was - that I was so much more.�

Nodding, he says, “And she does. The two of you are finally friends now.�

“Yeah, and now I know her so much better and it only leaves me wanting to find out more. I know that she bites her lower lip when she’s thinking hard about something and that she hates injustice. She has a fantastic sense of humour and isn’t afraid to laugh. Sirius, I would pay to make her happy all the time so she could laugh all she wanted.

“She’s confident in who she is and what she looks like, and she has no idea how bloody attractive those qualities are! And while she’s not tall, she doesn’t let anyone intimidate her and doesn’t want anyone to fight her battles for her. Do you know how long it’s taken me to realize I don’t want to fight for her either but would rather fight alongside her? As a team. As equals.

“I like how she doesn’t support my favourite Quidditch team. I honestly don’t care because it means we can have a friendly competition without any meanness involved.

“She is her own, confident person and I want to be a part of that. She’s absolutely nothing like those dolts I’ve dated before and it’s wonderful!�

Sirius is unsuccessfully holding back a grin. In only a few minutes he’s managed to extract some sort of confession from me of the depth of my devotion to a girl who had only just been a challenge, smart, and pretty two minutes ago.

I don’t regret saying any of it. I probably would have told him some time anyway.

“I hate to break it to you, but I think it’s more than just a crush,� he finally responds. “You’re likely tired of hearing it, but just wait it out a little longer. She’s definitely warmed up to you already and just needs a bit more time to sort out her feelings. If you recall, it wasn’t too long ago you were a bullying toerag. Now look at you - you’re Head Boy!�

This cheers me up a bit, but only marginally. I’ve never been known for my patience and I’ve been waiting a long time.

Sirius accepts my silence this time. We’ve been friends long enough to know when to give each other space.

I could wait for Lily. I would always wait. There doesn’t seem to be anyone else for me. Maybe it’s the reality of the outside world that’s sped up this process. Wars could do that, creating an increased sense of urgency.

But would she ever come around? Maybe that’s the real reason I can’t sleep. I’m worried she’ll never want anything more than the close friendship we’ve already developed. Would I ever be able to move on, or would I still wait?

“Sirius,� I say hesitantly. Should I even ask him? “What if Lily doesn’t come around?�

“She will,� he tells me encouragingly.

“But just say she doesn’t,� I argue. “What then? I don’t think I could handle it if that happened.�

He looks at me and says, “I have no doubt she cares for you, James. You just need to be patient a little longer - I’m sure of it.�

How can he be so certain? I ask him, “Do you know something I don’t?�

Sirius furrows his brows while he thinks. I’m not quite sure if he’s holding something back or what. They seem to have their own special friendship, but I know he would never go too far knowing my feelings for her. Plus he’s not one to stay tied down for too long.

“Sirius?� He’s been silent for too long now.

“James, I think you should ask her to Hogsmeade. She’s only going with us and I don’t think any of us would mind if the two of you blow us off, to be quite honest,� he tells me.

“But that’s only in a few hours!� I cry. “That’s not enough time!�

“I think she rather likes your spontaneity, Prongs, just like how you enjoy her fiery mood,� he says to me with a grin. Trust him to find the silver lining.

I think about this suggestion. I could take her to the village later. There wouldn’t be much of a plan, but then again I’ve never been good at sticking to rules. Winging it’s more my style. And there wouldn’t be much time to worry. It could work - she just has to agree to go with me.

Grinning, I look at Sirius and say, “Padfoot, I believe you’re right.�

“‘Course I am. Now prepare yourself because I imagine the door up in the girls’ dormitory I heard close was her coming down to either collect this book or hope you’re still down here to speak with,� he says, holding up the book Lily had brought down with her earlier and must have left behind.

That’s not enough time to mentally prepare. I thought I’d at least have until breakfast, but apparently not. There’s no use trying to flatten my hair. She knows I’ve been here all night anyway, and I imagine she didn’t get any sleep either, no matter how hard she tried.

Sirius looks at me encouragingly and gives me the thumbs up. Without warning he shoots off of the sofa and strolls over to the bottom of the stairs to the girls’ dormitory.

“Dahling, how are you? It’s simply been too long,� he says to Lily in a drawl with his arms open for a hug. I can’t help but roll my eyes at his pompous accent. He thinks it’s funny and none of us want to break it to him it got old ages ago.

“You’re too kind, dahling, too kind,� she replies in the same accent, kissing both his cheeks. Honestly, the pair of them. Get those two together and you never know what you’re in for. I thought I was the immature one. And aren’t I his best mate?

“Lighten up, Prongs, it’s Saturday,� Sirius tells me. He turns to Lily and adds, “You’d think he didn’t get any sleep or something.�

Sirius resumes his spot on the sofa and Lily is forced to sit in between us. She doesn’t seem to mind, though, but he won’t share the blanket and she argues she’s cold too. The tug-of-war doesn’t last long and it’s shared between them, our quietness now filling up the common room.

I know he’s probably faking it, but Sirius has fallen asleep. He likely figures that it would be obvious if he just left, which it would, but listening in on what should be a private conversation isn’t much better, even if he knows I would tell him anyway.

“I see you still couldn’t sleep,� Lily says casually, careful not to ‘wake’ Sirius.

“Nope. No luck either?� I ask, to which she shakes her head. “You could try reading again,� I suggest, handing her the book she forgot earlier.

“I think writing that Herbology essay might be a better use of my time,� she replies, giving me a rueful smile. She takes the book anyway and sets it in her lap.

“As long as you take a break and join us in Hogsmeade,� I tell her. There’s nothing too personal in saying us - nothing implied.

“Oh, you mean to Zonko’s?�

“And Honeyduke’s.�

“Then for butterbeers.�

“But never -�

“To Puddifoot’s,� she answers, wrinkling her nose and sticking out her tongue.

We’ve always done the same thing, go to the same places, and get the same things. It’s predictable now, right down to poking fun at the unfortunate tea shop. Only Sirius has been bold enough to go there and promptly warned us against going.

“You know, we could always try changing things up,� she suggests.

“What - like check out the Shrieking Shack?� I ask.

“They say it’s haunted,� she says, her eyes glinting. She found out officially last year about Remus’ furry little problem, though I suspect she knew sooner, so it’s a joke when any of us who actually know hear of the haunted nature of the house. I haven’t told her about our part during his monthly transformations.

“You shouldn’t go and believe everything you hear,� I say, pretending to be serious. She shoves me with her shoulder and we can’t help but chuckle.

Perhaps things have changed and I should ask her out. Maybe she’ll say yes. I highly doubt she’d say no again, not when we’re flirting so hard. Both of us. As in she, Lily Evans, is flirting with me, James Potter, the guy she’d turn down in favour of the giant squid. Maybe I should just take the plunge.

“You’re a piece of work. Did you know that?� she says, shaking her head.

“Is that a compliment or . . .?� Really, it could be taken both ways, but she just shoves me again. I sputter a little, attempting to get an answer, but it only makes her laugh.

“Fine,� I say, and I steal the blanket from her which she reaches over to try and grab.

“Hey!� cries Sirius, ‘awoken’ by the loss of warmth. He gets up and goes back upstairs, but not before I hear him mutter “Wanker.�

“Well done,� she says, giggling at his comment despite herself.

I could get used to this, making Lily laugh all the time. She has such a great laugh that it would be worth it. And once again it comes back to me asking her out to Hogsmeade with me this afternoon.

“Hey, Lil, what do you say we grab a few butterbeers later?� It all comes out before I even have time to think, but there’s no taking it back now.

“Isn’t that what the plan was after Honeyduke’s? Or have you already forgotten it’s a Hogsmeade weekend?� she jokes, not realizing what I meant.

“No, what I meant was . . . well, I was hoping it would be . . . just you and I.�

She’s gone still and all she can say at the moment is “Oh.� But I can tell she’s honestly thinking about it. I’m just hoping she won’t make another outrageous denial as if it were some sort of game. I could handle it before, but not now. Not again, not after how much it hurt to hear that after I thought we’d gotten close enough for her to actually agree.

“Erm . . . yeah, sure . . . okay,� she finally says, suddenly growing serious.

“Really?� I’m shocked. I mean, I was definitely hoping for that answer, but I never thought she’d actually say yes.

“Yeah. It could be fun,� she says, jerking her shoulder in a half shrug. She seems almost shy now. Is she nervous? Anxious?

“Absolutely,� I reply, smiling.

“You need to stop worrying, James,� she tells me, resting her hand gently on my arm. “I said yes because I want to, I just don’t know where that leaves us.� She already knew what I was thinking, and I barely know myself, my thoughts seem so jumbled and in a whirl.

My surprise must show because she gives my arm a gentle squeeze, pecks my cheek lightly, and says, “Really, James. I want to go out with you, so don’t fret so.�

At last, my mind catches up to the present to register that she said yes and will go quite willingly. Not only that, but she kissed me! Alright, so it was on the cheek, but it means there’s hope for us yet.

“Okay . . . yeah . . . Hogsmeade later . . . brilliant.� I’m slightly incoherent again, but she seems to find it endearing if the look she’s giving me is anything to go by.

Suddenly, the tiredness that’s been evading me all night had caught up and I feel knackered. I yawn and it’s not long after that Lily yawns too. It’s a little after five in the morning and some students are likely to be waking soon, but neither of us care. We’ll have all day with each other, and hopefully a lot longer after that.

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