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Methinks I Was Enamoured by Vindictus Viridian

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Montmorency Lockhart came to the library expecting nothing special: a little studying, a little scribbling, some light flirtation with the young witches. He was surprised by the sight that met his eyes when he walked in. Aberforth Dumbledore, of all people, was actually in the library. Not only that, he had a book open, and seemed to have talked Filius Flitwick, of all boys, into helping him with the contents.

Now, that last was not entirely unusual. Filius was the Head Boy, and a very helpful sort of Ravenclaw. What was unusual was the sheer fact that Aberforth had asked him. Montmorency edged closer.

“It’s really a very simple charm,” Filius was saying. “Point your wand from one target to the other and say…”

“Entrancing Enchantment?” Montmorency offered. “That sounds promising. Who’s the lucky girl?”

“Go ‘way.” Aberforth glared.

Montmorency planted himself at the table across from them. “I’m really good at Entrancing Enchantments.”

They didn’t look welcoming, but they didn’t know what they were missing. “We’re doing fine.”

“So, who IS it for?” Montmorency pulled the book across to himself and turned it to see the page. There were no clues there, so he looked up hopefully.

“Can you keep a secret?” Filus whispered conspiratorially.

“Nope,” Aberforth said before Montmorency could answer.

“Of course I can! Ask anyone. Ask Lawrence Flint.”

Aberforth raised one shaggy eyebrow. “The one who apparently sleeps with a blue teddy and writes home to his mum every day?”

Montmorency had never heard such a long sentence out of Aberforth before. “That’s the one! Capital fellow, really.”

Aberforth turned to Filius, growling, “Don’t tell him anything.”

“Is this something your brother dreamed up? I’m sure he knows some good Entrancements.”

Filius pulled out a new book. “So, Aberforth, I think to prepare you for NEWTs we should move on to…”

“Entrancing Enchantments,” Montmorency said firmly. “You never know when they might come in handy.”

“He’s not going to leave,” Aberforth said, sounding more than a little gloomy. “All right, then, but if you tell I’m turning you into a goat.”

“A goat? That doesn’t seem quite your thing.”

Aberforth leaned back, looking unusually large and smiling to show all his snaggly yellow teeth. This was definitely a young man who needed all the help he could get. “I do goats pretty well.”

“Really? What’s the incantation on that?” Lockhart leaned forward and gave the book back as a bribe.

“You’ll find out later.”

“Great! So, which Enchantment are you using?”

“The one for other people,” Flitwick said with a sigh. “I guess you are going to find out sooner or later.”

“Ah. Enchantius Entrancicus?”

“Er… Yes. That’s the one,” Filius agreed, as though there might be some other possibility. Aberforth made a rude noise and rolled his eyes.

“And who are we matchmaking?”

“Headmaster Black.”

Now that had potential. “When, and with whom?”

“We’re planning it as a Valentine’s Day prank, of course. And we’re still working on that part. It should involve someone who really deserves it.”

Montmorency thought hard. Really, nobody deserved to be paired up with Black, ever, even temporarily as a jest. “Isn’t he married?”

Aberforth shrugged hugely, which seemed to cover the objection.

“Anyway, there’s the spell. Let me know if you have any more questions about it,” Filius said, though he hadn’t finished his tutorial in the time Montmorency had been listening.

“Or you can ask me, anytime!” Montmorency told Aberforth, who looked as though his stomach hurt. Maybe that was why the lesson was being cut short. Filius was the sort of sensitive fellow who would notice something like that.




“He blabbed to everyone.

Albus tented his fingers and leaned back in his chair with a sigh. He wasn’t sure what to do with this younger brother, and he had solutions for most problems. “And that was a good reason for turning him into a goat, then performing a charm on him that is considered Inappropriate by the ministry when performed on an animal, then leaving him to the tender mercies of an Entranced…” At that moment a memory or several of school days with Phineas caught up with him, and he stifled a laugh with a small cough. “Really, Abe, what do you plan to do now?”

Aberforth lowered his shaggy head in an attempt to look repentant, but his shoulders started to shake. “Just wish you could have seen it.”

Albus had heard. A panicky goat dashing madly about the Great Hall, a headmaster chasing after it bellowing “Darling!” in front of the students, several staff members too collapsed in laughter to do anything at all useful. It had been a most noteworthy prank, he had to admit. Even he had never dared something, back in his pranking days. He took a deep breath; after all, it was his job to take care of Aberforth, his job to set a good example, his job to keep his younger brother from turning self-absorbed twits into goats…

He couldn’t help it, joining in the laugh until tears came. He could just hear Phineas indulging in that ridiculous quotation habit that he really ought to outgrow someday but had not at last check: “Methinks I was enamoured of a goat.” Phineas never did get Shakespeare right. The thought made him laugh harder. Aberforth had given up all pretense of shame and was roaring. It had been a very long time since they had been able to just be brothers.

“I’m sorry,” Aberforth gasped eventually. “But I really was a right cock-up at the books and things.”

“That’s all right. We’ll figure out something “ now you’re famous.”

Aberforth snorted. “What’s a good job for someone with a good Goat Transfiguration and not much else?”

There weren’t many prospects. Very few people actually wanted to be turned into goats, which, come to think of it, did leave a niche for Transfiguring the unwilling. “There’s an opening for a bouncer at the Hog’s Head tavern. Interested?”

Nodding his great and probably rather scary-looking head, Aberforth considered the idea. “Yeah. I could like that.”