Prologue-The Recruitment and Meeting Remus
It began on the 30th of June, when I got a visit at work from the last person I would expect, Albus Dumbledore. I had just arrived at my cubicle in the Auror office when Scrimgeour told me I had a visitor in the Atrium. I did not want to go, as it would have meant missing a very important conference. My Auror instincts told me it had something to do with the return of Lord Voldemort, so I put my work aside and Disapparated to the Atrium.
Dumbledore was sitting on the fountain, and looked up as I approached. –It's good to see you again, Nymphadora,†he said standing and holding out his hand.
I shook his hand and said, –Wotcher, Professor, please call me Tonks.â€
–Of course, Tonks, please sit down. There is a very important matter I need to discuss with you.†I sat next to him on the fountain, and wondered what he could possibly need to talk to me about.
–Tonks, I am sure you aware that Lord Voldemort has returned,†Dumbledore said.
–Yes, Professor, I am,†I replied. –It has only been six days since his return, it seems to be the entire wizarding world is talking about, yet it also seems to be that no one wants to believe it. I can assure you, Professor that I do.â€
–Thank you, Tonks,†Dumbledore said. –We need all the people we can who believe, which is why I am here. I understand you recently qualified as an Auror?â€
–Yes, Professor, I qualified last year. I am amazed I managed to qualify at all.â€
–Why would that surprise you? You earned excellent marks on your N.E.W.T.'s and your abilities as a Metamorphagus can only aid you in your duties,†Dumbledore said.
–They do, Professor,†I explained. –I had no problem with the concealment and disguise parts of training, but because of my clumsiness, I nearly failed the stealth and tracking portion of the training.â€
–There is something very important I need to ask you, Tonks,†Dumbledore said. –But it is not safe here. I have already spoken to your parents, wards have been cast upon your home, I believe it is safe to Apparate there and discuss this matter.â€
–All right, let me go to my cubicle to get my things and talk to Scrimgeour, and then we can go,†I said.
–Retrieve your things, Tonks, but do not worry about speaking to Rufus, I have already explained the situation, and he has given you the rest of the day off,†Dumbledore explained.
I Apparated to my cubicle, grabbed my traveling bag, made sure my wand was up the sleeve of my coat, locked my drawer, cast wards on them, then Disapparated back to the Atrium.
–Take my arm, Tonks, and think very clearly of your home,†Dumbledore said.
I did as instructed, closed my eyes, and took a deep breath, and when I opened them, we were in the living room of my home.
–Nymphadora, is that you?†asked my mother's voice, coming from the kitchen.
–Yes, Mum, it's me,†I called. –Excuse me, Professor, I should go speak to my parents.â€
–Do not concern yourself with me, Tonks. I will wait for you to come back,†Dumbledore said.
I went into the kitchen. Both my Mum and Dad were there, looking as concerned and confused as I felt. –Nymphadora, do you have any idea why Professor Dumbledore wanted to meet with us?†my mum asked.
–No I don't, Mum,†I replied. –I was at work filling out Death Eater reports, when Scrimgeour told me I had a visitor in the Atrium. I spoke with Dumbledore, but he didn't think it was safe to discuss whatever matter at the Ministry. He said he spoke with both of you, and that you had agreed to meet here.â€
–Yes, Dora, we did,†my dad said. –We know whatever needs to be discussed is very important, and that the three of us need to hear what Dumbledore has to say.â€
–Ted, I don't think this is a wise idea,†my mum said worriedly, looking at me. Her remark made me nervous, and I began to bite my nails.
–Dromeda, I don't think there is anything wrong with simply hearing Dumbledore out, I can't guarantee what he needs to discuss won't put Dora in danger, but she is an adult now and an Auror, she has great instincts, and she has always made good decisions.â€
–All right, Ted, you and Nymphadora go in the living room, and I will start the tea.â€
My dad and I went back to the living room and sat down across from Dumbledore, but not before I tripped on the leg of the coffee table.
–Are you all right, Nymphadora?†my mum said coming in with a tray of tea and biscuits.
–Yes, mum, I'm fine, slight loss of dignity, nothing new there,†I said.
–I see what you mean about being clumsy, Tonks,†Dumbledore said, taking a cup of tea. –But right now that hardly matters. I came to ask you if you would be interested in joining a secret society called the Order of the Phoenix. It existed during Lord Voldemort's first reign, and has reconvened. Joining the Order is dangerous, Tonks, but the simple fact is, we need all the assistance and Aurors we can possibly get.â€
–Forgive me, Professor,†my mother spoke up, looking from me to Dumbledore and back again, –Since you cannot guarantee Nymphadora's safety, I don't think I can allow her to join.â€
–Mum, it is not your choice, whether I join or not!†I exclaimed, my hair turning red. –I am an adult now, like dad said, and whatever this Order of the Phoenix does, it sounds like they need all the help they can get.â€
–Nymphadora Andromeda Tonks, you may be an adult now, but we are still your parents, and we have to decide what's best for you,†my mum said.
–Dromeda, I have to agree with Dora. There are lots of Death Eaters, just like last time. We should know, half the family in league with Lord Voldemort. Your sister, Bellatrix, is a Death Eater, whether she is in Azkaban or not. Narcissa is married to Lucius, he is also a Death Eater.â€
–Ted, what's your point?†my mum asked.
–The point is, it seems that there have always been more Death Eaters than Order of the Phoenix members. We never belonged, but I remember the first Wizarding War and what was lost. Harry Potter lost his parents, Neville's parents were tortured by Bellatrix and Barty Crouch, Jr. until they were driven insane. They don't even recognize their own son.â€
–I don't want that to happen to Nymphadora, that's why I don't want her to join, Ted,†my mum said, still looking at me, as if trying to convince me.
–Ted, Andromeda, I understand you are concerned for your only daughter's safety. I can assure you we have some of the best witches and wizards as members of the Order, if I can give you the names, perhaps it will put your mind at ease,†Dumbledore said.
–All right, Albus, please tell us the members,†my mum said, finally looking at Dumbledore.
I picked up a cup of tea, but by this point, my hands were shaking. I could barely hold the cup, so I put it back on the tray, amazed I didn't spill it. I didn't hear one word Dumbledore said about the Order members until he came to the name –Sirius Blackâ€
–Sirius Black is a member of the Order, Professor?†I interrupted. –I heard he escaped from Azkaban two years ago, but I didn't think it would be safe for him to be a member of the Order.â€
–I am afraid it isn't, Tonks,†Dumbledore said sadly. Fourteen years ago, when Lily and James Potter were murdered, Sirius was falsely accused by Peter Pettigrew of betraying them to Voldemort. This is untrue, it was Peter who betrayed them, simply because Peter was threatened with death by Voldemort if he did not reveal where they were hiding.â€
–I knew Sirius was innocent, I just knew it. I never believed he would betray Lily and James, he was too much of a friend,†I said.
–Well, that decides it, Nymphadora, there is no way you are joining a secret society that has a murderer as a member,†my mum said decidedly.
–Mum, Sirius is not a murderer!†I exclaimed. –He is my cousin, and I barely got to know him, before he was wrongly thrown into Azkaban. That's something I would like to do before I die!â€
–Nymphadora, you are only 22 years old. I don't think you are going to die anytime soon,†mum said.
–You know what I meant, mum!†I said. –Dumbledore asked me if I would like to join the Order, all I am asking for is time to think. Can I at least have that?â€
–Yes, Tonks, time to think is more than fair. Take as long as you need, and Owl me when you have made a decision,†Dumbledore said.
–Thank you, Professor. I promise I will Owl you no matter what my decision,†I said.
Dumbledore Disapparated from the house, and I went up my room to think. It was hard when I need to make a decision, the last place I need to be is inside. I waited until the sun set, and went out to the backyard to look for Sirius, not my cousin, as I have no idea where he is, but the star in the sky, otherwise known as the Dog Star. For some reason, when I see that star, I know I will make the right decision. I closed my eyes and thought, and after what seemed like a very short while, I made a decision.
I went back in the house and told my parents. Of course, my mum tried to change my mind, but I would not be swayed. I am not sure if they approve or understand, because I am not sure I do either. I think they respect my decision, though.
I owled Dumbledore who sent the details several days later. Dumbledore told Scrimgeour I would be patrolling Hogsmeade and Hogwarts several days a week. I do not know whether this is true, but it is a believable excuse as to why I will not be at the Ministry.
Dumbledore and I Apparated to Number 12 Grimmauld Place, childhood home of Sirius. Walking down the hall I nearly tripped over the house elf, who promptly called me a blood traitor. Sirius told Kreacher to leave me alone. I sat down to wait for the other members. The only other member there was Remus Lupin. I shook his hand, he seems nice enough. I noticed the scar on his face, I wondered if it was from a Death Eater attack, but I did not ask.
A short time later, a friend of mine from Hogwarts arrived. Her name is Roma Ringwhite. I am embarrassed to admit I had forgotten about her, even though we were both in the same year at Hogwarts and both Hufflepuffs. She became an Auror shortly before I did, and her twin brother Ronan, a Gryffindor, is a trainee healer at St. Mungos.
After the other members arrived, Dumbledore explained our responsibilities, which were indeed patrolling Hogsmeade and Hogwarts for Death Eaters, to stake out where Death Eaters were believed to be living or hiding, and to see if anyone in the Ministry was in league with Voldemort.
The next few months were extremely busy. On the 2nd of August, Dementors showed up in Little Whinging, attacking Harry and his cousin Dudley. Harry conjured his Patronus to drive them away, but was expelled for using magic in the presence of a Muggle. I fabricated a letter sent by Muggle post informing them that they had been short-listed in the "All-England Best Kept Suburban Lawn Competition."
With them out of the way, the Advance Guard, which included Remus, to escort Harry to Grimmauld Place. Harry underwent a disciplinary hearing, and thanks to Dumbledore and Harry's neighbor, Mrs. Figg, the charges were dropped.
I went on many stakeouts with Remus, whom I quite enjoyed spending time with. On one of them, he felt comfortable enough tell me he was a werewolf. He also told me about the Wolfsbane potion, which allows Remus to keep his human mind when he transforms. That is why it is safe for him to stay at headquarters. He stays curled by the fire until the sunrise. I told Remus I would not mind spending the night with a werewolf. He looked at me as if he couldn't believe what I had just said. I quickly explained I did not mean it the way it sounded. I meant that if Remus would like some company during the full moon, I would gladly give it. Remus smiled and thanked me.
Several days later, during an overnight stakeout, Remus and I were ambushed by Death Eaters outside one of their homes. I don't know how they spotted us. A duel ensued in which I was hit with the stinging jinx on my right hand. I was in such pain I dropped my wand. Remus took my arm and we Apparated back to headquarters.
After Roma looked at my hand, she confirmed it was indeed the stinging jinx, but because she thought it might have come from a Death Eater, she suggested I go to St. Mungos to have Ronan look at it. Remus came along, and we were told my hand would be fine.
I was put on desk duty at the Ministry for the next few days while my hand healed. Remus showed up to fill out a Death Eater report, as he was a witness. Later sitting by the fountain in the Atrium, Remus apologized for what happened. I told him it wasn't his fault, but I could tell he still blames himself. The article Rita Skeeter wrote in the Daily Prophet did not help any. The article stated that Remus cast the stinging jinx and one of the Death Eaters deflected it. That may be true, but it's still not Remus' fault that I was injured.
My parents also read the article, and mum owled me trying to convince me to quit the Order. I refused, saying that the Order needed me and no matter what, I was staying. I didn't say that I thought Remus needed me too. He has Sirius, but he needs more than one friend.
After my hand healed, Roma and I went on a stakeout together as it was the full moon. I wanted to spend it with Remus, but Sirius volunteered first. The second night, I went to the attic and found Remus asleep next to the fire. I covered him with a blanket, curled up in the chair next to the fireplace and fell asleep. I left before he woke up. He never even knew I was there.
A few nights later, on another overnight stakeout, I made an idle remark about Sirius, saying "He’s still handsome, isn’t he, even after Azkaban?†Remus replied, –I suppose you've fallen for my old friend. He always got the women.†Before I could stop myself, I replied, "You’d know perfectly well who I’ve fallen for, if you weren’t too busy feeling sorry for yourself to notice."
At first Remus appeared happy that I had said that I had fallen in love with him. However, several days later, Remus came to my room at headquarters and said, –I understand that you have feelings for me, Tonks. I cannot be with you because I am too dangerous, and Wolfsbane or not, I cannot risk hurting you. I'm sorry.â€
After that, Remus would not spend time with me, barely spoke to me, and volunteered for the most dangerous missions. It seems he would rather walk to his death, rather than admit his feelings.
Two months passed and at the beginning of October, Remus volunteered to spy for the Order by living amongst werewolves, in an attempt to turn them to Dumbledore's side. I'm afraid Remus will not come back. Just before he departed, I left my room not to convince him to stay, but to say goodbye, and tell him I love him, for I may never have the chance again.
Remus was already standing at the front door, with his back to me.
–Remus?†I whispered, my voice hoarse from crying.
–Nymphadora, you can't convince me to stay, so please don't try,†Remus said
–I'm not, Remus,†I replied. –I simply came to say goodbye and no matter what happens, I love you.â€
Remus said, –I know you love me, Tonks, but I'm sorry, I can't.†With that, he turned and walked out the front door. I heard him Disapparate seconds later. With nothing left to do, I ran up to my room, and cried myself to sleep.