Amanda

I arrived at this story from your review of my fic and I’m glad that I did. This is a really nice piece of work. Both touching and amusing. Well done! I’m now going to read your other stuff. (You may be interested in my take on Ron and Hermione’s wedding btw).

Ireally like this story, so I’m sorry to make this one niggle. Fireflys, cicadas? I’ve never seen any fireflies in the UK and the only chirruping insect are, so far as I know, grasshoppers. I’m no beta-reader, but, if you want any future stories brit-picking, I’d be happy to oblige.

N

Author's Response:

It tickles me pink that you came to read my story! And please, niggle away. I actually researched the firefly thing, because I really wanted them in there for some reason, lol, and the map I found of their territories included the whole of the UK. Xp. Oh, well. And you can probably guess about the cicadas, as it features so beautifully in the song. *Sigh* It's one of my favorite parts of the song, I couldn't resist. I assumed that one, that's my bad. My beta-reader was actually a Brit-picker; you would have run away screaming if you would have seen the original. :)

Thank you so much for the read and the review, and I will definitely be taking a look at the rest of your stories as well! Thank you!

~Amanda

There are surprisingly few stories on this site that Ican read. Stories which add to, rather than ignore, the works of JKR

This is a nice little story, thank you.

N

Author's Response: What a kind thing to say. I too prefer stories that work in the canon. Thanks so much.

Another nice story. I’m not sure that this is “only fluff” 9not that there is anything wrong with only fluff). There is some nice, insightful stuff in there. I love the entire conversation which ends ““We’re not fighting,” Ron said. “Of course not,” added Hermione.” This tells us so much about their relationship without beating us over the head with it.

Author's Response: Thanks Neil. I actually relieved that you liked that part... I almost ran the whole "hanging out" thing by you to see if it passed the Brit-picking test, but then I decided I couldn't bear to hear that I should remove it. Haha. Thanks for reading and reviewing, as always!

Lori

Great story, I love your female seventh year Slytherin photographer. What a great idea for a character. I did not mention to you that one of my two Challenge entries (also a “Summer Holiday” one) also featured a female seventh year Slytherin photographer, as I thought that might cause you some concern. As it is, they are totally different people.

There are a lot of mysteries about Kenley and you manage to hint that many of them are issues relating to her absent biological father. In fact both of her parents loom large in this story, though neither of them appear. James and Brian are nicely drawn, too.

Good luck for the challenge.

Neil

Author's Response: I'm glad you did not tell me that before, Neil... it would have caused me concern, to say the least. ;) But since done is done, why not just agree that great minds think alike and have a laugh about it? That is a pretty funny coincidence. I have not read your other entry yet, but hope to do so today. I'm glad you got the sense of her parents being larger than the quantity of lines I devoted to them in this... I was hoping that would come across without telling every bit of history. Thanks for reading and reviewing, Neil!

Wow!

Personally, I don’t think that you need to apologise or explain about the bad grammar and spelling, because there isn’t any. This is a wonderful insight into the mind of 3-year-old Ron. It is brim full of beautiful, perfect and truly sad child-logic. I’m a grumpy old bloke, but the naïve sadness in lines like “I didn’t want the broomstick to be broked, but it was broked.” really got to me (having kids helps, I suspect).

This is Ron, it’s a Ron we can recognise, and he’s only three! That alone is something to be proud of. Having recently struggled through the first few chapters of a Ron/Hermione/Harry/Ginny story only to realise that four lead characters simply weren’t Ron, Hermione, Harry, or Ginny I really appreciate the craft and care which you have taken in getting little Ron right in this one-shot.

The ending is disturbing and nasty, and absolutely perfect. Ron’s worries and fears are so real, from “who’d eat the black ones” to “what if new Teddy didn’t smell of ketchup?” you capture the confusion of a child whose world, through no fault of his own, has changed for the worse.

It’s because of the care you’ve taken that I want to be extremely nitpicky. First: “We flied around the garden with our wands from the tree. He flied around hunting for the bad wizards.” I think that the He in the second sentence is supposed to be another We, I may be wrong. Second: (and this is personal opinion) the one word which jumps out to me as being too grown up is “explain” (possibly simply because my son couldn’t say it and instead used splain for years). As I said, very minor nitpicks.

Congratulations, you have written a wonderful story.

-N-


Author's Response: Wow! You've left me really speechless if I am honest with you! I think this is the best review I have ever gotten!

Sorry about the explanation at the beginning. I did that mostly because Mugglenet are very strict on what fics they validate, and I've had chapters rejected because of spelling/grammar/punctuation mistakes, so I included those warning so that the validators would know all those "mistakes" were deliberate. I genuinely thought though that this wouldn't get approved, so I was really happy (and surprised) when it was.

I am really speechless to be honest with you. I am so glad that you think I did a great job getting into a 3-year-old's mind. I mostly just based it on my little cousin really, she's only four and I play with her all the time. I'm still pretty much a kid myself, so to hear from someone who has kids that this is not only realistic and believable but also moving and enjoyable is just brilliant. Leaves me speechless really!

I am so glad you think this is Ron. I hate reading fics that have the characterisation completely wrong too. It just makes me cringe. I did my best here to try and capture what I reckon Ron was like at this age, so I am very glad (and relieved) that you think I did a good job!

I am also glad you liked the ending, and that you described it as "disturbing and nasty", because that was really what I was going for, and I wasn't too sure whether or not I managed to convey Ron's sense of horror afterwards. So cheers for that!

Yes, you are right there - that "He" should be a "We" - that was just a typo and I've fixed it there, so thanks for pointing it out. Also, cheers for the suggestion on "splain", that definitely sounds much better, so I've changed that too, really loved that suggestion, so thanks a million for it.

Just thanks so much for taking the time to read my story and to leave this really brilliant review. I really appreciate it, especially since its coming from a parent. Thanks so much. I'm still pretty speechless so I really don't know what to say. This was just a bit of an experiment and I really was unsure whether it would work or not, and I am just stunned that people actually like it. Can't believe it really! Thanks so much again for all the nice things you said, appreciate it! :)

Thanks for a nicely drawn and thought-provoking story about Harry and Dudley. You kept both men nicely in character, with just the right amount of awkwardness between them. I particularly enjoyed seeing the Aurors arrive in a black Range Rover! :-D
-N-


Author's Response: Three guesses where the Range Rover came from, and the first two don't count! Like you, I appreciate consistency in the Potterverse, and that vehicle is certainly appropriate for the wizarding equivalent of Ghostbusters. Thank you for your complimentary remarks; I am glad that you thought that the characterization was accurate and that the story was thought-provoking. Vicki