ATTENTION
So. I first started writing stories when I was 15, and it's been at least four years since I've even looked at this website. With the last movie coming out, I don't think I can stand to have a void of Potter in my life...so maybe, just maybe, I'll start writing again.
Stay tuned, Potterverse.
This story is like...SO AMAZING! (I kid, of course) Odd...I didn't know I could submit a review on my own story. (I'm doing this to amuse myself.) The next chapter will be coming whenever my teachers decide to lay off on the homework!
Author's Response: Haha...I'm responding to my own response! (sigh) I am so having one of those days.
Author's Response: I'm responding to my response! HAHAHAHA... wow.
HEY ALL OF YOU WHO DIDN'T WANT THIS TO END! I've got a sequel up: "Oh the Insanity: the Thoughts of Hermione Granger" I also have another, completely random and unrelated story somewhere else on here: "Hogwarts Overturned" Read on!
I thought this was brilliant! Ha...reviewing my own story again. Geez people, sorry I ended it. I did just submit a sequel though! Please read!
Loved it. Characters were captured perfectly. Very cute
That was amazing. *HEEP* Wonderful character, wonderful plot, hilarious little tidbits thrown in. Damn those thief owls...not the coffee! *gasps* Anyway, horray for you, horray for gravy, y esta lloviendo hombres! Alleluia!
Author's Response: A hearty HEEP to you too.
(by the way, 'esta lloviendo hombres' translates to 'it's raining men'.)
Author's Response: Het regent mannen.
Chove homens.
Идет дождь мужчины.
Piove degli uomini.
Det regner menn.
Es regnet Männer.
Il pleut des hommes.
REVIEW 67! Anyhoo first I'd like to inform you that yes, next year we will be the "Insane Junior Society." And as for initiation...something will happen to you soon...that'll be it. You'll know what I'm talking about. You will. And honestly, I don't know what I'm going to do about the horrible ninja problem we're having in this town. Things are getting ridiculously out of control! And there's something you need to know...
In Salt Lake City, it's illegal to walk down the street holding a paper bag that contains.........a violin.
Author's Response: Hmmm... I must bring a paper bag and a violin next time I go to Salt Lake City... Right after I molest some butterflies in California and eat peanuts while walking backwards during a concert in New York!
Speaking of ninja problems, it seems your Walt Whitman ninja is stalking me again. He doesn't think I know, but then again, he seems to think standing behind the printer is a foolproof spying area. I'm tempted to take my lettercutter and just lop off his knife-hand, but I don't know whether he's bound to you or not. Respond ASAP- he's looking at my pot roast with much too much hunger in his eyes...
Alas, we finally hear the rest of the previous chapter! I'm excited to read what crazy predicament these characters come up with next! Spring is such a lovely time for fanfiction, the birds a-chirping, the trees in bloom. I'll have to ask my favorite grocery store cashier and personal spiritual advisor Luddite to explain to me why that is. I mean, it gives me an uncontrolable urge to shout "oxeye!"
I apologize for my lack of creativity. And I should probably inform you that I've been shouting "Iceland" all day. Perhaps it's because of the fact that today is the Great Storyboard Massacre of Yesterday. Hmmmm...
Why do I have a feeling that you put that thing about reviews in there because you knew insane people such as me would actually do it?
Author's Response: The Great Storyboard Massacre of Yesterday? You must be talking about anything Dreamworks has churned out recently. No, I must STAY my irreverent quips on pop culture and answer your question! You get that feeling because we are psychically linked, remember? I always get that same inexplicable feeling after watching scenes in Return of the Jedi with the furry alien thing next to Jabba the Hut whose sole purpose seems to be to laugh. Not that I'm a Star Wars fan or anything. It just strikes me as weird that Jabba needs contantly needs to have someone laughing with him. I spot SERIOUS insecurity issues in that guy. Hmmm... perhaps I've gone a bit off topic. Well, it's not like this review had any contents, so what the hell am I worrying about? I can say things like "Heidi split some sebaceous glands in the lounge chair while listening to Geraldo Rivera talk about the plastic on CDs," or "Holy cow, Batman, the unbderwater thermnal vents seemed to be crammed with what looks like... cheese doodles!" "What? Are you sure? Jeepers, you're right! We must stop this at once, lest the...er... isotropes in the seawater...er... condense and... er... wreak havoc!" or just "Spendiferousness!" Hell, I could deign to say "wireless hushpuppies" or "Jehovah's kaleidoscope" or even the rare "Honey, want to open up a can of HAIRY CAVEMEN FROM SPACE?" "Why sure honey, and could you be a dear and add in some cream of QUEEQUEG?"
Fine, 51, but only because I love you.
Author's Response: No 52?
Break out the knife cutter! Someone needs to do something about that ninja, and you seem to be the right person for the job. I'm too busy. Or maybe just too lazy. And the Salt Lake city thing...apparently that's true. Also it's apparently true that in PA it's illegal to walk like a chicken through a 4 way intersection. I have no idea whether or not it's true, but it would explain a lot...anyhoo, I'm off to go sing some showtunes and eat a cookie or two, not necessarily in that order. And you get another review out of all this.
Author's Response: Just don't sing showtunes and eat cookies at the same time. It makes you drool a bit...
I have just brutally murdered the ninja. Or rather, my pet magpie Garry did. It was quite impressive, actually. You should have seen the celerity in which that beak was gouging out his jugular vein. When the ninja started to try to strangle my bird, it retaliated by taking out his Islets of Langerhans with a near-frightening fervor. Garry is better than an entire roost of dragons. I love him to death.
First to review Lice and Fen? I'm honored! This chapter was utterly brilliant, if I do say so myself. It's comforting to know that I'm not the only one in the world who finds Lederhosen amusing. But anyway, I thought that you might like to know that the answer to all of the questions you will ever have about any of the chapters you are going to write in the future is twelve left shoes and a Richard Simmons video. If this is unclear to you, there is something you can do...
Take out a piece of scrap paper and write the words "Where is my gouda" on it. Promptly throw it out of a second story window. In approximately 3 minutes and 32 seconds, you will recieve a phone call from "Lousy Bob". Lousy Bob will inform you to meet him at the supermarket in seventeen minutes with the goods. By "the goods" he means 12 lbs. of tomato paste. By "the supermarket" he means the bank. And by "seventeen minutes" he means fifteen. But anyway, when you arrive at the bank, you will find a large cardboard box. Carefully put the tomato paste into the box and leave, making sure no one is watching you in the process. At this time you will need to go out and buy a new sport jacket, preferably an orange one, if you can manage it. Once you have completed this, return to the bank and look inside the cardboard box. The tomato paste should be gone and instead, twelve small cucumbers should be in it's place. Take a medium-sized bite out of the largest one and give the rest away to the first person you see wearing ugly pants. Now you must return home, but not before mailing a letter to the Canadian prime minister, demanding equal rights for the backstreet boys. Threaten him that if your demands are not met, you will send him to the Closet-of-Things-That-One-Normally-Would-Not-Like-To-Be-In-A-Closet-With.
Everything should make sense after that.
Author's Response: Man, you are teaching me more and more every frickin' day! Before your excellent courses in evil villainy, I thought that the answer to every qustion one could conceivably ask was "trout". In light of your awesome tutoring, I am ashamed to admit that I failed your task. It's terrible, I know: Apparently, the Tomato Paste I bought was labeled by some dyslexic eight-year-old in a Thai sweatshop and it read "Pomato Taste". So, needless to say, the whole trial went out of whack and I ended up with just a Get-Out-Of-Jail-Free card and no enlightenment as to your words of wisdom. I apologize for my failure. Will this interfere with my upcoming initian into the Insane Sophomores' Society?
Drat, in that long, rambling review I forgot to inform you that I currently have pictures of my "Hogwarts Overturned" OCs up on my author page, in case you're interested. Oh well, another review for you.
Author's Response: One more review= One review closer to total burnination of the planet. I will make sure to look at them.
Sorry love, but it's not just you. The chapter does end with an abrupt Voldem- Now I have to go read the chapter...
Author's Response: Crap.
(I already responded to your question about the end...right? I think I did...right. Got it. time to start the review.) Alas, chapter 12. The Great Refrigerator. Sasquatch. Baddness Brigade. Poland. Twenty-seven geese and a Scandinavian postal worker. Blue. N'SYNC. One million funny looking mimes at a Ukranian convention. All this should explain my opinion of this chapter.
Author's Response: Yes, but what should I do about the end? It is, as aforementioned, vitally important.
I wonder too about that gravy...
Author's Response: I was thinking of scheduling a gravy sing-along. Wanna come? It'll be fun.
I love gravy...
dudurudududududu
I love gravy!
durududurududududu
maybe not...
Do you realize that 14 of your reviews came from me? crap, I guess it's 15 now... Think about it: what would you do without me?
Author's Response: Breathe. Eat. A little sleeping now and then. Then straight back to the eating.
Just wondering, have you ever had to wear a purple leotard? *SUDDENLY REMEMBERS* Holy crap, I actually have! Dear lord...I completely forgot about that...well it's better than a purple unitard...*shudders*...or that neon pink pleather skirt...*shudders once more* and might I add that any story that can include Batman and the Amish with still some slight, feeble, yet still existant form of a plot is...PUDDING! Wow. I think I'll head off to sing some showtunes now...
Author's Response: I think that telpathic link you set up between us is a little TOO strong. Now I'm starting to get your purple leotard memories. Gah!
Now I know what I put my own readers through with "Hogwarts Overturned" (so THAT'S why it isn't getting as many reads as the rest of them...) ANYHOO it's good to know that there are others like me out there...*sniffs*...this story...makes me laugh!...and cry (well, not really)...and, erm...yeah.
Author's Response: I will now read "Hogwarts Overturned".
And Snape is a sex god now? When did THAT happen? (probably around the same time when he will, apparently, marry Hermione...or Harry...or both...)
Author's Response: I was under the impression that Snape would marry a goblin named Tendercheeks.
And one more, to make it '50' reviews.
Author's Response: No 51?