The Longing Heart by Cwiddy
Summary: Nymphadora Tonks has a problem. She has fallen in love with Remus Lupin, who seems to have similar feelings towards her, but rejects that love because of his curse of being a werewolf. She struggles with these feelings and falls into despair. In her darkest hour Tonks runs down the road to escape her feelings, but instead finds a most mysterious inn called the "Green Dragon". There she finds hope and help from the most peculiar inn keeper she has ever met.





This is written by Cwiddy from Hufflepuff house for the Green Dragon Winter Challenge. Chapter 2 is when Tonks finds her way to the Green Dragon Inn.
Categories: Remus/Tonks Characters: None
Warnings: None
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 4 Completed: Yes Word count: 7414 Read: 11395 Published: 01/24/07 Updated: 02/28/07

1. Chapter 1: Love Blossoms by Cwiddy

2. Chapter 2: Journey of the Lost by Cwiddy

3. Chapter 3: The Longing Heart by Cwiddy

4. Chapter 4: Road to Hope by Cwiddy

Chapter 1: Love Blossoms by Cwiddy
Author's Notes:
This is J.K. Rowlings' World, I'm just trying to imagine what may happen in more detail!
Nymphadora Tonks was silently patrolling the grounds of Hogwarts. The risks of attack on the grounds were high since the return of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named the end of the previous year. Dumbledore had several members of the Order of the Phoenix on the Hogwarts grounds at all times.

Friends and even acquaintances of this young Auror would not recognize Tonks. The sparkle of Tonks’ eyes and the bright pink hair were gone. Her clothes were wrinkled and her hair, currently a mousy brown was dull and unkempt. In fact her entire appearance looked neglected. The hopeless look on Tonks’ face, especially in her eyes, told a story of deep disappointment and misery. The creases of Tonks’ face had changed and the spark of life and mischief that many associated with her were also missing. Tonks had not smiled in months, and actually did not care any more if she ever smiled again. Tonks was struggling with her will to keep living, to keep moving forward with her life.

It all started that night at the Ministry of Magic when Tonks’ cousin, Sirius Black, fell through the veil to his death. Bellatrix Lestrange, their aunt had pushed him through after having first injured Tonks in battle. Tonks, along with most of the members of the Order of the Phoenix, had arrived in time to save Harry Potter and his friends. A devious trap had been set by He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named in an effort to obtain the prophecy that the Order had been protecting all year at the ministry. The prophecy had set the destiny of young Harry all those years ago. It had also led to the death of his parents, and left him with the lightning bolt scar on his forehead. Tonks, had been injured and sent to St. Mungo’s for treatment. The healers at St. Mungo’s had prescribed bedrest on the spell damage ward. After a couple of days taking all sorts of dreadful potions, she finally was discharged with an almost clean bill of health, even though her ribs still hurt a bit where Bellatrix’s spell had hit her. The healers had given Tonks a potion to take for a few more days. She was also instructed to make sure she got plenty of rest the next few days.

The first night at St. Mungo’s, a worried and depressed Remus Lupin had come to make sure she would be okay. Remus didn’t want to loose two friends in one night to Bellatrix. Remus was mortified by the death of the last of his close friends. He considered his friend Peter to be dead since he betrayed James and Lily by telling He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named where to find them.

Remus did not immediately tell Tonks about Sirius, although she could tell he was in shock and seemed to be mourning for someone. Tonks knew it had been a dreadful battle at the Ministry of Magic. Struggling to hold back tears, Remus refused to tell her anything until he was sure she was well enough to take the news. When Tonks was discharged he took her home to her apartment. Remus promised to tell Tonks everything once they got there.

Once at Tonks’ apartment Remus had broken the news about Sirius. Tonks had collapsed into Remus’ arms sobbing, and she felt his tears finally start to fall with hers. They both cried for their friend and relative, as Remus thought of Sirius as a brother. Once their tears dried up they started to share their memories of Sirius. Remus spoke of their days together at Hogwarts, and the adventures and mischief of the Marauders. Tonks relayed stories her mother shared with her about Sirius, and her own memories of Sirius, few as they were. That night they seemed to connect in a very special way. It was the first night that Tonks realized that she had strong feelings for Remus, and may even be in love with him. The night ended suddenly though, much more quickly then Tonks would have liked. They were still sharing memories of Sirius sitting on her couch together when their eyes met. She felt her lips felt drawn to his, but before they met his, Remus pushed her away. He looked at his watch, mentioned about how late the hour was and reminded her that she was supposed to be getting rest the next few days. Then Remus rushed out the door.

Tonks didn’t see or hear from Remus again until the Order provided an escort to accompany Harry at the Kings Cross train station where they had a little chat with the Dursley’s about his stay there that summer. Remus rushed away immediately after the meeting saying something about an assignment that Dumbledore had given him for the Order of the Phoenix. Tonks later learned that the assignment was to spy on Fenrir Greyback and the other werewolves who followed the dangerous rogue. That piece of knowledge alone increased Tonks’ despair.

Tonks wrote Remus several letters, sending them by owls. The only response she received was one letter asking her to stop trying to contact him because he was working undercover and was cursed anyway. Once more she attempted to contact Remus with her Patronus, but to no avail. At Order meetings at which they were both present Remus always arrived right after the meeting started and left right before it adjourned.

There was only one meeting at which Tonks and Remus were both present. Tonks had started to leave, but saw Arthur Weasley invite Remus to stay for dinner. Remus was looking even thinner and more rough then usual. Molly came up to her and invited her to stay, too. Tonks thought that maybe this would be her chance to talk to him.

When Remus saw that Tonks was staying, he tried to make excuses to leave, but Molly insisted that he remain till dinner was over. She worried over how thin he had become and the grey sprinkled generously through his hair. Remus ignored Tonks the entire dinner, although when she was not looking at him, she felt his eyes on her. When he had finished his meal, Remus tried to hurry away, but Tonks cornered him before he could leave. Remus finally looked her in the eye again, and did not allow her a chance to speak. In a hoarse voice he determinedly informed Tonks that his was a dangerous life and that his curse prevented him from being able to have a relationship. Remus was sorry, but she needed to live with that fact. His voice kept cracking as he faced her, but he still got the words out. Then he hurriedly walked away, wiping away the tears that were starting to run down his face.

Tonks needed to find a way to make him understand that he was a good man and deserved to find happiness. She could see the love in his eyes as he told her how dangerous it was to be with him. The tears were also a sign to her tortured heart.
Chapter 2: Journey of the Lost by Cwiddy
Author's Notes:
This is J.K. Rowling's universe, just trying to expand it a bit!
After meeting with the Dursley’s at Kings Cross, Tonks’ appearance had deteriorated and she could no longer control her Metamorphmagus abilities. Her lovely hair turned back to the mousy brown she had always hated, but she no longer cared. The drab brown fitted her mood better anyway. She noticed that after she sent her Patronus to Remus and he did not respond, it changed shape. Now its appearance was that of a wolf and represented Remus so well. Tonks confided in Molly, but later decided it was not a wise decision. Molly continually attempted to lure Tonks into meeting with Remus, who just ignored her. Tonks kept herself busy with her job as an Auror. Dumbledore had requested that she be one of the those assigned to guard Hogwarts once school was back in session. Little did Dumbledore know that those trips around the castle grounds just tortured her. Memories of the stories that Remus had shared with her about his days at school with Sirius, James, and Peter haunted her thoughts.

Many inquired about the change in Tonks. Some assumed that it was because of Sirius’s death; others did not know what to do or say. Tonks never answered those who did inquire as she felt it was none of their business. She did feel a flash of anger when Snape mentioned the changed in her Patronus when she escorted Harry from the train at the beginning of term. Harry had found some misfortune on the train with Malfoy. Tonks had noticed that Harry had not disembarked from the Hogwarts Express, so she went to find him. Harry was hidden under his invisibility cloak in one of the compartments. Snape had intercepted the Patronus that Tonks had sent up to the castle for Hagrid to come and open the gates to escort Harry the rest of the way to the castle.

Time continued, Tonks did her rounds of the Hogwarts grounds and withdrew deeper and deeper into herself. She missed Sirius greatly, but she also longed to complete that kiss with Remus. She was slowly dying on the inside because of his rejection of her. Why did Remus not love her? Why did Remus not understand that he was a great man who deserved to be happy? Remus was a werewolf, but with Wolfsbane that was controllable! Remus forgot the potion once while he taught at Hogwarts, but that was because he had discovered the truth about Peter Pettigrew and was confronting him and Sirius.

The night at Tonks’ apartment, Remus had confided in her that hope had burst back into his life that night at Hogwarts. A large part of him had withered away when Sirius was sent to Azkaban. The discovery that his trust in Sirius was indeed not undeserved was a miracle in his life. Remus had almost died after Sirius went to Azkaban because he could not see any use in living. Remus’ friends were all dead or traitors. The betrayal by Peter cut him to the core, but discovering that Sirius was not a betrayer and murderer had at least brought some happiness back in his life.

Remus also revealed to Tonks a story that he had not entrusted to anyone else. The night James and Lily Potter were killed, Remus had started to fall into a deep depression. When he heard that the betrayer was Sirius and that Sirius had murdered Peter, depression had spiraled into despair. Remus went out into the night and cursed the half moon that hung high in the sky. The moon that was his enemy, that caused him to turn into a monster when it was full each month. Remus’ life could never be normal, but now all his friends that had given him hope to continue living were gone. Remus told Tonks about how he had run down the road to escape the memories of his friends and had fallen to his knees sobbing. When Remus had recovered he looked up and saw an inn several hundred yards in front of him, just off the road. The sign read “The Green Dragon”. Remus had stumbled to his feet and started to turn away when a mysterious old man had come out of the inn and invited him to stay there a while. Remus had never completed telling Tonks about the inn. The story had been interrupted by the kiss that they had almost shared.

Tonks thought about Remus and the stories he had shared with her that night as she patrolled the Hogwarts grounds each day. Each full moon Tonks thought about the transformation Remus underwent and wished she could undo the curse. One day in the spring, Tonks was patrolling when she ran into Kingsley, another Auror, who was also patrolling the grounds that day. Kingsley stopped to talk a few minutes. He told Tonks about one of the latest cases in the Auror office, a young boy had been bit the last full moon by Greyback. That shot panic through Tonks’ heart and she found herself running for the castle to find Dumbledore. When Tonks arrived at the castle she discovered that Dumbledore was not there, but was away. Tonks heart fell and despair consumed her. Tonks ran into Harry in the corridor, but barely remembered the conversation.

Tonks stumbled out of the castle and out to the road. Wandering ahead with fear and worry in her heart for Remus. Tonks knew that it was Greyback who had turned Remus into a werewolf, and now another young child would go through the pain and turmoil of lycanthropy. Would he too turn away from happiness because of some misguided need to protect the woman for which he had feelings?

Tears were streaming down Tonks face by now and she fell to her knees in despair, howling her frustrations into the night. Why was she not good enough for Remus? Why was happiness forever banned from her life? Why was it proscribed from Remus’ life? Why could she not make Remus understand that she loved him and was able to make decisions for herself? Why was another life destroyed during the last full moon? Another child that would have to suffer with the pain of transformation, would become an uncontrollable beast one day of each month as long as he lived? Tonks was in despair and almost wished that a Death Eater would come out of the night and send her to be with Sirius.

“Excuse me young lady, what could have caused you so much pain that you scream into the darkness and disrupt those abed? Come with me and we’ll get you a nice mug of ale and discuss your problems,” said a mysterious old man that seemed to have appeared out of nowhere next to Tonks. The man had a jolly face that seemed to be laughing even though he had a serious look on his face. There was also an air of wisdom about him. Just looking at him made Tonks want to share her life story with him and to ask his advice about every problem she had ever had. He was short but lean in stature. He was holding a cane that looked like it could also be a staff that he leaned on lightly as he walked. His clothes were simple, but well made and of very good quality.

Tonks blinked up at the man and wondered from where he had come. The tears were still streaming down her face, but the old man helped her to her feet. He guided her towards an inn that was several hundred feet in front of her on the right. The sign post read “The Green Dragon”. Tonks gasped as she saw the sign. The old man looked up at her face with a knowing look in his eye.

“This is the Green Dragon and my name is Blenkinsop Waterbut. I am the owner.”

“I have a friend that told me he had been to your inn, but never completed telling me his story. His name is Remus Lupin,” said Tonks.

“What occurs at the Green Dragon is for each individual to hold in his or her heart and to share with whomever they deem appropriate. I remember Remus. He has visited the Green Dragon several times through the years, but to find out more you’d have to talk to him,” counseled the old man as he gently guided Tonks through the front door of the inn.
Chapter 3: The Longing Heart by Cwiddy
Author's Notes:
Thank you so much to my betas!! Evie and Sandy!! Thanks also to Cheshlin, who always has the first read of my stories and poems!



As Tonks entered the battered door to the Green Dragon Tavern with Blenkinsop Waterbut at her side, she felt more awake then she had felt in a long time, almost as if she was hit with a bucket of freezing cold water to wake her up. As she walked through the door she took a closer look at the man at her side. He was a small yet jolly looking man. His hair was still thick and orange fading to white in color. It looked a bit messy; like he didn’t care that it was not neatly brushed. Dressed in a bright green tunic shirt over dark brown trousers, he had a black belt around his waste and wore a silver necklace of a dragon intertwined with a phoenix about his neck.

As Tonks turned her gaze from the man, she gasped as she looked at her surroundings. Somehow, she had been expecting a tavern room full of drunken wizards and witches sitting at tiny booths or tables. In her mind, there should have been a bar at the back of the room for the staff to prepare the food, which would smell of stale beer or fish.

What she saw was a cheerful woman who came rushing up to pull her into a hug, as if she was a long lost daughter who had finally come home. There was a scent of fresh baked bread and apple pie straight from the oven. There were couches and comfortable looking chairs set in circles around circles of earth that held beautiful flowers and plants. Holes were cut in the varnished wood flooring to allow the plants to grow. Glancing up to see how plants could grow without sunlight, she saw windows all over the ceiling that reflected the small camp fires that also were dispersed through out the room within the circles formed by the couches, chairs, and flowers. Small tables were next to the benches to place things on. Tonks swore she could almost feel a warm summer breeze dancing through the room as she was lead to one of the benches.

The woman who had greeted her gently pushed her into one of the chairs with a grin on her face. The woman was small, petite, but the warm glow that came out from her cheeks could warm any heart! She was sturdy looking and dressed in a plain but beautiful green robe that had simple trim of roses about the neckline and had a black belt around her waste. She wore a necklace that matched Blenkin’s with the dragon and phoenix intertwined together. “I knew you the moment you walked through the door! You must be Nymphadora Tonks! I have heard so much about you! It also does not surprise me to find you a guest here, knowing Remus as I do. My name is Nelly Waterbut and I know Blenkinsop has introduced himself. You can call him Blenkin, everyone does. Excuse me while I go find you a bit of dinner, you must be famished!” said Nelly as she rushed off towards the back of the room.

Tonks was still staring about her, seeing a few others in the room, but not able to quite make out any faces.

“Privacy means a lot to our guests. There is a magic about my little tavern here that will allow people to see those they must or who could give them some advice with their problems; otherwise, anonymity is treasured,” said Blenkin, as if he were reading her mind.

Tonks got her first good look at the jolly little man, who seemed to start glowing upon entering his tavern. He was a small-framed man, but there was an energy about him that Tonks just could not explain. His presence more then filled the room in which she sat. In fact she almost forgot she was in a room and not out in a meadow sitting at a campfire. The warmth from the fire was causing her fingers and toes to tingle after being out in the winter cold for so long. Her tears were drying upon her cheeks and she glanced down at herself expecting to see her tattered clothing from her dash down the road, but instead found herself wearing a plain white dress that was soft and beautiful in its simplicity.

“You looked like you needed something less tattered to wear,” explained Blenkin with a wink as he passed her a bowl of warm water and a washcloth. Tonks looked at him in surprise. “To wash your face with, my dear. I’m sure those tears will come again, but they need not remain for the moment.”

After Tonks washed her face, Nelly returned with some stew and corn bread. Much to her surprise, she did feel hungry as the scent of the stew reached her nose. The corn bread reminded her of weekends of baking with her mother as a young girl. There were times she really missed those days! Soon the food was all eaten and she looked up to see Blenkin and Nelly smiling down at her.

“Now off to get some sleep young lass,” said Blenkin, “You have much to do come the morn.” He helped her to her feet and guided her to a set of stairs that led to a second level she had not seen when entering. In fact, looking about the room it seemed to have changed, the fires fading as she walked up the stairs. Tonks barely remembered being escorted to a room that had the blankets and sheets turned down for her. She was shown the bathroom and the jolly couple disappeared, but the energy about them remained to cheer her heart. She quickly relieved herself and then fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

********************************************************

Tonks awoke the next morning and snuggled into the sheets. They seemed so soft! |She wondered why she had awoken. Then she heard the gentle tapping at her door. She sat up and called, “Come in!”

Nelly came in carrying a tray of bacon, eggs, toast, oatmeal, fresh fruit, orange juice, and a big glass of milk. “I thought you could use a good breakfast this morning! Eat up and when you are ready come down, Blenkin and I will explain to you a little about our tavern here,” said Nelly as she set the tray down on the bed. “There is a clean gown in the closet there for you to change into after you eat.” Then Nelly smoothed Tonks’ hair out of her eyes and disappeared out the door again.

I’ll never be able to eat all of this, thought Tonks, as she tasted a bit of everything on the tray. She didn’t realize how hungry she was until she realized she had consumed everything. Thinking back on her life recently, she realized that she hadn’t been eating much and maybe it was finally starting to catch up with her; she really couldn’t make herself eat as depressed as she was lately. Until entering this tavern and waking up refreshed for the first time in months, she had not noticed just how depressed and worried she had been. Tonks made a promise to herself to try to deal with things better in the future.

After Tonks had eaten and washed up, she found herself back in the common room of the inn. In the daylight she saw just how beautiful the tavern was as she admired the beautiful murals along all the walls. The different styles seemed to add to the beauty, contrasting with each other. Art from centuries past flowed into art from the present and the sun streamed down from the windows in the ceiling. There was a bar at the back of the room, although she did not see it at first, since it blended into the mural that surrounded it on both sides. The wood was delicately carved with dragons and phoenixes, roses and thorns; the statues surrounding it were of dragons and phoenixes; and figures in garb from many different time periods were highlighted at the back where most bars keep their liquors.

When she reached the last step of the stairs, Blenkin was there to greet her with a hug. He reminded her of a sweet old grandfather, who doted on his grandchildren. He guided her back to the chair that she had been sitting in the evening before.

As she sat, Nelly was there with a glass of hot tea for each of them. Nelly and Blenkin sat on couch right at Tonks side. They faced her and Blenkin said, “'Tis only troubled hearts and minds that find their way here. 'Tis the reason we made this tavern of ours. To give hope and confidence back to those who have lost them. To bring those in the deepest despair a shoulder to cry on and a place of peace in which to face the issues that otherwise they hide from. After a few good meals and a good night’s rest, it is time for you to work through your troubles. Know that you are safe here and that Nelly and I are here to support you through this darkness.

“There are three doors for you to walk through today. One will take you to the past, one to the present, and one to the future. Guidance for the issues in your heart and mind will you find through these doors. Take your time between each door to gather yourself together. Know that there are those who love you and who are there with you always. We will give you a few moments in which to think about what brought you here, but then it will be time to face your problems, your heart, and your mind,” said Blenkin as he and Nelly both stood up to give her a few moments in which to think.
Chapter 4: Road to Hope by Cwiddy
Author's Notes:
This is J.K. Rowling's universe and I'm just expanding on it.
This section contains excerpts during door to the present scene that includes conversations with a few changes from Half-Blood Prince between Ron, Hermione, and Harry from pages 467-468 of the American Hardback Edition.



Tonks sat in her chair almost in a trance. She thought about Remus, how much she cared for him, how much she worried about him, and finally, how strongly she knew she loved him. Tonks reflected on how Remus had turned away from her. He had almost run from her and decided that he must never be allowed to be happy. Remus was changed by that evil werewolf Greyback, she thought cursing the dreaded werewolf man, but Remus had not let that curse live his life for him. Remus had gone to school after the bite, had made a lot of good friends. He had many adventures with those friends.

Tonks knew that one of the things that he feared most by having feelings for her was that all his other friends had been killed in the cause against Voldemort. First, he had lost James and Lily; then he thought he had lost Sirius to evil and Peter to death. He had hope again when he learned that Peter was still alive and that Sirius was innocent, but then had to face losing Sirius all over again, this time to death.

Tonks was aware that the biggest fear of his was the loss of control he felt when he transformed into a werewolf. He feared harming his students when he was a professor, and harming her if he ever forgot to take his Wolfsbane Potion. Tonks knew the risks, but she also knew that he would never deliberately hurt anyone. Remus had a heart of gold and deserved to have a family of his own, to be a father and nurture his own children. Remus deserved the chance to let her love him!

As this thought rang through her head, Blenkin was again there in front of her. “'Tis time to face the past, my lass,” he said to her as he guided her towards a door she did not remember seeing before tucked under the staircase.

The door was carved with hourglasses and lines that seemed to portray the passage of time, but in this case, the arrows next to the lines pointed backwards. She was fascinated by the beauty of the door itself, the deep mahogany wood stood out and the carvings almost seemed to move across the wood grain. He put her hand on the ivory door knob and backed away, smiling at her in encouragement.

“Go ahead, that is the door to the past and nothing will change what has been, but we can learn from it all the same,” said Blenkin.

Tonks turned away from him, pushed open the door, and stepped through.

************************************************************

Tonks found herself in a wooded meadow; a small terrified boy crouched in front of her. The setting sun was over his shoulder in the west. A wild looking man with yellow eyes stood in front of the boy laughing. “Revenge upon your father is mine tonight,” yelled the man as his body stiffened, and a look of pain filled his face. The boy started to run into the tree line away from the man. The man only laughed harder. “Run as fast as you want boy, the son of Lupin will live up to his name tonight! I always enjoy the hunt!” yelled the man after the boy. His last word was cut short by the moon peaking out over the horizon and he transformed into a werewolf.

Tonks gasped in horror. This had to be the night that Greyback had bit Remus. That boy must be Remus. How could she stop this? She had to stop this! Tonks stepped out in front of the werewolf, but he ran right through her.

Then she remembered Blenkin’s parting words, “…nothing can change what has been….”

Her heart screamed within her chest, but she knew that the werewolf’s bite could not be prevented. The terror that child must have faced! She shut her eyes as she realized that she had never allowed herself to think about exactly how Remus came under the curse.

When she opened her eyes again she was no longer in the meadow. Tonks found herself standing in the room she had grown up in, her childhood bedroom. There sat her mother reading a bedtime story to a young girl. She realized that girl was herself, back when she must have been about eight.

“The end,” finished her mother, looking over at her daughter at her side. Love radiated from her mother to her younger self, who was not ready yet to go to sleep.

“One more story, please Mommy! I want to wait up for Daddy!” exclaimed the younger Tonks.

“You can see him in the morning, sweetie,” answered her mother.

“I think I’ll let her see me tonight! I had to make it home to say goodnight to my little girl,” said her father. The look of love that went between her Mom and Dad made the older Tonks wish she had more of those moments to remember. The look made her long for that for herself. She knew she could have that with Remus, if he would only let her.

Tonks realized that she must have closed her eyes again because when she opened them she was standing on the banks of the lake at Hogwarts. A teenage boy with Remus’ eyes sat under a tree reading when a couple of other boys came up behind him. One reminded her of Harry; she concluded it had to be James. The other was a younger, more innocent looking Sirius. The laughter that rang out about the two told of their friendship. Another boy followed behind James and Sirius and had to be Peter. The four starting laughing as Sirius pulled Remus’ book away from him. Tonks moved closer to hear what they were saying.

“Remus, what are we going to do with you! Always studying! The sun is up and the Spring Formal is right around the corner! Do you even know who you are going to ask to the Formal?” asked Sirius.

“If I go, I won’t have a date,” said Remus. “You know that I can’t have a steady girlfriend! What would she say about my…er…um…furry little problem? I’d have to tell her about it eventually!”

“Well, I don’t know about you, but I think any girl would be lucky to have you! You’re smart, a Prefect, and one of the best friends a guy could want! Why wouldn’t a girl feel lucky to have you?” asked Sirius.

“He’s right Remus,” agreed James. “Just because you have a little problem, doesn’t mean that you can’t ever be happy! There would be challenges, but everyone has those. Look at Lily and me! Lily may not talk about it much, but it hurts that her sister will not come to our wedding next year. She longs to be close to her sister and misses the companionship they had as children, but that does not mean she does not want her older sister to be out of her life! Challenges come with any relationship. You just have a few that are better defined then others!”

“A girl would be lucky to have you Remus! You are great at remembering dates, and girls love that. You’re a great friend, and you’d always be able to tell her when the full moon was,” added Peter.

“Maybe you guys are right, but I would not want to put her in any danger!” said Remus.

“Just make sure you have a house with a real strong basement door! I’ve mastered a charm that reinforces doors to sound proof my room at home, although I haven’t needed it now that I’ve been staying at James’ house on holidays, but I’m sure I could help you wherever you live after leaving Hogwarts,” Sirius pointed out.

“Thanks for cheering me up guys! Maybe there is a hope for romance in my future!” said Remus.

Tonks looked at the younger Remus and wondered if she’d be able to remind him of this day when she was ready to go back into the world. Perhaps since he had hope once in his life, it was still there, hidden under years of toil and despair of losing the friends that he joked with this day at Hogwarts.

Tonks opened her eyes again and the door she entered was in front of her again. She opened it up and was taken back to the Green Dragon . Thoughts of what she had just seen enveloped her and she wandered back to her chair to ponder these things.

************************************************************

Tonks thought about Remus and the night he was bitten by the werewolf; she contemplated the young man he was at Hogwarts. Then her thoughts turned towards her own life and the love she always saw between her parents. Her heart longed to taste that strong a love. It was a love that had stood up against oppression, enough so that her mother defied her family for her father. She grew up surrounded by that love and yearned to find for her self.

Nelly brought her some lunch as she sat and pondered these memories. They may not have all been her memories, but they were a part of her because two were a part of Remus.

************************************************************

After Tonks had eaten and sat there a little while, Blenkin approached her again.

“The past is a memory,
What makes us each whole.
Where dreams begin forming,
And strengths are unsure,”


“Ready to take a look at the present, lass?” he asked as he took her hand to help her stand once more.

“Yes, I am,” replied Tonks as she realized that she was ready.

“Well, then here we go!” said Blenkin as he lead her to another door. This one was made of glass. The etchings across the door also seemed to move but this time the lines pointed straight ahead, towards what was behind the door. “The present is happening now, and changes the future, learns from the past, but also is unchangeable,” advised Blenkin as he gently put her hand on the knob, this one was made of crystal that was cool to the touch. Tonks grasped the handle and turned it.

**********************************************************

Tonks blinked and found herself in the Great Hall at Hogwarts. She saw Harry, Ron, and Hermione eating lunch. She walked closer to the Gryffindor table and over heard their conversation.

“And what about you?” asked Hermione of Harry. “Have you been up at the Room of Requirement all this time?”

“Yep,” said Harry. “And guess who I ran into up there? Tonks!”

“Tonks?” asked Ron and Hermione in unison, looking quite surprised by the revelation from Harry.

“Yeah, she said she’d come to visit Dumbledore…” answered Harry.

“If you ask me, she’s cracking up a bit. Losing her nerve after what happened at the Ministry,” said Ron.

“It’s a bit odd,” added Hermione. “She’s supposed to be guarding the school, why’s she suddenly abandoning her post to come and see Dumbledore when he’s not even here?”

“I had a thought. You don’t think she can have been…you know…in love with Sirius?” asked Harry of the other two.

“What on earth makes you say that?” asked Hermione with a look that said she thought he was loosing his mind.

“I dunno, but she was nearly crying when I mentioned his name…and her Patronus is a big four-legged thing now. I wondered whether it hadn’t become…you know…him,” said Harry hesitantly.

“It’s a thought, but I still don’t know why she’d be bursting into the castle to see Dumbledore, if that’s really why she was here,” replied Hermione thoughtfully.

“Goes back to what I said, doesn’t it? She’s gone a bit funny. Lost her nerve. Women, they’re easily upset,” insisted Ron with a full mouth of mashed potatoes.

“And yet, I doubt you’d find a woman who sulked for half an hour because Madam Rosmerta didn’t laugh at their joke about the Hag, the Healer, and the Mimbulus mimbletonia ,” retorted Hermione as Ron glared at her.

Tonks was almost laughing at their conversation. They were right in some parts, just missing the subtle distinction between a werewolf and big black dog.


Tonks blinked and found herself standing in a dirty, run down pub surrounded by a bunch of yellow eyed men and women. This must be the werewolf pub that Remus had mentioned to her one time. A man and woman were at a table in front of her and drew her attention.

“He actually stood there in front of Fenrir and defended that Auror! Can you believe it?” asked the man of the woman.

“Does he treasure his neck at all?” asked the woman.

“Well, Remus told Fenrir that the Auror had character and did not fear werewolves and that she could hold her own. Fenrir actually laughed his agreement! Guess he’d run into her a time or two and she had put up a good fight. Remus lucked out in that argument!”

Tonks stood there in disbelief, could they be talking about her?

Tonks opened her eyes again. This time she was standing in the kitchen of the Burrow. Molly Weasley was sitting at the table crying. Arthur was sitting next to her trying to console her.

“No one has seen her in a few days Arthur! What might have become of her?” sobbed Molly. Tonks realized that her disappearance must have worried Molly. She felt a bit of remorse, but knew that she needed this journey to keep moving on with her life.

“I’m sure she’ll be fine. Dumbledore didn’t seem to be concerned when I mentioned it to him. He said something about her needing to find her will. I’m sure she’ll come back when she’s ready. She does deserve a break! She has been putting in her normal hours as an Auror, and working all her free time for the Order. I just wish that Remus would come around. I know that he cares for Tonks. He just can’t get past the fact that he’s a werewolf.”

“Her heart has been breaking for months now! No wonder she’s been working herself so hard! I wish I could help her more!” said Molly. Her tears were finally starting to abate.

Tonks blinked again and found her self facing the glass door again. She went to ponder these latest visions in her comfy chair. It seemed that everyone was worried about her. Hermione, Harry, Ron, Molly, and Arthur all were talking about her today. That helped brighten her spirits. At least someone out there cared!

It also seemed that Remus had risked his cover when she had been brought up…standing up for her, even in front of Fenrir Greyback. That undoubtedly was risky on his part! Nelly brought her afternoon tea as she pondered the worry of her friends and the conversation between the two werewolves.

After about an hour Blenkin was back at her side.

“Today is gone as tomorrow appears.
Now is past in a moment.
Love may fleet, and hate may wane;
Death may come, and hope appears,”


Blenkin pulled her up to guide her to the last door. He led her past the wooden door and the glass door to an opening that seemed to have no door, just an opening. He pressed her hand forward and she felt a door of…air? It was almost as if a strong wind divided the room she stood in from the future. She saw images of color, almost like rainbows that pointed towards the future of the lines that blew around the door. The handle of the door was also transparent, but felt very much real as Blenkin put her hand on it.

“The future is change with each heart beat. What is seen here may be, or may not. Dreams can become reality. Just remember that nightmares are also a form of dreams,” said Blenkin as he encouraged her forward one last time.

***********************************

Tonks stepped forward. She found herself standing next to a beautiful house. A porch wrapped around the side of the house. A boy with shaggy brown hair sat on the front porch step writing with a quill. Suddenly a little girl with bright blue hair came running out the front door and pulled the paper away from the boy. The boy looked up and yelled, “Give that back! I was writing a poem for Mommy!”

Tonks saw the yellow glow of his eyes and her breath caught in her throat. The girl ran around the boy and started taunting him, holding the paper just out of his reach as she was a little taller then him. Tonks had moved closer to get a better look of the children and she saw that the eyes of the girl were also yellow.

A voice rang out of the house that sounded a bit like her own. “Aria, give your brother back his paper! I asked you to help me get the guest house ready for tonight! Your father has been taking his potion, but you know how he hates for us to see him transform. The full moon is tonight.”

“I know Mommy, but it’s so much more fun when he stays in the house with us. It’s like having a dog!” exclaimed the girl.

Tonks opened her eyes and found herself in front of the door again. She wanted to go back and learn more about these children! She hoped that this future was true!

Tonks opened the door and made her way back to her chair. She was allowing hope to finally have a place in her heart again. A bit more color was in her cheeks, but her hair remained a dull brown. Not until Remus gave way and stopped making excuses would she be truly happy, but at least she had found hope. Blenkin and Nelly soon joined her for a hearty dinner.

“Fleeting is that,
Which has yet to come.
Dreams and hopes
of the morrow dawns.


“You may stay one more night in your room, but I think in the morning you’ll be ready to be on your way,” said Blenkin with a nod to Nelly.

“What you have seen here is for you to share with whomever you wish. Or you can hold it in your heart to get you through the tough times,” reminded Nelly. They ushered Tonks back to her room for another good night of rest. The next morning she thanked them heartily and then was on her way. Hope was restored to get her through until she could talk to Remus again.
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