Chapter 22: Past Mistakes
Snow was falling slowly to the ground, renewing the thick layer that the students of Hogwarts, School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, had already discovered that morning, after they had taken a look out of the windows of their dorms. Their excited chatter had rung through the Great Hall that morning and at lunch, as the students had been discussing their plans for the late afternoon, when they were free of any classes. The term snowball fight had fallen more than once and this was the reason, why Harry was carefully walking across the school grounds with the hood of his cloak pulled over his head, weaving in and out between battling groups and dodging more snowballs than he cared to count.
He was on his way to Hagrid’s hut, after having promised the half giant to come over to afternoon tea this morning, when he had met him in the halls. They hadn’t talked for quite a long time and seeing as all of his friends were otherwise busy, Harry had gratefully accepted the invitation. Though he was not looking forward to Hagrid’s rock cake.
“So, how’s life treatin’ yeh here at Hogwarts?” Hagrid asked, while he was serving Harry a huge cup of steaming tea. Somehow, some of the students had dared to prank him by ambushing him and making him the target of a whole mountain of snowballs. The culprits had escaped undetected, but somehow this didn’t bother Harry as much as it should. If he had been Snape, of course, the students would have served detention with Filch for the next few months. But fortunately, Snape wasn’t teaching at Hogwarts “ at least not yet.
Taking a sip from the hot liquid in the cup, Harry relished in the comforting warmth that spread through his body. His cloak was hung up to dry in front of Hagrid’s fireplace “ Harry always thought that his drying spells caused his clothes to become somewhat stiff - and he had also taken off his drenched robe, leaving him just sitting in his black shirt and his black jeans. “It’s alright. I just never thought that teaching a bunch of kids could be this time consuming.” A low chuckle escaped his lips. “I really should have given my old professors a bit more credit… However, I’m glad the first term will be over soon. I really do need some holidays.”
Hagrid laughed and Harry couldn’t keep the grin from his face. “Don’ let Hermione hear yeh say that. I believe she don’t wan’ the term to en’.”
“’Mione visited you?” Harry asked, as he took the cup with both hands and raised it to his lips. This tea really warmed him up from the inside, much better than the fire in the fireplace did. He silently wondered, if Hagrid had maybe put some of old Ogden’s good stuff into the teapot.
“Yeah, she did. Yeh should’ve heard the argument between her an’”“ Suddenly, Hagrid paused, his eyes wide.
Harry blinked confused, wondering why Hagrid had stopped in mid-sentence, but then it hit him and he knew what his big friend had almost told him. Almost spitting out the tea and dropping the cup, he sputtered, “You- you know who Hermione’s boyfriend is?”
The half giant immediately turned his gaze away, muttering under his breath something like, “Shouldn’t’ve said anythin’… Should’ve jus’…”
Harry couldn’t believe it. Here he was, after almost six weeks, still not knowing the identity of Hermione’s secret admirer, whereas Hagrid already seemed to have known for at least a few days. He couldn’t help feeling hurt after this revelation “ after all, Hermione was one of his best friends, and Hagrid, though a good friend in their own time, was just an acquaintance in this one. They didn’t have this ten-year old friendship they had in their own time. So why would Hermione bring her mysterious boyfriend along to visit Hagrid?
“Yeh’re angry wit’ me now, aren’ yeh?”
Looking up startled after having been torn out of his musings, Harry noticed that Hagrid was just about to pull his towel-sized handkerchief out of his pockets to blow his nose. Being immediately regretful, he tried his best to comfort the sentimental half-giant. “It’s okay, Hagrid. You just surprised me, that’s all. It’s not your fault.”
“B-but I told yeh…”
“No, you didn’t.” And Harry knew that he was right. Hagrid really hadn’t told him. “You just said that Hermione was here with… someone. It was me, who concluded that it must have been her boyfriend. So, look at me, Hagrid.” The groundskeeper looked at Harry with watery beady eyes. “This. Is. Not. Your. Fault.”
“But…”
“Not. Your. Fault.” Harry repeated one more time and was relieved, when Hagrid eventually nodded and blew his nose with a loud and sniffy noise. Once the handkerchief was again stowed away in its pocket, the young wizard was glad to see that Hagrid had regained his composure. Shaking his head slightly, he once again took a sip of the tea. “You don’t have anything stronger than this, do you?” he asked with a sheepish grin on his face, motioning with his head to the liquid in the gigantic cup.
A booming laugh escaped Hagrid’s lips and he got up to get a half-full bottle of a brown liquid from one of the cupboards above the fireplace. The fleeting thought that something as alcoholic as Firewhiskey shouldn’t be stored so close to fire crossed Harry’s mind, but he quickly shook it off. He really shouldn’t be surprised “ it was Hagrid, after all.
Once there was a glass filled with Firewhisky standing next to the cup of tea on the table, Harry raised his glass and took a sip, relishing the burning sensation in his throat in contrast to the icy cold outside. This was really much better than tea “ even if it was a bit spiked. After he had drained the first glass completely, Harry began to feel slightly calmer, which was a good thing, considering the inner turmoil he had gone through only a few minutes ago. “You know, the thing is, I don’t even know why ‘Mione is keeping it from us.”
“She’s jus’ worried,” Hagrid replied, regarding Harry with a sympathetic look on his face. “At leas’ that’s what she tol’ me, when I ask’d her.”
With a shake of his head, Harry sighed. “She shouldn’t be worried. We’ve been friends for ten years and when she’s happy, I’m happy for her. It’s as simple as that.” Another sigh followed and this time, Harry massaged his forehead. “But I can understand her, at least a bit. I don’t think she’s overly worried about my reaction, but she’s worried about Ron’s and that I might tell him, if she tells me.”
Upon noticing the confused look on the other man’s face, yet another sigh escaped his lips, along with his usual gesture of nervousness. His hand went through his dark messy hair, causing a few strands to loosen from the tight ribbon that kept it out of his face. Things were already too complicated to add this to the pile, but Harry knew that he owed Hagrid an explanation. It was going to be difficult, though, to not divulge any information that might betray that they were not from this time.
“The summer before our sixth year at school”, he began hesitantly, careful to choose his words wisely, “Ron and Hermione got together, as a couple, I mean. The three of us have been friends since our first year, and when I look back on it now, I believe that they already had a crush on each other back then. However, it has taken them five years to finally figure it out. I don’t know, who made the first step, most-likely Hermione. I just know that I visited Ron over the summer and noticed their strange behaviour, whenever I was in a room with the two of them.”
Harry chuckled, as he remembered one particular funny scene. It was simply too cliché to not think it was funny. He had just come back to the Burrow after having brooded a whole afternoon about Sirius and the prophecy that Dumbledore had dropped on him at the end of the previous term, and about what he should do now, when he had stepped into Ron’s room, as usual without knocking, and suddenly noticed that his two friends were standing in opposite corners of the room, apparently out of breath. He hadn’t paid this much attention then, having still been too engaged in his own thoughts. First, when those weird events had somehow accumulated had he taken notice of them and begun to find out, what had been wrong.
“It took me a whole of three days to find out that they’ve been trying to hide the new development in their relationship from me. They… they didn’t want to hurt me by showing me that something good has finally happened in their life, while my life had just taken another harsh blow.” Ignoring Hagrid’s questioning glance, Harry simply continued, “I’ve been happy for them, of course. And I told them this. I admit, it was weird at first, but I got used to it quickly. At least it diverted their attention a bit from me, for which I was glad at this time.
“However… It shouldn’t last… When we returned to school in September, we found out that we had a new teacher for DADA and that we knew him. In our fourth year, a few exchange students came to our school. He was one of them, a seventh year at the time of the exchange program. Viktor, that’s his name, and Hermione had been going out a few times back then and remained in contact after the year was over. Ron was incredibly jealous of their, well, relationship, and this jealousy returned full force, when Viktor was introduced as new teacher. Though Hermione had broken up with him sometime halfway through our fifth year, I think, they still got along very well.
“As I already said, Ron was extremely jealous, most-likely afraid that Hermione would leave him for Vicky, and this showed. Whereas they have always bickered a lot, their fights became more and more frequent and also worse as the school year progressed. Viktor and I, we were often caught in the middle of this. I, because both of them wanted me to take a side, and Viktor for obvious reasons. Both can be incredibly hot tempered and pigheaded, Ron even more so than ‘Mione. Now that I think about it, it’s always been Hermione and Ron, or me and Ron that argued about something or other. Once or twice our fights went even so far that we didn’t speak to each other for several weeks.
“But the catalyst for the biggest fight ever between Ron and Hermione, a huge argument in the middle of our common room, was a gift Hermione had bought for Viktor for Christmas “ a simple gesture of friendship on her part, but for Ron it was some kind of betrayal. It wasn’t pretty to watch this,” Harry told Hagrid gravely, staring down at the brown liquid in his glass. “Imagine your two best friends throwing accusations and insults at each other, words that run too deep to be simply taken back. At the moment when Ron called ‘Mione a Mudblood, I just knew that it was over. According to Ron, no one, simply no one, was allowed to call her this.” Raising his head, he gazed directly into the half-giants beady eyes and said with a voice filled with regret, “Their relationship didn’t survive this fight.”
~*~
It was already dark, when Harry returned from the hut into the castle and he only met a few students on his way to the common room, who were most likely hurrying to the Great Hall for dinner. For a moment he pondered, if he should also have some dinner in the Great Hall, but eventually decided against it. Feeling the effects of the Firewhiskey in his blood, Harry thought it would be better, if he just returned to his quarters.
After he had told the portrait their password, he stepped into the deserted common room. Thinking that the others were probably still in the Great Hall, Harry took off his cloak and slumped down on the couch and stared into the blazing fire, lost in his thoughts “ thoughts about a love that had been destroyed and about a friendship that had almost found its end at the same time.
For months after the fight that had ended the relationship of Ron and Hermione, the two of them hadn’t exchanged one word with each other. It had been worse than after the Crookshank-Scabbers-incident and also worse than the first jealousy induced fight about Krum. Once again, Harry had been caught in the crossfire, so he had done the same thing as Viktor “ he had pulled back from both of them and spent this time in the library to study and prepare for the inevitable encounter with Voldemort. The Slytherins had been more than happy with this development “ the Golden Trio had been split.
Hermione and Ron had still been on non speaking terms, when the school year had ended and the three of them went their own ways “ Ron to the Burrow, Hermione to her parents and Harry back to the Dursleys. Viktor Krum had, after having been the reason for so many problems, resigned his post as Defence against the Dark Arts teacher at the end of the year.
The summer at the Dursleys had definitely been different compared to the other summers Harry had had to spend there after the term at Hogwarts ended. For one, he had turned seventeen that summer, making him a legal adult in the wizarding world, and it also had to have been the quietest summer he had ever experienced. The Dursleys did their best to avoid him, as his aunt Petunia had told her husband and son that Harry would be able to do magic out of school once he was seventeen, so they didn’t want to get on his wrong side out of fear that he might hex them, once he was allowed to.
However, that year Vernon Dursley hadn’t even had a reason to shout at Harry at all. Harry had stayed up in his room most of the time, grabbing a snack when he wouldn’t meet any of the Dursleys, or went out to the occasional Order meeting at Grimmauld Place. Add to that the surprising lack of arriving or parting owls and the inhabitants of Privet Drive Number four could pretend that their freak nephew didn’t even exist, which suited Harry just fine. Immersed in his studies, Harry ignored the two or three owls that did arrive, including the birthday cards and presents from Ginny, Neville, Luna and Hagrid. He had just crammed them all along with his other stuff into his trunk and had apparated to Diagon Alley at midnight to live at the Leaky Cauldron until term started again, despite the repeated invitation from Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, who he still met at the Order meetings, to spend the rest of the holidays at the Burrow.
Even though Harry had felt lonelier than ever, he had thought that using Ron’s and Hermione’s fight to distance himself from them and everyone else had been the right thing to do. He had still felt sorry for the lost friendship, especially the one between Ron and Hermione, but as long as they were with him, they would always be a target. After having it repeated this over and over again in his head for the last few months, Harry had almost been ready to believe that they were better off without him and that, once he had broken all ties he had with them, they would think the same way about him.
However, he couldn’t have been more wrong, as the trip to Hogwarts on September 1 on the Hogwarts Express had proven.
He arrived at King’s Cross at Platform Nine and Three Quarters one hour early, glad to see scarlet train already waiting, and disappeared in a compartment at the far back of the train, placing a notice-me-not-charm on himself. Soon the first students dashed or strolled through the barrier, meeting up with friends and exchanging stories of their summers. A wistful smile appeared on Harry’s face, when a group of redheads, accompanied by Tonks and Lupin, stepped onto the platform. Mr. and especially Mrs. Weasley appeared to be looking for him, obviously expecting him to meet them. Even Ron and Ginny let their eyes travel over the quickly growing crowd, and Harry’s heart suddenly started to beat faster, when Ginny stopped directly next to the window of the compartment in which he was sitting, and seemed to be staring directly at him, directly into his eyes for two incredibly long seconds, until she turned her attention back to her family to say goodbye.
Only a few minutes after Ron and Ginny had boarded the train, Harry saw Hermione, who was alone and got on the train without further ado. Something had happened that had not happened since their first year “ the Golden Trio was on the Hogwarts Express but in three different compartments.
During the first hour of the trip, his compartment door was opened a few times, but closed quickly again, courtesy of the notice-me-not-charm. It wasn’t until one or two in the afternoon, when the door was once again opened, but this time it remained open. Raising his head, Harry found himself staring into a pair of blazing brown eyes. Ginny Weasley was standing in the doorway, brandishing her wand and saying, “Finite Incantatem!” At once Harry felt a strange sensation in his body and knew immediately that she could see him as clearly as he saw her.
None of them said anything at first and Harry just stared stoically at her, hoping that she would get the message and leave him be. But he really should have known better, because Ginny finally resolutely walked up to him and used the element of surprise to grab his arm and pull him to his feet. “Come. Follow me,” she ordered and gave him a hard look, which told him that he had no other choice.
Swallowing hard, Harry let himself be led out of his compartment, the whole time completely aware of the tight grip she had on his arm. He felt a sudden warmth rise in his cheeks and he lowered his gaze to the ground. What was wrong with him?
After they had walked through two cars, Ginny stopped so abruptly in front of a compartment that Harry almost walked into her. She let go of him and pushed the door open, before stepping inside with her arms crossed over her chest. Looking over her head, Harry saw the familiar brown and slightly bushy hair of his once best female friend. She was also alone in her compartment. “Hermione,” Ginny said, finally getting the other girl’s attention.
“Ginny,” Hermione replied surprised, closing the book that was lying on her lap. “Hi… Oh, hello Harry…” she trailed off, when she spotted the dark haired teenager in the corridor. However, he only nodded at her.
“You’re not busy, are you?” Ginny asked her sweetly, but didn’t wait for an answer, as she continued in the same tone that she had already used on Harry, “Good. Come with us.”
Trusting the stunned girl to follow them, Ginny turned on the spot and walked further down the corridor into another car. Harry und Hermione exchanged a confused look, before they eventually followed the redhead. When they finally caught up with her, she was already standing in front of another compartment and obviously arguing with one of its occupants.
“I don’t care, if you’re in the middle of a game of Exploding Snap! This is more important!” they heard her yell. She glanced at him and Hermione with a smirk on her face and then turned her full attention back to the one she was fighting with. “I’m sorry Neville, but you, Dean and Seamus have to look for another compartment. It’s all for the greater good, believe me.”
Harry narrowed his eyes at Ginny, having a bad feeling about this. Hermione seemed to be thinking along the same lines, as she also had a very suspicious look on her face. After a few seconds and a few more arguments thrown back and forth, Ginny stepped back with a smug grin on her face to allow Seamus, Dean and a sheepish looking Neville to walk past her.
“And now,” the red-haired girl said to them strictly, “go in there and sit down.” Still not daring to disobey her orders, Harry sighed quietly and slipped into the compartment, not all that surprised to see Ron sitting there at the window, sulking. He heard the gasp behind him and knew that Hermione had also spotted him. Nonetheless, she seemed to gather all of her Gryffindor courage and stepped into the compartment behind him. They both sat down on the seats opposite of Ron and watched Ginny, as she placed a locking charm on the door and a silencing charm around the compartment, before joining them on Ron’s side. “Alright, now you’re going to talk.”
A heavy silence settled over the compartment, a silence so thick that Harry wondered for a split second, if Ginny hadn’t messed up the silencing charm, placing it on them rather than on the compartment. He glanced at Hermione out of the corners of his eyes, noticing that she was looking down at her hands, which she had clasped tightly in her lap, and then over to Ron, who was still resolutely staring out of the window, ignoring all of them. It was obvious that none of them wanted to be there and yet Harry couldn’t suppress this nagging feeling that this meeting was long overdue.
For the first few minutes no one had said anything, no one had wanted to make the first step, until Ginny had suddenly jumped up and given each of them a piece of her mind. Truly each of them. Harry had been glad that Ginny had performed the silencing charm before beginning her tirade, because he had been sure that the whole student body would have gathered in front of their compartment to find out what was going on there, if she hadn’t done this. His ears had been ringing for hours afterwards.
Ginny Weasley was truly the daughter of her mother and had shown this during her long and accusing speech about how they had messed up. Neither Harry, Ron nor Hermione had gotten off lightly. Ginny had pointed out each and every mistake they had made, while reminding them the whole time of the friendship they had once shared, and had told them off for how they had acted “ Ron for his jealousy, Hermione for her stubbornness and Harry for using their conflict to distance himself from them.
Harry had been the last one being on the receiving end of her anger, trying to keep the mask of indifference on his face, though he was already wondering, if what he had done had been the right thing to do. Ron and Hermione had already admitted defeat to Ginny and had their heads hanging low in embarrassment. This feeling only intensified, when Ginny seemed to find exactly the right words to get to him, just as she had already managed with Ron and Hermione.
When Ginny had finally been finished with him, the mask had been gone, replaced by an insecure look, as he had glanced up at her. He had been surprised to see a small smile on her face, but she had obviously been pleased with her work. After having given him an encouraging nod, as if saying that it was now up to them, she had turned around, undoing the locking charm in the process, and left the compartment.
The silence she had left in her wake had been thick and uncomfortable, as they still had had no idea what to say. It had taken a few more minutes, until Ron had suddenly cleared his throat and said, “So, uhm… Chocolate Frog, anyone? It’s my treat…” He had stuck his hand deep in his pocket and fished out some Sickles and Knuts, counting them in his hand to make sure that he had enough, before he had looked up at Harry and Hermione with an expectant look on his face.
Much to Harry’s surprise, Hermione had beaten him to answer Ron. She had given her ex-boyfriend a soft and grateful smile and said, “That would be nice, thank you, Ron.” Harry hadn’t been able to suppress a small smile at this. Hermione might not have forgotten what Ron had said and done to her, but she had forgiven him for this.
“What about you, Harry?” Ron had asked him uncertainly, though his spirits had lifted a bit after Hermione’s positive reaction to his offer.
Harry had met his gaze and had eventually nodded. “Yeah, thanks… mate…”
Harry still didn’t know how it had happened, but suddenly, the moment Ron had gotten up to look for the witch with the tea trolley, both of them had found themselves in an almost bone-breaking group hug with a laughing and crying Hermione. Harry and Ron, both a few inches taller then her, had only exchanged a quick grin.
The first step had been done. It had still taken almost a half year to rebuild the friendship all three of them had helped to destroy, but in the end they were closer than ever before, though it had been obvious from the beginning of this long and strenuous process that Ron and Hermione would never be more than friends again.
Of course news had the tendency to travel fast at Hogwarts, so by the beginning of the Welcoming Feast everyone had known that the Golden Trio had been reunited. The whole Gryffindor table had even applauded, as they all three together had entered the Great Hall.
Later that night, Harry was sitting in front of the fire in the common room, thinking about how unexpected this day had turned out. Everyone else was already up in the dorms “ or in Hermione’s case in the chambers of Headgirl and Headboy “ and Harry just needed some time alone. He didn’t notice the soft footsteps coming down the stairs from the girls’ dormitories, so he was a bit surprised to see Ginny standing at the foot of the stairs, when she quietly cleared her throat to get his attention.
“Hey…” he simply said. He wouldn’t have been able to say more anyway, seeing as suddenly a big lump had appeared in his throat, when he had seen that she had simply been wearing a pair of muggle shorts and a rather tight T-shirt. The shadows of the dying fire were playing on her face and something began to move in his chest, something he had never felt there before. Swallowing hard to get rid of the lump, he got up from the sofa. “Why are you still up?”
Shrugging, she replied, “Couldn’t sleep. You?”
“The same,” Harry answered with a grin, but suddenly became serious. “Ginny… What you did today… It was…”
“Yeah?”
There was once again this hard look in her eyes, challenging him “ to do what, he didn’t know… Maybe she thought that he was angry about what she had done, about the way she had interfered. But maybe it was something else entirely. Whatever it was, the thing in Harry’s chest responded and without knowing what he was doing, or why he was doing it, he crossed the distance between them and just kissed her, forgetting everything around him.
He knew his cheeks were flushed, when he ended the kiss, but he didn’t care. Ginny’s lips were parted slightly, as if inviting him to end what he had started, but Harry knew better than to give in to those urges. Instead, he simply smiled down at her and whispered, “Thank you…”
He took a step back, reluctantly letting go of her. His eyes searched hers, fully expecting to see the anger and the hurt that he had inflicted upon her by doing this, by pulling away, but what he saw surprised him yet again. Yes, there was regret, yes, there was pain, however, there was also understanding. She understood that, as long as there was a war waging outside these walls, this kiss had been a one time thing.
Gently tugging a stray stand of hair behind her ear, Harry took in her face, berating himself for not having noticed her earlier, when he hadn’t carried yet the weight of the wizarding world on his shoulders. But maybe, maybe when this was over, and if he was still alive, he might get another chance with her. Turning around without another word, he walked back to the stairs that led to the boys’ dormitories, only stopping briefly, when Ginny called his name. He looked back over his shoulder to see her smile.
“You’re welcome.”
Harry slowly woke up, when he heard the portrait open and someone come inside. He blearily blinked a few times, noticing that the fire was almost burnt down, but didn’t move yet. He wondered how late it was, but just as he wanted to sit up and make his presence known to whoever had just arrived, he heard Hermione whisper, “We’re alone…”
Alone? Of course, the couch in front of the fireplace was so large that she couldn’t see him. But she didn’t seem to be alone. Suddenly his eyes widened and he quickly closed them again, feigning sleep, just in case they noticed him. Maybe this was his chance to find out, who her secret admire was.
However, staying still and pretending to sleep was harder than he had imagined, when noises reached his ears that he really didn’t want to hear. At least not as long as he didn’t know who was kissing Hermione.
Still, he had no other choice but to be patient, as he had to wait for them either to stop kissing or to go into Hermione’s room. At least they were moving, Harry thought relieved, when he heard the rustle of robes and steps on the floor, which were moving across the common room to the sleeping chambers.
All of sudden, Hermione gasped and Harry knew that he had been discovered. He tried to keep his breath even, hoping that they wouldn’t see through his charade.
“Don’t worry,” a male voice whispered. Harry had to use all of his self-control to keep still, when he heard this voice. He knew it, but it was impossible, wasn’t it? “He seems to be out like a light. Don’t you think he would have reacted somehow, if he had heard us?”
Harry could almost feel Hermione’s scrutinizing gaze on him for the next few seconds until he could hear her sigh. “You’re right… I’m sorry…” she whispered, though she didn’t seem to be completely convinced, if he could trust her voice. “I just wish it weren’t so hard to tell them…”
Again the sound of a kiss, and Harry had to strain his ears to listen to what was said next, but he only caught the last few words. “It’s late. Let’s go to bed and talk about this tomorrow, okay?”
Hermione didn’t answer, so Harry assumed she was nodding. A few seconds later, there were once again footsteps and then the sound of a door which was opened and closed. Silently, Harry counted until sixty and then opened his eyes again. He sat up and looked around, noticing relieved that he was alone in the common room.
A groan escaped his lips, as he buried his face in his hands. He didn’t want to believe it, though he had just heard it with his own ears.
Hermione’s secret admirer was Draco Malfoy.
Harry Potter and the Impossibility of Time Travel by ChibiChibi
Chapter Notes: I’m sooooo sorry, guys! I blame university for this late update. And of course my other stories that also need to be written. I hope you’ll still read this story, even though my updates are really slow at the moment, though I would understand, if you didn’t. However, I want to thank all of you who have reviewed and expressed the wish to read the next chapter. Actually, this chapter’s title should have been “Hermione’s Secret”, but somehow, while writing, this chapter took a completely different turn than what I had actually planned for it. However, it doesn’t influence the general plan I have for this story “ I simply added a bit of information.
Whatever, I hope you forgive me for this incredibly long wait!