“Locked inside
The only place
where you feel sheltered,
where you feel safe.
You lost yourself
In your search to find
Something else to hide behind.”
Lyrics to “Simon” by Lifehouse
Disclaimer: I own none of this world. It belongs to J.K. R. Thank you for letting my mind wander…
Chapter 4- Fate
The next few hours of the workday went by slowly. Harry was not sure if he was looking forward to dinner or not. The thought weighed on his mind all day as he cut wood. It was cool outside, and it was a bit cloudy. It was funny how the weather reflected his mood. Finally, the end of the day was drawing near. He cleaned up the wood that he had cut, and brought some inside for the fire. He went up to his room to change for dinner and then met Bob at the front doors of the inn.
“Ah, James, good to see that you have decided to come. I was afraid that you might cancel on me, but it looks like you kept your promise. Shall we go then?” Bob seemed happy. Harry felt guilty about not telling Bob who he really was, but decided that it was for the best.
“Sure, I’m ready,” Harry answered. They made their way toward Bob’s car and got inside. Bob talked about his wife and daughter most of the time.
“My wife is great. Her name is Andrea and she loves to cook and help people…”
Sounds a lot like Mrs. Weasley… Harry thought.
“My daughter is the sweetest person you’ll ever meet. She has a great sense of humor and loves to talk. Her name is Sarah and she has the warmest smile…”
Oh, god, now he’s describing Ginny. I really do miss her. I shouldn’t have run away…
Bob went on and Harry’s thoughts were consuming him again. He felt a tear fall from his eye and wiped it away quickly. He wondered if Bob had noticed. Bob stopped the car and Harry figured that they had reached their destination. Bob turned to Harry with a concerned look in his eyes. Harry realized this and looked up.
“You sure you’re okay, James? You look a little glum and you haven’t said a word since we left. I understand that you want to keep me in the dark about your life, but wouldn’t you feel better if you talked about it? You can trust me.” Although the offer was kind, it was prying in Harry’s opinion. He wasn’t happy.
“No, I don’t believe that I would feel better. I also would like you to stop asking questions that I clearly do not want to answer. Besides, if I told you, you would look at me different. It would be as if I was someone else. It would be like… I don’t know, you just wouldn’t like it”don’t like it,” Harry told him. He realized what he had said, but continued anyway. “The life that I used to know is gone and it doesn’t matter how much you want to help. There is no hope for me, and all I want to do is start over. Is that too much to ask?”
“No, James, you’re right. I was wrong to keep asking questions, but I do still believe that you are wrong,” Bob stated. Then he added, “There is no need to get all defensive. Obviously, you’ve been hurt real bad, but I only wanted to help. Well, I guess we should go inside. Dinner’s waiting.”
“Hey, look, I’m sorry that I snapped at you. It’s just that too much has happened and I know that I won’t be able to, but I really just want to forget. I was just thinking about everything in the car again and I was a little caught up in my own thoughts. I really can’t wait to meet your family, they sound great.” Harry apologized because he felt guilty now. Bob was doing something nice and generous for him, and he was treating him horribly. This was not the person that he wanted to become. They got out of the car and went inside the house.
“Andrea, honey, I’m home!” Bob called out. Harry could see that they were standing in the kitchen. It was really quite nice. It had tile floor and granite counter tops. There was a stove, a dishwasher, a refrigerator, a toaster, and a microwave. He saw things that he would not have seen if he had stayed in England with the Weasleys. Harry saw some other things, too. He looked up just as a woman walked into the room. She was older, and had short brown hair. She was about average height and was wearing an apron. The woman walked over to Harry and shook his hand.
“You must be James. It’s so nice to meet you. I’m Andrea, as you’ve probably already heard. Bob has told me that you’re not from around here, so I’m curious, where did you used to live?” She definitely reminded Harry of Mrs. Weasley. Her voice sounded so caring and motherly.
“Nice to meet you, too. I’m, er, from England. This is my first time in the United States and I think I’m going to like it here,” Harry mumbled. He really did not want to give too much information. Just then, another woman walked into the room. She was younger, about Harry’s age. She was about average height, also, and had long brown hair. She was very pretty. She smiled when she saw Harry and he found that Bob was right. She did have a warm, inviting smile. Bob turned to Harry.
“This is my daughter, Sarah,” he said, turning to Sarah to introduce Harry, “Sarah, this is James. He is working for me at the inn, and he will be joining us for dinner tonight.”
“That’s great!” She exclaimed, “When is dinner going to be ready, Mom?”
“It’s going to be about a half an hour. I was kind of told on short notice,” she looked at Bob as she said this. He shrugged his shoulders. “Why?”
“Good. I’ll take James and show him around a little bit before dinner. What do you think?” She directed her question at Harry who was just looking at her in disbelief. She reminded him so much of Ginny. He couldn’t understand why.
“Oh, um, sure. That would be great,” Harry responded absentmindedly. He followed Sarah out of the room. She gave him the tour of the house and then they went upstairs. He guessed that they ended up in her room.
“So, this is your room, I suppose?” Harry asked.
“Yup. I know, it’s very messy, but I like it that way. It’s a bit too unnatural to have an excessively clean room. Well? I’m not the best tour guide, but what did you think of the tour?” She asked laughing at herself. Harry chuckled.
“It was excellent. You give good tours.”
“You’re just saying that to make me feel better. So, I’m guessing that you are from England. That’s cool, I always wanted to go to England. Do you like it there?” Sarah questioned him. Harry hated questions, but had a feeling that Sarah was not trying to interrogate him. She just wanted to be friends.
“Well, I used to like it, but I don’t anymore. That’s why I came here. I’m trying to get away from it” I’m trying to escape something that will never leave me alone,” Harry sighed. She was going to ask him about it, he could tell. Harry wasn’t sure whether he would tell her or not. After all, he had just met her and she was a complete stranger to him. He wouldn’t tell her yet, but he knew that she was the person that he would tell. He knew that she was the person that he could trust with everything. At that moment, Sarah walked over to him and just looked at him understandingly. Then she spoke.
“I’m so sorry, that’s horrible. Do you think that you are going to be okay? Did you lose someone close to you?” At that point, Harry knew that she understood. She had guessed right, but he was not sure that he was going to be okay, or exactly how to answer her question. He looked into her eyes.
“I have lost… many things. I know that I can’t get them back, but I also cannot see how I’m going to recover from this. It’s like falling, falling through an endless abyss. My whole life has been the same, and I can’t seem to escape. I just needed to leave. I don’t know, but maybe in the process, I’ve only lost more,” Harry looked away. He didn’t want Sarah to see his sadness.
“Listen to me, James. You can lose everything in the world, but as long as you have one thing, other things won’t be as bad. As long as you have hope, things will be better. As long as you don’t lose hope, things will be fine. Tell me something, James, do you believe that everything happens for a reason? Do you believe in fate?” Sarah asked him. Harry just looked at her. He did not know what to say. He gave in. It had only been two days, but he needed to tell someone. He knew that he could trust Sarah and that she would understand. He didn’t know why.
“I don’t know anymore. I have a feeling that I can trust you and that you will understand everything and I want to tell you what happened. I want to tell you why I’ve lost hope and why I’m running. First, I need to know if you can handle it because it is a lot to take in. I also will need you to keep an open mind. Most importantly, you can’t tell anyone, you’ll see why. I’m not going to tell you now. We should have dinner first and then we can go somewhere where we won’t be overheard - somewhere safe. Okay?” Harry could not believe that he was telling her this.
“Of course, you can trust me. I will not tell anyone and I know the perfect place to go. We can tell my parent that we’re stopping for…um, I don’t know…coffee before I bring you back to the inn. That will give us some time so that I am not asked questions. I’ll just volunteer to drive you back. Don’t worry, I know that I will be able to handle it. I actually don’t think that you give me enough credit. I have regrets in my past, too,” Sarah told him this as she looked up into his now brown eyes. She wasn’t smiling anymore.
“You’re right, but I have been trying to hide my regrets for years. It’s not going to be easy for me to tell you, but I’ll try. Now, I think we should go down and help with dinner. It should be ready soon, shouldn’t it? What are we having, anyway?” Harry questioned her.
“Yes, it should. We’re having spaghetti, I think. You’re really going to like it; my mom’s an excellent cook. Oh, and James, I believe that there is a reason that your journey has brought you here. I believe that there is a reason that I have met you and you have met me. I believe that fate has brought us together to help each other. We just haven’t figured it out yet.”
Sarah left the room after she said this, and Harry followed. He was thinking about what she had just said. What if she was right?
When It Seems Like All Is Lost by KateH
Chapter Notes: Thanks so much for everyone who has reviewed! I especially want to thank my beta, Snufflesismyidol, without her, there wouldn't be a chapter 4! Thank you so much! Remember, I always love to hear from my readers!