Disclaimer: Once again, I do not own any of JKR's stuff. It's hers. All of it. Except for my characters that I happen to love. :)
“Clark! You prat! You just vanished all the bones in my leg!”
Although it may seem a grave situation to see your dad’s bones vanish, all the onlookers were laughing so hard that we were doubled over, clutching our sides.
My cousins, Ed, and I were all together”a “Going Back to Hogwarts” party”watching my dad and Uncle Clark duel. Why were they dueling? Why was it so intense that Clark purposely vanished all the bones in my dad’s leg?
They both wanted the last piece of cake.
It was one of the famous Amos and Clark dueling matches”something no one wanted to miss out on. Last time, my dad ended up with flowers growing out of his ear while Clark hung upside-down from the neighbor’s weathervane. That time they were only discussing who exactly would be on the ultimate Quidditch team; this time it was over the last piece of my mum’s cake”a much more serious situation.
My dad was currently sprawled on the ground, his boneless leg folded awkwardly beneath him. He pushed himself up and threw his wand hand out as he shouted, “Frivolitus Maxima!”
At that point, Uncle Clark began skipping around the yard, smiling at the clouds, and having lovely conversations with the daisies. He started prancing our way, singing “I Wish I Were a Golden Snitch” at the top of his lungs. Aunt Louisa saw the way Clark was eyeing her and began backing away, but not quickly enough.
Clark leapt towards her with his arms wide open like some sort of bird. He snatched her into his arms, planting a large kiss on her nose before twirling her around the yard. It was a dance previously unknown to wizard-kind, the likes of which we will never see again. It was a cross between an Irish Jig, a Mambo, and a Foxtrot. We could barely hear Louisa’s frantic cries over our laughter, which had doubled since my dad had lost the bones in his leg.
“Amos! Amos, undo it! Undo whatever you did! Make him right!”
“He’s never been right,” my dad said casually. “Besides, it wears off eventually. UNLIKE MY LEG!”
Mum came out to accurately survey the damage, a huge grin spreading across her face. “Well, now that you’ve had your fun, the next cake is coming to the table. Come on in, everyone.”
“The next cake! Bridget! Bridget, help me up!” called my dad from across the yard.
Mum looked over at Dad with a twinkle in her eye. “I think you can manage,” she called. “You’ve never missed out on a piece of my cake before!”
Amos burst out laughing at his wife’s challenge.
Ed asked if we should help him in.
I smiled. “No, my dad really would never miss out on cake. Besides, it’s my mum’s cake. I would never miss out on it!”
We took one glance back at the yard. Dad was pulling with his arms and pushing with his one good leg, occasionally taking breaks to look over at Clark and Louisa. She was still being swung around the yard. Apparently the curse didn’t wear off quickly.
“I’ll have to remember that one,” Ed said as we walked in for cake. “If you ever get boring or too serious at school, you’re definitely going to get hit with a little of the Frivolitus action.”
I threw my head back, laughing. “I’ll make sure to master that vanishing bones thing, then.”
“Did your uncle mean to do that?”
“Oh, yeah. He’s a Mediwizard, remember? He knew he’d be able to fix it after; I guess he just thought he would win with that.”
“That’s awesome,” Ed replied. “I’m definitely excited to be around for the next Amos and Clark showdown, so make sure they don’t do it without me as a witness.”
“I’ll pass the word along,” I answered.
Mum handed us each a plate of cake. “Make sure you have all your things packed. We won’t be staying here tonight,” she said, attempting to suppress a smile. “It looks like we’ll be taking your father and Uncle Clark to St. Mungo’s. Clark’s in no condition to fix anything, and I very much doubt Louisa wants to be out there dancing and talking to those twinkling ‘fairies in the sky’ all night long.”
“It was the best thing I’d ever seen!” Ed said energetically as he explained to Porter what exactly had happened the night before.
Porter was the perfect audience for Ed, too. He’d witnessed some Amos and Clark action before, so he understood the gravity, or rather, the levity of the situation, and was laughing as hard as we were.
“Your dad is awesome, Cedric! It would be a shame if he ever stopped being a kid,” Porter affirmed.
I laughed before responding, “Would you really want him to?”
“Hex no!” cried Ed, suddenly becoming melodramatic. “If the adventures of Amos and Clark ever cease, I’d… I’d… I’d live in the Forbidden Forest, I would!”
We burst out with laughter again.
“Well, it was certainly was entertaining,” Ed continued. “We didn’t sleep at all last night!”
“I can see that,” Porter said, pointing to my cousin Bevan who was fast asleep on the seat next to me. “It looks like you completely wiped him out.”
“Well, we had to get him ready for Hogwarts, right?” Ed asked proudly. “I mean, I’ve taken a liking to him; he reminds me of me.”
Porter and I looked at each other with raised eyebrows.
“Please,” Porter said, “enlighten us.”
Ed looked slightly taken aback. “You don’t see it? Look at him! He’s a first year, hanging out in what can only be described as the coolest compartment of sixth years ever!” Ed paused here reminiscently. “Yes, I remember my first train ride over. I loved being the cool first year with all those older kids, making jokes, laughing””
At this point, Porter and I couldn’t hold it in any longer.
“Yeah, right!” Porter cried. “You were the biggest loser ever when we met you! Remember after the sorting when we were sitting at the Hufflepuff table? You were so quiet, and what was it you said? Oh yes, ‘Thanks for sitting next to me; I was all alone in my compartment the whole ride up here.’ Real cool, Ed.”
“He has a point,” I said.
“Well,” Ed started, “at least I knew Bevan’s name!”
“Oh, and that made you cool your first year?” Porter taunted back.
“All right, all right,” I interjected. “Let’s just say Bevan’s cool. Yes? And Ed?” He looked at me with one hand in his pocket, no doubt reaching for his wand. “You’re cool now, right?”
“That’s right,” he nodded. “And don’t you forget it.” He sat back down, rather satisfied with himself and said, not-so-under-his-breath, “You wouldn’t even know what cool was if it wasn’t for me.”
Porter and I just smiled.
I was glad Bevan was with us for the train ride over. It would be fun to finally have a family member going to Hogwarts. My cousins were the closest I had to actual siblings, and I loved having them around.
“So, I have a question for you,” Porter said, interrupting my thoughts.
Ed and I just looked over at him; he was fidgeting”not a normal Porter thing to do.
“If you, you know, had, like… a girlfriend, and you came back to school… do you think she’d still, you know, want to be your girlfriend when you got back?”
“Whoa! Right on Porter!” Ed cheered, immediately snapping out of his semi-pout. “No wonder you were so busy all summer. There really wasn’t a family floo-whatsis, was there?” he asked as he punched Porter’s shoulder.
I just laughed as Porter pushed him away.
“For real, guys,” he said. “What do you think?”
“I dunno,” I responded. “Who is it?”
“Well, you see,” Porter started, “well… it’s kind of””
“Come on, mate, who is it?” Ed pried.
“Well, it’s one of my neighbors, the girl down the street””
“Wait a minute,” I interrupted. “You live in an all-Muggle town. You were the first wizard to come out of there in about thirty years. You said so yourself.”
“Yeah, that’s right,” Porter confirmed.
“You’re dating a Muggle?” Ed asked, a mix of shock and laughter filling his voice.
“Well, yes,” Porter said, slightly defensively. “I mean, I’ve known her my whole life, and we’ve been friends forever. I’ve written letters to her every year while I was away at school, and she writes me back and””
“How do you write a Muggle from Hogwarts? I know we can owl our parents and friends but… you didn’t tell her you were a wizard, right? She’d get a bit of a shock having owls swoop down on her.”
“No, I didn’t tell her anything about that.”
“Well, then what did you say?” Ed was getting very worked up about this, partly out of concern for his friend, but mostly to aggravate him.
“I didn’t tell her anything,” Porter said defensively. “I have this system. She knows I go away to boarding school, right? Right, so I just told her that it’s a very strict boarding school and that everything can only be sent to or come directly from home. So I owl my letters home and have them take them over to her house, and she just gives her letters to my mother and has her deliver them. I’ve learned to wait a week or so to account for the Muggle post system”that took some explaining”but other than that it works rather well. We’ve been doing it for years. Like I said, she’s one of my best friends.”
Porter seemed rather proud of himself; Ed seemed rather hurt.
“So, why haven’t you told us about her before, mate?”
“Well, you know,” he replied, but clearly we didn’t know. He sighed. “I’m a wizard and she’s a Muggle. How many wizards do you know who date Muggles while they’re at Hogwarts?” He paused to look at our blank faces. “Exactly. Besides,” he continued in a lighter tone, “I really like her, and I didn’t want you to find out who she was and go steal her heart away, Ed. I know how you are”or should I say ‘how you aren’t’?”with the ladies.”
“Oh, that’s it,” Ed cried as he jumped onto his seat. “You’re on, mate! I challenge you the first Hufflepuff dueling match of the year!”
What a night, I thought as I headed down to breakfast by myself.
Ed and Porter were locked in a very important wrestling match of some sort in the dormitory, and I was starving. So I was off to the Great Hall alone that morning, but the food would definitely be worth it.
The whole train ride over had been entertaining”filled with duels, jokes, and laughter. Then there was the Sorting Ceremony; Bevan was sorted into Gryffindor. Unfortunately, I wouldn’t see him as often as I would like, but he seemed to fit right in with the other Gryffindor first years there.
At the end of the feast, Dumbledore had announced something spectacular”the Triwizard Tournament. I had felt the same way Fred had”horrified that there would be no Quidditch Cup but amazed that the Tournament would actually be held at Hogwarts.
I would be turning seventeen in October”as Ed and Porter reminded me multiple times last night”which meant I would be eligible to compete in the Tournament. I was a bit apprehensive about that. Yes, it would be the experience of a lifetime, and Ed and Porter were certainly on my side, but all the seventh years would be eligible too. How exactly did they pick who would be the champion, anyway?
Before I could come up with an answer, a very attractive young lady took the seat next to me so that her back was to the table. Her hair fell over her shoulder as she leaned backwards, resting her elbows on the table, and she looked straight at me, a smile playing at the corner of her lips.
“Cedric,” she started, “I do believe we have some catching up to do.”
My face split into a grin, wider than I expected, “Emma! What have you been up to?”
“Well, the normal mischief,” she started, “This morning, I was planning on bugging you about prefect duties, but then I remembered you already covered those without telling me. Then I was going to eat some of your breakfast, but then I realized you hadn’t gotten any yet because, well, I’m not sure why. So, I think I’ve decided to tell you that I was thinking about you. Not really in a good way, but it was nostalgic and made me laugh. Remember that time second year when we went out for two days? Yeah, that was awful; you were the worst boyfriend ever.”
“What, I don’t even get a hello?” I asked, slightly taken aback, but still grinning.
“Well, I considered it, but then I thought that might give you a big head, so, for your ego’s sake, I decided to cut that part out,” she replied, giving him a cheeky smile.
“So you decided to bring up a rather embarrassing moment you apparently like to refer to as the ‘Cedric: Worst Boyfriend Ever’ chapter of my life?”
“You have to admit it’s true. I saw you more in two hours when we were just friends than in the two days you tried to be my boyfriend. You just failed in that part of our relationship. You didn’t even kiss me!”
“All right, all right, I get it!” I laughed. “I understand. Do you need me to apologize again? I’d be more than willing,” I continued as I looked down at her with a smile.
“No,” she said. “I just wanted to let you know I was thinking about it. Do you know what else I was thinking about last night?” She continued before I could respond. “I was thinking that you would make an excellent Triwizard Champion.”
I looked over at her quizzically.
“Really,” she continued. “Even though you’re a terrible boyfriend, I think you’d really excel at this. Face it; you’re a natural at everything you do!”
“Thanks, Emma.” That truly was a compliment coming from her.
“I mean, naturally, you wouldn’t have a chance if I was old enough to enter,” she winked, “but since I can’t, you’ll have to make me proud. Anyway, I’ll just let you mull that over with your sidekicks,” she said as she stood up to leave.
Sure enough, Ed and Porter had entered the Great Hall.
“I’ll see you in class,” she added. “Because I do actually see you when you’re not trying to be a good boyfriend,” she added with a smirk as she headed toward her friends.
“Why does she always do that?” Ed asked as he took a seat.
“You mean leave right as you head over?” Porter responded.
“Yes! I swear I took a shower before I came down,” he said as he smelled under his arms, just to double check.
“She just thinks your wit might be too much for her,” I said, concealing my sarcasm.
Ed sat a little taller in his seat. “Well, I knew the ladies adored me. I guess I’ll have to start toning it down a bit.”
The post came in as we started eating. Students received packages”things they’d forgot and reminders from concerned parents. An owl landed in front of us with a letter.
“Hey, Porter it must be for you! I’ll bet it’s from your Muggle girlfriend,” Ed joked. “She probably misses you already!”
At that point, Ed ducked under the table; Porter had just charmed all the food in sight to start attacking Ed mercilessly.
“Actually, it has your name on it, Ced,” Porter said, tossing the letter to me.
Sure enough, my dad’s handwriting was on the front of the letter. Apparently the bone growing fiasco was over; it wasn’t written on St. Mungo’s parchment. I opened the letter and started reading through it.
“Dad wants to know if I’m entering the Tournament.”
“Well, you should,” said Porter as I finished the letter. “You’d be great.”
“Yeah you would,” Ed added as he wiped food he hadn’t managed to stop from attacking him off his robes. “I would enter if I was old enough.”
I just shook my head, “I don’t know. I mean it’s a huge deal… I thought about it, but not seriously.”
“Well maybe you should,” Porter said.
“All right, then,” Ed said with great dramatization as he patted my back. “We’ll just let you think on that now then, won’t we?”
“How about we let him think on it during our first class? We have Divination with Trelawney again”hopefully her N.E.W.T. classes are even better than her other classes. What do you have first today?” Porter asked me.
“Herbology. I wouldn’t miss out on Sprout’s crazy stories this year! She was supposed to be on holiday in Cambodia for the summer.”
“That’s right!” Porter laughed. “We’ll see you at lunch then?”
“Okay,” I replied. “And if you guys do crystal balls, make sure Ed doesn’t embarrass himself in front of all the girls. I hate it when we have to repair his ego.”
“Oh, yeah?” Ed taunted. “Well, make sure you don’t get attacked by any dangerous plants. We wouldn’t want Sprout to feel bad about having one of the students in her house being eaten by something!”
I just shook my head as my two best friends grabbed some food and left for Divination. Sometimes Ed could really make some lame comebacks. Sprout would probably be proud if one of her precious plants managed to actually eat someone. She’d feel bad, yes, but her first emotion would be pride.