Chapter Six: Adjusting
As Harry set out from the hospital wing he had no idea where he wanted to go, so he just wandered. Fawkes was exceptionally helpful, giving Harry hints at which way to turn, providing warnings for obstacles like furniture and suits of armor, and being there to laugh at him when he stumbled anyway. This kept Harry in a very good mood, and he was quickly coming to think of Fawkes as less of a bird and a pet, and more as a friend. Fawkes let out a few stern notes, letting him know that that was how he should have felt from the beginning.
They wandered for some time, conversing in their strange way, before Harry was interrupted by the voice of Professor Lupin.
“Harry, what are you doing up and awake, and how did you get up here?”
“Good morning, Professor. I was thinking that I’d been asleep in hospitals for long enough, so I decided to head out. I’m not quite sure where ‘here’ is, but I walked,” Harry answered.
“Call me Remus, Harry; I haven’t been a professor for years now. I’m glad you’re adjusting so well; I can’t imagine trying to maneuver without sight like you are. You are actually just outside the staff quarters, on the fifth floor. Is that Dumbledore’s phoenix?”
“This is Fawkes, yes.” And the phoenix trilled in friendly greeting. “He’s the one who got me out of the Muggle hospital. And he’s been helping me move around too; I don’t think I would have made it anywhere tonight without him.”
Remus reached out and stroked Fawkes’ head.
“It looks like we all owe you a lot of gratitude, Fawkes,” he told the phoenix. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you again, Harry. Your father would be disappointed with me; I should have been able to find you, and I should have put more weight to what you said about Snape and Malfoy last year.”
“There’s nothing to be sorry about,” Harry said bracingly, “Everyone was fooled by that git. What are you doing up this early?”
“I couldn’t sleep, so I thought I would visit the kitchens. Would you like to accompany me?”
“That would be brilliant,” Harry said, sure that Dobby would love another chance to serve them.
Harry felt Remus take his arm, and was grateful for the more direct guidance as they made their way to the kitchens. Remus took the intervening time to regale Harry with old stories about the Marauders, and Harry gave more time to the thought of becoming an Animagus like his father. Several hours later, Harry found himself still seated at a table in the kitchen with a cup of tea and a plate of biscuits, laughing along with Remus’ stories.
“So then Lily caught both James and Sirius in full-body binds, and floated them about twenty feet above the lake before freeing them. This was only about five minutes before class, so both of them showed up sopping wet and neither would tell McGonagall why, because neither wanted to admit to being bested by one thirteen year old witch. That got both of them another detention,” Remus finished, laughing himself.
“Where were you?” Harry asked, laughing as well.
Lupin was quiet for a moment. “I was with Peter, watching. We knew better than to get on Lily Evan’s bad side.”
Harry decided he didn’t want to talk about Wormtail at all, and was going to try and change the subject when another voice interrupted.
“Harry! What are you doing awake?” Ginny demanded.
“Good morning, Ginny!” Harry exclaimed happily, and started to rise to greet her. He was almost successful, but tripped over the edge of his chair and ended up flat on his face.
“Harry!” both Ginny and Remus exclaimed, obviously concerned. Harry felt Ginny take his arm, and help him to his feet.
“I’m alright,” Harry said, his face red with embarrassment, “More damage to my pride than myself.” He could feel Fawkes laughing at him in his mind.
Harry tried to ignore that, and used one arm to pull Ginny close to him while he used his other hand to find her face and lips so he could kiss her good morning. She was happy to oblige him, and the kiss went on for some time.
“Hey, kids? I’m still here!” Remus grumbled.
Ginny grinned at him. “Apparently now that Harry can’t see anything, he doesn’t care what anyone else sees.” Harry grinned as well, while Ginny led him back to the table and they both sat down.
“What brings you down so early, Ginny?” Harry asked.
“It’s nearly eight o’clock, Harry. How long has Professor Lupin kept you awake down here?”
Remus shifted guiltily. “Harry kept me up all night telling stories, so you can blame him.”
“Thanks for the support,” Harry muttered, but Ginny was too pleased to see Harry happy and the two of them getting along so well to be upset.
“I had come down to get breakfast for you, Harry, but it looks like you beat me here. Couldn’t you sleep? I thought you were exhausted last night! Is that Fawkes?”
“I was exhausted, and I slept like a baby for about 3 hours. That seemed like plenty of sleep to me when I woke up so I went for a walk.” While he was talking he heard Fawkes take off and land close to him, and assumed that he had landed on Ginny’s shoulder. He could feel the bird’s pleasure at seeing Ginny and grinned.
“Yes, this is Fawkes. He’s happy to see you; he really likes you for some reason.” Harry then received an image from Fawkes, of Ginny bringing a large basket of treats to Dumbledore’s office, obviously for Fawkes, and by her age in the image he could guess that this must have been just after the incidents in the Chamber of Secrets.
“Ah! He says he enjoyed the treats you took him your first year very much.” Harry added.
Ginny was speechless.
“Can you talk to him, Harry?” Remus asked curiously.
“Kind of…” Harry hesitated. “It’s more like sharing feelings and memories than talking.”
“Well, tell Fawkes that I was grateful for him saving my serpent-slaying knight in shining armor.” Ginny said, finding her voice.
Fawkes trilled happily. “He understood you,” Harry informed her.
“Well, I don’t want to interrupt what looks like a fun party,” Ron’s voice suddenly interrupted. He sounded agitated and out of breath. “But everyone is looking for you, Harry. Dad and Mum went to see you in the hospital wing and found you gone again, and everyone has gone mental looking for you.”
“Is it any wonder you got to search the kitchen?” Harry jibed, but he did feel bad that everyone was worried again. “You and Remus had better start heading back to the hospital wing, then, and try and find everyone on your way. Ginny and I will be there before you.”
“How?” Ron asked suspiciously.
Harry’s response was to smile and reach out to grab Ginny with one hand, and reach the other into the air. Fawkes had taken flight and flew so that his tail feathers passed into Harry’s hand, and there was a flash of flame, and all three were gone.
“So he takes her with him and makes us walk,” Ron complained, but Remus just laughed.
**********
Ginny felt Harry’s arm and the sudden heat of the fire, and suddenly she was in the hospital wing. And they weren’t alone. There were exclamations of panic and then relief from her parents and Bill swore quite eloquently. She could also see Madame Pomfrey bustling out of her office, obviously furious. Ginny got the first words in to Harry, though, as she slapped his arm.
“How about a little warning next time, Harry,” she said sternly, though she decided that it was her favorite way to travel so far. Fawkes had appeared with them, but as soon as Harry had let go of his tail he had disappeared again, and Harry was distractedly facing the general direction he had last been.
Harry turned back to face her and grinned.
“Sorry Ginny, but I thought you would enjoy the ride.”
“Where did Fawkes go?” She asked, and he frowned.
Before he could answer, Ginny’s parents were upon them, and Ginny could see they were somewhat furious. Bill was watching in amusement now, and Ginny knew he was anticipating the telling off she and Harry were going to receive. It had always been a game between the two of them, to see who could get out of the most punishment in these situations, and she was determined to prevent him from being too satisfied.
“Harry! Ginny! Have you been together all night?” Mrs. Weasley demanded, and this caught both Harry and Ginny off guard. Harry flushed scarlet and started stammering denials, but Ginny interrupted him.
“Mum! I can’t believe you would think that of either of us, but for your information, I had just barely gone to the kitchen when I found Harry talking with Professor Lupin. They were up all night, not me.”
She could see Bill laughing silently at her response, and he gave her a thumbs up; Harry was the one in trouble now. She took Harry’s hand, and she could see the corners of his mouth twitching. Obviously he knew what she was doing, though she couldn’t tell whether he was amused or annoyed or both.
Harry spent the next several minutes being interrogated by her parents and Madame Pomfrey about how he felt, and why he was out of bed. As other members of the Order arrived in the hospital wing, including Remus and Ron, everyone wanted to know where he had been, and everyone wanted to know about Fawkes turning up. When people asked where Fawkes was now, Harry turned towards the corner he had last been and frowned again, but didn’t say anything. Ginny was curious about his actions, but didn’t say anything either.
Finally Harry seemed to decide he’d had enough.
“I’m sorry I had everyone worried, but I really did get enough sleep. I appreciate your concern, but just because I’m blind doesn’t mean I need someone holding my hand all of the time. Unless it’s Ginny,” he amended, smiling towards her, and she felt her heart soar with love again. “With Fawkes with me I was able to make my way around without falling on my face.”
“Even though you had no idea where you were,” Remus interrupted, grinning.
“That was the point of wandering aimlessly,” Harry retorted, “and I knew that I was still in the castle. I promise I won’t be trying to leave and take on Death Eaters right away, but in the mean time I hope you all can give me at least the illusion of independence.”
“Of course we will, Harry,” Molly said, “But we just got you back after more than a week of being missing, and several days of being unconscious after that. You’ll have to forgive us being protective.” Arthur voiced his agreement, since he knew Harry wouldn’t see his nod.
“So,” Harry began, pretending that the previous conversation had never taken place, “what are we going to do today? I seem to remember someone saying something about a birthday party once I was feeling up to it.”
Everyone laughed, and once Madame Pomfrey was satisfied that he was healthy enough to leave the hospital wing for good, and making him drink a hair growing potion, allowed them all to leave for the Great Hall, where breakfast was waiting for everyone.
**********
Harry was growing a little frustrated with trying to feed himself. Ginny had said nothing as she had fixed him a plate and placed a fork in his hand, and he was grateful for that. Even so, he had no idea what he was trying to pick up with his fork from the different parts of his plate, and he wasn’t having much success keeping things on his fork long enough for them to reach his mouth. It didn’t help that he could feel Fawkes laughing at his frustration.
He assumed since no one had said anything about the phoenix that Fawkes was still invisible, and Fawkes told him that was indeed the case. He had felt the bird disappear from the hospital wing after transporting him and Ginny there, but had also felt his presence remain in the room. It wasn’t until everyone was asking where he had gone that Harry realized that he had become invisible. While trying to appear guilty at the telling off he was getting, he had carried on a silent “conversation” with Fawkes, and learned that Fawkes hadn’t wanted excess attention at the time, but enjoyed watching Harry’s discomfort. He had also discovered how Fawkes had facilitated Dumbledore’s apparent omniscience when it came to knowing what was going on at the school. It was Fawkes who had followed Harry to the Mirror of Erised, and then brought Dumbledore back with him, keeping the headmaster invisible as well. Harry was happy he would no longer need his cloak as much, but wished the phoenix would show more support.
When he had thought this, the image of a newly hatched baby bird squawking for food burst into his mind, and Harry had then lost patience with the scolding around him. And when he had gotten to the part about not needing someone to hold his hand, Fawkes had shared a picture of Ginny’s hand in his, and Harry had had to agree that he did need that, although that served to cheer him up.
Now, though, this attempt at eating was clearly failing. Harry dropped his fork, and was about to ask if he could just get some toast, when Ginny interrupted him.
“Open wide!” she said calmly, and his mouth dropped open in shock. Surely she wasn’t going to feed him like an infant! Apparently she was, because his open mouth was immediately filled with a large forkful of eggs. When he had finished chewing and swallowing, he was about to angrily assert his independence, but Ginny spoke first.
“Don’t get any ideas about getting used to this, Harry,” she said sternly. “I’ll help you until you can do things for yourself, but don’t expect me to do everything for you forever.”
Harry waited for Fawkes to continue laughing at him, but the phoenix had sensed his very real frustration and anger, and instead encouraged him to accept Ginny’s help, providing him with an image of Dumbledore kindly feeding a baby Fawkes after a burning day.
Harry’s angry reply died on his lips.
“This is really hard for me,” he whispered instead, feeling the burning in his eyes and a lump growing in his throat. “Can anyone else hear us?”
“No one is close enough to hear if you whisper, Harry. And of course this is hard for you. You have to learn how to do practically everything over again, and it’s going to be difficult and frustrating. I’m amazed with how well you’re coping with it all,” she whispered back.
Harry reached over and found her arm, and followed it down to her hand which he grasped tightly with his own.
“I just wish I weren’t such a burden on everyone around me, and that I could still do simple things for myself, like eat breakfast. It didn’t bother me to have Remus lead me around, or you, but I’m just starting to realize that I might need that forever. I haven’t even started thinking about all the things I may never be able to do now.”
His voice broke once or twice as he spoke, but he was able to keep his tears back.
Ginny took her hand from his and rubbed his back with it instead.
“Like I said Harry, you’ll have to learn to adjust, and that will mean you need help, at least at first. You saved me from Tom and a basilisk. The least I can do is feed you breakfast a few times. Now, open up. I talked to Mum, and they are planning on having your birthday party here this evening, and we have an Order meeting this afternoon, and you still need to take a shower.”
Harry was grateful for her no-nonsense approach, and willingly allowed her to help him finish his breakfast. Fawkes approved of his returned good attitude and let him know. Harry was amazed as his ability to communicate with Fawkes seemed to be growing by the minute.
After breakfast, Ginny led him to Gryffindor tower, where the Weasleys had all been staying while Harry was in the hospital wing, and led him to his room. His belongings had all been brought here, and she picked out clean clothes for him. He was slightly uncomfortable having her do this, but she just joked about picking clothes that might or might not match, so he didn’t say anything.
As he walked into the bathroom, he nearly had a heart attack when Ginny followed him in.
“Ginny! I don’t care how helpless I am now, there are some things you are NOT going to help me with!” he sputtered.
She merely laughed. “Relax, Harry. I was just going to put your clothes down and help you feel where they are for when you get out. Then I’m leaving.”
She then did as she said, and he was actually very grateful. As he heard the door close and started to unbutton his pajamas, he suddenly had an awful suspicion.
“How do I know that you are gone?” he asked the room at large. Only silence followed. He had just started feeling around the room, trying to make sure she was really gone, when he heard a short bit of amused sounding phoenix song. Fawkes let him know she was indeed gone.
After he showered, he was able to find his clothes as Ginny had laid them out, and made his way back out the door.
“Ginny?” he called.
“She went to go get ready herself, mate,” came Ron’s reply. Ron laughed at Harry’s startled reaction to his voice.
“I know I’m not nearly as good looking as she is, but you can’t be too disappointed since that can’t matter much anymore.”
“Hermione always did say you were an insensitive wart,” Harry snarled, hurling his towel towards Ron’s voice and hoping very much that he hit him.
“That’s not what she says anymore,” Ron answered proudly.
Harry forgot his anger and grinned, as he allowed Ron to take his arm and lead him into the common room.
“So are you two finally together, then?” Harry asked.
“Yes, we finally are,” Hermione replied happily, and Harry jumped again.
“Why do you always get so nervous every time someone new says something, Harry?” Ron asked.
“I… I guess that’s been the worst thing for me so far.” Harry responded slowly. “Not knowing who is in a room with me, who could be listening to what I’m saying, or watching me without me knowing it. I think I’m getting a bit paranoid about it all.”
“Then you probably won’t be very happy to know that we’re in here,” came the voice of one of the twins, though Harry wasn’t sure which. Actually, he didn’t care much which it was, as when he had heard the voice he spun towards it pulling out his wand. He then promptly tripped on a chair, and only Ron and Hermione both grabbing an arm kept him from falling.
“Oh, very graceful Harry,” the other twin laughed. Harry could tell talking to the twins would be an adventure all its own. “I was just saying to Fed this morning that we absolutely had to come and see our friend Harry. Word was out that you were blind, temporarily at least, and we wanted to make sure no one pulled any pranks on you behind your back.”
“Or tried any experimental products on you,” Fred added.
“Or otherwise tried to take advantage of you in your current condition.” George finished.
Harry knew then that the twins were not going to treat him like a baby due to his current circumstances, but didn’t find that very comforting.
“After all,” Fred continued, “This is the least we could do for the guy who tried to dump our little sister and made her miserable for weeks.”
Harry flinched at that comment, and knew that he would definitely be experiencing something unpleasant before the day was out unless he took measures against it. Truthfully, on that score he wasn’t sure he didn’t deserve it. Still, he decided he’d at least make it interesting.
Harry waived his hand toward each twin’s voice and there was a flash of light and a popping noise around each of them. Both were startled and demanded to know what Harry had done. Harry only smiled mischievously.
“I’m sure everyone will find out before the day is over.” Harry answered.
Before anything more could be said, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley came down from the room they had been staying in, and Ginny came with them.
“Are we all ready for the meeting, then?” Arthur asked brightly. “Good. To the Headmistress’ office.”
Harry felt Ginny’s hand take his and he allowed her to lead him out into the corridor, while Fawkes flew merrily behind them.