Chapter 11 “ Am I Too Far Gone?
“You don’t need to prove a thing to me
Just give me faith make me believe
You might try savin' yourself
I'm gonna save me.”
- “Save Me” by Dave Matthews
----
“You’re joking…aren’t you?”
“Look out the window, Potter. Now is not the time for jokes.”
“Damn right it’s not! Go back to the house, Draco! I don’t have time for you right now!”
Draco stepped forward, looking as if he wanted to take a swing at Harry, but Remus stepped forward between them.
“We don’t have time for any of this right now, but if Draco wants to do it, I don’t see what you’re arguing for, Harry.”
Harry looked flabbergasted up at Remus, his eyes widening. “You believe him?”
“It’s an unbreakable vow,” Remus stressed. “There is no believing or not believing. It’s unbreakable.”
“Oh, thanks for that lesson, Remus-“
“Listen Potter, I don’t have time to deal with your hero complex shite right now,” Draco interjected, pointing an accusing finger at Harry. “My father is out there, right now, murdering people while we’re up here arguing the specifications of a vow. If you’re so worried, have your godfather here perform it, I could care less. Just give me my bloody wand back!”
Both Harry and Remus were looking at Draco with wide, surprised eyes. The muffled noises of the battles outside on the Hogwarts grounds seemed to grow louder as the three men stared at one another.
“Fine.” Harry thrust his hand towards Draco, a determined look on his face.
Draco didn’t hesitate at all before laying his hand on top of Harry’s.
Remus stepped around so that he was standing in between them, his wand in his hand, but still lowered towards the ground as he looked uncertainly at the two younger wizards.
“Now, you both are sure about this?”
“I’ve got nothing to loose,” Harry snapped, still glaring at Draco.
Draco’s mouth twitched at Harry’s words but he remained cool and collected. “Neither do I.”
Slowly, Remus raised his wand so that it was pointing at their joined hands.
Harry took a deep breath, choosing his words carefully.
“Do you swear to remain true to the Order of the Phoenix throughout this war?”
“I do.”
A band of flame shot from Remus’ wand, encircling their clasped hands.
“And do you swear to use your talents and skills only for the light side and never again to serve the powers of darkness?”
“I do.”
A second band entwined in the first, the room growing brighter than before.
“And do you swear to never betray me, lie to me or deceive me ever again?”
“I do.”
The lack of hesitation in Draco’s voice was more surprising to Harry than the third band of fire that shot from Remus’ wand, exploding the room in a brilliant flash of light.
----
Ginny closed the door quietly behind her, aware of Hermione sleeping upstairs, and slowly hung her cloak on a peg by the door, trying her best not to notice Harry’s eyes boring into the back of her head.
Turning back around, his gaze was still on her, looking more curious by the moment.
“Where have you been?” he asked her softly, finally setting down his apple and closing his book.
He didn’t deserve an answer. It was her house, after all. He had no right to know anything she was doing. But for some reason…she wanted him to know.
“Just out walking,” she went and sat down on the couch across from him, letting out a sigh, “trying to clear my mind.” Her head fell into her hands and she bit her bottom lip. “It’s been a long day.”
“Look, Gin-“
She held up a quick hand, looking up at him. “Don’t. Don’t start this now. I don’t want to talk about it.” Standing up quickly, she started to make good on her statement and head to the stairs, but once again, he caught her arm and stopped her. She knew better than to turn around this time.
“Maybe you don’t want to…” He paused and she heard him take a shuddering breath. “But maybe we both need to.”
Ginny tugged softly against his hold and he let her go immediately, but she didn’t turn around. “I’ve done this too many times, Harry. I’ve had too many of these ‘talks’ with you.” She turned to glare at him. “And frankly I don’t think I can take another one.”
He looked concerned for a moment, but he didn’t move, he just continued to stare at her.
“What if I promised this was the last one?”
She shook her head, tears gathering in her eyes, despite how she tried to fight them. “You think it’s that easy?” She shook her head, looking at him with sorrow, for herself and for him. “It’s too complicated now. One little kiss isn’t going to change ten years of mistakes.”
“Wait,” he held out his hands, stopping her from turning away again, “ten years of mistakes? Merlin, Ginny, you think it was all a mistake? The last ten years haven’t meant anything to you?”
She hesitated for the first time, noticing the hurt in his eyes…as well as the tears.
“You’re my best friend, Ginny. Not Ron. Not Hermione. These last ten years have had their hard times, sure, but I wouldn’t trade your friendship for any of that.”
“That’s right, Harry, friendship. That’s all it is and that’s all it’s ever going to be.” Oh, how she hated herself for saying those words! He looked so hurt…
His arms dropped from her sides and he looked pensively at her. “Hermione finally asked me tonight.” Ginny frowned, confused at what he was talking about. “She asked me what happened that night…at St. Mungo’s.”
Ginny couldn’t think to hide the shock from her face. She never expected any of their friends to bring up that day. The whole thing had been so awkward and depressing for both of them that their friends never even acted like they noticed anything. But they must have noticed something. Two people don’t just go out for two years and then suddenly become best friends with no physical contact at all.
She swallowed. “What did you tell her?”
He shrugged, unconcerned. “Nothing, actually. I was able to change the conversation pretty quickly…” He looked curiously at her. “The truth is…I’m not really sure what did happen anymore.”
“Is that so?” Ginny raised an eyebrow at him. “Allow me to refresh your memory.” She walked over towards the stairs. As she stepped up the first one, she turned back around to see him looking curiously over at her. “You broke up with me.”
And she left him standing there, alone in her family room. When she reached the top of the stairs, she stayed still and silent, just out of sight, until she finally heard him turn off the lights and the front door opened and shut.
----
Wednesday was already dawning to be a terrible day.
Ginny heard Riley’s incessant cheerfulness ringing through the house and glanced at the clock to see that it was only nine in the morning.
For too early to be getting up.
Unfortunately, she had promised Hermione that she would go shopping with her today, mostly to get her mind off of the Ron problem, but also because, being pregnant, Hermione never liked how she looked in her clothes.
One quick shower and a flurry of clothes later, Ginny made it to the kitchen where Hermione was sitting at the table, chatting merrily with Riley who was finishing up breakfast: hotcakes and sausage.
Well, Ginny thought, sitting down to the delicious smelling meal and smiling over at an obviously more cheerful Hermione, maybe this day won’t be so bad after all.
----
“You’re being a right foul git, you know that?” Harry slammed a hand into the contraption in front of him, resorting to the last means of action he could take, especially when he wasn’t allowed to use magic.
“It’s not going to talk back to you, Harry,” Remus said calmly, sitting next to him in front of a separate computer and acting more like a muggle than Harry.
Glancing over at him, perplexed at the thought, Harry asked, “How is it that you’re so good at this?”
“You forget my mother was muggle,” Remus reminded him, speaking softer. “It’s really not that difficult. Didn’t the Dursley’s have a computer?”
Harry looked over at him. “You think they let me come within 20 feet of it?” he asked, dryly.
“Point,” Remus conceded, going back to his own computer.
Harry heaved a frustrated sigh and turned back to his screen, seeing that his hit hadn’t done a single thing other than knock the monitor sideways a bit. He looked around at the other visitors to the public library and felt even more embarrassed as he straightened it out and dropped his voice as he spoke to Remus.
“Where did you put Draco?”
“In the safe house at Brighton,” Remus sighed, his exhaustion creeping through.
“And this is helping him, how?” Harry continued, finally getting his mouse to work as he typed in another keyword to search for.
“I’m trying to locate one of my dad’s old friends,” Remus replied, absentmindedly. “I think I’ve almost got it. Just act busy for a few more minutes then we’ll get out of here.”
“What’s he going to do to help us?”
“He’s one of the best attorney’s I know, both muggle and wizard. If we’re hoping to stop this thing before it gets to the Wizgamot, we’re going to need his help.”
“Why go through the muggle world? Wizarding Findbooks are more organized than this internet shite.”
“We can’t risk the floo getting intercepted and someone finding out that we know where Draco is. Right now it’s technically against the law to be helping him.”
“Right now?”
Remus pressed a key down in triumph and smiled up at Harry. “Hopefully within a day or two this’ll all be just a bad dream.”
Harry grinned, standing up and grabbing his coat off the back of his chair as Remus retrieved the papers he printed. “A nightmare for him, maybe. This week’s not going to be as lucky for me I’m afraid.”
“Trouble on the Weasley front?” Remus guessed, holding the door open for them as they stepped back onto the busy muggle street. “Which one, Ron or Ginny?”
Harry hissed through his teeth. “Take your pick. Even add in Hermione, she’s a Weasley too.” Remus didn’t say anything, obviously expecting Harry to expand on his own. Harry was reluctant to at first, but then decided that if he was going to tell anyone, Remus would be at the top of his list. “Ron thinks I’m helping Emily blackmail him when she’s actually blackmailing both of us all by herself, Hermione keeps asking me what’s going on between me and Ginny, and Ginny and I almost kissed yesterday and ended up having a very…abrupt conversation.”
Remus remained silent for a moment until they reached the ministry building and stepped in the phone booth.
“Seems to me that’s a personal problem, mate,” Remus said, half serious, half joking.
Harry wanted to slug him, but settled for saying his name wrong into the phone and making him wear a badge around that said “Romulus Snape” for the rest of the day.
----
“Seems cozy,” Harry offered, setting down the bag of food as Draco sent him a loathing look.
“Sometimes I think you guys set me up for these types of things cause you like to see me locked in a house.”
“Careful,” Harry warned, taking out the Chinese food he brought for both of them, “I am in charge of your food supply for the next couple of days, not to mention your life as you know it.”
In typical Draco fashion, he didn’t honor the threat with a reply, just grabbed one of the containers and dropped onto a nearby couch, starting to eat without another word.
Harry chuckled at his friend, sitting in the armchair and grabbing his own food.
“You in the mood?” Harry asked between bites.
Draco stopped, mid-chew, and glanced slowly up at Harry. “For what?”
Harry sighed and leaned back. “I need advice.”
Draco looked dramatically around the room, as if searching for something, and then looked back at Harry. “Do you see anything I can use as an excuse to get out of it?”
“No,” Harry chuckled.
“Fine.”
----
The fourth store began to get a little tedious for Ginny. As a girl who grew up with six older brothers, she had never understood the girlish notion that shopping was fun. More like it was a ridiculous waste of time.
Still, Hermione was enjoying herself.
As Hermione disappeared once more into the dressing room, Ginny wandered over to a scarf display, running her hands along the soft materials.
“You seem lost in thought.”
She turned quickly, startled by the familiar voice.
“Merlin, Remus,” she held a hand to her heart, “don’t do that!”
Remus smiled apologetically. “I wasn’t trying to be quiet. You really seemed lost in your own world.”
Ginny smiled ruefully at him. “I see you’ve been talking to Harry.”
“I never said that,” Remus reminded her.
“It’s obvious enough. Why else would you be in the women’s section of this store?” Ginny gave him a knowing look.
Remus had the nerve to blush a bit. “Actually, I’m trying to find something for Tonks. It’s our anniversary next week.”
“Wow, and you’re already thinking about it? I’m impressed,” Ginny smirked.
“Well, I do what I can,” Remus admitted. “But what about you? What brings you here? I never saw you as the shopping-for-no-reason type.”
“Actually, I brought Hermione here. Just a way to get her out of the house and thinking about something other than Ron.”
“Ah, yes. I did gather there was a situation there. Harry was quite upset about that as well.”
“As well?”
Remus gave her a small smile. “As I’m sure you realize, his main concern was about you.”
It was Ginny’s turn to get a little pink. “We had a bit of a row last night,” she admitted. Remus stayed silent, as he always did, waiting for her to elaborate. “I said some pretty awful things.”
“I think he was more upset about the things you didn’t say rather than the things you did say.”
Ginny looked away, ashamed. Thankfully she was saved from any more awkward moments by Hermione appearing again, finally carrying the outfit she wanted.
“Oh, Remus! What are you doing here?” she asked, smiling happily at him.
“Just a little matrimonial shopping,” Remus said, winking at Ginny. “But I’ve got to get back home before Tonks gets suspicious, so I’ll talk to you both later.”
But despite his abrupt departure, even as they walked back to the floo station to go back home, Ginny couldn’t get his words out of her head.
----
“I never understood all that romance stuff,” Draco admitted, leaning back after Harry finished his explanation of all his problems. “Seemed like a cheep way to get someone to look after you for the rest of your life.”
“Well skip over that than,” Harry suggested. “Besides, I’m not sure I would want advice on my love life from you.”
“This Emily, chick…she was the one at the Weasley’s wedding?”
“Yeah.”
“She was hot.”
“Yeah, thanks for that.”
“Hey, just stating a point.”
Harry downed the last of his butterbeer and rolled his eyes. “I take it you’re just as confused about the situation as me.”
“Right in one,” Draco said with a wink, setting down his food and starting to put the trash into the bag. “But I do have one bit of advice.”
“Oh yeah?”
“You’d better make sure Weasley plays like hell on Saturday. Your future may be riding on the outcome, but I bet a heck of a lot of money on the Cannons and I swear, if Lennon’s trick doesn’t kill him, I will.”
Harry smirked, picking up the trash as he headed out the door. “I’ll pass it onto Ron. Though, he might not take me seriously if I tell him it’s from the white ferret.”
Draco grabbed the back of Harry’s shirt, stopping him in his tracks. “Call me that again, Potter, and you won’t have to wait till Saturday to know how you’re going to spend the rest of your days.”
Harry shook him off easily, his grip wasn’t that hard, and turned around in the doorway, facing Draco. “Consider me warned,” he said with a soft smile, holding out his hand.
Draco still looked a little mad, but his expression softened a bit as he reached out and took Harry’s hand, shaking it slowly.
“I’ll come back sometime tomorrow. By then Remus should have gotten hold of this miracle worker of his.”
“Yeah,” Draco said absentmindedly.
“We’ll have you out of here soon, Draco, don’t worry.”
Draco didn’t look convinced, but he nodded. “I know you and Remus are trying your best, Harry. It’s just sometimes…I just wish there were more to help.”
Harry laid a caring hand on Draco’s shoulder. “Maybe this’ll be the event to turn the tide and you can stop hiding.”
Pushing him away, Draco stepped back. “I highly doubt it. I’ve given up on the rest of the world trusting me.”
Harry opened his mouth to say more, but Draco had already shut the door.
Head Over Feet by Liisa
Chapter Notes: Another long wait!! I'm really sorry! I hope this chapter makes up for it!