A/N: This flashback is really long, and they won't normally be like this, but this was a particularly important scene and I wanted to put it all in. Hope it doesn't confuse you much
Chapter 4 “ You Never Hear Me
“We're much too young
And life's so big
We don't know yet what the future brings.”
-“Young and Proud” by Ace of Base
----
Ragged and worn down, the fresh pajamas and clean sheets felt like heaven to Harry and he wondered why he hadn’t fallen asleep yet.
The Burrow was silent and still as ever, faint sounds of crickets and wind came in through the slightly open window and a cool April breeze floated throughout Ron’s room.
He turned again, relishing in the softness of a real bed, something he hadn’t been able to enjoy for about nine months now. Whatever he had been expecting this adventure to be like, it hadn’t prepared him for the real thing.
August first, a day after Harry had come of age, he had promptly left Number 4 Privet Drive without saying a word to his relatives or even looking in their direction. He had met up with Ron and Hermione at the Leaky Cauldron in Loudon and there they had started their journey.
Harry did admit that searching for the Horcruxes was proving to take a lot longer than he had originally thought. But it wouldn’t be long now. They were on the verge of finding Hufflepuff’s cup, and after that, only one was left until Harry finally had to fulfill the prophecy.
Both he and Hermione had been reluctant to stop the quest, but after being away for so long, all three of them agreed that a trip to the Burrow would not only be a nice rest, but a chance to check up on friends and family with whom they had had little contact with over the last several months. The only real contact was through monthly owls, short and to the point. They had been able to talk a while with McGonagall back in December when Harry had gone to Hogwarts to talk with Draco Malfoy, but other than that, they had taken the burden upon themselves.
Mrs. Weasley had been overjoyed to see them, insisting they stay a few nights and relax under the protection of the Burrow’s wards. None of them had complained and after a full and wonderfully delicious meal, the three of them had collapsed into bed: Ron and Harry going into Ron’s old room and Hermione sleeping in Ginny’s room.
Having enough of the tossing and turning, Harry got out of bed quickly, tiptoeing to the door and carefully creeping down the rickety stairs towards the kitchen.
It was still very silent on the bottom floor of the house and Harry moved quietly and cautiously as he went for a glass of water, feeling the familiar weight of his wand in the back pocket of his pajamas. Being on the move for nine months had trained the trio to act more like Mad-Eye Moody than ever, though that paranoia was responsible for saving their lives on more than one occasion.
But no experience could have prepared Harry for turning back around and seeing Ginny Weasley standing there, her hair in two slightly messy braids, dressed in a tank top and old flannel pants that probably used to belong to her brothers.
The two froze awkwardly, neither sure what to say or do. Harry’s glass shook a bit in his hand.
“I…I thought you would be at school,” he whispered lamely, not wanting to talk too loud.
Ginny bit her bottom lip and glanced away from Harry looking a little angry. “McGonagall sent us home at the beginning of March after Death Eaters attacked Hogsmeade and a few managed to get on the grounds of Hogwarts.” She looked back at Harry, her face full of frustration and a slight amount of hurt. “I guess you didn’t get the news.”
Harry opened and shut his mouth a few times, every reply dying before he had a chance to make a fool of himself. He truly hadn’t expected her to be there and didn’t remember Mrs. Weasley mentioning that Ginny was at home. He had just assumed that all was still well at Hogwarts. Obviously, now that he thought of it, that was a hasty assumption.
When he didn’t reply, Ginny calmly walked over to the fridge, retrieving an apple from inside and grabbing a jar of peanut butter from the cupboard. Harry watched her with keen interest.
“You still eat that?” he asked softly, watching her cut up the apple expertly with her wand and start to dip the pieces into the peanut butter. It had been one of her favorite snacks in Hogwarts, one that she could never get Harry to try. He liked peanut butter on bread, thank you very much, but carrying it over to fruit he found rather odd. Vaguely he realized that she had done magic when she was not yet of age. The rule must have been lifted when the school closed, or changed in some way. He began to realize just how much he had missed.
She just nodded faintly, still not looking at him.
Sighing with the realization that this talk was going to come sooner rather than later, he grabbed his glass of water and went over to the table, sitting across from her.
“Mum didn’t tell me you guys were coming,” she said as he sat down. She still wasn’t looking at him.
“It was kind of a last minute decision,” Harry admitted, sipping at his water. It felt good running down his dry throat. “We all agreed we needed some kind of rest.”
Finally looking up at him, she looked worried for the first time that night. “So you guys aren’t done? You haven’t found all of them yet?”
“Two more,” Harry said, resting his forehead on his propped up hand, knowing that he needed to be getting sleep right now.
She was quiet. Quiet enough to make Harry look up at her worriedly. But by the look on her face, he spoke before she even got the words out.
“No, Ginny.”
Her face hardened again. “You don’t even know what I was going to say.” Neither of them were whispering anymore, but they were both avoiding shouting.
“Oh yes I do,” Harry said, nodding. “But what I really don’t know is why you were even going to ask it when you know that I wouldn’t let you.”
“Since when do you have to let me do anything?” Ginny’s voice rose a bit, but Harry could tell she was keeping it in check quite a bit. “I’ll tell you the same thing I told my overprotective prat of a brother, Harry Potter: I may not be of age, but I am not a little girl anymore and I can take care of myself.”
Harry sighed. “I know that more than anyone, Gin, but I cannot, I will not let you come with us.”
“I’m not your damn damsel in distress, Harry,” Ginny argued, forgetting her food by now and glaring at him. “I went through the Department of Mysteries too. I fought the night the Death Eaters came to Hogwarts and I was there when we had to bury Dumbledore.”
“You were also there when I had to drag Cedric out of the maze and you were there when we found the writing on the walls and…” he paused, swallowing and blinking back a tear, “and I was there when you were in the Chamber and you were dying right in front of me and I had no idea how to save you…”
He looked back up at her. “Merlin, Ginny…don’t you know how many nightmares that night has given me? Especially since I kissed you that night in the common room? Do you have any idea how many times I have nightmares of Voldemort finding you again and making me chose between you and destroying another Horcrux?”
She had gone a bit pale, but fought back, none-the less. “You think it’s been easy for me? Not even knowing where you were and wondering if I would ever see you again? I’ve been the good little girl, Harry. I listened to your speech at the end of last term and I knew that you had to make the decision on your own so I let you go…I let you go…but not really…” he voice had dropped back down to a whisper. “When I saw you that night in Hogwarts by the hospital wing, I thought I had been dreaming. That’s why I didn’t talk to you. That’s why I didn’t stop to say hi…” A tear pricked at her eye.
Harry had wondered about that night. It had only been a split second glance right after his chat with Malfoy, but it had left him with so many questions that he just had to put it aside if he was going to deal with anything else at that moment.
“I would have written if we could have-“
“Oh shut up,” Ginny interrupted tensely. “That’s a lie and you know it. You send letters to the Grangers, Remus and Mum every month.”
He fell silent, having no reply.
“Listen…I don’t know how I can make this any better,” Harry admitted as Ginny went back to her snack. “I told you at the end of last term-“
“Yes, Harry, I remember quite clearly what you told me,” she said a bit bitterly. “Maybe I was just being optimistic, but I always hoped that somewhere along the line you would realize how cliché it all sounded and start snogging me again.”
Harry blinked twice. “Excuse me?”
Ginny, in her ever tactful manner, locked eyes with Harry. “It’s never going to work, you and me, because you’ve built up this grand illusion in your mind that for some reason, Voldemort won’t care about hurting me because we’re not boyfriend and girlfriend anymore. But let me tell you something, Harry, that’s the biggest bunch of BS I’ve ever heard in my life. You know why? Because even if you run away, even if we agree to never see each other again or communicate in any way…” she took a deep breath, steadying herself, “if Voldemort somehow found a way to kidnap me, he’d make sure you knew about it and I know you would come to save me, boyfriend or not.”
Harry blinked again, this time fighting back a tear at her words, their simple truth dawning on him.
“You’ve got it in your head that just because we’re not sharing it with friends and family, Voldemort won’t find out that we still care about each other…” her tear fell, “…and love each other very much.”
The words seemed to stop his heart for a few moments and Harry felt like the biggest fool in the world.
He blinked back more tears, breathing in heavily and looking away from her, closing his eyes and shaking his head slightly. His hands came up to his head and leaned his elbows on the table in front of him.
“How am I supposed to do it, Gin? What am I supposed to say to that?”
He felt her reach out to lay a hand on his shoulder, but he shrugged it off, standing up from the table and turning quickly to pound on the wall behind him, making only a muffled bang that didn’t carry too far.
“I can’t make myself not care…” He turned towards her, a single tear rolling down his cheek. “I’m always going to care.” He turned his back to her.
He heard her push away from the table, coming around to him before he could move away from her.
“Choose your priorities, Harry.” She reached up, laying a hand on his shoulder. Warmth spread through him at her touch and as much as he knew he should pull away, he didn’t. “Defeating Voldemort is your goal right now. That’s what’s important: Not Quidditch, not Hogwarts, not even Remus or Ron or Hermione, not even m-“
He cut her off, mid sentence in the only effective way he knew to make her from saying something stupid: by turning around quickly and kissing her firmly on the mouth. She melted at once into his kiss, her hands coming up behind his head and running her fingers through his hair. His own hands found the small of her back, pushing her towards him with more urgency than he realized he needed at the time. It had definitely been too long since either of them had shared this and it seemed their puppy love at Hogwarts had grown through the distances to something that neither of them could quite put into words.
Pulling back finally, her breath breezed gently across his face as he stared into her surprised, but not disappointed eyes that were still so beautiful to him.
“Why can’t you be my first priority?” he whispered pleadingly. Tears were now streaming down her face freely. “Why do I have to be the Chosen One? Let’s go…now. I don’t care about Voldemort. I don’t care about horcruxes or prophecies or dark lords…Is it too much to ask to have one normal thing in my life?”
Ginny let out a ragged breath, that sounded like a held back sob, and reluctantly stepped back out of Harry’s arms. “This is more important than either of us right now, Harry,” she said, her voice quivering. She closed her eyes briefly, taking a deep breath before looking back at him again. “You’re right,” she gave him a watery smile, “it’s not right that I should go, I can see that now. You have your destiny and I have mine. Maybe one day they’ll meet, but it can’t be right now. You’ve got to concentrate on what Dumbledore has taught you and save this bloody ungrateful world from a madman.” She smiled at him again, the last few tears falling from her eyes. “You know that I’ll be right here at the end…you know that I’ll never stop waiting for you.”
He watched her start to walk away with an anguished but accepting expression on his face. Without thinking, he called out to her quickly, and she turned, waiting for what he had to say.
“I love you, Ginny.”
Only one side of her mouth drew up slightly, but she replied,
“I love you, too.”
She walked away from him that time, and he never forgot how hard it was to let her go.
----
The first thing that registered with Ginny was the fact that her head seemed to be being hit all over with bludger bats and the pounding echoed through her whole body, making her whimper softly and shut her eyes tighter, wishing she could go back to being unconscious.
A cool cloth was pressed to her forehead, making it a bit better, but not very much.
“I know I said I didn’t want you to burn down the house, but you didn’t have to go shed your excess energy by getting completely tanked,” a dry voice commented, taking the cloth away and pressing it to other areas of her face and neck.
Ginny cracked her eyes open a small bit to see Riley’s concerned face peering down at her. She opened her mouth to speak, but only managed a few coughs, each one brining another douse of pain to her head.
“Oh Merlin…” she brought a hand to her head, as if trying to hold it together so it wouldn’t explode. “What happened?”
“Harry said you had a row with Edward.”
Ginny frowned, getting her eyes to open all the way and looking straight at her house mate. “Harry?”
She nodded nonchalantly, reaching over to Ginny’s sideboard and grabbing a glass of potion that looked foul and added a small caplet of something in it, twirling it as she let it dissolve in the brown, murky potion. “He’s the one who flooed me a while ago. Said you might need a little help getting up this morning. I only got back about an hour ago.”
Letting out a long sigh, Ginny sat up gingerly, wondering why she ever got drunk. “I don’t really remember…I didn’t do anything stupid, did I?”
Riley shook her head smoothly, handing Ginny the goblet of potion. “He sounded more concerned than anything else.”
“Knowing Harry that means I did something truly idiotic and he’s trying to save me from my own humiliation.” She held her nose as she downed the drink in two gulps, pulling a face, but thankfully the pressure in her head eased up quite a bit.
“That doesn’t make much sense.” Riley took the cup from Ginny and handed her some muggle pills and a glass of water. Being muggle-born, Riley had an odd way of mixing both of her heritages, but most of the ideas she had turned out to be ingenious, so Ginny dutifully downed the two pills as well.
“That’s what Harry does,” the youngest Weasley, “he saves everyone…even from ourselves.”
“Humm…” Riley didn’t say much as she gathered up her potion ingredients and put them back into her kit, leaving the cup of water with Ginny. Looking back at her, she wore a tired grin. “Those pills will kick in, in about 30 minutes. Till then I suggest you do a non-strenuous activity like taking a shower or getting your arse to the fireplace and thanking your ‘friend’ for not letting you rot in that nightclub last night.”
Ginny rolled her eyes at Riley’s retreating back. Sometimes it was a pain to have a training medwitch as a roommate, especially one who could read people so well.
----
Ron Weasley’s shaky hand folded up his short but to-the-point note and he sealed it quickly, attaching it to the leg of his owl and sending it flying out the window.
He stood there for a moment, wondering if anyone had any idea what he was going through and had any brilliant advice for him at that moment…But he had made his decision. He just hoped that he and his family could live with the consequences of his actions and hoped dearly that he would figure out something to tell his wife before she found out on her own.
Warm arms wrapped around his stomach and an oversized belly rested warmly on his back. He turned and smiled as he wrapped his arms around his beautiful wife and they both walked back into the kitchen where Misty was preparing a late breakfast for them.
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Nymphadora Lupin liked to give herself some credit for the times that she tried desperately to serve her husband breakfast, but after failing so miserably, so often, she knew the only one who would give her credit was her oaf-of-a-husband himself, Remus.
She muttered a few swear words as she waved her wand, making the dishes start to clean themselves as she tried to salvage all the eggs that weren’t burnt. Unfortunately, as she took the eggs over to the table, she managed to trip on the tie of her bathrobe and both she and the eggs flew unceremoniously up in the air before landing abruptly on the floor.
Before she even had time to sit up, there was a bright flash and a distinct click of a camera before footsteps began running down the hall and up the stairs.
Eyes going wide, Tonks scrambled off the floor, forgetting the eggs that were covering the kitchen tile and raced after her husband, annoyed at being caught, but inwardly comforted at the Marauder in him showing every so often.
----
Sunday mornings for Harry consisted either of breakfast at Ron and Hermione’s or Remus and Tonk’s. Unfortunately, both couples had cancelled on him today, so he had enjoyed sleeping in, eating dry cereal and drinking milk straight from the bottle.
There always were perks to living alone.
After a short firecall to Riley and vowing not to do work today, he had tidied up his kitchen and retreated to his small study to catch up on some reading he had wanted to do for a while. He had a large selection of muggle fiction books that Hermione had been giving him throughout the years since she realized he didn’t want to read textbooks or political and historical stuff. They had all turned out to be rather interesting to Harry and a great release from the many hectic years he had since Hogwarts. He was currently right in the middle of the series of Lord of the Rings and was finding it highly entertaining from a wizarding point of view. He remembered seeing somewhere that they had made some muggle movies of it a few years ago and was keen to check those out as soon as he finished reading.
“Harry?”
The voice was softer and much less obnoxious from the rude call Ron had given him a few days ago and, marking his place in The Two Towers, he hurried out of his library into his family room where he was surprised to see Ginny Weasley offering him a pathetically thankful face.
“I did something stupid, didn’t I?” she said without preamble.
Harry chuckled, leaning down to bring his face level with hers. “You don’t remember anything?”
She shook her head in the negative. “Last thing I remember was Edward showing me that blasted ring again…then I guess I started drinking too much, though I don’t blame myself.”
“Ah, yes…Edward…” Harry tried not to sound annoyed as he said the name. “You sure know how to pick them, Gin. Understand I’m saying that purely sarcastically.”
She rolled her eyes at him. “Anyway, thanks,” she said sincerely, catching his eye. “I guess I was lucky you were there last night and not Ron.” She looked worried. “You didn’t tell him, did you?”
“Actually they cancelled on me this morning,” Harry said dryly. “I was left to my own devices which would be more of a welcome change if I had any food in this house.”
“Why don’t you come over here?” she said without hesitation. “Riley’s home, so of course she’s going to cook.”
“It’s eleven in the morning, Gin,” Harry pointed out.
“Well, I’ll get her to make a good lunch.”
“Actually I…er…already have plans for lunch,” Harry said, hesitating.
Her eyebrows rose. She obviously wasn’t expecting that, but she covered her surprise well. “Harry Potter has a date? Call the newspapers, folk-“
“Don’t you dare!” Harry cut her off, half joking, half serious. “Besides,” he sighed, “it’s not a date. More like a…meeting.”
She looked skeptical, but accepted his excuse and with another thank you and goodbye, whooshed out of the fireplace.
Harry let out a breath as she finally was gone, not because he didn’t want to talk to her anymore, but he really didn’t want her to ask any more questions about his lunch “meeting”.
He didn’t want to tell her that the reason he wasn’t accepting her invitation was because he had already accepted one from his ex-girlfriend, Emily Lennon.
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A/N: Next time: Emily and Harry...yes you know you all are curious.