Chapter 15: Foreshadowing
There was a spy. The whole Order knew it. They had once been so close – a tight band of good people, who wanted to change what was happening to their world. But lately, Voldemort seemed to be anticipating everything they did. Of course, there had been spies in the Ministry before, but never in the Order. Everyone was suspicious of everybody else. And if anyone was behaving differently than usual, then you couldn’t help but wonder. In fact, the thought of Remus crossed Sirius’s mind. Several times. Sirius, Lily and James had been planning for Sirius to be their Secret-Keeper the night before, and that night, Sirius had gone to Lily and James’s for dinner again, as he always did, and Remus and Tara joined them. There was something ... odd, about them both. In fact they seemed ... snappy at each other. Remus had said something like, “Sorry we’ve not been for a while, we’ve both been busy.”
And then Tara had rolled her eyes and muttered, “Whose fault is that? You’re always away on business!”
“Are you saying that it’s a bad thing? Sorry if I don’t want to waste my life!”
“I do not want to waste my life! I’m happy as I am, but you’re not, are you?”
And then, Lily had loudly announced something irrelevant, trying to change the subject. Remus and Tara had barely spoken the rest of the night. Sirius had thought that Remus’s “business” could have been with Voldemort, and Tara was suspicious, but didn’t know for sure. But he knew he should never have thought it – Remus was probably just working himself too hard, he always did it when things got tough – it was his way of dealing with things. But it was Voldemort again, making everybody suspicious of everybody else.
But somewhere inside, he decided not to trust him with anything. You could never be too sure when lives were at stake. And there was the werewolf thing. He had to admit, that a part of him thought that even though his friend was human most of the time, there was still something inside him. A kind of dark energy, that would make him just that bit more likely than others to turn to darkness.
Sirius, sighed as he got into bed. Voldemort was even getting between the Marauders. The four friends who had sworn to always stay together. To never betray each other. To never doubt each other.
There was nothing he could do.
Sirius woke up, and stretched. He shook his head, to get his hair out of his eyes, much like a dog does. Next, he had a quick shower, got dressed, had a rushed breakfast, and hurried downstairs to being preparing for the day. Everything was so easy living above your workplace.
He had half an hour to himself before Penny and Peter showed up (Jack, however, had a habit of taking 9:00 to mean 9:30).
It was a year and three months since Harry was born – almost exactly, as they were nearing the end of October. He couldn’t believe that the time had gone so fast.
He was in the corridor at the back of the shop, and entered the showroom at the front to begin preparing the stock for the day. He got the shock of his life when he opened the door to find someone waiting for him. She turned at the sound of him entering. The last time he had seen this woman, she was in full Death Eater uniform. Now, with her simple, yet elegant navy robes, she would blend into the crowd as easily as the next witch, nothing about her to suggest who her master was.
“Sirius,” she smiled, warmly. “I haven’t seen you in forever! Thought I’d pop over and have a little chat.”
“How did you get in, LaLa? The lock needs more than Alohomora, and an alarm should have gone off!”
“Well, first I broke your window. Then I broke your alarm. Then it got draughty, and I repaired the window. But not the alarm.”
He stepped closer to her, and stared at her, hard. “What do you want?”
She placed her hand on his cheek, and her voice softened. She smiled, mockingly, and murmured, “I just want to talk to you.”
“Like hell,” he hissed, grabbing her wrist and twisting away. “Now, don’t touch me again.” He let her go, and she brushed herself down.
She smiled. “Fair enough. Now tell me where the Potters are living.”
He snorted. “No! Did you think I’d just say it out loud like that?”
She shrugged. “Not particularly. I just wanted to be absolutely sure that you knew what I was here for.” She took out her wand, and twirled it round her fingers. “Do you want to do this here, or would you rather we went somewhere more private?”
“You’re not going to try and torture me, LaLa. You know I’d never betray my friends.”
“Why not? You betrayed your pathetic little girlfriend while we were in school. You remember ... You, me, a broom closet. Several, in fact.”
“And look how well that turned out. You’re evil, and I hate you,” Sirius scoffed.
“I’m not evil. Playing on the winning side doesn’t make you a bad person.”
“Okay, I’ll give you that. It’s all the murdering and torturing that contribute to that little label. But you know what? I don’t think you are evil. I think you’re absolutely terrified. Just because you’re winning, doesn’t strip you of a conscience. Are you going to deny that everything you’re a part of, doesn’t eat away at you? You’re not a bad person, LaLa, you weren’t even in Slytherin. You weren’t evil from the start. You were in Ravenclaw, you were intelligent; but somewhere in your life, something corrupted you. Something made you twisted. Maybe, that something was me. If it was, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. But you’re not evil.”
She seemed to wake from a trance that his words had put her into. “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” she spat.
“Don’t I? You shouldn’t lie to me, LaLa. I saw the way your eyes looked as I said all that. You realised I was right. And if you didn’t, why aren’t I dead, or being cursed right now?” He reached out, and took her wand easily from her hand. “You see? You’ve completely let your guard down. Because you realise now, that your side maybe the winning one, but it’s not the right one.”
There was silence for a minute, as they looked at each other. Sirius had fiery determination in his eyes, whereas LaLa looked worried. Finally, she looked away, and said something, “The first mission I was sent on was to kill the McKinnon family – all of them.”
“I remember,” Sirius told her, recalling the devastation, not long after they had left Hogwarts.
She continued, “I don’t even know why, I just know that they were on Dumbledore’s side. I’ve done so much more since then, but it’s that time that still haunts me. The very first time I took a life. I can still see the woman’s face – she must have only been in her twenties.”
Sirius didn’t want to hear it, it reminded him too much of Lola, but he knew she had to get it off her chest. He said nothing.
“And it haunts me, even now. Bella said everyone gets it sometimes, even she did, but it will pass. It never has.”
“Well, Bella can talk a lot of crap sometimes, none of it’s ever true. She’s always been a nasty bit of work – but you haven’t. The reason this woman’s face haunts you is because you know that being a murderer wasn’t you’re path – it’s not what you’re meant to do. Let me help you, LaLa, you’re in too deep. You’re not a killer.”
“But I am! I’ve killed people, that’s what makes you a killer, Sirius! Nothing can change that. And why would you want help me after all the things I’ve done? Wouldn’t you rather just kill me, or hand me to Dementors?”
“No I wouldn’t. Because we need all the people we can get on our side. Some people – like Bellatrix – will never be able to fight for the good side. But the ones who could, the ones who can find it in them to change sides, should come to us. Who knows? You change, and one more person might stay alive. Isn’t it worth it, just for that?”
LaLa almost looked persuaded. “But the people, the ones you fight alongside, they’ll all hate me. They won’t believe me.”
“You wouldn’t be the first Death Eater to do it,” Sirius told her, reluctantly thinking of Snape.
“I wouldn’t?”
“No. Now go upstairs and wait in my flat. Go to sleep or something, you can rest. Or help yourself to some food. Just don’t make too much noise.”
Her face began to crumple. “He’d kill me, Sirius. You know he would.”
“But at least you’d be killed for something that you know deep down is worth dying for. Anyway, I’ll try and protect you. We all will. But LaLa –”
She bit her lip, nervously. “Yes?”
“You do this, and there’s no going back. Do you understand?”
She nodded, and left. He heard her go up the stairs. He checked his watch, alarmed to see that he had five minutes to set everything out. He began to run around like a madman, preparing the stock. He nearly jumped a mile when he heard a key turn in the lock.
“Hi!” Penny chirped, brightly. Peter followed her in. “Hey, aren’t you done yet? Need a hand?”
“Yeah, thanks. I had a visitor.”
“Oh, who?”
He stopped. He didn’t want to tell anyone about LaLa just yet. She wasn’t ready for people to start sniffing around her.
“No one important,” he muttered, turning away. She raised an eyebrow, but said nothing.
By the end of the day, Sirius was worn out. He had spent it fretting and worrying, not able to steal even five minutes to check on his guest. Once Penny, Jack and Peter had finally left, and he had locked up, he raced upstairs.
“LaLa? LaLa? Are you okay? I’m sorry I couldn’t check on you, it was busy. Summer holidays, the kids all want new brooms.”
He found her on his sofa, holding a full cup of coffee, staring into space. He sat down next to her, and took it from her hands, not all that surprised to find it cold.
“How long have you been sitting here?”
“Three, maybe four hours. I’ve been thinking.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“No. But ... but thanks for being so good to me. I don’t deserve it.”
They sat together in silence. Sirius was very conscience of her presence. Just her being there made him think about their history – how horribly things had gone when he was two-timing Tara. It may have been a long time ago now, but all the memories came surging up. These led to him thinking about Lola, something he usually tried not to do. Even over a year after her death, it was like a knife wound every time he thought about it all.
He looked at the time. Lily and James would be waiting for him. “LaLa, I have to –”
She cut him off, throwing herself at him, and kissing him. For a moment he was merely bewildered, until he realised what was happening, and gently pushed her away. She looked as shocked as he felt.
“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to ... You were just sort of ... And so I ... I’m so sorry!”
“It doesn’t matter. But you know we would never work, you know that. I want to help you. It wouldn’t help. Nothing like that must ever –”
“I know, I’m really sorry. I’m just so confused. Everything’s changed for me now – I hardly know what I’m doing.”
“It’s okay. We’ll talk, and try to work things out. But right now, I have to be somewhere.”
“Of course. But Sirius, could you not mention me to anyone? I want to get used to the idea myself, before I truly fight the Good Fight.”
“Okay. I’ll see you later. If you want to sleep, use my bed, or transfigure the sofa, it doesn’t matter. Whichever.”
She nodded, and he Disapparated, appearing in the Potter’s Living Room.
“Hey, Sirius. We were just coming to find you.”
“Sorry, something came up. Where’s my Godson? I’m usually being drooled on by now!” He looked offended that he wasn’t.
“He’s waiting in the Dining Room, you’re late!” she chastised, pushing him through. They sat down and began to eat.
“I had a visit today. From L – a Death Eater.”
James snapped his head up, “Who?”
“I ... didn’t see their face. They wanted to know about you, and where you live. I didn’t tell them – of course I didn’t – but it got me thinking. I mean, my being Secret-Keeper, it’s so obvious. They must have known it will be me straight away.”
“What’s your point?” asked James, while Lily fed a giggling Harry, but staring at Sirius so that she kept missing her son’s mouth.
“Why don’t we change it to someone less obvious?” Thoughts of his suspicions about Remus came to mind. “Like Peter? And if we pretend that I’m Secret-Keeper, tell no one, then they won’t know. I’ll look for a small house somewhere to move to, so that they think their visit scared me into going into hiding myself – it’s probably for the best anyway – and you can be Secret-Keeper for me. What do you say?”
“I dunno, Sirius. It’s risky – I don’t want to jeopardise Harry in any way at all,” Lily said.
“But this could keep him safer. No one will suspect Peter, and we can trust him.”
“You know, it’s actually a good plan,” James mused, thoughtfully.
“Shouldn’t we at least tell Dumbledore?” Lily asked. They continued to discuss the matter for some time, eventually agreeing to do the switch in two days time. In the meantime, Sirius would begin searching for a new home, somewhere more discreet that the flat above his workplace.
Harry managed to get more of his dinner on his face than in his mouth, giggling to himself, completely unaware of what was happening.
He got home to find LaLa curled up asleep on the sofa. Over the next few days, they talked things through, he arranged to move into a small, out of the way house, and Peter was switched to Secret-Keeper for Lily and James.
LaLa was making vast improvements – it would still be a couple of days before she could officially expose herself as a “good guy”, but every day she grew more confident with her new self. There hadn’t been any hint of an incident like the one on her first night, and Sirius was grateful – things were confusing enough. He walked in after work to find a tempting smell wafting from the kitchen. Picking his way over cardboard boxes, he found her making some pasta.
“Cooking? That’s new.”
“I feel so bad about staying here and not paying my way, so I thought I’d make some dinner for us both. Do you mind?”
“Well ... no, I guess not. Thanks.”
“I know you usually go to your friends, but I thought that for just one night ...”
“Yeah. Sure. Can I help?”
“Nope, I think everything’s – Merlin, what was that?” Sirius was already running towards the sound of a large bang in his living room. Around twenty Death Eaters were waiting for him.
“Sirius, cousin dearest, we’ve been dancing about far too long, with messages, and warnings. It’s time you had a word with the man who makes it all happen,” It was quite clear who was under the mask.
“What’s going on?” LaLa came running out of the Kitchen. Bellatrix raised her eyebrows at the sight of her former friend, but said nothing. LaLa, however, looked terrified.
“Well, well, we’ve been looking everywhere for you. We presumed you had duelled with Sirius on your mission, and lost. But please don’t tell me you actually started LIVING with him. Well, no matter. The Dark Lord will be ... interested to find out where you went, won’t he? Right then, stun them, and tie them both up.”
Sirius looked around wildly. There were too many to fight, too many stunning spells to dodge. Besides, everything had already gone black.
AN: Cliffie alert! Sorry! What do you think of LaLa’s change of heart? Did it surprise you? Review, and let me know!