Tabby trudged through the hallway, feeling sick to her stomach. Slowly, she made her way to the Ravenclaw Tower; her feet felt as if they were made of iron and her eyes were tearing up, causing her vision to go blurry. She only wanted to talk to one person at that moment.
Thankfully, Marcus opened the doorway to the Ravenclaw common room as soon as Tabby arrived there, saving her from the hard questions she needed to answer to enter â” Marcus hardly ever got a question wrong, Tabby hardly ever got a question right. She didnât think her self esteem could of handled another blow.
All she did on the long trek through the corridors was insult herself. How could I have let my relationship with him grow so much? What was Darren going to think? Iâm scum. Iâm worse than scum. Her thoughts got so nasty, in fact, that they were what caused her eyes to start watering.
But he was there. Tabby didnât talk to him too often. Some weeks went by where they had barely said a word to each other. When things got hard, almost too difficult to handle, like the time Chris was sick with the dragon pox, Marcus was the only one she really wanted to talk to. There were some things that Quinn and Nikki wouldnât understand, and some things that you just couldnât share with family.
The issue of Decimus Malfoy being one of them.
He saw her immediately and asked, âNeed to talk?â
Tabby nodded deftly. She didnât trust her voice to not break. Marcus grabbed her by the forearm and dragged her down the winding stairway of the tower. They walked silently, and Tabby preferred it that way.
Marcus found their place â” a small nice niche, out of the way and vision of students and teachers. It was where they went to talk and study, a quiet area of the world where everything felt as if it wasnât broken into shards. It was their bandage; where they went to cover up wounds, if not actually heal them.
Feeling exhausted for some unknown reason, Tabby sat down with a sigh, and Marcus seated himself across from her. They stared at each other for a moment, taking the other in. Tabitha saw a tall, gangly thirteen-year-old, whose dirty blonde hair needed to be brushed. Marcus saw a lost and confused soul craving for answers.
âWhatâs wrong, Cat?â Marcus asked. Tabby cringed inside â” the constant comparison of her name to a tabby cat was sorely overused. Her father giving her feline figurines was one thing, but referring to her as âCatâ was something she wouldâve rather kept secret. If it was someone other than Marcus, she wouldâve hexed him long ago.
âI messed things up, Marc.â He was the lucky one without an embarrassing nickname. âAnd I donât know how to get myself out of it.â
âDoes it have something to do with Darren?â His voice was lofty and soft, so much like his motherâs it was eery.
Tabby considered. âSort of, but not really.â She blushed and looked down. âIt has more to do with Decimus.â
Marcus kept his face impassive, even though he felt like yelping girlishly, as he replied, âI see. He tutors you in Transfiguration, right? You couldâve come to me. I wouldâve helped you.â
âBut youâre so clumsy youâd have turned my hair purple.â
âYes, but youâd pass the class, AND you wouldâve looked great.â
Tabby snorted.
âWant to relay the story?â Marcus asked after a short pause. He tilted his head to the side, and Tabby thought he looked a great deal like the Muggle people who are paid to give advice.
And so the red-head went on to explain her story, starting at her fight with Quinn and ending with the long walk back from the Astronomy tower. It was amazing how little Marcus had known about what was happening to her, and she felt a pang of regret when she realized they didnât talk as much as they really should.
âWhen was the last time you talked to Quinn?â Marcus tilted his head the other side, this time.
âA . . . few weeks.â
He responded with a look that made her feel even more ashamed, if possible. âI know Iâm a terrible friend, Marcus! I should just go curl up in the dungeons and rot.â
âNow that wouldnât be a lot of fun, would it? And a lot of people would be upset if you died. A lot of people love you, Catty. Quinn, Nikki, your parents, Chris, little Julie, me, and, from what I hear, Decimus and Darren, too.â
He leaned in closer. âYour fatal flaw, Tabs, is that you care too much about what people think. Stop trying to please the world, and do what you want to do. The reason you agreed to go out with Darren was because it would make him happy. The reason you wouldnât say you fancied Decimus was because you were scared your family would be upset.â
âI donât â”â
âThe reason,â Marcus continued, his voice rising to tune her out, âyou fought with Quinn was to protect Nikki, and you forgot about how Quinn would feel.â He rolled his eyes. âDo I need to keep explaining this, Cat? Iâm not a big believer of destiny â” Mum and I have thought âbout it a lot, and we think that your choices affect your fate, not the other way around.
âYou choose what you want to do with your life, and to do that you need to take a stand. If you keep caring about what everyone else wants you to do, your life will be what everyone else wants it to be.â
âWhat are you saying, Marc?â Tabby asked, although she had a feeling she knew what the answer was.
âTake a stand, Cat. Make amends and start doing what you want to do, and not what everyone expects of you.â
Tabby pursued her lips in thought for a moment, then stiffened when she heard footsteps coming nearer. âIs it past curfew?â she mouthed to Marcus, who responded with a nod and mouthed back, âHas been for a while.â
They dove behind pillars as the sound grew closer. âA teacher?â Tabby, who was behind Marcus and couldnât see as clearly, breathed out almost soundlessly. Marcus shook his head. It didnât sound like a professor; the footsteps were too quiet and not as sure of themselves, almost hesitant. A pair of trainers came into view, and Tabby and Marcus huddled behind the stone and held their breath, until Tabby realized that she knew those trainers all too well.
âGareth!â she exclaimed, pushing Marcus away from her rather roughly. He landed on his back on the harsh stone floor some ten feet away from where he used to be, gasping for air. This went unnoticed by Tabby, who walked over to Gareth.
âWhat are you doing here? We thought you were a teacher!â She smiled in relief and looked up at him. He seemed just as shocked, his hand crossed over his heart as if to slow it down.
âEveryone in the common room randomly voted me to risk getting detention and fetch food from the kitchens.â He raised a dark eyebrow at her. âWhat are you doing here?â Noticing the splotchy red spots on her cheeks and her red-rimmed eyes, he asked, âWere you crying?â
Tabby rubbed haphazardly at her cheeks. âItâs nothing, really. Just ranting to Marcus.â She nodded to the Ravenclaw who now lay on the floor, staring up at the ceiling and twiddling his thumbs.
âYou know, I never realized before how elaborate the ceilings of this castle were,â Marcus mused out loud. Tabby yanked and pulled him up off the floor. Gareth didnât say anything, just kept his face impassive.
âWant to come with me to the kitchens?â he asked quietly.
âNo thanks, Gareth. Iâm tired.â She forced a yawn and gave him a watery smile. âYou best go get the food now, before they all get angry.â
Gareth nodded and walked away reluctantly. Right as he reached the end of the corridor, he called over his shoulder, âIf you want to talk, Tabby, Iâm here.â He didnât say it very loudly, but in the still air she still heard it.
âWho was that?â Marcus asked, once the mysterious Gryffindor vanished. âIâve never met him before. A friend of yours?â
âDonât get the wrong idea! Heâs just a friend. I beat him at Quidditch tryouts, and he seemed kind of lonely, so I let him follow us around. Heâs nice â” youâd like him.â She grinned at Marcus, who responded with a serious expression.
âMake amends with Quinn.â
Tabby sighed. âWeâre back to that again, eh?â
âI wasnât aware we left.â Marcus patted her shoulder. âApologize to Quinn. Then start making your own choices. We all love you, Cat. We just want you to be happy.â
âYou make it sound so easy.â She gave him a lopsided smile.
He smiled back and simply shrugged. âYouâre the one who makes it so difficult for yourself.â
~*~
Tabby crept up to her dormitory, careful not to awaken any of her fellow Gryffindor fourth years. Luckily, she knew the room so well finding her way around in the dark wasnât difficult as she made her way to Quinnâs bed. She nudged her shoulder. âQuinn,â she whispered.
Nikki, who was a light sleeper (being who she was, it was difficult for her to resist her nocturnal tendencies), grumbled a bit. Tabby held her breath until she rolled over, her breathing slow and even.
âQuinny.â Her lips were a millimeter away from Quinnâs ear. âQuinn!â
Confused brown eyes glared at bright green ones.
âOh. Hi.â Tabby smiled.
Quinn groaned and shifted so she was laying on her back. âWhaâs all dis about?â Her response was barely audible. Eyes clenched tight, Quinn spoke through tight lips.
âCan we talk downstairs?â Tabby pleaded.
âCan it wait?â
Tabby contemplated her conversation with Marcus, and what he wouldâve done in this situation. âNo, it canât. Just talk with me downstairs for a few minutes? Please?â
Quinn grumbled and sat up, rubbing her eyes and yawned. Her mouth was too open, her arms flailed too much, and the sound that emitted from her was too loud. Tabby rolled her eyes at the melodrama and pulled Quinn off the bed.
âWhat do you need, Tabitha?â Quinn asked once they reached the common room. She looked as if she had lived through a battle â” her clothes were wrinkled, her hair stood on end as if she had been struck with lightning. She was a heavy sleeper, one of the many things she didnât have in common with Nikki. While the vampire awoke at the slightest scruff on the hardwood floor, Quinn could the whole night without moving a bit.
âI . . . I need to apologize.â Tabbyâs pride wouldnât let her look her friend in the eyes. She didnât like apologizing, so she started talking fast, all in a rush. âYou were right â” what Nikki did was inexcusable and she deserved you yelling at her. Youâre always right, and Iâm sorry you feel as if I always take her side. Please, come back? Nickâs sorry, too, and Iâm tired of seeing you sitting by yourself in class. Have you met Gareth? Youâll like him, heâs really nice and smart, like you. Heâ”â
Quinn clamped a hand over Tabbyâs mouth. âYouâre babbling,â she scolded, but to Tabbyâs relief she smiled. âI know how hard it is for you to apologize, so I accept, I suppose. But please shut up. Youâre giving me a headache.â
Tabby felt that a hug at that moment wouldâve been too clichĂ©, so she kept her hands to herself as Quinn went on.
âIâll admit that sometimes I am too hard on Nicola, but I want an apology from her, too. And how come it took you so long? I was getting worried weâd never talk again. Can we go to sleep now, please? Iâll be a dead weight tomorrow â” completely useless.â
Quinn took Tabbyâs hand and led her up the stairs, and Tabby felt as if an enormous weight had been lifted from her shoulders. Her trio was back (if she could convince Nikki to apologize, too) and, problems with Decimus aside, she felt content.
AN~ Wow. How long has it been since I last updated? I apologize, and next chapter will not take as long. Promise. =]
This chapter is dedicated to TrueIllusions1 and nysuperstarz, for being the only people to ever make me blush in real life online. ;] Thanks, once again, to my loyal beta Mari, who has stood by me since day one.