The Perfect Mistake by hearyoume
Chapter Notes: Finally, an update. Sorry it's taken so long! For days, I kept changing and editing this chapter and to be honest, I'm still a little nervous about it... I really hope you like it! Thanks to everyone that has reviewed and encouraged me to continue this, and also the people who have added this to their favorites. I appreciate it so much. (:
I woke up the next morning feeling particularly groggy. At first, it took me a moment to assess the situation. Sunlight was pouring out from a nearby window, spilling over the tangle of sheets among which I lay. I squinted, the brightness of the sun making my already aching head throb.
Then I felt someone’s arm under my neck. I slowly turned to my left and saw, to my horror, Draco Malfoy lying next to me. And that’s when it hit me. With a rush of memories and images flashing through my mind, I remembered exactly what had happened the night before, and how I ended up in bed with Draco Malfoy.
“Oh my God,” I groaned, sitting up and pulling the sheets around my body. What the hell did I do?
I immediately felt him stir beside me but couldn’t bring myself to look at him. I had started feeling extremely awkward and vulnerable, so I slid out of bed, looking around for my clothes. But I could feel his eyes on me, and, after making sure the sheets wrapped around me were secure, I turned to face him.
Our eyes locked immediately, and for a moment I just stood there staring at him, completely captivated as I gazed into his eyes. They were so full of emotion that I couldn’t tell what he was feeling, and after a few seconds I had to look away, overwhelmed.
“Here,” he said, getting out of bed and bending down to pick up my clothes. “I’ll let you get dressed,” he told me quietly, handing me the small bundle. I took them, and our hands brushed against each other. My stomach did a little back flip and I found that my mouth was too dry to speak, so I let him exit the room in silence.
Part of me wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. I don’t think I ever remembered being in such a strange and awkward position, but I knew that I couldn’t just leave on these terms. I was going to have to talk to him at some point, so I might as well get it over with now. It was the lesser of two evils: I could either sort things out there or go home, which is what I had been avoiding in the first place.
I slipped on the dress I had been wearing the night before, and was painfully reminded of who I had worn it for. It had always been Jonathon’s favorite dress of mine, and I had been so excited to be wearing it on our special evening together. But looking back, I realized that he never even commented on my outfit that night. I should have known then that he wasn’t the man I thought he was.
Feeling slightly sick to my stomach, I grabbed my shoes and exited the room. As I shut the door behind me, I saw an image of a messy bedroom with sheets and various clothes scattered about, and it made me feel even sicker than before.
I strode down the hallway, the marble flooring cold against my bare feet. I didn’t know where Draco had gone, but I thought the kitchen would be a likely place.
When I pushed the door open, I saw him sitting at a small yet intricately carved wooden table in the middle of the room. He held in his hands a cup of tea and was staring blankly at the wall in front of him. I noticed he was still in his boxers, and I found myself wishing he had gotten dressed. There was nothing wrong with his body by any means, but things were uncomfortable enough.
Nevertheless, I walked to the chair across from him and sat down. Without saying a word, Draco pushed his cup of tea towards me. It was practically full.
“Unless you want your own,” he muttered.
I grasped the cup and took a long sip. “That’s all I wanted,” I told him, and set the mug down.
“So,” Draco said, glancing up at me. He looked a little guilty, but there was a seriousness in his tone that made me realize he knew how freaked out I was, despite the calm demeanor I had attempted to maintain.
“Can we just forget it?” I asked simply, but already knew the answer.
He sighed. By now, I knew better than to assume it merely showed that he was deep in thought, but instead recognized it as his disappointment that I was willing to forget the entire incident. It was then that I suddenly wondered how my heart had become so hardened after it had been only been broken for such a short time.
“We can’t just... erase this, Ginny...”
“Dammit,” I cussed under my breath.
He paused. “You regret it that much, don’t you?” Draco asked. There was a trace of bitterness and hurt in his voice but I chose to ignore it.
“Well, we sure didn’t use any protection,” I retorted.
Draco groaned and rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands.
“God,” I whispered. “It wasn’t supposed to happen this way...”
He raised his head and studied me closely until the realization dawned on him. “Was I your first?” he asked me.
I didn’t answer. Instead, I looked down at my lap, feeling the worst feeling so far: shame. How could I have let this happen?
He sighed. “I took your virginity, didn’t I?” he asked me, quieter this time.
I felt the disgrace and embarrassment burn inside of me as I slowly nodded, not even looking in his direction. Though I could not see them I knew my cheeks were red and I determinedly avoided his gaze.
We sat in silence for a long time. I wanted to leave so badly but I dreaded the prospect of me going home to a house full of memories that I just wanted to forget. However, as each agonizing minute passed, I wondered if going home wouldn’t be so bad after all.
“Did it mean anything to you?” Draco asked abruptly.
“I- I don’t know, Draco.” I paused. “We’d been drinking. It wasn’t an act of love, it was... rash, and stupid...”
I quickly stood up and got my shoes, but when I turned to leave he caught my hand and stopped me. “Ginny,” he said. “What if it did mean something?”
I knew what he was doing. But even as he tried to tell me that he had feelings for me I could not let myself think, for one minute, that it could ever be. I ignored my heart and focused my attention on logic, which was telling me to end it now before it got any worse.
“It didn’t,” I said, sliding my hand from his grasp and grabbing my coat.
“Ginny, wait---“
“Just let me leave,” I practically begged him, and headed to the door. I was almost there, if he could only make it easy for me---
“I love you.”
I halted. It felt as if a lightning bolt had just struck me, and all I could do was stand there and listen to him beg for me to come back.
“I have for... a long time. Don’t throw this away, Ginny,” he said earnestly. “We could be together, we could---“
“No, Draco,” I said, turning to look at him. “It could never work.”
He opened his mouth to protest but I shook my head and backed away, holding up my hand to stop him before I had to hear any more of his pleas. “I could never love you,” I told him. “Never.”
I saw the hurt in his eyes immediately, and the impact of my words seemed to have left him frozen with shock. I turned around before I had to stare at the devastation in his features any longer, not allowing him to see the tears that had welled up in my own eyes.
Did I love him? I don’t know. But I cared for him so deeply that I was more than capable. There was no doubt in my mind that I turned my back on something special, and it was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. Yet I told myself that our families were too different, and our worlds too diverse to ever be able to come together and merge as one. I truly believed that the history between us ran so deep that nothing, not even love, could penetrate the wall dividing our lives. With those words, I knew I would break his heart. But I wasn’t prepared for how it would crush mine.
If only I had known then that as I walked down the stone pathway from his mansion and towards the towering gates surrounding it that something else besides a deep affection for Draco was growing inside me; something that, no matter how many words were said, neither of us could stop.
I was pregnant.