Memories of my brother’s visit had been plaguing my thoughts all morning, and I knew that it was only a matter of time before I had to face the rest of my family to tell them about my other secret.
I sighed and dropped my sandwich, suddenly not hungry. I had to tell Draco. I would not be able to hide my pregnancy for long, because I’d be showing in a couple of months.
Showing, I thought to myself with a shudder. I had tried to imagine, on multiple occasions, what I would look like when a little bulge had formed, but I couldn’t. The entire experience was so surreal that I would often wake up and wonder if it was all a dream. That is, until my morning sickness kicked in.
I sighed. I couldn’t keep this from Draco any longer. He had a right to know, and I needed to lessen the burden that was weighing down on me. The problem was, I hadn’t seen him all morning. I had thought about it, and I decided that the best way would be to ask him, at the office, if we could get together and talk sometime. And then I could break the news to him.
At that moment, I heard a soft knocking at my door, and my thoughts were interrupted. It had to be Draco. My stomach suddenly in tight knots, I knew what I had to do. I sat up straight, trying to gather myself, and said, “Come in.”
The door opened, but someone other than Draco entered my office. He smiled at me, and I actually felt a little relieved.
“Hey, Ginny,” he said.
“Hi, David, I haven’t seen you in a while.”
David nodded and plopped down in the chair in front of my desk. His hair was a mess, as usual, but his vivid green eyes looked slightly troubled. “Do you have anything for Intelligence?” he asked.
“Here’s a few,” I said, handing him a small stack of folders, which were stuffed with bits of parchment.
He leaned forward and took them from me before sitting back in his chair.
“You look a little stressed,” I commented.
David shrugged and smiled reassuringly. “It’s no big deal. I’ve just been really busy today, with Draco gone and all.” He paused, leaning forward a bit and lowering his voice. “Speaking of which, what do you think about Draco?”
Confused, I responded, “What do you mean? He’s out sick, isn’t he?”
David’s brows furrowed. “Didn’t he tell you?”
“Tell me what?” I asked, perplexed.
He stared at me. “I thought you two were friends,” he muttered.
My thoughts immediately went to the baby. Friends? I wish. Try parents. “David, what are you talking about?”
He sighed. “Draco quit yesterday.”
“What? Why?”
“Apparently the only explanation he gave was that he had to leave immediately. He said it was urgent.”
My heart skipped a beat. “Leaving? For how long?”
David shrugged. “No one really knows. All Draco said was he had to leave and he didn’t know when he’d be coming back.”
I felt like I had just been slapped. Hard. All I could do was stare at David in disbelief as I tried to let the news sink in.
“When is he leaving?” I managed to say.
“Today, I heard.”
I shook my head. “This doesn’t make any sense.”
David stood up. “I know,” he said. “I don’t understand either. I’m sorry I had to be the one that told you, Ginny.”
“It’s fine,” I said. “Thank you for letting me know.”
He nodded and left the room, where I spent the remainder of my day keeping myself busy so that I could forget about Draco’s sudden departure. But as soon as my clock read five o’clock, I quickly gathered my things and left my office. I had to catch Draco before he left, and I had to tell him the truth.
It was now or never.
I was standing outside the Malfoy Mansion. Again. Only this time, it wasn’t raining. And I wasn’t sure if he would be there.
I reached up and knocked on the door, dreading the moment when I had to face him yet hoping it wasn’t too late at the same time.
Draco opened the door, but when he saw who it was, he gave me a pained look as if begging me to leave.
“Er, hi Draco,” I said uncertainly.
He said nothing, instead glancing down at his feet. He closed his eyes for a few seconds, and when they fluttered open again, his expression was blank.
“I’m packing,” he said curtly.
I took a deep breath. “I need to talk to you,” I said.
He stared at me. “What is this about?”
“It’s important,” I told him.
He sighed. “Fine. Come in.”
I stepped inside the enormous front room as Draco shut the door behind me. I turned to face him, but suddenly found that I didn’t know what to say.
“Is this about... what we did?” he asked me quietly. He stood with his hands in his pockets, looking not at me but at the marble flooring beneath his feet.
I hesitated, then answered slowly. “Well... yes. It is.”
Draco looked up at me, but I was surprised to see barely any emotion in his features. His face was expressionless and he seemed only mildly interested in what I had to say. His demeanor was so... detached, that I couldn’t help but feel annoyed.
“Look,” I said. “I don’t mean to keep bringing it up, it’s just that---“
“I’m sorry,” he said abruptly, and I faltered. I had been stunned into silence, for a moment, not because of what Draco had said, but because of the lack of emotion on his face when he said it. The way he apologized so guiltlessly reminded me of Jonathon’s countless apologies, which meant nothing because of the way he still tried to justify his actions. A familiar burning anger crept up inside of me and I completely forgot about what I had been trying to say.
“What?” I asked.
“I’m sorry that it ever happened,” Draco told me, calmly walking forward. The sound of his footsteps echoed around the room, and I turned around just as he stopped, his back to me.
I glanced up at the large lantern hanging from the ceiling above us. The light coming from it was dimmer than I remembered, and the serpents seemed so life-like that I had to look away, shivering slightly at the memories of my first year at Hogwarts.
Then Draco spoke again, making me jump. “Actually, you know what?” he said. “I’m not sorry. It meant something to me, and it had to have meant something to you, too.”
His sense of composure completely threw me off; I didn’t know if I should believe the words coming out of his mouth or the cold indifference he suddenly seemed to have.
“God, Draco, that doesn’t matter,” I said. “It was too soon...”
“But if I rejected you, you’d probably be pissed at me because I didn’t care about you enough to be there for you.”
“This isn’t just about you, Draco!” I said forcefully. “I had just broken up with my fiancé! Do you think that’s what I needed right then? I needed someone strong and sensible who would be there for me, not someone who’d take advantage of the situation for their own personal gain! It was selfish and---”
“Stop it!” he yelled. “You don’t have a right to call me selfish!”
“Oh, that’s right, your actions are just a reflection of how fucking altruistic you are!” I said sarcastically.
“Damnit, Ginny, this is not my fault! YOU started this entire thing when you came to my house a month ago in the middle of the night!”
“Well you’re the one that made the first move!”
“And you let me!”
“In case you’ve forgotten, I had a lot to drink that night!”
“Are you trying to say that the only reason you slept with me was because you were drunk?!”
“Maybe I am!”
“That’s bullshit and you know it!”
“Oh, and how the hell do you know that, Malfoy?!”
“You know you were more than willing when you came into my bedroom that night!”
“Oh yeah?! Well you shouldn’t have taken advantage of me! Who the hell would make a move when I had just broken up with my fiancé?! I was distraught and I was hurt and you let things go too far!”
“I let things go too far? What about you? If you had enough sense to stop me from kissing you then you damn well had enough sense to stop yourself from pursuing me!”
“You can’t deny that you wanted it too! That’s why you didn’t stop me!”
“And I’m the one to blame because I let it happen??”
“Yeah, you are!”
“Well fuck you, Ginny, because nothing like that is ever going to happen again. If you’re looking for the selfish one then you should take a look in the goddamn mirror and set yourself straight!”
“At least I’m not the one running away!”
“I’m not running away, I just refuse to deal with you anymore!”
“Oh, right, because this is all my fault.”
“Well it’s certainly not mine!”
“And how is that??”
“You’re the one who came to my house. You stayed. You drank. You let it get to the point where I kissed you and you followed me into my bedroom. You knew that I had feelings for you and you still let it happen when you had no intention of having a relationship! And when I told you I loved you that morning, you’re the one who walked away. You hurt me, so I have every right to be pissed off.”
“If you really loved me, Draco, then you wouldn’t have let it happen!”
“Maybe I let it happen because I did love you, and I thought you did too.”
A silence descended upon us, worse than any other I had ever experienced. We had been standing about five feet apart, screaming at each other, and within seconds neither of was saying a word.
He stood there, breathing heavily, his face flushed with anger. My own chest was heaving and my throat was already sore. I glared at him, hating him with every fiber of my being for putting me in this position.
“Well,” I said icily, “I guess it doesn’t matter anymore. It’s over. It’s done. Forget about it.”
“Good,” he spat. “We’re finished. I don’t even want to look at your fucking face. You can go back to your disgrace of a family and let them deal with your bullshit. You disgust me.”
His words stung painfully. I had forgotten how malicious he could be, because it had been a long time since I’d seen the old Draco resurface.
“That’s fine by me,” I said coolly, thinking of the best insult I could. “Besides, I could never decide which was worse “ dating a Death Eater, or dating a traitor who got his own mother killed.”
Draco visibly recoiled, looking as if he had been slapped. “Get out,” was all he said through clenched teeth, and I left him, just as I had a month ago. Only this time, he didn’t try to stop me.
A/N: I've been excited to post this, so let me know what you think! Some of you might be wondering when Ginny is ever going to tell Draco, but don't worry. I have a plan for this. (Muahaha).