Who are you calling evil?
I hardly think that fits!
I’m a sensitive and kindly chap
Unlike those other gits…
Who are you to call me evil,
Just ‘cause I work for You-Know-Who?
I’m fifty times more virtuous
And humbler than you!
Are you jealous of my lustrous hair
That flows and swirls with grace?
Of the money in my pockets
Or the smirk across my face?
I’m not like other Death Eaters.
I’m not the type who clubs
The innocent to death and then
Goes bragging in the pubs.
Because I’m oh-so sensitive
After every killing spree,
Instead of bragging in pubs
I write heartfelt poetry.
I’m a fine upstanding pillar
Of this posh community
And these nice men WHO I DID NOT BRIBE
Should all agree with me.
I hope you understand me,
That I’m not an evil man.
So Wizengamot people,
DON’T PUT ME IN AZKABAN!
The Ballad of Lucius Malfoy: An Unappealing Appeal by Schmerg_The_Impaler
Chapter Notes: (I don't own Harry Potter, but I kind of wish I did. I'd keep him in my room and feed him table scraps.)
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