With a resolute step forwards, I placed my small hand on the handle, and pushed the door open.
The dimly lit room emitted an odd, cosmic noise. It seemed to flow in through my ears, into my brain, swaying backwards and forwards, as if slowly lulling me to sleep. Correctly identifying the area as the Planet Room, I hurriedly threw the door shut while shaking my head, sending my long, fiery red hair billowing down my back.
Instantly, the walls of the dark, circular first room began rotating quickly. The blue flames of the torches set in the walls became blurry blotches all around me, and by the time the moving walls had slowed down to a halt, my head was spinning.
I closed my hazel eyes for a moment, trying to focus.
The Planet Room would not hold what I wanted. I was not entirely sure of what I was looking for, but I knew it had to be in here, somewhere among this endless amount of rooms.
Something, I thought, anything.
Anything for Harry.
Acting on instinct, I turned and opened the door directly to my left. My hand had barely turned the doorknob when I knew it was wrong; an incessant ticking filled my ears as the door swung open to expose a room full of clocks of all shapes, sizes and sorts. I recognised the many objects and the golden shimmer over the space; I had been in this room as well only three short years ago.
In a moment of frustration I slammed shut the door, and stepped back to observe the spinning walls.
Not that one either.
When the revolving walls had once again settled down to a stop, I had no idea which door to open next.
But it must be in here, somewhere, I thought, turning more desperate with every second that passed. Something to help me - to help Harry.
I felt confused, tired and as if in a haze. I very much felt like stamping my foot, but knew it would do little good. I stood still, my arms hanging limply at my sides.
My unfocused gaze fell upon the door directly in front of me. It looked just like all the others, hard, strong and with a bluish tone in the odd light, but I knew there was something different with this door.
Not knowing why, I suddenly found myself moving slowly yet determinedly across the stone floor.
The heavy, steel door did not give a sound as I pushed it open. It swerved slowly on its hinges and revealed to me a doorway of complete and utter darkness. I could not even tell if it was a room; a step over the threshold could just as well be sending me falling through an eternity of nothingness. Cautiously, I peered over the edge.
I was engulfed by a mass of blackness. The air was still, and neither warm nor cool on the skin of my face. I could hear nothing, not even my heart pounding or the blood rushing in my ears. There was not even the slightest source of light in any way I looked. I was facing a whole eternity of… nothing.
Curiosity and anticipation filled every molecule of my body. There was a certain peace over the room, a quietness that appealed to me.
Nothing could be worse than going back empty-handed. That I would not be able to handle. There was no point in turning back.
Still holding both hands firmly at the doorposts, I extended my foot into the blackness before me.
Slowly, I drew small circles with my foot, playfully wriggling my toes.
There’s no point in turning back.
Picturing Harry’s proud face in my mind, proud that I had found something useful during my journey to the Department of Mysteries, I let go of the doorposts and stepped through the doorway.
There was no solid floor beneath my feet, neither was I falling. It felt strangely like floating, as if I was underwater.
I heard a faint click behind me and jerked my head around.
The door was gone.
No matter where I directed my eyes, I could just as well have had them closed. There was absolutely nothing around me.
Panic rose from the slight nausea in my stomach, to the tight knot in my chest, and settled in my racing mind. It had been foolish of me to come here, alone. But no one else had believed in me enough to trust me. Tears were forming in my unseeing eyes.
All I wanted was to help Harry… I’d do anything for Harry…
I closed my eyes and pictured Harry once again in my mind. His glittering green eyes, his dazzling smile and the small dimples it formed in his cheeks. Suddenly, I gave a small gasp; I almost thought I was imagining things when I heard a small ‘pop’ to my left.
I could not see clearly what had appeared, but there was something large and solid on my left hand side. Reaching out to touch it, I realised - it was my heart’s desire.
The door was back.
Fumbling to reach the doorknob, I pulled myself closer to the door in my strangely weightless state. Finally closing my hand on the rounded piece of cold metal, I once again opened the door.
Thankfully I stumbled through the doorway and onto the icy blue floor. No sooner had I stood up than the door slammed shut behind me and the walls of the front room had started spinning again. I was grateful to have solid ground beneath my feet once more, but was steadily growing tired of this incessant door-opening.
This one, I thought. This one’s got to be it. Then I’m going home.
The door clicked open. Thrusting it wide open, I stepped onto the grey, stone floor of the room.
A bitter cold sent a chill down my spine and made me lift my arms and fold them across my chest. Rubbing my upper arms with the palms of my hands, I took a few hesitant steps forward.
Fleeting whispers filled my ears and my mind, making me turn this way and that to find the source of the noise. My eyes fell upon an ancient, stone arch holding up a tattered and torn piece of cloth.
I had entered the Death Room.
Yet, it wasn’t the same Death Room as it had been only three short years ago. The amphitheatre-like steps were all crumbled, and leading down to the elevated dais was simply a rough, stone slope. There were doors, wooden ones, metal ones and some oddly shiny ones, along all four walls; but some that had been there last time were nowhere to be seen, while some were completely new to my eyes.
But the dissimilarity that frightened me the most was that the empty feeling in the Death Room was gone. I felt as if I was surrounded, and watched.
Ginny…
A loud hiss made itself distinguishable from the muttering and whispering that filled the air. Terrified, I whipped around, positive that the sound had come from behind me. Though as I turned to face the now closed door that I had come in through, a soft laughter came from the other side of the room. My heart seemed to skip a beat, and my breathing was caught in my throat as a sense of horror swelled in my chest.
What was wrong with this room? Why was it different?
Almost subconsciously, I started descending the slope towards the stone arch. The veil billowed peacefully in the still air, fluttering about, as if beckoning me closer. Eyes on the veil, I continued my downhill walking.
Ginny…
A certain whispering voice was steadily making itself more discernable. The closer I got to the arch, the clearer I could hear its pleading calls, begging me to come closer.
When I reached the dais, I fell on my knees before the arch, mesmerised by the veil’s slow movements. The voice was more distinguishable than ever.
Ginny…
“I’m here,” I whispered softly in the direction of the stone gateway.
The male voice’s owner seemed to fall silent in surprise.
Tears were rolling slowly down my pale cheeks. “Help me,” I sobbed weakly, still holding the fluttering veil with my gaze. “I miss you,” I added, my voice nearly breaking.
More tears welled up in my eyes as I became worried that he wasn’t going to answer, that he had left me again…
I’m sorry for dragging you into this mess, the voice said finally, making me exclaim a mixture of laughter and a sob of thankfulness. But, he told me, and I listened intently, there was always a way out, Ginny... there still is.
With a slow, understanding nod, I wiped my wet cheeks and stood up.
The veil flapped innocently in the still air of the Death Room. How could anyone fear or detest something so beautiful? I wondered, before extending one shaking hand, and pulling the dark veil aside.
My arm froze its sweeping motion as hesitation struck me.
Could this really be what he wanted; could it be the right thing to do? He always told me to be strong…
A sudden noise made me release my grip of the silky material, and hastily back away from the stone arch. Twisting my head around, I noticed that a black door had clicked open behind me.
The voice kept calling out for me, but it was no longer a whisper. Full of hope and anticipation, I hurried up the uneven rock slide.
I had known to whom the voice belonged, but seeing a mass of dark, unruly hair and sparkly green, bespectacled eyes upon entering the dark room made my insides squirm with delight.
“Harry!” I yelled, running across the dimly lit room with odd, glittering walls to the young man whose arms were spread open, and whose face was alit with a broad smile. I smiled back, feeling as if I was flying across the marble floor. But the closer to him I got, the more my joyful expression faltered.
I had reached the end of the room - yet another shimmering, bluish wall. Seemingly on the other side of it, stood Harry.
I took a few tentative steps back, scrutinising the glinting stretch of wall that kept me from the man I loved. Realisation dawned as I while squinting before me could discern my own reflection upon the image of Harry’s.
“It’s… a mirror,” I whispered, my frail voice shaking with sadness and disappointment. Something seared inside my chest, and with a sense of utter hopelessness, I sank to the floor.
The sound of Harry’s voice made my head snap upwards again. “But not any mirror,” he said mysteriously, taking a small step forward.
Harry came closer and closer. I almost felt tempted to raise my hand to touch him, but knew that all I would feel was the cool surface of the mirror. However, my mouth fell open in an audible gasp as Harry came even closer, and then simply stepped right through the glassy wall.
He helped me to my feet, and before I could say anything, he wrapped his arms around me in a tight hug.
Still in a marvelled state of mind, I automatically raised my arms and hugged him back. How? was all I could think. How can his arms feel so strong, his body so warm…
“Harry,” I finally managed, “aren’t you… dead?”
He froze for a second, and then broke our embrace. With his face close to mine, and his green eyes boring intently into my brown ones, he answered, “Not in this room.” He gave me a shrewd, puzzling smile. “Here we can be together, forever.”
Thoughts started zooming around inside my mind as he continued to hold me close, stroking my long red hair and my curved back. Harry had been my life, my reason to keep on going; but did he really mean for me to stay in this place… forever?
“Harry,” I started and attempted to pull away.
“Stay,” he murmured into the crook of my neck. My eyes went teary as I drew in his scent, felt his warmth and shivered with pleasure as his fingers traced my spine and my lower back.
“I-I can’t,” I choked out, stumbled backwards and leaned down on the first door handle I could get a hold of.
I slammed the door shut behind me, and closing my eyes, I leant back against it. I tried to get my ragged breathing under control and attempted to swallow a sob. After what seemed like an eternity, I slowly lifted my heavy eyelids to observe my surroundings.
The room was small and dimly lit with a reddish tone. The ceiling was low, yet I felt more cosy than trapped. Within the four dark walls was nothing, but for a large, soft armchair.
With a quizzical look playing about my face, I stepped to the armchair, which stood in the centre of the room. It was of worn leather, in a ruby red colour from what I could discern through the dimness. It looked very comfortable.
Almost subconsciously, I sank down on the soft cushions of the leather armchair. With a relieved sigh I drew up my knees to my chin, resting my weary feet on the pillows as well. My whole body ached, inside out; and I longed to just sit down and rest for a while.
Curling up into a warm and comfortable position and closing my eyes, a single tear rolled down my cheek.
***
I awoke with a jolt. I brought my palms to my face, and gingerly wiped the sleep out of my eyes. I wondered where I was, why it was dark and how I came to rest in this very comfortable armchair.
Then it all came back to me. Harry. Department of Mysteries.
Harry.
Guiltily, I stood. I had achieved nothing in the numerous rooms I’d been in. Shame lurking inside me, I traipsed to the nearest door in the room.
The floor was very odd; it was painted white, circular, bumpy and sloped down to a strange object in the middle of the room. The object emitted a flickering light; stepping closer I noticed that it was the flame of a candle, but the candle was… upside-down.
I jerked my head upwards, and my eyes were met by a very odd sight.
Rows and rows of dark, wooden benches were suspended by the ceiling, following the walls round and all facing the single chair that hung in the middle, also upside-down. It looked ominously like an old-fashioned, dungeon courtroom.
Suddenly, I felt dizzy. I grabbed the lantern beside me for support, and once again glanced around me. To my horror, I realised that the door I had come through was gone.
I gulped and drew a shaky breath. Sensing the worst, I tilted my head upwards once more.
There, in a gap between the wooden benches, was the door. The only way out.
My grip on the lantern had tightened considerably, and I was now more light-headed than ever. It was odd, looking at the seats so high above me, and knowing that they actually were the floor.
The only way out.
Suddenly I thought of Harry. What was that spell that he once told me about? Something like…
In a rush, I hurriedly whipped out the wand in my pocket. Screwing up my eyes, thinking hard, I pointed it at myself.
Levicorpus!
Letting go of the steady lantern, I felt my feet swing above my head, but did not dare open my eyes yet. I soared through the air, almost in a weightless state, until I thankfully felt gravity once again tugging at my feet.
I touched down, and opened my eyes. Old benches surrounded me, and high above me hung a lamp alit with a single candle. My legs still weak and shaky, but with a grateful and relieved smile on my face, I carefully stepped forward to the only door in the room, and pressed down the handle.
So relieved to once again have steady ground beneath my feet, I didn’t think I’d be losing earthly contact so soon again. Therefore, I was struck with surprise when I upon stepping through the murky doorway, fell forward.
It was with a loud splash that I broke the surface of the dark water. Spluttering for air, I struggled to keep myself from being dragged underwater by my now soaked, heavy robes.
Once the water had calmed down, and my feet were steadily tramping water, I looked up to take in my surroundings.
The room was large and cavern-like, but wasn’t quite so dark once my eyes had got accustomed. The whole area was filled with water that moved and rippled slightly with my movements.
There, slightly above water level, in the wall at the other side of the cave, was a door. It was camouflaged, as if simply carved out of the rock wall, but clearly distinguishable from my position down in the cool water. To my surprise, I saw something glinting beside the door “ hanging beside the doorpost was a single, silvery key.
My brow furrowed. It’s too easy, I thought.
Nonetheless, I started swimming across the spacious grotto. I took swift strokes, trying to stay warm in the chilly water. The water was dark, and with a sudden fear for what could be lurking in the depths beneath me, I hesitated, and looked down.
I drew back and attempted to pull up my legs when I saw something glinting at the very bottom of the pool. I relaxed, though, when I noticed that it was yet another silver, shining key.
This would be the right key, I concluded. I would just have to dive down and get it. It wouldn’t be too hard.
It wouldn’t be too hard…
Hesitation struck me once more. This was also too easy. There were no visible creatures in the water; If there were, they would already have attacked me, I tried to reassure myself.
I stayed floating, treading water, while thinking hard. Then, for I reason unknown to me, I slowly lifted my chin upwards.
There, suspended from the cave ceiling high above me, was a third key. It glinted in the soft light of the cavern, as if teasing me. It was the one key I could not reach, and for that exact reason, I believed it to be the right one to open the exit in the wall.
I almost slapped my own forehead when I realised my stupidity. Huffing at myself best I could as I was trying to stay afloat in the deep water, I drew my wand from within my wet robes, and pointed it to the ceiling.
Accio! I thought.
I waited for the key to soar to my outstretched hand, but nothing happened. Confused, I reassumed my wand position towards the silver key, dangling at its thin thread.
“Accio!” I voiced out loud, as I was starting to doubt my non-verbal spells.
Again, nothing happened.
I sighed exasperatedly, still struggling to keep my head above water. Of course this would be part of the magic of the room; that a simple Summoning spell wouldn’t work. I flapped my arms momentarily, causing small waves around me; my legs were getting tired of beating water. If only I weren’t in the water…
Hit with a sudden thought, I once again raised my wand. I then shouted, “Aguamenti!”
A jet of water emitted from the end of my wand, adding to the water in the pool. Elatedly, I felt myself rising higher towards the cavern ceiling. I held my wand steady, allowing it to keep bursting out massive volumes of water, while kicking my aching legs to keep up with the rising water level. I was just about to be dragged under, when I broke the spell.
The water splashed in waves around me, but held a steady level a mere foot from the rock ceiling of the cave. Gasping for air, I looked upwards.
Right before me, hung the desirable key. A tired but victorious smile spread out on my face.
Once I’d closed my fingers around the shiny key and yanked it loose from its thread, I drew a huge breath, and dived.
The door was still recognisable, even thought it was now underwater. With full, determined strokes I beat the water out of my way and advanced on the door. Trying not to think of the lack of air in my lungs, I fumbled with the key in the lock. With a strike of horror, I thought, What if this is the wrong key? I didn’t know any spells to breath underwater, and I didn’t exactly have Gillyweed to use, like Harry once had.
Oh, Harry…
The door gave a satisfying click that was distinguishable in the water, and quickly grabbing hold of the handle positioned below me, I kicked downward with all my might to open the door.
I fell into the next room, surprised that not too much water followed me in. In fact, I was surprised over the fact that I didn’t feel very wet anymore. Looking down, I was slowly starting to understand why.
Several feet below me, was the fiery red top of a young woman’s head. It felt odd, watching the body slowly amble aimlessly this way and that, knowing that the body was my own.
As most people, I had never seen myself from this perspective before. I surveyed the figure of myself rather interestedly, marvelling over the way I walked, the way I flipped my hair nonchalantly out of my face; it felt very surreal.
The reason I did not panic was simply that I knew what was happening; this was one of those out-of-body experiences that Professor Flitwick had brought up in NEWT level Charms class. I could, however, not for the life of me remember the Charm to end one.
I drifted along the ceiling, still gazing down at myself. Maybe I don’t need a Charm after all…I pondered. Gathering as much speed as I could in my floating, weight-less state, I zoomed downwards in the direction of the flaming red head.
Yet, soon I realised that I wasn’t able to go any further. The more I tried, the more resolutely an invisible barrier kept me from the body wandering about down on the ground. Abandoning this attempt, I went back to thinking.
What was that Charm called? I thought desperately. Where is Hermione when I need her…
Something stung inside, even though I did not have a body to feel physical pain with. For with the image of Hermione before me, along came Harry.
“…and what’s the Counter-Charm?” Harry had once asked me.
“The correct Counter-Charm to block an attempted Cheering Charm, is ‘Tristis’. In order to succeed, it is important not to smile,” I had answered, curling up against the beech tree under which Harry and I were sitting.
“Now what’s the fun in that?” he had responded as a playful grin spread on his face.
I had met his sparkling green gaze, trying hard not to smile back. Eventually, I had failed. “Come on, Harry, my NEWT exams start tomorrow. Keep quizzing me.”
“Okay,” he had given in. “So… What is Extraneus Corporis, and when is it useful?”
“Extraneus Corporis is the act of separating the body from the mind,” I had cited, “and can be useful to avoid jinxes and curses that target the mentality of its victim. The spell to extract one’s mind is Corporis Egressus, while the spell to retract it is Corporis… Corporis…” I had searched my mind for the answer, as Harry observed me all the while.
“Re…” he had formed his mouth at me. “Rec…”
“Corporis recolo!” I had exclaimed, and Harry had smiled broadly at me.
Focusing on the present time, I once again looked down at my own body, standing quite still far below me. Concentrating hard, I mentally voiced, “Corporis recolo.”
I landed suddenly as if I’d been smacked on the head, and dazedly reached out and grabbed the nearby wall for support. I swallowed a couple of times until my eyes had regained their focus once more, and my legs were not as wobbly.
Determined to continue onwards, and eventually find my way out, I stepped towards the only door in the room.
I entered a large, circular hall with pillars along the edges and a very high ceiling. The pillars and walls were of white marble, while the floor was of black. There were two doors in the room; one behind me, and one opposite me, across the hall.
An ominous feeling filled me as a gently treaded the marble floor out into the room.
Why is there nothing here?
As I reached the middle of the marble hall, I stopped as something rustled and rattled near the door ahead of me. I chain appeared, fastened to the door, and raced towards me, rattling and shaking against the stone floor, until it came to an abrupt halt in the middle of the hall. There, at the end of the chain, something white and swirly became visible.
I stepped became as the milky smoke began to take shape. Before long, there was nothing swirly or smoky to the creature in front of me; in the centre of the marble hall, stood a living black panther.
The chain was fastened around the panther’s neck, which allowed it to go no further than to the middle of the circular room. Its yellow eyes blazed in my direction, and it started pacing along the black marble floor.
It was peculiar that the guardian of the door was a black panther, as I had in the past seen this creature as my protector. Somehow, I felt that this particular panther didn’t exactly care for my health and wellbeing.
I took a furtive step forward and at once the panther started to advance on me. It reached the end of its chain mere feet away from me, where it continued to growl menacingly.
Definitely not my protector.
A thought struck me, and I reached for my wand. Still holding my gaze on the panther, I raised the wand and articulated, “Expecto Patronum. ”
A wisp of silver vapour issued from the end of my wand, but nothing more. With a confused expression, I focused more intently of the image of my family; my mother, my father, my brothers, Harry…
”EXPECTO PATRONUM!”
When I was again met with nothing but a puff of smoke, my theory was proved.
But why would my protector turn against me?
Deciding not to dawdle any longer, I shot a quick Stunning Spell at the panther. With an astounding grace and smoothness, it leapt to the side and pressed itself flat against the floor, before pouncing at me once again.
I barely had time to step back, and was startled by the speed of the panther. Of course, my Patronus had been able to protect me countless times before thanks to its amazing swiftness and lean flexibility.
Regaining my posture, I sent another non-verbal spell the panther’s way. It jumped high into the air and I took my chance to run around the edge of the room, behind the pillars. In an instant the panther was in front of me again, baring its teeth threateningly; I dodged out on the marble floor, casting another hex over my shoulder. It missed, taking a piece of the wall instead, and the panther sprung upon me from behind.
I fell, sliding across the floor and out of the panther’s limited reach. Panting and rubbing my shoulder and side which had been grazed by the animal’s sharp claws, I stood once more, and turned to face my opponent.
The panther’s slender body lay flat against the floor, ready to attack. The tail moved slowly back and forth, and the eyes glittered fiercely.
When the panther sprung from the ground once more, I took my chance, using the first spell that came to mind.
Lime green, miniature bats sprouted out everywhere in the animal’s face. Snickering at my own brilliant spellwork, I dodged around the poor creature, which lay sprawled hissing and spitting on the marble floor. Flicking my wand I moved the fastening of the chain from the oak door in front of me and secured it to the opposite wall, beside the door I had come through.
Once free of the threat of being attacked by a giant cat, I looked upon the large, oak door with interest.
What can it possibly be that my protector has abandoned me for to guard instead?
Taking a deep breath, I placed one shivering hand on the doorknob.
The door swung shut behind me. The room was murky; I could barely make out each wall of the eight-sided room. Stepping out into the small space and looking around, I realised that each of these walls were identical “ including the one I had come through.
There was no door where I had come from, and no doors anywhere else. There was no way out.
A low rumble shook the very floor I stood on. Apprehension and fear filling up inside me, I spun around, scrutinising the walls once more.
Slowly, the walls came into motion. They were moving inwards, inch by inch, closing in on me in the middle of the confined space.
Desperately I looked upwards, but the ceiling was as black and solid as the floor. I could see no way out.
The walls were moving quicker, I felt; soon I could reach both sides by extending my arms. My breath caught in my throat, my insides clenched, and my mind was racing.
How the hell am I going to get out of here??
I saw no other way. It was dangerous beyond reason, but I had to try.
I had forgotten the three D’s, the only one that filled my thoughts was Desperation.
The walls were mere feet apart; I could barely breathe.
Must… get out…
Without even having time to concentrate, I spun quickly on the spot and Disapparated.
The air was suddenly sucked out of my lungs, and the light out of my eyes.
I didn’t know when, where or what I was. I was momentarily in a weightless limbo, my senses not responding to anything. All I knew was who I was, and what I had wanted all along.
I came to the Department of Mysteries to aid Harry. Others had called me distraught and hopeless after my loss, maybe rightfully so, but nevertheless I felt the need to do something.
While exploring the many rooms and places of the Department of Mysteries, I’d come into contact with Harry in more than one way. It was funny, really, that he had been the one helping me out in most situations.
Harry had left me; he had died. Though, during my venture, I had slowly come to realise that maybe he never left me at all.
Harry didn’t need to be in any physical form, he would still help me through obstacles in life. I am who I am because of him, and that I am proud of. I wouldn’t trade the time I had with Harry for the world.
With a sense of relaxation, I realised that I wasn’t afraid anymore. Whatever was at the end of this suffocating tube of nothingness, I was ready for it.
Because Harry will always be with me, no matter what.
Still searching by Hokey
Chapter Notes: My Gauntlet submission for round 4. Thanks to Ritta/mugglemathdork, for being a wonderful guide!