I know, right now you can’t tell
But stay a while maybe then you’ll see
A different side of me
I lie alone in the dark room, my eyes half open as they survey my surroundings. It is a small, sparse place, but clean… very clean. For once, I am free of the scents of the forest; of the smell of moss and loam and dirt and blood. I feel free, yes… but at the same time, I feel trapped.
How long has it been since I last stepped indoors? I can scarcely remember… one day, so very long ago, I was living happily in the family manor”and the next, I was suffering in the colonies in the woods.
I have been lying here for but a few moments, but already I begin to feel better. My mind is sharper, clearer than it usually is after the full moon. My body still aches, but the pain is little more than a dull, steady throbbing in my joints. After a moment I rise to my feet”albeit rather unsteadily”and look around with renewed interest.
From the corner of my eye, I catch sight of a thick leather-bound book resting on the desk in the corner. I cannot help but gravitate toward it”all my life I have been fascinated with the written language, with literature. I open it eagerly, reverently; I have not so much as touched a book since I moved to the colonies.
But at that moment, I am alerted to the sound of approaching footsteps. The girl”the leper”is coming. I make to close the book, but I am too late.
William took two steps back from the desk as the girl entered through the door. She was still slightly damp from the rainfall, but the long hair obscuring her face could not hide the disapproval in her eyes as she looked quickly from William to the book, and back to Will again.
While the girl’s face was expressionless, William sensed that she was angry. He knew he should apologise, should explain his actions, but his pride would not let him. Instead, Will simply squared his shoulders and glared resolutely at Clara, daring her to say something. She did not.
After several moments of silent eye contact, Clara spoke in a would-be-normal voice. “I’ve gone to see the bishop,” she said with politeness that was a little bit strained. Walking over to her desk, she lifted the leather bound book and caressed its spine tenderly. “He”well, let’s just say he didn’t want to come see you.”
Will noticed the reverent manner with which she treated the book. His haughtiness vanished for but a moment before he was back to his brisk self. “Good. I don’t need your precious clergy to see me, in any case. I don’t even know why I agreed to come here with you. I can take care of myself.”
Clara’s back was still turned as he said this, but Will could see the way her shoulders stiffened at his words. It was almost fun, baiting her like this. She got angry, yes, but she did nothing about it. He smirked.
“What’s that you’ve got there?” Will nodded toward the book in her hands. “Looks thick.”
The girl turned, and her eyes locked with Will’s once more. Her hazel eyes calculating, she paused a moment before giving her reply. “This,” she said slowly, “is my diary.”
Immediately Will understood her anger at seeing him looking at it. A diary contained thoughts, and thoughts were a private thing. He paused a moment, wavering between choices: he could apologize, or he could not. Swallowing his pride, he opted for the former. “Sorry.”
“No matter.” Placing the book back upon the table, Clara walked toward her small wooden closet and withdrew a tunic much too large to be hers. “You can look at it, if you’d like.”
For a moment, Will thought she was being sarcastic; but her face, though disfigured by scars, was innocent enough, and her voice was sincere. Feeling somewhat apprehensive without knowing why, William stepped forward two paces and stopped with his hands resting upon its cover. He paused for a moment, then opened to the first page.
It was blank.
As was the next.
And the next.
Clara was still standing by the closet with the tunic in her arms, following Will’s every move. He turned to look at her, an unspoken question in his eyes.
“I can’t write,” she said quietly.
For a moment”just a moment”Will felt a surge of contempt. Of course this girl, this lowly Muggle leper, would be just as coarse and uneducated as she appeared. This feeling was overcome almost instantly, though, by something else.
Pity.
Will had grown up with a quill in his hand and a book on his lap, grown up in a manner in which the written word left as big an impact as magic itself. Yet ever since he had been bitten, he too had been forced to live a life without it. It wasn’t pity, he realized. It was empathy.
For a moment Will did not know what to say. Fortunately, he was saved the necessity of saying anything by Clara herself.
“You’re feeling better now, I presume?”
The brisk transition back to the matter at hand startled Will, but he seized it gratefully. “Yes, thank you.” He didn’t know what had compelled this sudden politeness in him.
There was a small smile on the girl’s face. “Well, you look dreadful.”
“I look dreadful?” Bristling, Will traced his eyes insultingly up at her disfigured visage.
It was hard to tell, but Will thought he could see her redden. At the very least, he saw a muscle in her jaw twitch and her entire body tauten as the cruel words hit home.
“You know,” said Clara, her voice small but strong, “there’s no need for you to be”” She broke off suddenly as if remembering her place. “Well, I’m just trying to help.”
“I already told you.” Will’s voice was brittle and hard. “I don’t need help.”
Suddenly, unexpectedly, the girl flared up in anger. “Fine.” She did not shout, but the fury in her voice was almost tangible as she glared at the young man across from her. “Fine. Seeing as you don’t need any help, I think it’s time for you to leave.”
Without a word, William drew himself up and turned to leave the room. The nerve of the girl, dismissing him like some common cur or mongrel. As if he needed her.
William was almost out the door when Clara’s soft voice halted him. “Wait.” Taking two steps forward, she pressed the tunic she was holding into Will’s arms. She looked more sad than angry now; her eyes were tender as her fingers brushed against the soft linen of the shirt. “This belonged to my… to someone I knew before I was sent to the colony. You need it more than I do.”
Will shook loose the folds of the fabric to reveal the tunic, slightly too large for him, but thicker and warmer by far than his own tattered garments. “Who gave it to you?” he asked.
Clara turned her eyes to the ground. “Henry,” she murmured. “He… he was my fiancé.”
I know, right now you can’t tell
But stay a while and maybe then you’ll see
A different side of me
It was a moment before Will could respond. “Thank you,” he said sincerely, suddenly overcome by the gesture. Ashamed of himself, unable to look the girl in the eyes, he started for the door once more.
William paused at the threshold, then turned once more to face the girl who had tried so hard to help him for no reason at all. “You know,” he said, momentarily unsure of himself, “if you’d like, I may be able to teach you some reading and writing sometime.”
It was almost worth it just to see the way her eyes widened and her mouth formed a small ‘o’. “I”I’d like that,” Clara replied, although she looked slightly wary of the prospect. “I’d like that very much.”
“Look for me around this time next month.” With that, Will strode out of the door, through the town, past the Meadow, and into the Forest from whence he came. He did not look back, did not turn around again”not until he was deep inside the woods and far away from the quiet leper girl, at which point he spun in a tight circle and disappeared with a crack.