May your soul rest forever in pieces, dear Vold.
Just the good die young, which is why you died so old
I can't say there's any chance that you'll be missed
I'll admit if you hadn't died, I would be... irritated.
With your translucent skin so like parmesan cheese
And your eyes quite as red as mine with allergies,
With your spidery hands and your shiny bald head,
You are one ugly dude lying there cold and dead.
Your nose? It's not there, and your lips don't exist
But then, that's no problem; you'll never be kissed.
You look almost peaceful, just like you're asleep
Except the scene's sans Mr. Snooks, your stuffed sheep.
When you died, did your life fly past like a bad dream?
Was it like a slide-show of your horrid regime?
Looking back, did you ever feel any remorse
Other than that drunk night with the lampshade and horse?
You killed so many people, wrecked so many lives
Plus your cooking stinks, man-- who would trust you with knives?
You've been plotting and scheming for so very long
Even six-sevenths of your soul are gone.
Life would give you an inch, and you'd snatch a mile
But I have to admit that you always had style.
You went out with a bang-- that's meant literally
Last words were the Death Curse; hey, it beats "Look at me."
Life won't be the same without you threat'ning its end.
We were such enemies, you were almost a friend.
You've been tearing apart our world so many years
That by now, you've got less fans than George has got ears.
But somehow, you've wormed your way into my heart
And it now feels as charred as a flaming pop-tart.
I can't say that anyone suffers from grief
But you always were my source of comic relief.
The Dark Lord's Eulogy: An Odious Ode by Schmerg_The_Impaler
Chapter Notes: There were so many sad deaths in Deathly Hallows, including those of three of my favourite characters. So what did I do? Me being Schmergo, and Schmergo being insane, I wrote a poem about the antagonist RESPONSIBLE for those horrific deaths! What's up with that? But here it is anyway. I don't own Voldemort, but Harry Potter does PWN him.
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