1. Dudley Demented (Hannibal)
HARRY:
Hey Du-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-udley, you're a nitwit, you're a ni-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-itwit!
I wouldn't care if you dropped dead!
DUDLEY:
Yeah, Harry, guess what, you are wrong!
Prepare for humiliation!
At the end of this little song
You'll go through disintegration!
HARRY:
Where did you learn those big words?
Another kid you beat up?
From your mouth, it sounds absurd…
What's that sound? Stay low to the ground!
DEMENTORS:
Hi, how are y'all? Now we'll suck your soul out
Through your mouth like tasty ramen noodles
Let's get that one, he looks so big and dumb
WHAT THE!? Who said, "EXPECTO PATRONUM?"
HARRY:
Well, that was a great waste of time
And Dudley thinks I did it.
And now, well, I'm betting that I'm
Going to really get it!
2. Believe In Me (Think of Me)
Harry is before the Wizengamot pleading his case.
HARRY:
Believe in me,
Believe me, I'm honest
Do you think I'd lie?
Believe in me,
It was self defense
I was about to die!
If you found
Dementors on your street
Which is what happened then to me,
You would drive them off as well, right?
Please believe in me!
Music break. We switch to Harry at Hogwarts
HARRY:
I never wanted
Much from you, you know
But I want all of you to see
That Lord Voldemort has come back,
Please believe in me.
I survived, you must know what I've seen!
Don't think about the deaths that might have been.
Believe in me
It's true, I'm not faking
What's wrong, are you blind?
He killed Cedric, how can you not see it?
Get it in your mind!
Recall the day, look back on your fourth year
When, from the stands, what did you see
But me, with Cedric's dead body!
Please believe in me!
In the Great Hall, Umbridge stands up to make a speech.
HARRY:
Can that be, can that be Umbridge?
Oh no, oh no!
What a shame, she really is a git.
I saw her at the Ministry.
She was all for my expulsion-
She remembers me.
Memories fade, thoughts of the summer fade
But these will always stay with me.
Memories of Voldemort, so
Just believe…
I-i-i-i-i-i-in! I-i-i-i-i-i-in! I-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-in,
IIIIIIIINNNNNNNNN MEEEEE!
3. Horror of Hogwarts (Angel of Music)
UMBRIDGE:
Mwaheee, mwahaaa,
Mwahaaahoho!
RON:
Where in the world has she been hiding?
Really, she's perverted.
I only wish someone would kill her.
Who is this new teacher?
HERMIONE:
Umbridge, she spoke of some changes
That she would make around here.
Throughout the school, I can sense them,
And they cause me fear!
HARRY:
There in her class, I felt her staring
She hates me, why, it's clear.
Somehow I know she's up to something.
She's the worst of the gits here.
By the way, I have been dreaming
Dreaming of halls I walk through
Ending in doors that won't open.
RON:
Where?
HARRY:
I have no clue!
RON:
Horror of Hogwarts, here comes Umbridge!
HERMIONE:
Forcing on us her lies!
(HARRY:
Why did she come here, this)
TRIO:
Horror of Hogwarts, our worst teacher!
RON:
How long 'till some kid dies?
HARRY:
She's evil, holy cow!
HERMIONE:
Your hands, they bleed…
Your face, you're pale, it's white
HARRY:
Don't worry… I'm not frightened…
4. The Dreams (The Mirror/Phantom of the Opera)
This song covers several of Harry's more disturbing dreams
VOLDEMORT:
This foolish boy,
I live within him
He feels my pain, my joy
Ignorant fools,
His friends don't realize
How I control this boy.
HARRY:
What is this? I feel weak, I'm tired.
Yet I just woke, what's wrong?
I heard somebody speak, I know it
But everyone here's sleeping.
VOLDEMORT:
Go back to sleep, and I'll show you.
Here where Rookwood and I hide.
You'll see my face in the mirror
When you look inside!
HARRY:
What's wrong, is this me, Voldemort's face?
No… it's just me… Harry…
Horror at Hogwarts, not just Umbridge,
Part of it is in me.
VOLDEMORT:
I weave the dreams that you follow
You have the mind that I swallow…
I weave the dreams that you follow
You have the mind that I swallow…
HARRY:
In sleep, it rose in me
In dreams, it came
There's something dark in me
I can't explain.
And do I dream again?
For now I find
The presence of Lord Voldemort is there
Inside my mind.
VOLDEMORT:
Come once again with me,
No need to fret,
My influence on you
Grows stronger yet.
You say that you loathe me?
Don't be unkind.
You only loathe yourself, since I am here,
Inside your mind.
HARRY:
I still have my own face
But now I fear,
I'm not the only person
VOLDEMORT:
Inside here!
HARRY:
My body
VOLDEMORT:
And my will!
BOTH:
In one combined.
The presence of Lord Voldemort is here
VOLDEMORT:
Inside your mind!
And no one at your school
Will ever see
That hero and Dark Lord
HARRY:
Are both… just me?
VOLDEMORT:
Now down the path again
Don't glance behind.
No time for looking back when Voldemort's
Ensnared your mind.
5 The Person I Will Bite (Music of the Night)
Harry is having his biting dream
HARRY:
Senses sharpen
Heightens each sensation
Something stirs - it's not imagination.
Silently the senses abandon their defenses…
Slowly, gently, crawling toward the man there
Sense him, smell him, taste his scent on the air.
His face is turned away, he won't know that he’s my prey,
Suddenly my veins are hard and cold with spite
While edging toward the person I will bite.
VOLDEMORT:
Close your eyes and surrender to your darkest dreams
Leave yourself back in bed where you still sleep.
Lapse into dreams while my dark wishes creep
To your mind, where my thoughts stir in the deep.
HARRY:
Softly, swiftly, feel my fangs caress you.
Light and quick....
VOLDEMORT:
Man, it's fun to possess you!
I'm here in your mind!
HARRY:
As my sleek coils unwind
And I rise to pierce your side here in the night.
I'm going to kill the person who I bite.
VOLDEMORT:
I took you on this journey to this strange new world
But you'll blame yourself, hide away from friends.
When we work this way, the fun never ends!
HARRY:
Poised to strike as I rise, my body bends.
Biting, lunging, piercing with elation
I can't help but savor this sensation.
VOLDEMORT:
Now, let the dream end
Make the darker side your friend
And I'll slowly take you over, bit-by-bit.
HARRY:
I KNOW THIS MAN, THE PERSON THAT I BIT!
6. I Remember (I Remember/Stranger Than You Dreamt It)
HARRY:
I remember there was this
Place I'd never been but I'd seen before.
There was darkness all around
And a man I knew was lying on the floor.
Beside the man, there was a snake…
Why did I strike in the shadows?
What made me do this, I ask?
WHAT IS THIS? How could I have gone to London!
Am I some demon, what is this I feel inside me?
CURSE IT! Am I a monster, a killer?
I was a viper, now I know I can never be free.
What is this?
Curse it!
Stranger than I dreamt it,
Can my friends still bear to look at
Or still think of me?
This teenaged boy who has saved the world,
But secretly, works for the dark side,
Secretly… secretly… But I know…
I must stay away
I can't let my friends be in danger of this monster
This repulsive creature…who seems a boy,
But secretly, dreams of murder.
Secretly, secretly… Oh, I know
I must not return.
If I'm being possessed, I cannot go to school again.
7. Harry, You're Just Being Dumb (Magical Lasso)
HARRY:
As white as paper is his skin
A great black hole serves as the nose that never grew
And yet, repulsive as he is,
Lord Voldemort remains a part of me, too…
GINNY:
You don't know of what you speak.
You have never been possessed, but I was once.
Harry, you're just being dumb.
Don't stay hidden from us, don't be a dunce!
8.Educational Decrees (Notes)
Harry, Ron, and Hermione read the Educational Decrees on the wall.
HARRY:
Umbridge put these up overnight!
RON:
She should be the next one you bite!
HERMIONE:
Stop it, Ron! But all these papers say
That teams are disbanded as of today.
Bad news on the Hogwarts scene
DRACO (running by):
Good news for silver and green!
Our team's reformed, so I've been told.
'Cause my dad gave Fudge some gold!
HARRY:
What a way to run a school, now!
She's terrible, and she's corrupt!
The whole school feels akin!
RON:
'Cept for Slytherin.
Well, this stinks!
To heck with Snape and Lockhart
If the school thought smart
They would get Umbridge locked up!
HARRY:
Horrible! How these get put up!
This is horrible!
HERMIONE:
Harry, please shut up.
It's atrocity, and we know that's true.
But if you complain, she'll be cruel to you.
HARRY (sarcastically) :
Gee, Hermione, that would be
Weird, since she's so nice to me.
RON (reading):
"Dear students, if you had a club, well
Guess what? Now you don't anymore!
Like your society?
Then come and see me.
Otherwise, the kids who are still meeting
Will be beating
A path home out the front door."
HERMIONE (reading):
"Dear teachers, just a brief reminder
You cannot give your students aid
On a subject that's not
What you've always taught
You'll get sacked. No one likes to be fired
So it’s desired
For this rule to be obeyed."
TRIO:
Who would have the gall to post this?
Someone who is quite insane!
HERMIONE:
Aka, old Umbridge
RON:
This is all garbage!
TRIO:
What a deal!
HARRY:
She knows about the D.A.!
HERMIONE:
Can't you see they're undiscovered
'Cause I smothered the list of names
So don't blame me, now what scares me,
Is that, Harry, she knows of your Occlumency
Which could have a great expense, she has such a twisted brain!
Students gradually learn the news. General chaos ensues..
TRIO:
Far too many rules for my taste.
Curse educational decrees!
All that she's done this year is to post things here…
UMBRIDGE:
What's the matter?
TRIO:
Oh… nothing… professor…
9. Ronald Weasley (Prima Donna)
The Gryffindors are about to play a game of Quidditch
RON:
Oh great, it's Malfoy.
HARRY:
I see him, too.
RON:
That's it, I'm going inside now, toodle-loo.
HARRY:
Ron, don't be dumb, the team needs you!
SLYTHERINS:
Ronald Weasley, you cannot save a thing!
You drop the ball
Can't save at all
We adore you
Thanks to you, your team will lose every game!
Your fellow Gryffindors abhor you.
Ronald Weasley, you were born in a bin.
Stink up the pitch
With your Quidditch
As we sing!
You cannot block even one measly ring,
Oh, Ronald Weasley's our king!
10. Banned From Now On (Poor Fool, He Makes Me Laugh!)
After the Quidditch match.
DRACO:
Your pal, Weasley is a total loser, Potter, right? His father is a mad old crock, His family’s a laughingstock! And yet, I think you like their stink.
CROWD:
Fight! Fight! Fight!
DRACO:
The way their hovel smells like Muggles.
CROWD:
Fight! Fight! Fight!
Harry and George attack Malfoy. The scene switches to Umbridge's office.
HARRY:
Professor, it was only self-defense!
TWINS:
Malfoy knows sticking in his nose has an expense!
UMBRIDGE:
You're both banned from now on, mwahahahaha!
Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Next time Gryffindor plays you both will be gone.
You're both kicked off the team, mwahahahaha!
Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
I love this job, I get to be extremely mean.
HARRY:
But Professor, we…
UMBRIDGE:
I'd advise you to be silent, little toad.
GEORGE:
(Muttering) A toad? It's you who looks like a toad!
UMBRIDGE:
You're both banned from now… WHAT WAS THAT?!
11. Harry and Cho (All I Ask Of You)
HARRY:
Please don't talk of Cedric
Forget that day last year.
I'm here, don't let it upset you
Nobody's going to get you.
Let me help you through this
I'll wipe away your tears.
I'm here, with you, beside you
I know it terrified you.
CHO:
Harry, oh, this is a bittersweet thing
Bringing me back to last summertime.
He said he'd be with me now and always
Now he's gone, and you said the same, too.
Can I believe in you?
HARRY:
Let me be your shelter
Light me be your light.
You're safe, I'm here to lead you
You need me and I need you.
CHO:
All I want is your strength
To save me from the night
Just you, within reach of me
To help me and to teach me.
HARRY:
Then say you'll share with me your love, your lifetime
Let me lead you from your mourning, too
Say you need me with you here, beside you.
Anything you want or need I'll do
Love me, that's all I ask of you.
CHO:
Say you'll share with me your comfort, guidance
Help me, please, and I will stay with you.
BOTH:
Share each day with me, each night, each morning.
CHO:
Just like Cedric…
HARRY:
Not again! Love me now, don't think back to then!
CHO:
I must go, then. Meet dear Hermione.
Don't wait for me.
HARRY:
Come back! What’s with you?
I gave you my heart and I gave you everything.
And now, how you repay me?
You run, you cast away me.
I know you loved Cedric
And that makes my heart sting…
Oh… Cho…
Stay tuned for the songs from Act Two!
The Phoenix of the Order: A Potterized Phantom of the Opera Soundtrack! by Schmerg_The_Impaler
Chapter Notes: I'm posting the songs from Act One (this chapter) first, and adding Act Two songs later. JK Rowling is responsible for Harry Potter and The Order of the Phoenix, and Andrew Lloyd Webber is responsible for Phantom of the Opera musical and original lyrics, so I don't really own anything. The first song is pretty bad, but keep reading... it's kind of supposed to be cheesy. Enjoy!