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Dursleys, Meet The Wizarding World by Ghoul In Pajamas

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Chapter Notes: Again, so sorry about how long this update took! Also sorry if you received about 8,000 emails a day for the last couple weeks saying that it was updated. Mugglenet was having some technical issues and the computer wouldn't let them validate the chapter, but it was still sending notices to everyone. Weird, but the chapter is here now! I hope you enjoy it!


On the night he learned he was a wizard, Dudley’s sleep was riddled with dreams of magic. He dreamt that he was marching through the halls of Smeltings, bullying his usual victims with a flick of the wrist rather than the usual headlock. Later, he dreamt of Harry yelling at him, –You’re not a wizard!” while he battled Voldemort.

His last dream before he woke up was of his father, his purple face bloated and sweating, as he shouted incessantly. –You can’t be a wizard! Not my son!”

Then his mum appeared in the dream, pleading, –but he is your son! He’s our Duddykins!”

As Petunia pleaded, Vernon’s body slowly disappeared as his head swelled in size; soon, he was nothing more than an enormous floating face. –This is all your fault!” the big purple blob screamed at Petunia. –He got this from your freak family!”

–He’s our son!” Petunia sobbed.

–He’s YOUR son!” screamed the blob.

Dudley awoke so suddenly from the dream that he nearly rolled out of the tiny cot. Dean was snoring on the other side of the dark room. Dudley could see a small stream of red-orange light peeking through the curtains. He felt exhausted, but the dream had shaken him too much to fall back asleep.

With a sudden urgency, Dudley leapt out of the cot and rushed out of the room and down the steps. He hoped no one had told his dad the news yet. He didn’t know how he could keep it from him, but he couldn’t stand the idea of him finding out. Dudley peered into the dining room and saw his mother and father eating breakfast silently.

–Morning, mum. Morning, dad,” he said, entering the room nervously.

–Morning, Duddy,” said Petunia, smiling warmly.

Vernon grunted through a mouthful of eggs.

Dudley looked to Petunia and raised his eyebrows questioningly. She shook her head discreetly.

A loud crash from the kitchen surprised Dudley, and he realized he needed to tell everyone else if he wanted to keep the secret from his dad.

–Ruddy idiots,” Vernon grumbled gruffly. Someone must have returned his voice to normal; Vernon sounded like a high-pitched schoolgirl the last time Dudley heard him talk.

Dudley found Mrs. Longbottom and Dedalus in the kitchen. Mrs. Longbottom was making a pot of tea as Dedalus fumbled to pick up pots and pans from the floor.

–Good morning, Dudley,” said Mrs. Longbottom. –I hear you had a little lesson last night.”

–Er, yeah, I did. Good morning,” he said quickly. –Do you think you could do me a favor?”

–What is it?”

–Well, I was wondering, er, hoping,” Dudley stuttered. –See I’m really excited, but things are already really tense around here and I just want to be careful not to cause any more problems, and-”

–You don’t want your father to know that you’re a wizard,” interrupted Mrs. Longbottom. This was a statement, not a question, but Dudley nodded anyway.

–You should never let another person make you feel ashamed of who you are,” said Mrs. Longbottom. –He may be your father but what you have is a gift. You should be proud.”

–I know and I’m happy about it,” said Dudley, feeling sorry for even asking them to keep the secret. –My dad is already so unbearable. I don’t want to give him a reason to act even worse. Maybe if we can just keep it a secret until we’re back to our normal life in Little Whinging, he would handle it better.”

–You do realize, Dudley, that your life will never go back to normal,” said Dedalus, in a serious tone unfamiliar to Dudley.

This stumped Dudley for a moment. In all the excitement of learning that he was a wizard, he had only thought of all the cool things he could do with magic. Until now, he hadn’t considered the things he now wouldn’t do. He wouldn’t fit in in Little Whinging anymore, or with his old friends. It had been hard enough to keep magic a secret from them when Harry was at Hogwarts, but he did so because he was embarrassed. But he couldn’t keep such a big secret and still be good friends with them.

He realized he had no idea how he would fit into the Wizarding World either. He had never been the best student even in Muggle schools; how could he make it in a world where he had never even taken a single class relevant to his new life.

–I guess not,” he said absently, pulling himself from his thoughts when he realized Dedalus and Mrs. Longbottom were still waiting for his response. –But let’s just not put my dad even further over the edge. We all have to be around him, after all.”

–It’s your choice, Dudley,” said Mrs. Longbottom. –But I’m not treating him like a blubbering child like you lot. He’s an adult and as long as he is in my house, I expect him to act like one.”

–Thank you,” said Dudley. He was about to ask where Hestia was when she threw the kitchen door open and began filling her breakfast plate rather aggressively.

–So no luck with the Snatcher?”

–No, he won’t say anything,” she grumbled. –Certainly not without any inspiration.”

Dedalus looked at her crossly.

–I doubt there’s much to learn from him,” said Mrs. Longbottom. –He doesn’t have a Dark Mark; he’s just in it for the money.”

–Wouldn’t you like to know how he found your house?”

–Of course I would, but not at the expense of losing my head,” answered Mrs. Longbottom coolly. –I’ve already sent an Owl to the Order requesting someone to pick him up.”

Hestia did not seem happy, but she remained silent nonetheless.

–Well I think we have much more exciting business than worrying over the Snatcher,” said Dedalus, in an obvious attempt to change the conversation. –Dudley here will be taking his lessons.”

–Yes, and in a more organized fashion than last night,” said Hestia. –I think we overwhelmed him a bit last night.”

–No, it wasn’t so bad. I was-” Dudley started, but stopped midsentence as his dad stomped into the room.

–You what?” asked Hestia, ignoring Vernon’s entrance completely.

–I-I,” Dudley stuttered. He hadn’t yet told Hestia not to say anything to Vernon. He glanced nervously at his father, who was spooning sausages onto his second plate of eggs.

Hestia caught the direction of Dudley’s gaze and said, without the slightest attempt at subtlety, –Oh, I understand.” She tilted her head slightly for a moment, then said, –It is probably for the best. For now, anyway.”

Dudley’s eyes were bugging out of his head at Hestia’s careless attitude, but Vernon was too busy ladling sausage grease over his toast to notice.

Hestia rolled her eyes. –Is Dean awake yet? We have a busy day.”

Mrs. Longbottom flicked her wand lightly toward the ceiling and said, –he’ll be down in a minute.”

Vernon had already disappeared upstairs when Dudley followed Mrs. Longbottom, Hestia, Dedalus, and Dean into the sitting room half an hour later. Having agreed that several people attempting to teach Dudley the same lesson was not effective, they decided to divide the lessons between them.

Dean started by listing all the classes at Hogwarts. Dudley looked hungrily at the list, curious about what each of these classes would have been like in a school. Defense Against the Dark Arts stood out to him most, as he imagined himself fighting Death Eaters and dementors. Other names, such as Divination and Ancient Runes, were completely foreign to him.

–I think we need to cross all of these classes off but Defense Against the Dark Arts,” suggested Hestia. –That’s what he needs to learn now.”

–Cross off most of the skills?” asked Dedalus, surprised. –But some of the skills learned in other classes are necessary in advanced Defense.”

–He’ll have plenty of time to learn everything later. Right now, we just need to teach a few skills that can keep him alive, in case there is some emergency.”

–But he needs some basic understanding of the other classes,” said Dean. –Like Charms, if you don’t learn some of the basics it will make other things harder later on.”

–I find transfiguration highly useful in a fight,” suggested Mrs. Longbottom.

Hestia sighed, realizing that she would be out-voted. –Which classes can we get rid of?”

–I think we can all agree to cross Herbology off the list,” suggested Dedalus. –I doubt he’ll be fighting off any venomous tentacula in the near future.”

–Get rid of Ancient Runes.”

–He definitely doesn’t need Muggle Studies.”

And so it went until they had narrowed the lessons down to only three classes: Charms, Transfiguration, and Defense Against the Dark Arts. Dean would be teaching Charms, while Dedalus taught Transfiguration. Hestia would teach Defense Against the Dark Arts, helped by Mrs. Longbottom.

–That means it’s my turn,” said Dean, once they had settled on the teaching assignments. –He needs to master Wingardium Leviosa! before we start something else.”

–I agree,” said Hestia. –I’d like to plan my lessons before I begin, anyway.”

–Let’s go back into the dining room,” suggested Dean. –I think we left the feather in there.”

Dean reviewed the theory behind the levitation charm again, then let Dudley try to magically raise the feather. He tried over and over again-swish and flick, swish and flick-listening to Dean’s advice.

Dudley was glad to be learning from Dean first. It was easier to focus with only one person giving instructions, and he felt less pressure working with someone his own age. After an hour, the feather had done nothing but twitch slightly. Though Dean had gotten very excited at this, Dudley was unsure whether it had been due to magic or a slight draft.

–Why don’t we take a break and make some tea,” Dean suggested.

–Yeah,” said Dudley, standing up. –I didn’t realize it would be so hard. You all make it look so easy.”

–Trust me, mate, I know,” Dean laughed, as they walked into the kitchen. –When I found out I was a Wizard, I thought I’d get my wand and magically make the West Ham Football team the next day. It doesn’t work that way, but you’ll get there.”

Dudley laughed. –I just want to get this spell, just to prove to myself I can do something.”

–At least you haven’t set it on fire,” said Dean, laughing. Dudley raised an eyebrow. –My best friend, Seamus, set his feather on fire when we were first years. Someone had to put it out with their hat,” he said, laughing even harder at the old memory. –Seamus did that a lot, come to think of it.”

They quickly forgot about tea; Dean was too busy telling Dudley about all the things Seamus had blown up. Fifteen minutes later, they walked back to the dining room in a much lighter room.

–Swish and flick,” Dudley whispered to himself as he began the charm once again. –Wingardium Leviosa!” This time, the feather definitely twitched: it was not a draft. Dudley tried again, and again, and after several more tries, the feather seemed to float several centimeters above the table for a few seconds before drifting back down again.

–Yeah! Do it again!” encouraged Dean.

–Wingardium Leviosa!”

The feather floated up again, this time going slightly higher and staying up slightly longer. Dudley raised the feather in the air over and over again, until he could keep it in the air as long as he wanted and had even learned how to steer it around.

Twenty minutes later, Dudley and Dean peered around the corner of the sitting room door as Dudley directed a floating feather to land on Dedalus’ top hat.

Hestia saw it first and began laughing. Dedalus turned around quickly and knocked off his top hat, though the feather still floated above him.

–You did it!” he exclaimed, looking up at the feather bouncing above his bald head.

–You did it with style, too” said Mrs. Longbottom approvingly.

–I guess that means it’s my turn for a lesson,” said Hestia, unrolling a piece of parchment that was beside her on the couch. –I have it all planned.”

–Give the boy a break at least,” said Dedalus as he replaced the top hat onto his head.

–No, I’m ready now!” exclaimed Dudley eagerly. The rush of performing magic for the first time made him want to keep going.

–Let’s get down to business then,” said Hestia, standing and following Dudley back to the dining room. She sat across from Dudley and waited for him to get settled, looking very serious.

–If you were an ordinary wizard starting your education at Hogwarts, Defense Against the Dark Arts would be one of many classes,” she began, sounding as though she had rehearsed this speech. –However, under the strange circumstances, and given the current climate in the Wizarding World, learning to defend yourself will be the most important thing for you to learn and master.”

Dudley shifted in his chair, trying not to look as nervous as he suddenly felt.

–Though a Hogwarts DADA class would discuss all kinds of dark magic, including dark creatures and dangerous beasts, I am going to focus on what you need to know if you happen upon some Death Eaters or snatchers. The first spell you will be learning is the Knockback Jinx. It’s exactly as it sounds; the jinx will knock back the person or object you direct it at. While this spell won’t stop or disarm your attacker, it will slow them down and possibly give you a chance to escape.”

Dudley listened raptly as Hestia explained the spell to him. It sounded much more complicated than the Levitation Charm, but he was excited to learn something that could help him defend himself.

–But theory only goes so far,” said Hestia, standing. –You need to see it done. Let’s go outside.”

–Outside?” asked Dudley. –Are we allowed outside?”

–Yes, the magical enchantments start a little ways out from the house. We just can’t go too far,” said Hestia, then, quietly and almost to herself, –I wonder if Dean will let me jinx him.”

Dudley followed her as she marched purposefully into the hallway, calling –Hey Dean!”

Surprisingly, Dean agreed, after Hestia promised she wouldn’t perform a full-strength Knockback jinx.

–I can’t believe you’re letting her jinx you,” said Dudley, as he and Dean walked outside. –Won’t it hurt?”

–No, it won’t be so bad,” he said casually. –We used to jinx and disarm each other all the time in the D.A.”

–The D.A? Was that a class?” asked Dudley, who didn’t remember it from Dean’s list that morning.

–No. Well, kind of,” said Dean. –Our fifth year, we had the worst Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. The Ministry swore You-Know-Who wasn’t back and thought Dumbledore was training an army and they kept passing educational decrees so we had to secretly-” Dean stopped, catching Dudley’s confused expression. –Well, it’s a long story, but we weren’t learning anything from her, so Harry formed a club and taught us. He was a better teacher than most of our other DADA teachers were, actually. He’s the one who taught me to Stun and Disarm and even cast a Patronus.”

–Wow,” said Dudley, once again awed at a new side of Harry he’d never known.

Hestia appeared on the porch, levitating a dozen pillows before her. She set them down and said –Engorgio!” to enlarge the pillows to six times their original size.

–Come stand beside me,” she said to Dudley, while Dean stood in front of the oversized pillows.

–Watch me carefully, Dudley,” Hestia ordered. –Ready, Dean?” He nodded, and Hestia drew her wand, flicked it at Dean, and said, –Flipendo!”

Dean’s body was flung backward, as though he’d been punched hard in the chest, and landed heavily in the pile of pillows.

–Whoa,” said Dudley, thinking briefly of his bullying dream. –Is Dean okay?”

–He’s fine,” said Hestia dismissively.

Dean crawled out from the mass of pillows and stood, rubbing his chest gingerly. –You said you’d perform it at half-strength!” he called to Hestia.

–That was half-strength!” she called back, then turned back to Dudley. –Okay, now it’s your turn. You paid attention, didn’t you?”

–Er, yeah, I paid attention,” said Dudley uncertainly, feeling uncomfortable about hitting Dean with a spell.

–Good,” said Hestia. –Of course you won’t be starting with Dean. It’ll take a bit of practice before you’re ready to jinx a person.” She walked over to the pillows and returned one of them to its original size, then brought it to Dudley. –You’ll practice on this first.”

Dudley nodded, focused intently on the pillow in front of him, and raised his wand in preparation to perform his second spell.

Chapter Endnotes:
Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think! Don't worry, the next chapter will be along shortly. It's already written and I'm just in the editing stages now!

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