Unbroken Promises
"I'm sorry."
"I'm not interested."
"I'm sorry!"
"Save your breath."
It was night-time. Lily, who was wearing a dressing-gown, stood with her arms folded in front of the portrait of the Fat Lady, at the entrance to the Gryffindor Tower.
"I only came out because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here."
"I was. I would have done. I never meant to call you Mudblood, it just-"
"Slipped out?" There was no pity in Lily's voice. "It's too late, I've made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Death Eater friends – you see, you don't even deny it! You don't even deny that's what you're all aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?"
Severus opened his mouth, but closed it without speaking.
"I can't pretend any more. You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine."
"No – listen, I didn't mean – "
" – to call me Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?"
The boy struggled for a minute and finally blurted out.
"Because you are different."
Whatever Lily was expecting to hear, this was not it. Her eyes opened wide in shock at the admission, and Severus took advantage of the momentary silence.
"Lily, I swear I will do anything you say. I will never utter that word again. I will never speak to Mulciber, or Avery, or any Slytherin ever again. I will even apologise to Potter, and even Black, for what happened. I will go to Dumbledore right now and tell him what the whole lot of Slytherins get up to. Just please, please…"
He did not care what he said, what promises he gave and what they would lead him to do. Everything had happened so suddenly, so unexpectedly, that he never got a chance to do that which he promised himself. Barely a week passed after he came back from his bizarre journey – and then everything shattered. Was it too late? No. He refused to believe that. It was not too late. He would not let it happen. No matter what the price would be.
Lily's eyebrows were travelling further up her forehead as she heard him stumble through his jumbled-up speech. But her expression was not as cold as it had been a moment ago.
"And I promise to never, ever hex anyone again, or even speak badly of Potter and the others to anyone... If there is anything else I should do and forgot to name here, just let me know. Please, Lily. I would do anything for you."
Severus was not even bothering to hide the desperation in his voice, and that was what seemed to affect Lily the most, hearing a tone that she had never heard before.
"Anything?" she asked slowly.
"Always," he replied, his face colouring as he realised what he had said and yet not regretting. He had never broken promises before – simply because he always avoided making them. Now, he had made one to himself, and this led to more, promises that seemed impossible, promises that he would never before imagine himself keeping, but now could not imagine himself breaking, either. Because a hint of a soft smile was spreading across Lily's face.
She looked as though she was about to ask more questions, but the intensity of Severus' gaze left no room for arguments.
"A – Are we still friends then?" he asked shakily, after some moments of strange silence, during which Lily seemed to study his face carefully.
Finally, she smiled all out.
"Best friends."