Silence enveloped the large, rectangular dining table that lay in the Potters’ parlor. Around its gleaming wooden surface, on immaculate matching chairs with tie-on green cushions, sat eight highly subdued people. There was no merry chatter “ only the clinking of knives and forks on china, the pattering of raindrops on the roof and windows, and the occasional rumbles of thunder from the storm building outside. Candle flames from the wax sticks that lit the room flickered and swayed in a non-existent breeze. Every now and then a bright flash of lightning would illuminate the room with its unearthly blue glow, throwing faces into sudden relief.
Rose could think of nothing to say. She pushed her peas around her plate, spearing one with a fork. The absence of James and Hugo was even more noticeable around the table. James would have been able to break the ice with a silly joke and his contagious laughter. Hugo would have said something interesting and polite and warm all at the same time and made everyone like each other, in his own quiet way. Compared to them, Rose felt like a useless dolt.
Albus had dragged her downstairs as soon as she’d changed into something suitable (someone had put her pajamas on her) and Rose had been immediately attacked by her parents. They’d been sitting with her ever since she’d gotten sick, they told her through tears and laughs, and it was just like her to wake up the moment they agreed to leave for five seconds to get some tea. Never doing what they wanted her to, when they wanted her to. After her parents, it had been Lily, who, once she’d gotten a hold of Rose, seemed keen on never letting go again. If Hermione hadn’t announced that they were about to have lunch, Rose was almost certain Lily would still have her arms around her. Harry and Ginny had given her hugs and smiles and told her they were so glad that she was okay. Everyone one told her that Severus had been making large batches of the potion for the other young withes and wizards who required them around the world. Harry and Ron had convinced someone in the Ministry to provide enough owls to send vials of the potion to those in extreme need, and brewing instructions for those who had only just contracted the disease. When Severus had found out she was ill, he’d doubled his concocting speed. At this news, Lily had given Rose a sly look. Rose had done her best not to meet her cousin’s gaze, but it had been hard work. She didn’t know if she should feel flattered or embarrassed “ or if she should feel nothing at all. There was no reason to assume that if it had been Lily who’d gotten sick instead of Rose, Severus would not have doubled his speed.
A pea rolled over the edge of Rose’s plate and down onto the carpet that the dining table was resting on. Harry cleared his throat and Albus fidgeted with his glasses. Aside from Rose and Severus, everyone at the table had bloodshot eyes. Harry and Ginny were particularly subdued. The smiles they’d given her when she’d come downstairs had been melancholy too. A small part of Rose wondered if, perhaps, they were wondering somewhere deep inside why she had lived and James had died. Even the remonstration from her heart, saying that they were her family and could never think such things, didn’t do much to push the idea away. It bubbled and boiled away in her mind and she felt the blame in their gazes. Whether it was real or in her head, she didn’t know.
Hermione was shooting Harry and Ginny worried glances every now and then, joined at intervals by Lily. Albus couldn’t seem to get his glasses clean and Ron couldn’t seem to stop looking up at her every few minutes and smiling, as if making sure she was really still there “ alive and well. Rose felt a strong burst of love for her father.
Severus’s presence probably wasn’t helping the atmosphere. Had any of them, Harry, Ron, Hermione or Ginny, ever thought they’d be sharing a table with Professor Snape? The man they had hated so much, for such a long time? Rose knew her parents and aunt and uncle had great respect for Severus, but maybe it was easier to respect a memory rather than the man himself. Existence brought back true feelings, and pushing away years of hate had to be difficult. Making small talk with Snape would have seemed very odd.
The meal was a lengthy ordeal, and no matter how Rose willed the time to pass, it didn’t do so quickly or easily. It seemed a day later that Hermione finally stood up and began stacking the not-so empty plates one on top of the other. It was like they’d all been waiting for a queue. Harry, Ron and Ginny all stood up. Lily and Albus pushed their chairs out. Rose was about to slip out of her spot when Albus threw her a hard look. She sat back down as they dishes were cleared. Snape didn’t bother getting up. His plate was the only clean one. Quickly, the dishes and the people all vanished “ the dishes with loud clinks and clanks, the people with awkward “ho”s and “hum”s.
Rose found herself at the dining table alone, with Severus for company. She had a strong feeling that this had all been arranged “ possibly Severus had told Albus that he wanted to go home and Albus had told everyone else that Severus and Rose needed to work things out. If this was something to do with the “you have to accept it” he’d given her earlier and if he was hoping they’d sort things out now, she would kill him. Slowly and painfully.
But it was Severus who spoke first.
‘I take it Mr. Potter has informed you that I need to return to my own time?’ he asked, his voice softer than usual.
Rose nodded and reached into her robes to pull out the Time Turner. ‘He told me. I can take you back right now.’ Except I don’t want to take you back, she thought. She had to say something “ she had to stop him! If she didn’t, if she simply let him go, she’d never forgive herself. She would regret her decision for the rest of her life. But how would she ask him to stay without making him, in return, ask why she should want him to stay? She had no proper answer to the question. “Because I love you” would probably scare him off.
‘But…’ she said, as she unwound the Time Turner’s long chain from around her neck “ she had doubled it to stop it hanging near her navel. Severus was looking right at her, expressionless as always. Rose swallowed hard and then looked straight into his dark eyes. ‘You don’t have to leave.’
One eyebrow rose slightly and that was it. Nothing more. ‘Don’t I? Where do you propose I go, if I do not leave?’ he asked, almost mockingly.
Rose barreled on, telling herself that she would be thankful for this later on. ‘You don’t have to go anywhere “ you can get a home here and “ and stay. It’s dangerous to go back “ people know you’re supposed to be dead, how will you”’
‘People know I’m supposed to be dead in this time too, Miss Weasley. Going or staying “ it amounts to the same thing.’
‘It doesn’t!’ said Rose, heating up now. ‘And it’s Rose! At least here people know what you’ve done!’
‘And what may that be?’ asked Snape quietly, lip curling.
What was his problem? Why was he such a bloody mystery? He hardly said anything yet still managed to rile Rose in a matter of seconds. ‘About you being a spy,’ Rose said firmly, trying not to clench her teeth. ‘How you were Dumbledore’s man, how you protected Uncle Harry and helped on the Horcrux hunt. How you gave Uncle Harry Dumbledore’s final message, even as you were dying!’ Images illustrating the latter point appeared in Roses mind, and she felt a burst of amazement “ she had actually been there, had seen it all play out.
Snape looked coldly furious. ‘And which person felt they had the right to announce my personal memories to the rest of the world?’ He didn’t wait for a reply. ‘Of course “ who else? Your dear uncle, who probably didn’t think for a second that perhaps I wouldn’t want my life history spread to the masses! Did he enjoy laying out every detail of my existence from beginning to end? Did it please him?’
Rose shook her head, slowly and incredulously. ‘What is wrong with you? Why don’t you want people to know?’ And then something dawned on her and a flash of conversation returned to her: the fight Harry and Snape had been having earlier. She looked at him curiously. ‘Or is it, what don’t you want people to know…’
She remembered watching the silver memories slip from Severus’s eyes, his mouth, his ears, back in the Shrieking Shack. There had been so much of the ethereal liquid “ it couldn’t have contained only one memory. One memory could fit into a strand no thicker than a piece of hair. What else had Harry seen? Ever single book Rose had ever read had only mentioned the one memory “ a reply of one of many conversations in which Dumbledore told Snape that Harry was the final Horcurx. Nothing more, nothing less.
Severus’s words just now, however, and the argument earlier painted another picture however. There was something else. Rose gazed at the man who sat across from her. He wasn’t looking at her anymore “ in fact, he seemed to be lost in thought. Rose couldn’t help herself “ she needed to know. ‘What else was in those memories?’ she ventured.
Severus didn’t reply to her question. His lips grew thinner. ‘They never change,’ he snarled under his breath.
‘Was it something about Uncle Harry’s mum, Lily?’ asked Rose, with bated breath.
With sudden ferocity, Snape stood, his chair screeching as it was pushed backwards. He towered over her, and Rose couldn’t help cringing. ‘I refuse to answer questions that you can find the answers to elsewhere!’ His face was paper-white, his hands flat on the table, knuckles white as ice. His eyes, by contrast, were darker than she’d ever seen them.
He seemed to have lost the ability to speak after that, which only made Rose angrier. ‘What are you afraid of? Are you afraid that people will like you? That they’ll know you’re a good man?’
‘I’m not afraid of anything!’ shouted Snape.
‘Of course you are!’ retorted Rose, standing too. She was still much shorter than him. ‘You’re afraid of everything! Of people, of staying here, of the things others might know, of your own memories! Why won’t you stay here? Would it be so bad? I saved your life, remember!’
‘And I saved yours, Miss Weasley! Or has that slipped your mind?’
It took Rose a moment to reply and when she did, her voice was little more than a whisper. ‘Is that what this is about? A life-debt? Because you owed me your life? Is that why you won’t stay?’
Severus’s eyes narrowed until she could only see a slit of black through the lids. He leaned towards her suddenly and Rose thought for a moment that she’d gone too far and he wanted to strike her. But he only grabbed the Time Turner’s golden chain from where it hung around her neck and slid it over his own head as well.
‘Were anyone else sitting across from me right now, and had they dared to utter the words you have in the past five minutes, they would be dead,’ he hissed, his face close to her now. ‘I am not a pleasant man, Miss Weasley.’
Rose didn’t lean away and she didn’t cringe this time. ‘I never said you were, Professor And it’s Rose,’ she added icily. ‘Or had that slipped your mind?’
Snape’s expression was unfathomable. He grabbed the hourglass that was dangling in between them and twisted it without another word.
They were back, at Hogwarts, near the edge of the Forbidden Forest and the battle was still in full swing. In fact, Rose saw as she glanced at her wristwatch, while Snape removed the golden chain from around his neck, there was still about an hour and a half before the Snape of this time died. And lucky for them, they’d managed to appear in an area that was thick with flying spells. Rose only just managed to duck as a rampant Stun Spell appeared out of nowhere in a flash of red light.
‘Was this the best place you could find?’ shouted Rose to Severus from the grassy earth.
‘I wasn’t aiming,’ muttered Snape curtly. ‘Get up, unless you want to lose your head next time.’
‘It’ll be your fault,’ opined Rose grumpily, glaring as she stood up and dusted herself off.
This time around, Rose was prepared for the sight of battle. Across the grounds she saw a burst of green light and a falling shadow and didn’t feel the shock she had last time. However, she was more afraid now. She knew what she might see, and what might happen, and she could still remember Voldemort’s cold voice as if he were speaking in her ear at that very moment. She almost wished that she was still as innocent as she had been last time. The fear clawing at her throat was making her heart go wild. She could feel beads of sweat on her forehead. This was not where she belonged. In her time, war was a memory. Her elders spoke of it gravely, her fellow classmates and friends, almost jokingly. Rose had never used a spell with the intention of trying to save her own life, or the life of another. She knew the spells, but not the techniques “ she had no clue how to fight or duel, not really, not out of a classroom where a single move could be the difference between life and death.
Another spell flew past, almost hitting Snape. He nearly didn’t step away in time, being too busy reaching into his pocket. He cursed loudly and he stepped to one side at the very instant the spell whizzed past. He still didn’t have a wand, and this time, he really needed it.
‘Have mine,’ said Rose, and she pulled out her own wand and pushed it into his hand.
He accepted it but frowned at her. ‘What if you don’t arrive near home?’
Rose grimaced at the thought. If the Time Turner decided to drop her off in Scotland, or if she didn’t aim correctly, she would have no way of Apparating back home. Apparation required a wand.
‘I’ll figure something out,’ Rose said with a shrug. ‘Don’t wor”’
A branch cracked nearby, as if someone had stepped on it. Severus silenced her by raising a hand, as he peered over her head. To Rose’s right lay the rest of Hogwarts. Sounds of shouts and cries for help mingled with screamed curses and counter-curses. Every now and then another out of control spell flew overhead, crashing into one of the many trees of the forest. Behind Rose, the forest curved, forming a small, natural cul-de-sac.
The small cracking sound had come from somewhere between the trees. Rose didn’t dare turn around. She watched Snape’s face as he scanned the trees behind her, lighting the wand in his hand with an unspoken spell. For a moment, Rose felt her feet were frozen to the ground “ then she heard the rustling of robes. Without waiting a moment more, she turned around. Snape grabbed her by the upper arm and pushed her unceremoniously behind him as he raised Rose’s lit wand over his head.
‘Who’s there?’ he asked loudly.
Rose’s heart was threatening to pop out of her chest and she peered around Snape, unable to stop herself. Severus sensed the movement and his hand slipped behind his back and grabbed her forearm. He clenched his fingers in warning and Rose moved back. She was much shorter than him, and thinner, so she was quite well hidden behind him.
‘Severus?’ asked a growling voice, curiously.
‘Greyback?’ asked Severus, and if Rose hadn’t known better she would have thought she sensed fear in his voice. His nails dug into her skin.
‘What are you doing here, Severus? I thought the Dark Lord was looking for you.’ Greyback’s voice was low, almost animal-like. She couldn’t see him, but Rose imagined a man with sharp teeth and wild grey hair. Then she remembered. Fenrir Greyback was a wizard, a Death Eater “ a werewolf. He’d been the one who’d bitten Teddy Lupin’s father. And Uncle Bill. The thought sent icy chills down Rose’s spine and she clutched at Snape’s robes involuntarily.
‘I have already seen the Dark Lord, Fenrir,’ said Snape smoothly. ‘I was looking for Potter, on his orders. I think the more urgent question is what you are doing here. As I remember, you were given strict orders to remain in battle.’
Fenrir let out a growling laugh. ‘I was looking for some little children to maul,’ he replied with unhidden glee. ‘They all seem to have vanished. The youngest one’s are always the most fun “ and of course, the girls. I haven’t been able to catch many today.’ He paused for a moment and Rose imagined he was licking his lips or something equally revolting. ‘I doubt you’ll find Potter here, Severus. I suspect he’s up in the castle, cowering in the loo.’
Severus didn’t share his opinion. ‘I haven’t been able to find him anywhere else. The Forest would be an obvious place for him to hide.’ There was an odd sound, like someone breathing hard… or sniffing. Snape, still talking, took one slow step backwards, pushing Rose along too. ‘I would advise you to return to the castle, Greyback, before the Dark Lord”’
Fenrir Greyback was no longer listening. ‘What have you got behind you back, Snape?’ he asked coldly.
Severus’s hand was cutting off all circulation in Rose’s arm now. Fear surged up into Rose’s throat, and she almost let out a small whimper of fear. Greyback could smell her.
‘Who are you protecting, Snape?’ continued the werewolf, voice dangerously low. Severus was now stepping back more quickly. ‘Is it a student, Snape?’ There was a short pause. In a burst of light from a wild spell, Rose saw the shadow of the man shaking his head. ‘I’ve always agreed with Bella, Snape. About you “ something was always wrong with you. I can smell her, you know, I can smell her as clear as day. She must be a pretty child for you to be protecting her “ I know you have a thing for the lovely ones. Been playing games with her, have we?’
And then suddenly, he pounced. With lightning speed, Severus spun and pushed Rose down with himself. Fenrir sailed over their heads, leaping farther and higher than humanely possible. He landed on the other side on all fours and gave the two a pointy-toothed grin.
‘Let me have some fun, Severus, and I’ll never tell anyone,’ he snarled. ‘I won’t kill her “ just bite her a bit. She might not be so pretty after that “ but I suppose that’s a reasonable price to pay for your life!’
On the word “life” he leapt into the air again, but this time Severus was ready. He raised Rose’s wand and white light burst from the tip, hitting Greyback head on. The wolf-man fell to the earth with a screeching howl of pain and Severus jumped to his feet, dragging Rose along with him. He raced into the trees as Fenrir struggled to his haunches, groaning.
Snape’s hand was wrapped tightly around hers, but he was running much too fast for her to keep up. She almost tripped and fell more than once as they raced through trees and bushes and brambles. Branches slapped Rose’s cheeks, scraped her eyes, cut her skin as she raced past.
‘Why didn’t you stun him?’ she shrieked, as soon as the fear abated slightly and she regained use of her voice. ‘Why didn’t you just stun him?!’ She could hear someone racing behind them “ Fenrir was on the hunt. And Rose guessed he could maneuver through the forest much better than herself or Severus “ even as a man, he was more than half wolf. The blood-lust in his voice had been hard to miss.
‘I wasn’t thinking straight,’ spat out Snape grudgingly.
‘Oh, what a perfect time to stop thinking straight!’ yelled Rose. The branches were becoming thicker by the second, and a particularly large one struck out hard. Rose’s neck jerked backwards from the force of the hit and for a second, she was running blind. Blood was pouring from somewhere on her forehead into her eyes. She rubbed at them frantically, trying to blink away the warm fluid.
Without warning, something caught at her shoulder and Rose heard a snarling behind her. She cried out as Fenrir’s fingers sank into her shoulders, his nails like claws, digging past skin and meat and muscle. He tried to pull her back, but she wrenched her shoulder out of his grasp.
Severus had heard her cry, and looked back. As Rose pulled away, he released a burst of red light and Greyback was forced to stop and dodge the spell.
‘Miss Weasley,’ Snape snarled at Rose, ‘if you don’t keep up, I refuse to save you next time!’
The pain in her shoulder was blinding and the simple movement of her arm as they ran was agony. ‘It’s Rose!’ she shouted, pain fueling fury. ‘Why can’t you call me Rose?’
‘Another flower,’ Snape was saying, between heavy breaths. ‘Another flower.’ He seemed to be shaking his head. ‘Let me guess “ your uncle suggested your name?’
Rose couldn’t understand how he’d known, but this didn’t seem the time to ask. This conversation was already unorthodox, bearing in mind that they were running for their lives. ‘Yes! He did! Are you going to bloody hold that against him too?’
Severus didn’t reply, but Rose almost didn’t notice. She’d realized something. The sounds of someone crashing through the forest behind her had ceased.
‘Stop,’ she tried, but the relief that flooded through her made her suddenly exhausted. Her breath came in short, tight gasps, and she could hardly get a word out anymore. ‘Stop “ wait “ Professor”’ She sucked in as much air as she could, almost stumbling over a jutting tree root and shouted, ‘SEVERUS!’
She hadn’t meant to say his first name, but it worked. He came to a sudden stop, and Rose’s momentum carried her right into him. She slammed into him and then toppled to the ground, completely winded. She realized that they were still holding hands, and even as she gulped down one breath after another, a shiver ran up her spine.
‘What is it?’ asked Snape exasperatedly, letting go of her hand and looking down at her, but Rose couldn’t get another word out. She clutched at the stitch in her side, and her injured shoulder, and sat there on the muddy forest floor, head on her knees, gasping to get her breath back. By contrast, Severus was hardly out of breath.
It didn’t take long for the Potion’s Master to figure out why she’d stopped him on his own. He raised his wand high, looking for any sign of Fenrir in the surrounding trees, but there didn’t seem to be any trace of him. He lowered his wand slightly, still looking wary and the glanced down at Rose.
‘Did he bite you?’ he asked suddenly, and ferociously. By now, Rose had managed enough air back into her lungs to fuel her mouth.
‘No,’ she breathed, glancing at her shoulder. It was a mess of ripped robes, shredded skin and blood. It hurt like hell. ‘It was his hand.’
Severus looked back at the trees encircling them again, before bending down to look at her shoulder. He touched the tip of his wand to the gash, and the pain vanished and the bleeding slowed slightly.
‘I told you, you should have stayed with me “ us,’ Rose said quietly as he cast the same spells on the cut on her forehead. For a moment, they were so close that Rose could have kissed him.
‘You’ll require a potion to heal the wounds completely,’ replied Snape, ignoring her statement. ‘Get some as soon as you get home. Your mother will know which ones to give you.’ He straightened up.
Rose gazed at him by the light of the wand, and then at the still forest behind him. She stood slowly, on shaky legs. ‘Now what?’ she asked. ‘Shall I leave?’ All the emotions of the past fifteen minutes came rushing back and she was almost overcome by the urge to cry. Her voice wavered slightly.
‘If you wish,’ replied Snape impassively. ‘I’d suggest, however, that you remain here for a few more minutes. It might not be safe to leave. You’ll have to exit the forest to use the Time Turner properly.’ He took one last glance around before sinking onto a boulder that was half embedded in the soft forest floor.
Rose looked around properly for the first time. They were sitting in a small patch of earth that was free of trees. Bushes dotted its surface, along with weeds and flowers. The trees surrounded it in a large circle, forming a natural room in the forest. If Severus’s wand hadn’t been lit, it would have been pitch-black. The trees bent overhead, their leaves thick, blocking any moonlight that might have filtered in. Rose sat down too, on the grass. Waiting seemed better than venturing out and getting attacked.
‘Nox,’ murmured Snape after Rose had taken her seat. They were immediately bathed in black. Rose couldn’t see anything “ for a moment, she felt like she’d closed her eyes.
They sat in silence for a second, but the quiet and the dark were beginning to frighten Rose. That, and the thought of all the dangerous animals that lived in the forest. Every rustle, snap and crack made her think that Fenrir had come back, or a Chimera was creeping up on them. She wanted to talk, just to drive away the fear, but she was pretty sure that Severus wouldn’t start a conversation.
‘Why does your portrait make a point of not speaking to me?’ she whispered. There was no reply for a moment. She knew the question seemed extremely random in the given circumstances.
‘I couldn’t say,’ replied Severus idly. She heard the grass rustle nearby and assumed he was moving his feet.
‘He won’t say a word to me,’ persisted Rose. ‘He’s only ever looked at me. But he talked to Al and Lily and “ and James, all the time.’
‘Why do I have a portrait in the Headmaster’s office?’ asked Snape abruptly. Rose didn’t know if it was her imagination, but she felt his dark eyes on her. ‘My… resignation… was not an orthodox one.’
‘No, it didn’t appear there by itself like they usually do. Uncle Harry ordered one to be made and put up. None of the other portraits rejected it, so I’d say they don’t care about orthodoxies of your exit.’
‘Potter insisted on a portrait?’ Snape sounded rather disbelieving. Rose didn’t bother trying to convince him. She still couldn’t understand the extent of hatred between her uncle and Severus. It made no sense to her, but then again, she wasn’t either of them.
‘Why won’t he speak to me?’ she repeated.
‘Why would you want him to speak to you?’
Words jammed themselves in Rose’s throat and became so muddled up that they didn’t make it to her mouth. Rose opened her mouth and then snapped it shut again. Why indeed? What innocent explanation could she give for this?
‘I don’t know.’ Oh, smart answer.
Silence again. The trees whispered around them. Rose realized that even the sounds of the battle had been completely muffled. ‘Perhaps my portrait knows something I do not,’ he replied. ‘There may be memories that were formed before it was painted that I, as of yet, do not possess.’ Something in his voice made her think that he wasn’t being entirely truthful, but she didn’t push it. Maybe she was imagining the tone. The darkness made everything seem suspicious.
‘Oh,’ she replied softly, ripping a weed that met her fingers out of the soil. What memories? Had something happened that would cause Severus Snape to look down at her with such an odd expression on his face from the winged armchair of his portrait? An expression that was altogether unfathomable and disconcerting? Had she done something to insult him? Rose felt slightly sick just going over all the possible scenarios in her mind. Her stupid little one-sided love affair with a portrait in the Headmaster’s office was unpleasant to think about. She would always feel embarrassed of it “ embarrassed, perhaps, because she was so… naïve… to become infatuated and more with a man who was not only dead but had never, in anyone’s living memory (at least as far as books upon him traced), ever been in love with anyone…
What made her think that she was different? What made her think that she was special?
The arrogance of the thought was nauseating and Rose felt a sudden loathing for herself. Childish, immature, silly… everything he would and probably did hate.
‘What will you do after I leave?’ asked Rose suddenly.
‘Return to the battle,’ replied Severus immediately.
‘You can’t.’
‘Can’t I?’
‘No,’ replied Rose. ‘If you return to battle “ you’re supposed to be dead. I mean, you are dead. If you go back to the fight, you’ll be changing history. You died that day.’
‘Maybe I still will.’ Snape’s voice was monotonous.
‘Don’t you want to live?’ burst out Rose incredulously. ‘Why are you so keen on going back?’
‘It is my duty,’ said Snape, his voice hard. ‘I’m sure you know all about that.’
‘You died! You don’t have to go back! You can’t change history! They’ll know it was me who helped you.’
‘Perhaps you should have thought of that before you helped me.’
‘That isn’t the point!’ cried Rose. ‘You should have stayed with us! It would be safer than coming back here!’
‘It is more complicated than a choice between safe and not safe.’
‘No, it isn’t!’ shouted Rose, and she stood up now, though she was blind in the darkness. ‘Things are only as complicated as you make them! Everything is simple underneath! I don’t know why, but there is one reason why you don’t want to stay with me, so you don’t! There is one reason why you’d rather come back here! Maybe you want to die, so here you are! Voldemort needs the Elder Wand “ if he sees you alive, he won’t send a snake after you again! He’ll just hit you with Avada Kedavra, and that’s it! Everything wasted! That’s what you want though, isn’t it?!’
‘It isn’t that simple,’ snarled Severus again.
‘It is!’ insisted Rose loudly. ‘It is! Everything is! I could stop pretending that I want you to stay with me because of the danger or the possibility that you’ll change the past or the fact that the Ministry might arrest me or that I want you to feel the respect so many people have for you now! That is complicated! But it’s all just an act! The real reason I want you to stay is because I”’
‘Miss Weasley,’ said Snape warningly.
‘No, let me say it now “ you know it anyway”’
‘Stop right now!’
‘Why? Why should I listen to you? Things aren’t complicated are they? Just like the fact that I”’
Suddenly, there was light. Severus had lit the wand silently and Rose’s eyes narrowed at the unexpected brightness. ‘Do you want someone to hear you, you silly girl?’ he hissed. He pointed the wand at her face.
She reached forward and snatched her wand back from him angrily. ‘I don’t care if anyone”’
‘Rose, stop or I will not be responsible for my actions!’ shouted Severus. He was standing too, now.
The use of her name might have stopped her under usual circumstances, but now it just goaded her on. ‘Why can’t you hear it!’ she cried, close to tears now. ‘Let me say it, you hateful man! I love you! I love you, I love you, I love you! Everything is that simple! I want you to stay with me because I goddamned love you! You’re cruel and heartless and you’re afraid of kindness, but I don’t care! I can’t stop my feelings! It’s that simple!’
For a moment the only sound was of Rose’s breathing. Snape was looking at her, completely pokerfaced. It was better than pity, Rose thought to herself. He walked up to her slowly, until they were almost touching. The difference in their height was even more noticeable now, and Rose almost had to crane her neck to look up at him.
He bent down slightly and whispered, ‘Things are not that simple, Rose.’
Rose’s heart pounded wildly.
And then, abruptly, his gaze travelled over her shoulder. Still looking up at him, Rose saw his pupils contract suddenly, something green reflected in their blackness. With unexpected speed, his arm came out and threw Rose to one side. She landed on her back and her head struck a pointed rock that jutted out from the ground. White exploded in front of her eyes as she heard an odd thump to her right and a snarling laugh. Her head was pounding in time to the beating of her heart. She struggled to sit up, sensing danger, and blinked hard to clear her vision. A shadow loomed over her and before Rose could even think about it, her fingers tightened around her wand, her arm shot out and she shouted, ‘Impedimenta!!’
The shadow collapsed instantaneously and Rose blinked frenetically, standing up shakily. Fenrir Greyback was on the ground, trying to fight off the charm. He growled at her monstrously, and Rose lifted her wand to attack him “ just as her first spell wore off.
The werewolf was on his feet in the blink of an eye, wand slashing the air as he stood. Rose felt something lash at her chest and she fell back against a tree, and cried out, ‘No!’ She raised her wand again, but all her movements were slower than usual, thanks to her injuries. Fenrir’s hot breath was against her neck before she could even think of a spell. Rose kicked out viciously, catching Greyback in the stomach. He let out a pained sound, and fell away from her.
Rose scrambled to her feet and plunged into the trees behind her, wand clenched so tightly in her hand that she was close to snapping it.
Greyback recovered quickly from the kick and laughed out. His animal eyes scanned the trees around him. ‘Come out to play, child,’ he whispered. ‘I won’t hurt you “ for too long.’ His lit wand moved with his eyes. Rose tried her best not to breathe. But she’d forgotten. Greyback would be able to smell her.
His eyes lit up as he looked right at her in the trees, not seeing her but smelling her. ‘Stupefy!’ he screamed, flicking his wand.
The red light was coming straight for her. ‘Protego!’ she shouted, just in time, before turning around and running through the trees.
Greyback wasted no time. He dodged away from the rebounding spell and jumped in after her. ‘Give up, girl! You can’t win!’ he taunted as he ran.
Rose kept her lit wand high above her head, trying to spot dangerous jutting roots or particularly thorny brambles before she ran into them. It was almost impossible to do so, she realized, as a branch came out of nowhere. She only just ducked in time. And then suddenly, she was back in the clearing. She’d gone in a complete circle.
‘Crucio!’ called Greyback from behind her, gleefully.
Rose threw herself to the forest floor as fast as she could. Her wand slipped from her hand and landed on her right as the beam of lit flew past overhead. For Greyback, it was a win-win situation. Rose scrambled for her wand, but the werewolf had already pounced. He turned her over harshly, and grabbed the arm that was reaching for her wand. He twisted it brutally. Rose cried out through clenched teeth and tried to push the man off of her, but he was ready this time. He dealt her a resounding slap to the face that left her blinking away blackness for a moment.
‘Run away from me, will you?’ he whispered, bending down to her ear. ‘Don’t you know who you’re dealing with?’ A long-nailed finger scraped her jaw line. He looked greedily at her.
‘I was right, you are a pretty one.’ He laughed softly, and his breath hit Rose’s face. She clenched her eyes tightly, trying to kick and punch and bite, but his arms and legs were pinning her down. And her wand was too far away and they were so deep in the forest that no one would ever hear her screams.
Fenrir’s lips touched her neck and in a moment of greed, he moved his hands from her arms to run them over her body. ‘Too bad Severus is too dead to join us “ I’d invite him to have some fun too.’
Rose lashed out immediately, with a deafening scream. Her fist swung out and she caught Greyback on the cheekbone. With a roar, he fell back slightly momentarily stunned. He was still on top of her mostly, but it was enough. Rose turned to the right and pushed forward as far as she could “ and grabbed her wand.
Fenrir had recovered, and he pressed his hands to her neck immediately, with murderous pressure. Rose choked.
‘Stupid girl,’ he snarled in her ear, as he shook her by the neck. Tears squeezed themselves out of Rose’s eyes and tightened her grip on her wand. Greyback, it seemed, hadn’t realized she’d gotten it back. Rose thanked all the professors who’d insisted on non-verbal spells over the years, and thought, Stupefy!, pointing her wand right at the werewolf.
He was thrown away from her immediately, and collapsed to the earth with a dull thud, an unmoving heap.
Rose collapsed, unable to keep standing. There was deadly silence in the little forest-room. Rose felt sobs rising in her throat as she lay there, on mud and grass, head throbbing, something warm running down through her hair and onto her neck.
Please, no, she pleaded with whatever invisible force existed. Please, please, no.
She didn’t want to look, she didn’t want to open her eyes, she didn’t want to know. Lying there, she felt like she could pretend that it was a dream, forever. Leaves rustled around her as she cried, as if encouraging her to sit up. The sound made her realize that the danger had not passed “ would not, until she got away. She had to sit up.
Her head protested painfully as she lifted herself up. How much blood had she lost in the past hour alone? She supposed she was lucky that the knock on her head hadn’t made black out, or killed her completely.
Opening her eyes was harder than sitting up. The first thing she saw was Fenrir Greyback, lying in a mound before her. His wand was still in his relaxed hand. Rose lifted her own wand and muttered, ‘Reducto.’ In place of the wand lay a pile of dust now, completely useless.
And then, finally, Rose turned to Severus.
She crawled over to him slowly, to the still, black-robed form lying there, and turned him over. Sobs wrenched themselves from her throat at the sight that met her. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair at all. This time, he really was dead. His eyes were still open, dark but empty. It was only now, when the black was devoid of light, that she realized it: the opaqueness of his eyes had held a plethora of emotion. She’d just been too dense to see it. There was nothing she could do to save him now. He was truly gone. Why had she taken her wand from him? If only he’d had it…
Rose put a hand over his eyes and closed them, as gently as she could. With teeth clenched tightly against the sobs that were fighting to leave her, Rose leaned over the Potion’s Master and, not caring if anyone saw (though no one would), kissed his lifeless lips softly. Salty tears slipped down her cheeks and fell into the kiss.
For a moment, she almost believed he was alive.
She managed to find her way out of the forest eventually. She had found the Invisibility Cloak in her enlarged pocket, which only made her angrier. Why hadn’t she pulled it out earlier? Why hadn’t she remembered it? Why had she taken away Severus’s wand? Was every death to be her fault? If only she’d used the cloak, Greyback wouldn’t have spotted them. If only she’d let Severus keep the wand, he would have been able to stop the werewolf before it was too late.
The Cloak was draped over Snape’s still form, now. He was gliding alongside her, invisible. It took all of Rose’s remaining strength to keep the spell active. She could hardly walk. As she emerged from the forest, she heard a cold voice, echoing around the grounds. She looked up and heard the words Voldemort spoke, but didn’t understand them. All she knew was that it was the same thing he’d said last time she’d been here. That meant that another Rose was in the Shrieking Shack at that moment, helping another Severus. A living one.
By the time Rose reached the shack, she was sure that the other Rose was gone.
The Shrieking Shack was the best place to put the body, Rose had decided. That way, when Uncle Harry and the others returned to retrieve the body, they would actually find one. No suspicion, no changing history, no arrest warrant from the Ministry. Things had worked out after all. Rose didn’t feel happy though. She felt sick and hurt and a part of her wished that she’d simply let Greyback kill her. She couldn’t stand the pain.
She walked up into the shack, back to the room in which she’d first seen Lord Voldemort in the flesh. And where she had first seen Severus Snape alive. It felt like she was drifting in a dream, as she lowered her wand and Snape’s body settled itself onto the grimy wooden floor. There was still blood puddle there.
Rose pulled off the cloak and tried not to look into the face. She wondered for a moment, how she’d found Severus lying on that day so that she could position him the same way, but the memory refused to come to her. She didn’t care anyway. So what if someone found the way he was lying odd. They wouldn’t be able to guess that a girl had healed him, taken him back to her time, gotten him to make a cure for a disease and then brought him back, only to allow him to die “ no, they wouldn’t be able to guess that simply by looking at the body. Or by noticing the lack of snake bites.
She looked into his face by accident, and the tears began to flow again. Why? She wanted someone to answer that question, wanted to hear a reasonable explanation. She wanted to know which insane being ran this world, so that she could go and tell them off. They were doing a terrible job.
Everyone she’d wanted to save had died. What did that say about Rose? Why had James and Severus both lost their lives? Would things have been better had she not meddled? Of course not “ both of them would have died anyway. But why had they died when she’d done her best to give them life? The cure should have fixed James, Severus shouldn’t have died all over again. It was ridiculous, stupid, it was not fair!
She loved him.
She could almost hear Snape saying to her, “It was infatuation.” She could almost see the sneer on his face.
But it wasn’t infatuation. Rose knew that. She didn’t see past Snape’s faults “ she saw him with each and every one he possessed (more than the average human being) and she still loved him. She respected him and knew what he’d done and she saw him without bias. Severus was right, even if you ignored the fact that he’d once been a Death Eater and killed people, he was still not a pleasant man. That didn’t matter though. She didn’t know why she loved him “ she just did.
What had he been about to do when Fenrir crept up on them?
Rose would never know. That was one thing she knew for sure, as she held onto a dead man’s hand, tears dripping off of her nose and cheeks and slipping into her mouth, reminding her of a kiss. That was one thing that was certain, in a world of uncertainty.
She would never know.