Lily yawned, trying to think opportunistically about the day ahead. She was now single, which could be a good thing. She only had to get through one detention, even if she had to serve it with three mean looking Slytherins plus Sirius, then she had the rest of the day to just relax. James hadn’t done anything this morning to screw up her life. She shut her eyes and smiled to herself. In fact, she hadn’t seen him at all today, which was definitely a…
“Look who’s here, Prongs.” Lily opened her eyes at the sound of her nonsensical new nickname. Cursing Merlin, God, Buddha and anything else that was holy with Muggles and wizards alike, she saw herself approaching. James, of course looked completely confident in her body as he strutted down the hallway towards them, he was even running his hands through his hair.
“What are you doing here?” Lily spat out. Had he come to mock her, or did simply enjoy finding new ways to ruin her life?
“I got a detention,” James replied in a happy voice.
“For WHAT?” Lily yelled, causing the three Slytherins to jump. She had been to Hogwarts for six years and three weeks and she had managed to gain only two detentions, for minor offences.
James Potter had been in her body for all of 36 hours and he had managed to get one. A small voice interrupted her train of furious thinking. Why on earth was she surprised? She waited for his answer.
“I punched Gladon, that Slytherin kid--” He gave a cheesy smile to the three Slytherins who scowled back-- “in the face after dinner yesterday. It broke his nose.” James examined his fingernails as though this was nothing more out of the ordinary than talking about the weather. The terrible threesome cracked their knuckles, but made no further moves. Maybe they were afraid of ending up like Gladon.
“Why?” Lily asked in exasperation. She was a little shocked. What had possessed James to punch a six foot Slytherin in the face?
“He insulted my hair,” James answered fluidly. “That is of course the stupidest thing in the world. My hair is gorgeous.” He flipped it over his shoulder, proving his point. Lily sighed; was there no end to this madness? Why couldn’t she have swapped bodies with someone more normal and less possessive?
A small part of her was rather impressed with James, she had wanted to punch Gladon in the face since first year. She ignored this part of her. Was this some sort of karma for trying to break the rules?
Sirius was obviously not thinking at the same rate as Lily, because he was just standing still and staring, a look of amazement on his face. He then spontaneously swept James into a hug, swinging his small frame around in a circle.
“You broke his nose?” He laughed, releasing James from his tight grip. “Why, Lily, I do believe James is rubbing off on you!”
At precisely quarter to nine, McGonagall ushered the six detainees into an empty classroom. The three Slytherins sat in the back row, Lily and Sirius sat in the middle, while James slipped into the front. It was their job to sort out old potions ingredients into what was useable and what wasn’t. It was utterly disgusting and boring work; perfect for a detention.
Lily was furious with James, and an hour of sorting dead newt’s eyes into jars had done little to improve her mood. He’d only been in her body one day and he had managed to rack up half the detentions she had in seven years at Hogwarts. Punching people in the face, breaking up with her boyfriend, taking long showers and Merlin knows what else. He seemed to enjoy messing with her.
Suddenly, she was overwhelmed by the desire to do something immature. She glanced over at the potions ingredients. Hundreds of eyes glanced back. Before she knew what she was doing, her hand reached out…
She flicked a dead eye at him.
He flinched, obviously ready to respond but as he turned to move, Professor McGonagall caught him and gave him a warning glare. Although it was not as harsh as the one he would have received in his own body, the message was clear. Talking, moving, turning, tapping and even breathing too loudly was a big no in her detentions. Satisfied he got the message, McGonagall turned back to her papers. Seeing this, James decided to take a chance and turn…
Lily flicked another, just as he was turning around. It hit him straight in the face, causing him to slop brown liquid all over himself.
Lily silently began to laugh, but stopped suddenly at the devilish gleam in James’ green eyes. In the instant their eyes connected, she knew she was out of her depth. Starting a war with James was a very bad idea. She sent him a pleading look, but it was wasted. James had already begun his next move.
Very carefully and deliberately, James sighed.
“Oh, no, it’s all over my robes!” James cried in a very good imitation of girly disgust. Quickly, he pulled his robes over his head and threw them to the ground. Lily was unsure where he was going with this, but immediately felt wary. McGonagall looked at James with a peculiar expression, but said nothing. She seemed unsure at how to react.
“Oh, no, it also looks like I got my shirt too,” James continued, faking a huge sigh. “I should take that off as well.” Staring Lily straight in they eye, he slowly itched his fingers to the bottom of the wet top. Lily began to panic, darting quick glances around the room.
McGonagall had frozen, for the first time ever she had no idea how to handle her students. The three Slytherin’s were looking on with great anticipation, looks of excitement barely concealed on their ugly features. As a last ditch effort, she stole a look at Sirius, who looked very pleased, too pleased, with the turn of events.
“NO!” Lily yelled before James could go any further. Six pairs of eyes stared at her. The green eyes, belonging to James, were full of mirth and superiority. He knew he had won and was silently gloating at her. The dark brown eyes, belonging to McGonagall were extremely confused and a little irritated. The grey eyes, belonging to Sirius were half shocked and half furious.
“Er, Lily, I don’t think that will be necessary,” McGonagall interjected before anything could go any further. “You obviously haven’t been feeling yourself these past few days. You may leave detention and go clean yourself up.” She shot a kind smile at James, one that someone would bestow on a daughter. He shot a wink at Lily before skipping out of the room.
“As for you, James, I have absolutely no idea what has gotten into you today.” She eyed him warily. “You may also leave.”
“What about me, Professor. I swear I’m different too…” Sirius smirked while Lily stalked from the room. “I’ve also been up to something strange and mysterious…”
“Just go,” McGonagall sighed, also motioning to the Slytherin boys that they could leave. Sirius sent her a wink on his way out. Professor McGonagall sighed, at least some things weren’t completely out of order…
“Merlin, Prongs! When was the last time you had a shower?”
This was not what Lily wanted to hear. Finally arriving back in the dormitory, all she wanted to do was curl up on her bed (well, James’ bed at least) and shut her eyes to the world surrounding her. Sirius hadn’t followed her from the detention, so she thought she could slip in some alone time.
Apparently she had been wrong.
Upon entering the dormitory, she had found Remus and Peter sitting on the bed, talking about Godric knows what. She had walked past them on the way to James’ trunk, hoping to find something at least marginally interesting to read. But as she passed the boys on the bed, they both wrinkled their noses in distaste. Hence the comment about showers from Remus.
Lily turned back around to look at the two boys, who were now looking at her with a mixture of curiosity and amusement. Apparently the question was not rhetorical and they were expecting an answer.
“Thursday,” Lily replied. In reality she had no idea if James had had a shower on Thursday or not. That had been when the potion exploded.
“You do realise its Saturday, right?” asked Peter in a mocking tone. “Most people at least change their clothes once a day.”
“They also occasionally shower.” Remus added, before both boys chuckled. So they were more observant than Lily gave them credit for at least. That was bad news for her; she would have to find a way around it. Why did James’ friends even care about his shower habits anyway?
Remus just laughed at her tortured expression, rummaged through his own trunk and threw a bar of soap at Lily. “I suggest you use it. Seriously, you smell like a drunken rabbit has died on you. If you don’t go have a shower, I swear I will drag you there myself.” He smiled at Lily’s bewildered expression. “We do have to share a room with you…”
“Damn it!” Lily cursed inside her head. Weren’t boys meant to be dirty creatures who didn’t mind missing a few showers? Maybe if she could somehow escape from the dormitory…
Lily gulped, recognising that resistance was futile. Maybe it was time for the inevitable.
Twenty minutes later, Lily was standing in front of the mirror staring at James’ dishevelled form. Apparently, someone out there didn’t hate her, because she was blissfully alone in the shower room. Glancing at the mirror, she turned this way and that, examining James from a variety of different angles. He really wasn’t terrible looking she decided. In fact, he was more attractive than Rodger.
Pushing the thought aside, she pulled the filthy robes over her head to reveal a long baggy t-shirt and plain jeans. The clothes looked good on James; simple, yet strangely alluring. She lifted up the shirt slightly to revel a very toned stomach. Laughing, she dropped the shirt and leaned in closer to the mirror
“I’ve heard people say,” Lily said to the reflection, trying to force James’ voice as low as possible, “That too much of anything is not good for you, babe.” James’ reflection looked half amused, half seductive. Lily smiled at the thought. She was all alone in James’ body. There was no harm in having a little fun was there?
“My darling I- ” she sung as she lifted the shirt again to reveal her stomach, then let it drop back into place. “Can’t get enough of your love, babe.”
Lily slowly pulled off the shirt, dancing as she went. Moving into a grapevine spin, Lily increased the volume of her singing. “I don’t know wh-i-i-y.” Gazing in the mirror at James’ attractive body she began to sing louder still, swinging the shirt over her head like a lasso.
“I CAN’T GET ENOUGH OF YOUR LOVE BA-”
“What in Godic’s name are you doing?”
Lily jumped back and hit the counter, accidentally forcing the nozzle to come off the ancient plumbing. Water sprayed everywhere, soaking Lily and her unexpected guest from head to foot. Sirius was standing in the doorway, his face now a very wet picture of shock.
He gazed up and down at Lily, who was still holding her shirt in her hands, above her head. They both looked at the offending item of clothing for a full second, before Lily quickly threw it across the room.
“I heard singing,” Sirius said slowly, gazing at Lily as though she was from another planet. “I came in to see what was happening”
“I was just getting, er, changed…” Lily murmured. She was mortified. While she didn’t care if Sirius saw James stripping to Barry White, if it somehow got back to James she wouldn't ever live it down. Hoping against hope that Sirius would never, ever bring it up again, she began looking for an escape route.
Sirius slowly, as though approaching a crazy animal, walked forward and placed his hand on her forehead.
“Do you have a fever? Are you sick? I think I’m going to call a Healer, because you certainly aren’t acting like you are normal today.” Lily just shook her head, if only he knew. “Nonetheless, I am talking you to the hospital wing for a check up.” He pulled Lily towards him and sniffed, as though unsure of what he was smelling. “Right after you have a shower,” he finished before shoving Lily into a cubical.
“I have the greatest news!” Alice burst into the dormitory where James was trying on every item of clothing Lily owned. Momentarily stunned, Alice scanned the bombsite James had made of their dormitory. She paused for a moment as if trying to decide whether she should continue. Deciding she would interrogate Lily later, she went ahead with her news.
“Frank managed to get some work up at Hogsemade as part of his training! Professor Dumbledore is allowing him to visit me in the castle on weekends!”
James vaguely remembered Frank as a Gryffindor boy two years his senior. He had been nice, often the first to join in the laughter after a prank - even if he was the subject. He had no idea that Alice and Frank were dating, but from the look on Alice’s face, it was obvious it wasn’t just a schoolgirl crush.
He wondered why he had never known this news when a sad thought hit him. When he really thought about it, how much did he know about the Gryffindor girls who weren’t Lily? Sadly, not enough. Vowing to use this time as Lily to find out a little more about the Gryffindor girls, he realised he wasn’t even listening to what Alice was saying. Quickly, he tuned in, trying to pick up the conversation.
“- And I know how hard you were working on the potion, so I’m sorry for that “”
“The Potion was for you?” James blurted out. Relief washed over him. Lily hadn’t been lying when she said the potion wasn’t for her. But didn’t Alice just say she was going out with that Frank guy? What was with girls?
“Yes, Lily, remember?” Alice said, speaking very slowly, as though talking to a two year old with a mental problem. “It was so Frank could come and visit.” Alice scanned James again, deciding now she had shared her good news she could go into a full scale lecture.
“What has been up with you the last few days? First, you try and drown yourself in the shower. Seriously, you were in there for like an hour three times yesterday and twice today. Then, not only do you break up with your boyfriend, but you do it in a very public way. Yesterday, you punched Gladon in the face. I know you have wanted to do that for years, but still it’s not like you. Then you totally forget about the potion you were making for me, which has consumed your thoughts for the last three weeks. What is wrong with you?” She paused, obviously very out of breath. James tried quickly to think of a plausible explanation, but was interrupted by Alice again.
“You’re not hormonal are you?”
“I hope to Merlin, Godric and any other guy with a big white beard not.” Alice just shot him a sarcastic look, assuming she was correct. For the second time in three days James felt very scared. He just hoped to hell that he would be lucky this month.