Lily sat propped up in their bed, the pillows soothing the aches in her back as she cried silent, thankful tears as both of her men finally met. There was a small knock at the door, and Sirius entered. He returned James’ broad smile and took a seat next to Lily’s bed, not wanting to disturb the father and son. He reached out and grabbed Lily’s hand, his eyes, while brimming with the happiness he felt for his best friends, held something more.
“Sirius,” Lily said softly, removing her hand from his and tucking a stray lock, which invariably fell into his handsome face, behind his ear. “Tell me what happened. James was so distant when he arrived home last night, and then the baby began to come before…”
James held his sleeping son as tightly as he could. Harry seemed so small and fragile that James was half afraid that he would break in his arms. But, the little baby seemed to snuggle closer to him, sleeping in peace. James chuckled softly, unimaginably taken by this tiny being.
“My little giblet,” James cooed. “My precious little gibby boy.”
“Dumbledore sent us out last night,” Sirius began softly, not sure if he should tell her, but deciding she needed to know. “We set out, unsure of where we were going. We needed to find a small opaque stone that he said would be of some value to us. Dumbledore was vague about the uses, of course, but Remus sort of thought it had something to do with enhancing Petrification Potions, although James and I thought he was guessing a bit. Anyway, the cottage was unmistakable, once we figured out where we should be looking, what with all the protective charms placed on it. Took a bit of time, but we finally gained entry.”
Lily heard her son softly crying, but James was able to calm him. He gently rocked him, speaking softly to him.
“What’s this, Harry James Potter,” he admonished, his voice teasing, “tired of your old man already?”
The baby settled down again, and Lily turned her attention back to Sirius, whose demeanor had suddenly turned sullen and inward.
“Oh, Lily,” he said finally, keeping his voice low enough that James, who was very occupied with his son, could not hear. “It was awful. They came at us out of nowhere. I swear, no one heard them coming. They took out Wood before we even had time to react.”
Lily’s hand flew to her face as she recalled the sweet, plump boy from her year school. She hadn’t seen him in years, hadn’t even known he had become a member of the Order. She said a silent prayer for him, something she hadn’t done in quite some time.
James felt his son wake and stir in the protective embrace in which he held him. He adjusted the infant, holding him up and looked at the sweet little face, eyes not yet opened. He held him closer to him. James silently rubbed the newborn’s back, comforting him gently.
“My sweet boy,” James whispered, tears forming in his eyes. “My lovely little boy.”
Lily took a deep breath and gestured for Sirius to continue. She needed to know what had taken place the previous night. James would want to protect her from the truth. But, new mother or not, she was still a member of the Order and felt obligated to know what had happened.
“Well,” Sirius resumed, “we all jumped for cover, trying to determine just how many of them there were. We had James, Remus, Peter and me, of course. Wood was obviously gone, but we also had Almadon and Gilroy. None of us were harmed, from what I could see, but they had hidden as well. It was hard for me to judge how many we were up against. I saw faint shadows of half a dozen.”
The stirring baby fussed a bit and James softly began to sing him a song he remembered from his own childhood, which seemed so distant now, he was surprised he even recalled the words.
“Be still, my sweet one, be still.
Though through the twirling echoed voices we move,
Be still, my darling, sleeping angel, be still.
Even through the moving masses of whirling tempests, ever gaining,
Be still.”
Baby Harry settled softly against him again. James stopped singing and held his son, almost afraid to breathe, as if even that small sound would soil this moment.
Sirius stopped telling his tale as he listened to James singing to his son. It was an old lullaby, vaguely familiar from his youth, also evaporating quickly into the dawning reality of the world twisting out of control. Funny how alarming some songs that were thought acceptable to calming children actually were. Lily gently gripped his arm and smiled lightly, signaling him to continue.
Sirius started again, his words were coming rapidly now, as if he felt the quicker he told his story, the faster he could make sense of the outcome. “James and I got the others’ attention, and we decided to make our move. We figured the longer we waited, the likelier that more Death Eaters would come, so we decided our best hope was to fight, find the object, and get out of there.”
James held his son lightly to his chest. The baby’s contented snoozing and slight movements against him granted James peace of mind, at last. He closed his eyes and soon Lily and Sirius heard the small, faint sound of James’ quiet snoring. They looked at James and his son, sleeping so contentedly together on the big, wooden rocking chair. Lily and Sirius smiled broadly at each other, before he continued.
“I motioned to James and Remus to cover me, while I ran to the shelf where Wood had been reaching when he’d been hit.” Sirius paused for a moment, instinctively running his fingers through his hair as he collected his thoughts. “I had the stone in my hand and was just turning, when a green light went whizzing right beside my head. I dropped to the floor, and the stone fell out of my hand on impact. James came out of nowhere, like a man possessed and started winging out curses left and right. Oh, Lily, he outright killed at least two of them, wounding I don’t know how many others. I frantically felt around for the stone, but Remus grabbed me and we all ran out of there, well all except Wood, of course, and Gilroy, who’d also been killed.”
Lily sat and looked at Sirius. Two dead and the mission had been a failure. James, who had always been unruly and done some things of which he was no longer proud, had never actually killed before. Lily stared silently at him.
Little Harry began to cry loudly, and Sirius took that as his cue to leave. He grabbed Lily and held her close, both of them silent and beyond tears. They held hands and looked deeply into each other’s eyes, neither knowing what would happen next, but both firmly believing in the other. Sirius then quietly left the room.
Lily gingerly walked across the floor and gently took her crying son to her breast, suckling Harry gently as James slowly awoke. When she had finished, she handed her son back to her husband, silently praying to any merciful God who would care to hear her pleading, to grant them the solace of peace.
James accepted his son, looking quizzically at Lily, but not speaking. He held Harry with more authority now, knowing he was not quite as fragile as he had first appeared. James half smiled at the thought, somehow knowing that neither was he.