Adversity is like a strong wind. It tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that we see ourselves as we really are.
~Arthur Golden
“Girls, hurry up or you won’t get breakfast!”
Percy flinched as Audrey’s voice filled the house. Silence greeted her command and Percy started counting the seconds until he would hear Audrey stomping up the stairs to drag the girls out of bed. Finally, he heard Lucy calling back, “But Muuummm, Grandma Weasley will feed us.”
“Your father is already making eggs. Get dressed and get down here!”
Percy shook his head as he tipped the eggs from the skillet onto a plate. Mornings in the Weasley household were either crazy or calm depending on whether or not Audrey had to go into the office for the day. On days when she stayed at home, Percy was usually out of the house before the girls were out of bed. However, when Audrey had to go into the office they had to get the girls up, dressed, and fed before sending them off to their grandparents while both Audrey and Percy got ready for work.
Today was one of those crazy mornings.
It made sense considering crazy was the only the state Percy lived in since the Minister had announced his retirement over a week ago. With every day that passed it seemed like Kingsley was giving him more and more responsibilities. But even with the extra work he now had, Percy was having the time of his life; he lived for all the intricate workings of government life.
Footsteps broke Percy out of his thoughts as Molly entered the kitchen. At least she looked ready to leave, dressed in Muggle clothes with her long hair pulled back into single braid. When she caught her father looking, she gave him an annoyed teenage look that he was sure meant something about her having to get up this early.
While Molly was eating Lucy arrived yawning. “Why’s Mum so grouchy in the mornings?” she asked.
Handing Lucy a plate Percy replied, “Maybe if you got out of bed the first time she called she wouldn’t be.”
Turning back to the stove to clean up the dishes, Percy spotted a tawny owl sitting on the windowsill. Opening the window he grabbed a letter bearing the Hogwarts seal. “Molly, you have mail,” he said as he handed the thick envelope over.
With a quick murmured spell the dishes started washing themselves, and Percy checked to make sure his girls were eating. Molly was finished, but Lucy was looking at him expectantly; her food was sitting untouched on her plate.
No…
His eyes darted back to the window, but the owl was gone and the windowsill was empty.
There was only letter. There should have been two.
“Dad, can you sign my Hogsmeade form?”
Molly’s question barely registered in his brain, it seemed as if it came from another world.
This wasn’t possible. What had he done to deserve this?
Molly frowned at her father who was standing frozen against the sink. Looking at her sister, Percy saw understanding flicker across her face “Where’s Lucy’s letter?” Molly asked.
Percy was silent. He just stared at the window where the owl had come in.
“Dad, where’s Lucy’s letter?”
Silence filled the kitchen until short gasps and sobs came and Percy saw tears running down Lucy’s face. Percy looked at his daughter; he was her father, he should say something, anything. But Percy’s voice was stuck in his throat, his thoughts unable to make sense of what was happening.
Audrey swept into the kitchen ready to send the kids off, but when she froze when she saw the scene before her; Lucy crying, looking at the letter in Molly’s hands, Molly was clutching her letter while looking at her father her eyes demanding an answer, and Percy standing frozen looking at youngest daughter.
“What’s going on?” Audrey asked. “Have the Hogwarts letters arrived?”
Looking at his wife, Percy finally spoke, his voice cracking. “Letter. There was only one letter.”
“Impossible.” Audrey immediately replied.
Lucy was still crying. “I’m a…I’m a…”
“No,” Audrey insisted. “They just haven’t mailed the first-year letters yet.”
“You’re sure?” Lucy asked her eyes full of hope.
Percy turned unable to look his wife in the eye. Audrey was lying because none of them wanted to admit what was happening. But even as Percy admitted that to himself he couldn’t bring himself to speak the truth to his daughter.
What sort of father was he?
Percy barely heard Audrey reassure the girls and send them off through the Floo to the Burrow.
When Audrey reentered the kitchen she collapsed into a chair, her fingers tracing the parchment of Molly’s letter as if it could magically make another appear.
“Lucy said that she’s never done magic,” Percy said, breaking the silence.
“I know, Percy, but…”
“…I didn’t believe her either.”
“We don’t know for sure yet. Maybe…”
“Aubrey, I had six siblings, and we always got our letters on the same day.”
“I don’t believe it,” Audrey whispered.
“Believe it, Audrey,” Percy replied. “Our daughter is a…”
“Don’t say it, Percy!” yelled Audrey as she rose from the table.
What was going on? What was happening to his calm, rational wife? She had always been the one who had been strong. Now it was Percy’s turn to be strong, and all he wanted to do was scream at the world.
An answer, that’s what he needed. All problems have reasonable answers. He just needed to find this one.
The chiming of clock from the other room reminded Percy that he didn’t have time to figure out a solution. “We need to get to work,” he said. “We’re already late.”
Grabbing his briefcase, Percy joined his wife in Apparating to the Ministry. They walked in silence across the Atrium to the lift, which was empty.
Knowing that he should say something, but unable to think of the proper words they rode the elevator like two strangers instead of husband and wife. When the elevator stopped on the fifth floor, Percy grabbed Audrey’s arm as she stepped into the corridor. “I’ll see Harry today and I’ll ask if Lily got her letter and if she has…”
“If she has, let me know.” Audrey stated, pulling her arm from Percy’s grasp. “I will talk to Sprout and see what we can do.”
“Love you,” Percy whispered as the lift doors closed.
When the elevator stopped at the first floor, Percy stepped out and walked quickly into the Ministry Administration office.
“He arrives.” Abednego announced. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this late,” he said jokingly. When Percy didn’t answer, Abednego continued, “Potter wants to meet with you about the Datting case.”
“Give me ten minutes,” Percy snapped as he threw open his office door.
Wait, Lily…
“Abednego, get Potter over here right away.”
“But Boss, you said…”
“Send Potter in as soon as possible,” Percy ordered as slammed his office door shut.
Alone in the solitude of his own office, Percy collapsed into his chair burying his head in his hands. Not wanting to think, to feel, Percy remained like that until he heard a knock at the door.
Sitting up straight, Percy let a mask fall across his features. “Come in,” he called.
When Harry walked into the office Percy stated, “Martin said you wanted to see me.”
“I did,” Harry replied. “I have bad news. Word of Datting’s arrest has reached his associates and they are all staying low. I need the Minister’s permission to try a few things to bring …”
Harry paused in mid-sentence. “Percy is something wrong?”
“What makes you think that?” Percy retorted.
“You’re not taking notes.” Harry reasoned. Gesturing towards the office door, he added, “The rest of the staff appears to walking on dragonshells out there.”
Percy sighed, letting his mask fall away from his face. He had to say something eventually, he had to ask, and he needed to know. Meeting his brother-in-law’s eyes Percy asked, “Did Lily get a letter this morning?”
Surprise flickered across Harry’s face. “Yes,” he answered. “Is that what’s bugging you? It’s normal for girls Lucy’s age to be energetic and excited. Or are you worried about being lonely with the…”
Percy interrupted, “Lucy didn’t get a letter. She’s a Squib. Lucy’s a Squib.”
He couldn’t believe that he had actually managed to admit it, but the expression on Harry’s face surprised him even more. Having worked closely with Harry in reforming the Ministry, Percy had seen him under numerous high pressure situations, but he had never seen his brother-in-law as shocked as he did at that moment. Was that sympathy he saw in Harry’s green eyes?
“Rough,” Harry admitted. “Lily’s so excited, I couldn’t imagine if she haven’t gotten her letter.”
Suddenly, Percy didn’t want to deal with pity and sought to bring this meeting to a close, but deep inside he knew there was someone he wanted to talk to.
“Harry, if you run into Dad can you ask him to come see me?”
“Sure, and Percy, if you need anything let Ginny and me know.”
“Thanks, and leave the information you want Kingsley to see with Martin, he’ll make sure that he gets it.”
As Harry left his office, Percy grabbed an Interdepartmental memo. Picking up his quill, he wrote only four words, “Lily got her letter.”
There was nothing more he could say.
Releasing the memo, Percy watched it fly away, taking with it all hopes that his daughter would ever live a normal life.
It was inconceivable, but there was no doubt; his youngest daughter was a Squib.
What had he done to deserve a Squib daughter? Was this his punishment for walking out on his family all those years ago? Hadn’t Fred’s death been enough?
In a world defined by magic, how would Lucy ever be able to find a place in it?
For a moment Percy considered having Abednego set up a meeting with…
What was her name?
Flipping through a file cabinet he found it; Elizabeth Delani, Head of Squib Services. It was possible that she might have some suggestions for what he could do in this situation.
Wait…
That wouldn’t work. Meeting with Delani would announce to the Wizarding World that Lucy was a Squib. Percy wasn’t sure if he was ready for that to happen.
What would the press do when they found out he fathered a Squib?
He would be disgraced, that’s what. Percy held too high of a position within the Ministry for this to be ignored, and Percy doubted that he would be able to keep his cool if they started writing bad things about his daughter. It wasn’t Lucy’s fault that she was a Squib, but in this day being a Squib meant one was lower than dirt.
If this got out it would ruin both of them.
Hearing the door open, Percy looked up as his father entered the office. It didn’t matter how old a parent got, they still believed they had the right to enter their children’s rooms without knocking.
Arthur Weasley grabbed a chair and sat down next to Percy. “What did Harry tell you?” Percy asked.
“Just that you wanted to see me, but Percy, I spoke with your mother and she says the girls are upset and they won’t tell her why.”
“The Hogwarts letters were mailed this morning.”
“And?”
“Lucy didn’t get one.”
Percy had to hand it his father; he didn’t even blink when Percy told him. Perhaps it was because he was used to being the strong one that he took the news of Lucy being a Squib in stride. From the death of both his brothers-in-law, to raising seven children in poverty, to seeing two of his children disfigured and one dead, Arthur had handled more trials than were asked of most men and Percy respected him for that. Percy just wished he had his father’s courage, because all he wanted to was run as far from the truth as he could.
Placing his hand on Percy’s shoulder, Arthur squeezed it and said, “There’s no trick or spell that one can use at a time like this to make everything better, but there is one thing you can do.”
“What?” Percy hardly dared allowed himself to hope.
“Love her, accept her, and stand by her no matter what happens. You can’t protect her from everything that will happen, but you can love her for who she is.”
“Dad, I’m not as strong as you,” Percy protested. “I don’t think I can do it. All I want to do is pretend that this isn’t happening.”
“Stay strong, Percy.” Arthur commanded. “Lucy’s going to need you, and Molly and Audrey too. You’re my son; you have more strength within you than you think.”
Percy knew that his father’s words should make him feel better, but he couldn’t let them. He was too afraid of what was going to happen. Percy liked things that were ordered, that went by the rules, that happened the way they were supposed too; he was not ready to deal with the reality of his daughter being a Squib.
After his father left, Percy lost himself in his work trying desperately not to think of Lucy. He went through the rest of his day pretending like nothing was wrong. The time came and went for him to go home with Percy still buried behind piles of Ministry documents. Percy kept working until he could no longer reasonably say that he was working late. He had to go home and face his daughter.
For the first time in his life, Percy hated the silence as he walked into his house, he hated the silence that filled every room. He found his daughters in the living room; Molly was reading a book and Lucy… Lucy was sitting by the window, waiting…waiting for a letter that would never come.
Before the girls could see him, Percy walked into another room that had been converted into his and Audrey’s home office. Audrey was sitting at the desk reading a piece of parchment and looked up as he entered. “I spoke to Headmistress Sprout today, and Lucy will not be able to attend Hogwarts,” Audrey said grimly.
Percy nodded; Audrey’s words simply confirmed what they both already knew.
“I’ve been looking into some Muggle schools. I’ve found one where the Deputy Headmaster is a Squib and specializes in helping Squibs adjust to the Muggle world.” Aubrey paused, letting grief flicker across her face. “There’s nothing for Lucy in our world. It’s what’s best.”
It was what was best. If one school wouldn’t accept Lucy they would just have to send her to another one that would best prepare her for the life that she would have to lead. It was part of the reason Percy loved his wife, when she saw a problem she worked tirelessly until she found a solution.
“What else have you found out about this school?” Percy asked.
“I set up an appointment to visit tomorrow afternoon.”
“I’ll see if I can get off work.”
“Percy, you don’t have to come.”
“I want to.”
Audrey nodded and turned her attention back to the parchment in her hands.
“Have you told her yet?” Percy asked nervously. Part of him hoped that she had so he wouldn’t have to tell his daughter, part of hoped that she hadn’t so he could be there when it happened.
Audrey set the parchment down again. “I can’t,” she admitted. “I’m too scared to.”
“Audrey, I stayed at work hours longer than I had to today, because I didn’t want to come home and face the truth. As long I was working I could let myself forget.”
“We’re both cowards than.”
“No,” Percy reasoned, “we’re parents.”
“Stand by me Percy,” pleaded Audrey grabbing his hand and squeezing it tight. “I don’t think I can get through this without you.”
Is this Dad meant about being strong?
Percy placed his other hand on top of his and his wife’s as he promised, “I’ll be right there beside you.”
Audrey let go, wiping tears from her eyes. She stood up and gestured toward the door. “We should go.”
The grieving couple walked slowly into the living room where they sat down on the couch across from their daughters, both trying their hardest to look braver then they felt.
Lucy spoke before anyone else could say anything. “Is my letter coming?” she asked.
Percy and Audrey looked at each other, both of them daring the other to speak. “No, sweetheart,” Percy finally said.
Molly slammed her book shut. “Why not?”
“Because one has to be able to do magic to attend Hogwarts.” Audrey replied kindly.
That’s not fair,” Molly argued. “We don’t even use magic in half of my classes. Why can’t Lucy just attend those?”
“Because…” Percy began but faltered. Molly had a point, at least one that made sense on the surface.
“Because,” continued Audrey, “it’s better to send Lucy to a school where she can take all the classes.”
Lucy was crying. “Why do I have to go to a different school? What did I do wrong?”
Percy’s heart broke; and to think that earlier he had been thinking of how this was unfair to him. Here he was telling his daughter that she couldn’t go to the school she where her sister and all her cousins were, the school that she had been wanting to go to all of her life. All the practical arguments why she couldn’t attend Hogwarts fell short in the presence of his daughter’s tears.
Taking Lucy into his arms, he simply held her as he told her, “It’s not your fault. Things will look better in the morning.”
Lucy hugged him back; she was so trusting, so innocent. How Lucy could believe him when Percy didn’t even believe himself confounded him.
The truth was, Percy couldn’t shake the feeling that things were about to get much worse
Becoming My Father by Gonz
Chapter Notes: Much gratitude goes to Mapoi (Mublood_and_proud_of_it) for her work on this chapter.