The Easter holidays came to a close all too quickly for Lily’s liking, and it was not without some apprehension that she contemplated their return to school. It was not that she didn’t want to go back--quite the opposite. She was uncomfortably aware of the fact that spring had arrived, and with it, the end of their lives as students. Never before had the world outside school grounds seemed quite so real--or so frightening.
But she was excited to go back to school, even for just the small time they had left. Classes were going well, and in Potions especially, Professor Slughorn had promised, with a wink, to teach them some particularly difficult brews. She was even, in a perverse sort of way, looking forward to the challenge of taking NEWTs, a fact which gave Sirius, when she mentioned it to him casually, a look of deep disgust. And so it was a bittersweet afternoon, the last day of break, that they said goodbye to Marlene and the other members of the Order and prepared to Apparate back to school.
–I wish we could just Apparate into the common room,†Sirius grumbled as they stood clustered together in front of the McKinnon’s house.
–Oh, please,†James said, rolling his eyes. –We’re going right outside the grounds. It’s not like it’s a far walk from there.â€
–Yes, but,†Sirius protested, –the whole point of being able to Apparate is so I don’t have to walk anywhere!â€
They all laughed as Sirius folded his arms, looking miffed. –It’s like you think I’m joking,†he muttered.
Remus had opened his mouth to speak, but bit back the words, blushing, as Marlene came running out of the house to give them all an emotional goodbye. Lily watched as Remus hugged her gingerly; despite what James had said, Lily remained far from convinced that there was nothing between those two.
A moment later, however, her attention was diverted by a far more obvious couple: Frank and Alice had emerged from the house, and they appeared to be shyly holding hands. Sirius, who noticed this an instant after Lily did, promptly began catcalling them, and James joined in with a low whistle a moment later. Frank and Alice looked at each other, Alice blushing, before, to the surprise of everyone, Frank had swept Alice backwards and planted a long, dramatic kiss on her lips as all the onlookers cheered.
When they broke apart, Alice’s blush was even deeper than before, and everyone else was laughing. Sirius whooped as he put Peter in a headlock, and even Remus let himself grin. Looking around at all of them--her friends--Lily felt suddenly calmer about the return to Hogwarts. Maybe leaving it won’t be so bad, she thought, if I have a place like this to come home to.
The were returning to Hogwarts in pairs--not, Dumbledore had said, because they expected any danger, but because it was always better to exercise caution, and two attracted far less attention than six. And so it was Peter and Alice who Disapparated first, with Lily and James to go second, and Sirius and Remus bringing up the rear.
They took their time heading back. Alice and Peter had Disapparated with a wave, and Lily and James, instructed to wait ten minutes before following, had joined Sirius, Remus, and Marlene on the Mckinnon’s porch. It was one of the first truly warm spring days, and Marlene leaned her head back against the porch swing she was sitting in, sighing. –I’m a little jealous of you all, actually,†she said, almost sadly.
–For what?†Sirius laughed. –You’re the one out here actually doing things that matter.â€
–Sure,†Marlene said, but you’ll be here too in a few months. And I just miss Hogwarts, you know? It feels like the safest place in the world sometimes.â€
–I think it might be,†Remus said wryly.
–Yeah, most of the month, anyway,†teased Sirius. Remus scowled darkly at him, with a nervous sideways glance at Marlene, but she was paying Sirius no attention.
–Just hold on to it, that’s all,†she was saying to Lily, who was smiling wistfully.
–Oh, I’m trying, trust me,†she said.
–Not as hard as Peter is,†Sirius rolled his eyes. –He’s as nervous as I’ve ever seen him, these days.â€
James grinned. –Oh, you’re nervous, too,†he said to Sirius. –You’re as restless as all of us.â€
–That,†Sirius said loftily, –is just because I’m worried about Moony here. What’s he going to do without a library just down the hallway, I ask you?â€
–Bite me, Black,†Remus said good-naturedly, and they all laughed.
–Oh, hey,†James said, nudging Lily in the side as he checked his watch. –We should get going. It’s been ten minutes already. McGonagall will be waiting for us to check in at the gates.â€
They rose; Marlene stood and hugged them both, holding tightly to Lily as though it would be more than a few months until they saw each other again. Then Sirius came bumbling over with his arms outstretched, crying, –I’m going to miss you all so much!â€
–Shut up,†Lily laughed, pushing him in the chest.
–Get off me, you big oaf,†said James, shouldering his best friend.
–I’m just saying,†Sirius winked. –You might get lost.â€
James shook his head and reached for Lily’s hand. Linked, they stepped off the Mckinnon’s front porch, waved one last time, and turned together into the air.
They landed so hard that Lily stumbled forward, her hand breaking from James’s. They were, it seemed, in the Forbidden Forest, but not near the gates of the school where they should have been. Lily turned hesitantly towards James, who had been, for all intents and purposes, steering, not wanting to be the first to speak. He, however, looked sheepish.
–Did we overshoot a bit?†she asked, trying not to smile.
–No!†James said hotly. Then, when she looked at him, he added grudgingly, –We undershot a bit.â€
Lily laughed out loud and walked over to pat his arm sympathetically.
–It’s hard when you’re going to a place that you can’t Apparate to!†James said emphatically. –You don’t want to go too far and bounce off, it’s very precise…â€
–Don’t worry,†Lily rolled her eyes. –I won’t tell Sirius. But the real question is, how do we find our way back?â€
James looked at her, highly offended. –We’re only about a fifteen minute walk from where we need to be,†he said.
Lily raised an eyebrow. –You sure?†she asked.
–Of course I am,†James scoffed. –I know my way around these woods, after all. We’ve been all through them!â€
–All right, all right,†Lily said, laughing again.
–Fifteen minutes. That way,†he said, pointing, and then grinned. –As the deer runs, anyway.â€
–Cute,†she told him as they started walking.
He wrinkled his nose at her. –I know,†he said. –I just hope we get back before too long, so they don’t worry about us, otherwise I’ll never hear the end of--â€
–Wait,†Lily interrupted suddenly, holding up her hand to hush hi. She stood still, her head slightly cocked, listening. The trees, just barely blooming in the early spring, waved softly in the wind, light dappling through.
–What is it?†James asked in a whisper, taking a cautious step towards her.
–I thought I heard something,†Lily said softly, reaching towards her pocket for her wand.
–It is a forest,†James said mildly. –There do tend to be noises--â€
A very audible crack came from their left; both of them whirled, Lily’s fingers closing around her wand, and then a jolt of red light sped past her face and James crumpled at her side.
Bewildered she half-turned, wanting to run to him but with every instinct screaming at her not to turn her back. And then in her periphery vision she saw a black-robed figure move, face obscured by a mask, wand outstretched. She tightened her grip on her own wand, but his mouth had moved--she did not hear the words, there was a roaring in her head--and a stream of red light came rocketing towards her. It didn’t feel like anything, but all of a sudden the trees, still swaying, were falling away from her, her vision was blurring at the edges, and no, she realized, not the trees, it’s me, I’m falling, I’m--
---
James woke slowly, aware first of rough stone cool against his face. Then it was as though the noise in the room increased by degrees, a low buzz, like a badly tuned radio. Clouded and confused, he opened his eyes.
Beside him, Lily was stirring groggily, shaking her head. James frowned, trying to remember what had happened--he remembered Apparating, the forest, Lily hearing something…
With a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach, he raised his head to take in their surroundings.
They were almost entirely surrounded by a circle of masked figures, all in black robes. It was from they that the soft noise in the room came; they were murmuring to each other so quietly that James could not make out words, just the ominous trickle of sound. Directly in front of him, there was a break in the circle, where a large stone chair stood.
He didn’t want to look at it, not directly. He wasn’t sure where the aversion came from, only that he did not want to see what was sitting in that chair.
A cursory check revealed, unsurprisingly, that his wand was gone, Lily’s as well. They locked eyes once, and then, in unspoken agreement, rose to stand shoulder-to-shoulder.
The man in the chair was thin, and even seated seemed tall. There was something inhuman about the red glint in his eye and the flatness of his face, and something slyly dangerous about the loose way his hands rested on his wand. The wand itself, unusually long, was laid across his knees.
James had never seen Voldemort before, but there was no doubt in his mind that that was who sat before them now. There was a kind of power radiating form him, something dark, strong enough to bring these Death Eaters to heel. James felt Lily’s elbow pressing into his side. She was trembling, and he felt fear rise in the back of his own throat.
He didn’t like being afraid.
Feeling himself planting his feet a little more firmly and widening his stance, James jutted his jaw forward obstinately. And willing himself not to blink, he focused his eyes on the figure before them.
–Hi,†he said lightly, almost pleasantly. –Lovely day, isn’t it? Bit cold in here for my taste, but I’ve always preferred windows.†He made a show of looking around the room. The owner of the house was undoubtedly wealthy--the stone walls were ornately carved, the ceiling and light fixtures finely wrought--but it was frigid and hard, and much like a dungeon despite its price.
James had unnerved the Death Eaters, he noted with a grim satisfaction--they were muttering to each other, shifting uncomfortably, although the man in the chair remained still. Challenged, James addressed him directly. –I don’t believe we’ve been introduced.â€
Lily’s fingers dug almost painfully into his arm as the man rose from his chair and walked slowly and deliberately towards them.
–Perhaps we haven’t been,†he said, and his voice was as sleep and deadly as the rest of him. –But you know who I am.â€
Inches away from Lord Voldemort, all James’s careless confidence died in his throat.
–I will admit,†Voldemort continued, –you have not been easy to contact. Dumbledore has certainly kept you close.â€
–And you wanted to contact us why?†James asked. The question, meant to sound defiant, came out somewhat quieter than he had meant it to.
Voldemort leveled his gaze at James, who had to force himself not to look away. –I’m building an army, Mr. Potter,†he said, and never before had James so hated the sound of his own name. –I want talent on my side, as well as determination, and certain sources within Hogwarts have informed me that this includes the two of you. Disappointing as it may be that you were not Sorted into Slytherin, you still possess certain qualities that I would very much like on my side, and your pedigree in particular, Mr. Potter, is impressive.â€
–Then why me?†Lily challenged, and looking at her, James almost grinned--there was a tightness in her mouth that he had seen many times in their early years at Hogwarts. But never, even in their fifth year, when things had been the most tense between them, had her eyes been that like flint when she looked at him. –Why me?†she continued. –I’m not a pure-blood, like James. I’m not even a half-blood. I’m as Muggle-born as they come, and I wasn’t under the impression that you wanted Mudbloods on your side.â€
Voldemort turned his calculating gaze towards her, and she did not flinch. –Purity of blood is not inconsequential,†he said smoothly, –but in certain outstanding cases, I am willing to make an exception. And from what I’ve heard, Miss Evans, you could be quiet influential, and your skills, both as a Potions-maker and as a leader are things that I could use. I was also lead to believe that the two of you function as a unit, and I stood a better chance of persuading both of you than just one.â€
James raised an eyebrow, and from the look on Lily’s face, knew he was not alone in wondering exactly who this source was.
When Voldemort spoke again, he spoke to them both, his voice low and fervent, and James could almost understand how he had persuaded the mass of Death Eaters at their backs to follow him. –I could offer you far more than Dumbledore can,†he said. –Power in a great new world. Dumbledore, and those who follow him, they all are fighting a losing battle. He, foolish old man that he is, defends a world that doesn’t want to be defended, and a people that would rather spend their lives in hiding than seize their rightful place in the world. With me, you can become far more than defenders of a meager existence. You can be among those who shape the world into something greater.â€
The man knew how to argue, James could give him that. But all it took was one sideways glance at Lily--and it was less than that, even, just the brush of her shoulder to his, the steady rise and fall of her breath as she pressed into his side--to tell him that she was no more convinced than he was. And so it was with complete confidence and unity that James looked straight into the eyes of the Dark wizard before them and asked, –And if we say no?â€
–That,†Voldemort said slowly, –would be unfortunate. Bellatrix?â€
The first thing James noticed about the woman who appeared behind Voldemort was the striking resemblance she bore to Sirius--the same dark coloring, the same refined bone structure, but there was a dark glint in her eyes that he had never seen in Sirius, a strange, deep joy as she looked at Voldemort that frightened James more than anything yet. And then she raised her wand, pointed out them, and said sweetly, as though savoring the world on her tongue, –Crucio!â€
Wandless, and with no time to react, James could only brace himself, but the pain didn’t come. He blinked in confusion as, suddenly, Lily fell away from him, and it was she who screamed, her knees drawn up to her chest, her body convulsing.
–No!†James shouted, darting forward, towards Lily or Bellatrix he did not know, but three Death Eaters had suddenly appeared behind him, grabbing him by the arms and around the middle. Voldemort lifted a hand; Bellatrix raised her wand, and Lily lay still on the floor. James hung limply against the Death Eaters, who did not loosen their hold.
–The choice,†Voldemort said, –is yours.â€
From the floor, Lily lifted her head. Her hair had come loose during Bellatrix’s ministrations, and her eyes blazed as she pushed herself gingerly to her feet.
–Is that all you’ve got?†she asked, her voice level, and a fierce pride warred with fear in James’s heart as he looked at her. And then Bellatrix raised her wand again, and Lily fell first to her knees, then to the floor, fighting, and James was a wild thing again, straining desperately against the Death Eaters that were holding him with all their strength. And Bellatrix--James did not know how he had ever thought she resembled Sirius, because there was a furious, dark glee in her eyes as Lily thrashed on the floor below her, and still she did not lift her wand…
James looked away from her, his gaze locked desperately on Lily. She was fighting, he could tell, but with no respite, one long, high scream escaped her. Anguished, James ripped out at his captors, managing to get a hand free and hit one full across the face, but the other two were there, tightening their grips. Dispassionately, out of the corner of his high, he saw one Death Eater shudder slightly beneath his mask, waver, and then disappear from the circle. The rest of the Death Eaters, watching Bellatrix and Lily before them, paid him no mind, but James, in some back place of his mind, thought with scorn, Can’t even watch your own dirty work, you cowards--
But then Lily screamed again, and he was drawn instantly and entirely back to her, helpless and terrified once more.
---
This pain was a new kind of animal.
Lily had never felt anything like it--it was as though some beast had crawled inside her, tearing with claws and teeth as it went. It did not stop--the curse went on and on, and Lily clenched her jaw against it, trying to clamp down on the scream that threatened to explode from her. In some small, yet-untouched part of her brain, she wondered dully how the pain stayed so constant without becoming tedious. Because it kept coming, wave after fresh wave, but it never stopped hurting--
Something strange was happening to her vision. It was blurring at the edges, bright light flickering in her periphery. She was dimly aware of James shouting, fighting ferociously to get to her as more and more Death Eaters came to push against him. Then her eyes focused on one Death Eater, standing a few yards from the others, one hand loosely closed around three wands. She did not know if it was wholly real, but it was something to hold on to, something to concentrate on as the intensifying pain wracked her body.
There was a noise from behind her, a loud bang, and the Death Eaters surrounding James scattered. And suddenly, as quickly as it had come, the pain was gone, and it was like breathing. Stunned for a moment, she could only clutch at the rough stone beneath her, gasping. Then she leaned over and spat a mouthful of blood onto the stone--she must’ve bitten the side of her mouth during Bellatrix’s torture--before slowly, painstakingly hauling herself to her feet.
The world was in chaos around her. She didn’t understand what was happening--for one bizarre moment, she thought she saw Sirius flash past her, towards James. But she dismissed it, gritting her teeth and focusing single-mindedly on the Death Eater who still stood holding their wands.
She ran towards him, skidding to a halt as he turned towards her. He was masked, like the rest of them, but she could still see his eyes narrow. He separated his wand from hers and James’s, a slow smile creeping onto his face as he pointed it at her. Panting and unarmed, she hesitated for a breath, and then did the only thing she could think of: curled her hand into a fist, and slammed it into his face.
Her knuckles smashed into his cheekbone, just below the mask. Pain shot up her arm, making her wonder if she’d hurt herself instead of him, but then, whether in surprise or in pain, he reeled backwards, his grip on the wands going slack, and Lily grabbed them and darted away.
The Death Eaters around her were locked in combat. She squinted, trying to see who was fighting, to understand what was going on, when she barreled straight into James.
He grabbed her by the shoulders, eyes wise with worry. –Lily,†he breathed, –Merlin, Lily, are you--â€
–I’m fine,†she told him. –I will be. But there’s no time now, we’ve got to get out of here.†Earnestly, she pressed his wand into his hand.
A moment later, Sirius appeared in front of them, tousled and grinning. Lily blinked in confusion--so she had seen him earlier--but before she could say anything, he said, quite cheerfully, –Duck!â€
The did; pointing his wander over their heads, Sirius sang, –Stupefy!†and the Death Eater behind them dropped.
Smirking with satisfaction, Sirius lowered his arm and looked at them. –Nice punch,†he told Lily. –I saw that from back there.â€
–You punched someone?†James asked, but Sirius waved a hand at him.
–Later,†he said. –We have to go. Dumbledore just said we were supposed find you two and run--â€
–Dumbledore’s here?†Lily asked, astonished, trying not to wince as she struggled to keep up with them. James noticed, and, concerned, slowed down to keep pace with her, but she shook her head. Keep moving, she mouthed.
–Of course Dumbledore’s here, you think we just showed up on our own?†Sirius asked.
–Who’s we?†James asked. –And, for that matter, how did you know how to get here?â€
As if summoned, Remus appeared on Sirius’s other side. –Ask questions later,†he said, smiling wearily at James. Turning to Sirius, he said, –Marlene’s out, Gideon and Fabian are working their way out. McGonagall’s covering us, so we’ve got to get out of here fast.â€
–Where’s Dumbledore?†Sirius asked.
Remus looked quickly over his shoulder. –Fighting Voldemort,†he said grimly, and Sirius sucked in his breath.
–Is he--†Lily started, looking around.
–He can handle himself,†Remus assured her. –But we have to hurry, we shouldn’t stay here longer than we need.â€
–Someone better explain to me what’s going on once we’re out,†James grumbled, nimbly dodging a curse.
–Yeah, yeah,†Sirius said. –Hold on to your--â€
He was cut off abruptly as a jet of light slammed into his chest. He went down to one knee, breathing heavily, no longer smiling as the Death Eater who had attacked him approached slowly. Sirius struggled to his feet, crouched low, his wand out. To Lily’s left, Frank Longbottom was dueling Bellatrix, his face shining with the effort. Looking worried, Remus cast a desperate glance at Sirius, who appeared unhurt, and then broke away to help Frank.
James had his own wand out now, eyeing the tawny-haired wizard in front of them. Lily frowned--even with the mask, there was something familiar about him. Sirius appeared to be thinking along the same lines. –Expelliarmus!†he cried without warning, whipping his wand up quicker than Lily could have imagined.
The Death Eater managed, just barely, to hold onto his own wand, but his mask went flying. He whirled to retrieve it, but missed, and when he turned again, they were looking into the deep blue eyes of Michael Kingsbury.
Startled, Sirius blinked. Confused, he lowered his wand, and Michael, with a savagery that Lily never expected, lunged forward, growling, –Sectumsempra!â€
Recognizing the curse and horrified--she had never expected to hear it again--Lily slammed into Sirius’s side, pushing him out of the way as the spell rushed by them. It barely grazed her, but still it laid the side of her arm open. She yelped reflexively, although the pain was nothing compared to the earlier Cruciatus Curse. But a moment later James had roared –Stupefy!†with such a fury that Michael was blasted off his feet and thrown clear across the room, unconscious.
Lily and Sirius both blinked at him, Lily holding her bleeding arm with one hand.
–Well,†said Sirius, –now that that’s taken care of, let’s get the hell out of here.â€
They turned and ran for the door, Remus and Frank falling into step beside them as they went. Remus had a gash on his forehead that was bleeding heavily into his eye, and Frank was nursing a tender shoulder.
–Bellatrix?†asked Sirius, almost spitting the name.
Remus shook his head.
–She’s tough,†Frank huffed. –We only just got away from her.â€
The reached the door just as Professor McGonagall appeared beside it. –Out the door,†she told them in a low voice, though briskly and as collected as ever, while shooting a curse over Sirius’s head. –The Apparation restrictions on Hogwarts have been lifted from the Headmaster’s office only. They will not remain so for long, so I suggest you hurry. Down the end of this hall. You may Disapparate from there.â€
–I won’t be going with you,†Frank said, looking harried, although he gave them all a wink. –My best.†And he hurried away, Disapparating at the end of the hallway.
Sirius and Remus followed quickly after him, although Lily paused, looking over her shoulder. In the center of the room--she couldn’t imagine how she’d missed it before--Dumbledore was battling Voldemort.
She had thought Voldemort, despite everything, intimidating and impressive before, but he paled in comparison to Dumbledore. There was a hardness and a focus to the Headmaster she had never seen before, as he wove magic she did not know with his wand. A shower of golden light fell on Voldemort, who hissed, drawing away.
–Go,†McGonagall urged them. James, a few feet ahead of Lily, had stopped to wait for her. –Don’t worry about the Headmaster. We will follow you shortly. But go.â€
Lily spared one last look at Dumbledore, and then turned on her heel without another word, to follow James down the darkening hallway and to twist into nothingness.
Stars Apart by Willow Rosenberg
Chapter Notes: OH MY GOODNESS EVERYONE. So my hard drive crashed. And, because I am dumb, I backed up nothing, which means that I lost everything on this story that wasn't online. So I've been in rewrites, which is not quite as fun as it sounds, which is why this has taken so long to update. So, my sincerest apologies for that. And public service announcement: if you have not backed up your computer recently, DO IT! DO IT RIGHT NOW!!! TRUST ME!!! Okay. Back to this. Enjoy, and again, super sorry for the wait!!-----------------------------------------------