When Lily walked into her dormitory one evening, she had the distinct impression that Leda and Mary were talking about her. The two of them were sitting together on Leda’s bed, looking very serious, and when Lily pushed open the door, they hushed immediately and blinked owlishly over at her.
“Oh, hi, Lily!” Mary said in a falsely bright voice, while Leda gazed out the window.
“Hey,” Lily said slowly, looking back and forth between the two of them. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing much,” Mary said in the same overly-cheerful voice. Leda said something in an undertone, and Mary turned to whisper back to her. Feeling slightly uncomfortable, Lily swung her bag onto her own four-poster bed and began sorting through her books.
Potions essay, she thought, running through her mental list of homework assignments. Charms practice, and, oh, where are my Transfiguration notes… In the back of her mind, Lily was uncomfortably aware of how behind she’d gotten on her homework. She’d been planning on taking it to the common room with her, but she had attempted that for the past few nights, and James and Sirius had always managed to distract her in some way or another. I should really just go to the library, she sighed inwardly, or try to do it up here.
It was as she thought this, however, that she became aware of Mary and Leda’s stream of whispered conversation behind her. She wasn’t trying to eavesdrop”not really”but she couldn’t help overhearing a little bit of what they were saying as she aimlessly shuffled her books around.
“It was so sweet!” Leda was saying excitedly. “I totally thought he was going to…but then I guess he got shy or something.”
“He knows how to be shy?” Mary hissed back. “I had no idea!”
The two of them had lapsed into giggles when Leda looked up suddenly, and Lily did not drop her gaze quickly enough. Silence fell in the room, awkwardly and suddenly. Right, she thought. Library then.
Soundlessly, she shoved a few books back in her bag at random, and turned to leave the room. As the door closed behind her, she heard Leda and Mary erupt into laughter once more.
Lily felt guilty the second she stepped through the library doors. I used to practically live here, she thought, gazing around at all the books. But I’ve only been in a handful of times this year.
Worth it, a smaller part of her brain whispered, but she ignored it, instead dumping her bag onto an empty table and pulling out her Potions essay.
She was halfway through the essay when she heard a soft voice say, “Hey, Lily. Mind if I join you?”
Surprised, Lily looked up, the end of her quill in her mouth, and saw diminutive, round-faced Alice Rourke standing in front of her.
“Not at all,” said Lily, spitting out the tip of her quill and shuffling her parchment, clearing a space for the Hufflepuff prefect.
Alice smiled shyly at her and sat down. “Are you working on the Potions essay?” she asked, and Lily nodded glumly.
“It’s tough going,” she said. “Professor Slughorn is taking our N.E.W.T. year very seriously.”
“I know,” Alice sighed. “I’ve barely started it yet. I tried in our common room earlier, but I got so turned around, and the only other Hufflepuff seventh-year in N.E.W.T. Potions is Isaac Smith, and, well, you know what he’s like.”
Lily, who had had her own experiences with the arrogant Smith the previous year, grimaced in sympathy. “I’ve made a decent dent in my essay,” she told Alice. “I can probably give you a hand.”
Alice looked at her in relief. “Oh, that would be wonderful,” she said. “Potions really isn’t my best subject, I still can’t believe I managed to get the E in our O.W.L.s. I wouldn’t even be taking it if I didn’t want to be an Auror.”
Lily looked over at her in surprise. “You want to be an Auror?”
“Oh, yes,” Alice said. “I have for awhile now. Especially, you know, considering how it’s getting out there…”
“What do you mean?” Lily asked, feeling suddenly ashamed about her lack of knowledge in the ouside world. “I mean, I get the Daily Prophet and all, but it doesn’t say much…just mentions a few odd disappearances every now and then…”
Alice nodded. “A lot of what I hear isn’t from the Prophet. They’ve never been the most…well, you know, reliable when it comes to things like that. But I’ve been writing to Frank, and he lets things slip every now and again.”
“Frank Longbottom?” Lily said curiously, looking up at Alice. “I didn’t realize you knew Frank.”
Alice, to her amusement, blushed. “Well I didn’t really, when we were both at Hogwarts. But after he graduated last year he went on to study becoming an Auror, and he was the only one accepted, and I sent him a letter asking for advice, since it’s what I want to do, and, well, we’ve been writing pretty regularly ever since.”
Lily grinned. “Yeah, I could’ve guessed Frank would do the Auror thing,” she said. “He and Marlene Mckinnon were always the best their year at Defense Against the Dark Arts.”
Alice was silent for a moment. “They were Head Boy and Girl, too, weren’t they?” she asked finally, and Lily nodded. “It’s funny,” Alice continued. “That makes this the second year in a row when the Head Boy and Girl are both Gryffindors…and both a couple.”
“Oh, Frank and Marlene never dated,” Lily said absently, scratching out a sentence in her Potions essay. “They were just friends, and”” she suddenly registered what Alice had said, and overturned her inkbottle in surprise. “And James and I aren’t a couple!”
Alice, who looked momentarily startled by this outburst, laughed. “I’m sorry!” she said, grinning. “I just kind of assumed…I mean, you are always together.”
“We are not,” Lily said primly, siphoning the ink off the table with her wand. “And we aren’t, you know…together.”
“Okay,” Alice said dubiously, shrugging. “It’s just what people are saying.”
Hearing this, Lily felt a sharp twinge of annoyance”not at Alice, but at the entire gossip chain of Hogwarts in general. She had a sudden, desperate pang of longing for Marlene; the older girl had, of course, commented on Lily’s burgeoning relationship with the boy she had once claimed to detest, but she hadn’t ever felt the need to try and tell Lily what to do. And she hadn’t ever done the kind of behind-her-back whispering that Mary and Leda had done earlier.
Lily remembered, quite suddenly, how both Sirius and Remus had, in their own ways, encouraged her to get a move on with James, and how everyone they interacted with”and some people they didn’t”seemed to think it was inevitable that they would get together.
Really, Lily thought irritably, the only person who had any right to say anything on the subject was James himself, and he was the only one who hadn’t breathed a word.
---
“So what are we going to do tonight?”
James, who was dragging a piece of string along the ground while Jinx chased it, looked up perplexedly at Sirius’s question. “What do you mean, what are we going to do tonight?” he asked laughingly.
“It’s full moon!” Peter chirped from where he was sprawled across his four-poster. “We’re doing what we always do on the full moon.”
“What, the forest again?” Sirius scoffed. “I’m so tired of just chasing the werewolf through the forest. We always do that. I know every single inch of that forest.”
“Well, would you rather explore the lake?” James asked dryly, twitching his string away from Jinx. The tiny cat crouched, her tail twitching.
“Nah,” Sirius said casually, stretching his arms up over his head. “I was thinking we should check out Hogsmeade instead.”
“No way,” James said flatly, and Peter looked nervously between the two of them.
Sirius, surprised, raised an eyebrow. “Why not?” he asked, almost petulantly. “We’ve done it before.”
“I know,” James said seriously. “And the last time, Moony almost gave us the slip. What if that happens again? He could bite someone, and you know he’d never be able to live with himself if he did that. We didn’t even get a chance to talk to him this week before he went to the Shack.”
Sirius threw him a look that James couldn’t quite interpret. “Wow,” he said after a long pause. “When did you grow up so much, Prongs? You’re practically middle-aged.”
James, not sure if he was being insulted, said nothing. After a moment, Sirius shrugged and added, “It must be that Head Boy badge getting to you. I guess it’s the forest again, then.”
There was another tense moment. Then Peter, apparently unable to bear it, jumped to his feet and said “Well, I’m going to go see Professor Flitwick about my last Charms essay.” And he darted from the room before either James or Sirius could say anything.
Sirius flopped onto his bed, his back towards James, but James found he was unable to keep his mind on his best friend’s sulking. For what seemed like the hundredth time that week, his thoughts strayed to Lily Evans”to every single little moment they had had together since the start of term, and to how, despite that, he seemed to be no closer to going on an actual date with her than ever before.
It frustrated him; James was not used to unsolvable problems. His tended to be more fixable”Gryffindor down by ten? Get control of the Quaffle. Remus is a werewolf? Become an Animagus. Peter fretting ridiculously about something silly? Hit him on the head and move on. But Lily…Lily was something that he couldn’t figure out or control. And maybe that was why he liked her as much as he did, but it sure didn’t make things any easier.
Hesitantly, James looked up at Sirius’s turned back. He held his piece of string still a minute too long, and Jinx, seizing the opportunity, leapt on it, stealing it from his unresisting hand and dragging it triumphantly away.
James watched this with some amusement for a moment before glancing back up. “Hey, Padfoot?” he said cautiously, and Sirius, perhaps sensing by his voice that this was not a continuation of their earlier spat but something more serious, rolled over.
“What’s up?” he asked.
James bit his lip, dropping his gaze to his knees for a long minute before saying, finally, “I think I’m losing her.”
“Who, Lily?” Sirius asked, and James was aware of Sirius slipping off of his four-poster to join him on the ground.
“Yeah,” James said, shrugging. “I don’t know, this year just…isn’t going the way I thought it would.”
“So, then,” Sirius asked, “what are you going to do about it?”
And this, James thought a little wryly, was why Sirius Black was his best friend. He loved Remus and Peter like brothers, to the point of knowing that he would, if he had to, die for them, but at times like these, it was Sirius who knew him best. If he’d tried to have this conversation with anyone else…well, Peter would have commiserated and Remus would have given him encouraging advice, but only Sirius would make him try to find a solution.
“Wait around for her to come to terms with the fact that I am, actually, a prime specimen of masculinity and succumb to her raging desire for me?” James asked hopefully.
Sirius considered this for a second. “Yep,” he said finally. “That should do it.”
“Good,” James grinned. “As long as I don’t have to strain myself.”
“Can’t remember the last time you did that,” Sirius yawned, eyeing him. “But truthfully, Prongsy?”
“Yes,” James said without hesitation. “Truthfully.”
“You have to say something.”
“I was afraid of that,” James sighed. “But…come on, I made the move last time! This one is on her.”
Sirius laughed wryly. “Yeah, well, for whatever reason, she’s holding her breath. So you could either sit on your ass for another seven years and hope that changes…or you could remind her.” He paused, and looked out the window, where the sun was steadily setting. “Not tonight, though, it’s almost moonrise.”
James sighed. “You’re right,” he said. “I know you’re right. I’m just…”
“Scared?” Sirius supplied. James threw him a look.
“I was going to go with nervous,” he said. “Maybe. A little bit.”
Sirius’s wolfish grin broadened. “You’re terrified. Drop. Dead. Petrified.”
“Anxious!” James protested. “Mildly!”
“Whatever, Prongs,” Sirius smirked, flopping onto his back, before murmuring under his breath, “Fraaaaidy-cat.”
James, in retaliation, scooped up Jinx, who was still playing with the string, and dumped her, claws and all, on Sirius’s chest.
“What kind of cat?” he asked smugly as Sirius yelped.
---
That evening, after dark, Lily made her way back to the common room alone. She was relieved to find it empty”especially since she was unwilling to go back to her dorm, unsure if Mary and Leda were still awake and gossiping. Mentally preparing herself, she sunk into an armchair by the fire, suddenly exhausted.
She wasn’t sure how long she had been sitting there when she noticed something moving near her hand, where it rested on the arm of the chair. Slowly, she tipped her head forward, gazing down at the small brown rat who stood by her hand, his tail twitching as he blinked back up at her.
For a moment, she didn’t move. Then, slowly, she looked around the room, making sure she was alone, before she leaned forward, and, feeling rather foolish, whispered, “Peter? Is that you?”
A loud burst of laughter behind her made her leap to her feet, thoroughly startled. In the middle of the common room, James and Sirius pulled off the Invisibility Cloak, seemingly appearing in midair. Lily swatted at them. “Not funny!” she said emphatically. “I almost had a heart attack.”
“Sorry, Lily,” James said, still chuckling.
“We couldn’t resist,” Sirius added. “I’ve been wanting to do that to someone forever, but no one’s ever known…”
“Well thank you,” Lily said dryly, “for choosing me. Now get out of here. Don’t you have a werewolf to go chase around or something?”
“Absolutely,” James said. “Come on, Wormtail!” And the rat scampered up the back of Lily’s chair and onto Sirius’s shoulder.
James made a face. “He always likes you better when he’s a rat,” he said to Sirius.
“Animal magnetism,” Sirius told him.
“Oh, get out of here,” Lily said, picking up her bag. “It’s past my bedtime anyway.”
She waved them away, heading up the stairs and laughing silently to herself”it was amazing, she thought, how they got away with so much without anyone noticing. It was this thought that had her preoccupied as she slid into her dark dormitory, silently getting ready for bed, and, perhaps, why she didn’t realize that, even though Mary and Amelia were sound asleep, Leda’s four-poster was empty.
---
“I’m really glad your Animagus form is so small, Wormtail,” Sirius said as they walked out onto the grounds, still tucked beneath the cloak. “I mean, James and I can barely fit beneath this thing ourselves anymore, at least you can get so small that you don’t take up much room at a”ow! What was that for?”
“Shut up!” hissed James, who had just hit him in the side.
“Why?” Sirius asked irritably at a normal volume.
“Just do it,” James whispered, and Sirius, about to argue, clamped his mouth shut as he saw a figure walking towards them.
“Who is that?” Sirius muttered, annoyed. “Who’s out here this late?”
“You mean, besides us?” James murmured, making sure the cloak covered their feet. He squinted into the darkness. “Is that…I think it’s Leda.”
Sirius groaned loudly, earning himself another elbow in the ribs. “What is she doing out here?” he moaned.
“I don’t know,” said James testily, “but we better get her out of here.”
“We can’t just hide until she goes away?” asked Sirius petulantly.
“Yeah,” James said, “if you want to hide all night in the Shrieking Shack with a restless werewolf.”
“Good point,” Sirius sighed. “You want to go or should I?”
“I’ll do it,” James said, rolling his eyes. “You’ll kill her.”
“Good point,” Sirius said again as James ducked out from under the cloak.
Reluctantly, James jogged towards Leda, who turned to face him, squinting through the gloom.
“Merlin, James, you scared me!” she said, a hand over her chest.
“What are you doing out here, Leda?” he asked her bluntly, getting to the point.
Leda shrugged. “Oh, I don’t know,” she said a little coyly. “I was just…up for an adventure. I figured you’d be game.”
James considered this. True. He usually was up for any kind of an adventure. But”“How did you know we’d be out here?” he asked.
“Oh, that,” Leda said, laughing her tinkly little laugh. “I ran into Peter earlier near Professor Flitwick’s office, and he mentioned something about you being on the grounds tonight. He wouldn’t give me specifics, but it sounded exciting.”
A few yards away, under the Invisibility Cloak, Sirius turned to glare at Peter, who had turned back into himself. “Sorry,” Peter murmured. “I forgot about that.”
“There’s just some information you keep to yourself, Wormtail,” Sirius said out of the corner of his mouth, “no matter how much you want to impress the girl.”
“Yeah,” Peter sighed mournfully. “I know. But she said she hadn’t seen you or James around much””
“”because we hide from her””
“”and she wanted to know what we’d been up to lately! And I said not much but we’d be heading out tonight, and then I remembered that that’s a secret and I ran away.”
Sirius snorted. “Nice. Very sophisticated.”
“Oh, whatever,” Peter groused back, careful to keep his voice low. “I didn’t”hey. Is she…flirting with him?”
Sirius glanced up. Leda had just playfully run her fingers down James’s arm.
“Nah,” Sirius said. “She’s not.” When Peter just looked at him solemnly, he amended, “Okay, well, maybe a little, but he’s not having it, look!”
And James had, indeed, just taken a step back, looking vaguely annoyed.
“He’s not having any luck,” Peter commented.
“I’d say he’s having too much,” Sirius said.
Peter coughed.
“Sorry,” Sirius said grudgingly. “But you’re right. He needs help from the pros. Okay. Here’s what we’re going to do…”
James, standing with Leda, was getting frustrated”she just wouldn’t leave. He glanced nervously at the moon before looking back at her and saying, “Maybe we should, ah, save this adventure thing for another night, you know…”
“Why?” Leda asked teasingly. “You don’t seem to have much company right now,”
James winced imperceptibly. “Yeah,” he said, “about that…”
But he was interrupted by a loud growl. Leda jumped, reaching out and grabbing a handful of his robes reflexively as a large black dog appeared out of the night.
“Ugh!” she said. “It’s that dog again, it’s so creepy. Can’t Hagrid keep control of his pets?”
“Hagrid doesn’t have a dog,” James said vaguely. “Look, you go inside, I’ll chase it off.”
“You’re sure?” Leda asked, and James nodded. “Well, hurry in,” Leda sniffed. “I’ll be worried sick until I know you’re okay.”
She hesitated, but the dog started barking loudly, and she backed up a few steps before turning and darting into the castle. James started to grin at the dog, but jumped as the Invisibility Cloak was thrown suddenly over his head.
“Oh,” he said, startled. “Hi, Peter.”
“Hi,” Peter said, making sure they were fully hidden.
“Good job,” said James. “I think Sirius really enjoyed that.”
Sirius, who had stopped barking shortly after Leda had reentered the castle, looked over his shoulder.
“We’re over here!” Peter whispered, and Sirius, nose in the air, trotted towards them, his tail wagging.
“Come on,” James said, pulling the cloak off and stuffing it in his pocket. “Let’s go before she comes back.”
Sirius yipped happily.