"Am I alone in your heart?
Have I a hope with your heart?
She's such a teaser, she's such a star.
Give me a reason or give me a chance.
Doing all I can do just to be close to you.
Every time that we meet I skip a heartbeat.
Always up for a laugh, she's a pain in the arse.
Every time that we meet I skip a heartbeat."
-Heartbeat (Scouting For Girls)
Hermione Granger, it transpired, was much less of a freak than Dudley had anticipated.
Knowing that she was a friend of his cousin's a one of that lot, what Dudley had expected was a pointed hat and a green face short of the villainess from The Wizard Of Oz. Instead, Hermione-whose name he had finally gotten fixed in his mind-was disarmingly normal and soberly dressed in bluejeans and a white sweater.
Of course, that was only on the surface. Having spoken to her on the phone about "magical creatures" (the mere thought caused him to shudder), Dudley knew beyond a doubt that she was a witch.
And she had invited herself right into his house.
"Good morning, Mr. Dursley," she had called across the room, letting herself in and closing the door behind her. "It's a pleasure to meet you. I'm a friend of Dudley's from elementary school. I had not seen him in ever so long, and I was paying my father a visit in town-he owns a company that sells cars, mostly Mercedes-and decided to look him up. I hope I'm not interrupting anything?"
Dudley had not had it in him to protest. He had been too busy wondering how Hermione had known that the way to gain his father's approval was to speak of expensive cars. For his part, Vernon seemed both too preoccupied with readying himself for work, and too shaken from Dudley's recent mention of Harry, to take notice of the early time of day or Hermione's rather unruly hair.
Now they were in the sitting room. Dudley was pretending to be preparing his things for the work day in order to keep up appearances, and Hermione was speaking in a rapid, quiet voice.
"I know it must be quite a shock to have me come here unannounced, but I had to discuss something with you, and I thought it would be best to be direct. Your cousin is one of my best friends. He's nearly done his job training, he's getting married very soon, and his birthday is coming up. As much as he would hate to admit it, I'm sure it would mean a lot to him to have you be a part of his life at this point. You're one of the only blood relatives he has left. All I'm asking is that you consider attending the wedding, at least. I would make it my personal responsibility to make sure you were comfortable there."
Dudley frowned. If this Hermione thought he was going to go bond with Harry and a whole lot of freaks in some haunted castle or graveyard, she had another thing coming.
Hermione grinned, almost as though she could read his thoughts.
"Would you like to be able to start boxing again, Dudley?" she asked, a knowing look in her eye.
Dudley's heartbeat sped up at once. Of course, there was nothing he wanted more. Without understanding why, he suddenly felt as though he were making a bargain with the Devil over the state of his soul.
"I s'pose," he replied cautiously.
Hermione's smile was triumphant. "Well, then I'm sure we can come to some sort of agreement. Do you remember that day five years ago when your tongue swelled up from eating a sweet the Weasley twins dropped, right here in this room? And do you remember how easily their father was able to put you right?"
Dudley nodded slowly, wondering where she was going with this.
"You see, Dudley," Hermione continued, "my lot can fix more than just incidents caused by trick sweets. Someone like me could, for example, repair the damage done to, say, a dislocated shoulder, in a way regular doctors can't. All I ask in return would be for you to go to Harry's wedding."
"You're going to give me a bribe?" asked Dudley incredulously.
Hermione shrugged. "If you want to look at it that way. I think that in the end you could learn a lot about yourself and Harry. It could be a really good thing for you. But I suppose on the face of it, it is bribery."
After a long moment of silence, Dudley said, "Is the wedding at that... freak school?"
"Of course not." Hermione shook her head with some humor. "It's at Harry's house. He lives in a small town called Godric's Hollow, not too far from London."
"Will Parvati be there?"
"Yes," Hermione told him. Something about her expression made Dudley suspect that she was hiding something from him.
Dudley hesitated.
"I'll prepare you for it," Hermione promised. "And I'll make sure you're not bothered by any freaks."
Parvati, and boxing again... Dudley could not resist. He had no reason to trust this strange woman who had simply walked into his life without explanation, but he could not stand to turn down her offer. Dudley held out his hand, and Hermione shook it solemnly, a small, mischievous smile still playing on her lips.
***
"Honestly, Parvati, what is it about this bloke?" cried Lavender, not for the first time. She set down her bottle of Butterbeer with undue force and glared at her friend.
Parvati shook her head and sighed. "I don't know what you mean."
"You never stop talking about him! It's driving me mad. I haven't see you like this since-" but Lavender stopped short and hurriedly picked up her Butterbeer again, taking an overlarge gulp.
The two young women were seated at a booth in the cramped room of the Pumpkin Seed, a popular new coffee shop in Hogsmead where they often met after a hard day at work. Parvati was playing with her food, but had hardly eaten a bite.
"Since before," Parvati finished the sentence, hitching an artificial smile on her face.
"I'm sorry," Lavender muttered.
"That's all right. Really, don't worry about it. It's about time I moved on with my life." Parvati hesitated before continuing. "It's just that... I haven't felt this way since-since it happened. I don't know what it is about him, but he just makes me feel whole again. And I've only met him once! For Merlin's sake, he's so odd, and he's thicker than a flobberworm. But I can see how there's much more to him than meets the eye. He's... special."
"But, you know," said Lavender cautiously, "you have sometimes sort of... made more of these things than there really was."
"Look who's talking!" Parvati accused jokingly, throwing a piece of cauldron cake at Lavender.
"Oh, shut it." Lavender giggled. "Well, in any case, I believe you. I'm happy you've found him."
Parvati's face darkened. "If he'll still speak to me after I disappeared off the face of the planet, now."
"Oh, don't be so melodramatic! It was necessary. This is some serious business." Lavender's hand rose, unconsciously, to the twisted scar running the length of her neck and shoulder.
"I know," Parvati told her, "And it was a great reporting opportunity for me. But don't worry, the Aurors will sort it all out. You know they will."
"Of course," Lavender laughed. Then her expression suddenly changed, and she squealed. "I can't wait for your wedding! You should honeymoon in Paris. That's where everyone is going these days. Ooh, and you could visit Beauxbatons-"
"Please!" Parvati exclaimed. "I'm not getting married to Dudley Dursley. We've only had one conversation!"
"I could sense something between you two," Lavender insisted with a superior air.
"Could I have another Butterbeer, please?" Parvati called loudly to a waitress, suppressing a laugh.
When the bottle arrived, Parvati set it down atop a copy of the Daily Prophet laying on the table, partially obscuring the front page headline.
... And Notorious Death Eater, Escapes From Azkaban.
***
The movement of the wrist is crucial to the success of the incantation. A swish is followed by a rapid flick while the spell is spoken: "Wingardium Leviosa."
Dudley snapped The Standard Book of Spells: Grade One shut and rubbed his eyes wearily. His head had been nothing but a tempest of doubt and apprehension in the twenty-four hours since Hermione Granger's unsolicited visit to his home. At times he thought he had simply gone round the bend. At others he experienced a sort of unsettling clarity wherein the unknown path ahead of him seemed rather exciting.
Mostly, though, he felt queasy with fear.
"Morning, Dursley," called a snappy voice, and Dudley looked up in time to see Jenkins stride past his desk, his beady eyes gleaming with dislike.
Well, thought Dudley as he urged himself to remain calm, it wasn't as though he was actually doing anything wrong. There was no rule that said specifically that employees could not arrive at the office three hours early to avoid their family's queries while they read books about magic spells. It did not occur to Dudley in his distress to wonder why Jenkins himself was at work at such an ungodly hour.
"Now, what would a fine young businessman such as yourself be doing skulking in his office at a time like this?"
Dudley's first thought was that apparently no one in the world placed any value in getting a good night's sleep anymore.
His second thought, which ran through his head even as he jumped up in surprise and turned around fast enough to upset his computer screen, was that the beautiful voice that had just interrupted his thoughts was oddly familiar. Sure enough, there stood Parvati Patil, dressed in what appeared to be a lime green lab coat and some horrendously outdated blue jeans, with a clipboard in her hands.
As Dudley's thoughts caught up with him and he realized that his jaw was hanging open, it occurred to him that he was expected to give an answer. Desperate for something clever and funny to say, Dudley stammered, "I was just reading up on your Muggle Legion Office and some spells to make wrists fly. I mean-"
"You mean Muggle Liaison, I think" Parvati cut across him, laughing. "And I'd like to see a spell like that some time."
Dudley's face burned. Under cover of her renewed laughter, he attempted to straighten his computer screen. Instead he managed to send his keyboard toppling to the ground.
"Here, let me help you," Parvati said, still chortling. She reached into her pocket, took out the wand-object again, and waved it discreetly, casting a careful look around to see if anyone was watching. Both the monitor and the keyboard soared back into place, as good as new.
Dudley gaped at her, torn between terror and grudging admiration.
"I wanted to apologize for disappearing for so long after I promised to get in touch with you." Parvati smiled ruefully at Dudley's expression, but apparently chose to act as though she had not just performed magic right in front of him. "There's been an increase in dark wizard activity lately, and all Ministry workers were called to an urgent conference on the matter earlier this week. It was very important for me to attend. My secretary told me that you tried to telephone my office. Was there anything you needed to talk to me about?"
Cursing his misguided attempts to communicate with wizards over the telephone, Dudley racked his brains to come up with an answer that did not sound idiotic or creepy.
"I was, er, wondering," he began, finding it difficult to focus while Parvati stared directly into his eyes, "if you could- If you had any suggestions for, er- You see, I'm going to my cousin Harry's wedding in a month, and- Well I don't know what to get him as, er, as a gift."
This, Dudley belatedly decided, was the worst excuse anyone in history had ever come up with. Parvati, however, seemed intrigued, and her face broke into a smile. She had a glorious smile- No, Dudley mentally admonished himself, he should not think that way about a witch.
"Why don't I take you shopping in Diagon Alley on your lunch break?" Parvati said. "Oh I don't suppose you'll know about Diagon Alley." She laughed and placed her hand on his arm.
To hell with it, Dudley decided. He would think about her as much as he pleased. Suddenly he realized that Parvati was looking at him with her head tilted, seeming to expect something. Had she asked him a question? Something about shopping in a crooked alley? That did not bode well by any means.
"Yes," Dudley blurted, at least a full minute too late. "I'd like that."
Parvati beamed at him. "Good! I mean, that's really- I'll meet you here at quarter past twelve."
She leaned forward, and without any warning whatsoever, gave him a brief kiss, then walked away. Dudley's thoughts did not slow to a snail's pace this time; they screeched to a complete stop as if they had collided with a solid brick wall. He was still standing in the exact same position when, thirty-seven minutes later, his boss walked in and gave him an incredulous look. When his boss called him in to his office, Dudley went without even realizing what he was doing. When he heard the words "promotion" and "congratulations," he nodded absently and asked to return to his desk, where he was greeted with a venomous glare from Jenkins. Once seated, Dudley reopened The Standard Book of Spells: Grade One and began to read once again where he had left off.
The Phoenix Or The Flame by GinnyRULES
Chapter Notes: I want to thank everyone for the lovely reviews. In particular, someone pointed out that in the first chapter, Dudley should not have been able to remember seeing a hooded figure in his dream, because Muggles cannot see Dementors. Sorry about that! Clearly I need to exercise constant vigilance :p Anyway, enjoy the chapter!
Chapter Endnotes: Reviews are appreciated, as always. I'm starting to have fun with this story, and plan on having some more eventful chapters take place soon. Stay tuned!