Harry wandered the castle aimlessly, glad for the quiet atmosphere. He had waken up nearly half an hour before and, upon seeing the rest of his old dorm mates - Ron, Seamus, Dean, and Neville - asleep and no one in the Gryffindor Tower common room, decided to take advantage of the lack of people awake and take a walk.
As he walked, he admired the walls, the portraits (whose occupants had not returned to their frames), the stairs, everything about his first real home. Many hallways brought back memories from time when he, Ron, and Hermione were still young. True, seventeen wasn't old, but he felt as though he had aged greatly since he'd found out the contents of the infamous prophecy.
He didn't realize where his feet were leading him until he'd reached the doors to the Great Hall. He froze for a moment, knowing what lay behind those doors. Taking a deep breath, he opened them.
A wave of agony and grief hit him, as strong as any spell. The mere amount of bodies laying there could make anyone have nightmares. It pained Harry greatly to know that, despite what he'd be told a thousand times, that it was all his fault.
His breath hitched; his eyes watered. Harry found himself wanting nothing more than to sob for everything, for everyone. And, seeing that he was alone, he did. He did nothing to stop the flow of tears on his face; he allowed himself to gasp for breath from his violent sobbing. It felt good to let out all of the emotions he'd been holding in, trying to hide, for nearly his whole life.
Sinking into a crouch, he put his head on his arms. No more did he want to see the bodies of the people that had died for him that lay in the Great Hall. But his demons were again haunting him, and with the images came names.
Fred... Tonks... Remus... Hedwig...
And going back further, to people who hadn't died in the recent war, but had still given their lives for him - or had them taken because of his mistakes.
Dumbledore... Sirius... Cedric... His parents...
He didn't know the names of so many people that were laying in front of him. He vowed to himself that he would learn all of their names and make sure they were honored for serving in the war.
After a few minutes his breathing became normal and his eyes were dry. After taking a few more deep breaths to calm himself, he opened his eyes. Turning his back resolutely against the horrific sight he was met with, he pushed his thoughts away from the topic.
The first thing his mind came up with for him was Ginny. Ginny... Harry hated himself for treating her the way he did; he often found himself wishing he hadn't broken up with her, that he'd let her come along like he knew she'd wanted to. But that would have put her in more danger, and she had already been in enough to begin with, without him there to make it worse. He decided then that he would accept her decision - whether to forgive him or not - without question, because he surely would deserve whatever he got.
The Deathly Hallows were also a recurring thought. Harry was confused as to what he was going to tell the Weasleys about them; were they not a vital part of his story? Was the fact that he was the true master of them not important?
No, Harry decided, he wasn't going to tell them - not yet, anyway. Nor was he going to say why he sacrificed himself. He would tell them that he had seen Snape's memories. If they doubted his judgement - well, he would let them. Harry was not about to reveal to anybody that Snape had secretly loved his mother. True love was a powerful thing; Harry had no doubt that Voldemort's betrayal of Snape by killing his mother had turned Snape to Dumbledore.
What would he tell them of the Horcruxes, though? Harry had to admit that the Horcruxes were quite an important part in the downfall of Voldemort. They were the reason he hadn't died all those years ago. They were the reason Harry didn't die in the forest; he was one himself.
But if he did decide to tell them about the Horcruxes (which he knew he eventually would), he wouldn't be including that part. After all, Harry thought, they would just be freaked out by it. Imagine being told that the person that you knew for so many years, that you basically took in as a child, had a piece of Voldemort's soul inside of him since he was a baby!
No, he wouldn't be including that part.
His thoughts drifted from the important things to the unimportant. He thought back to the good times of Hogwarts; classes with Lupin, Hagrid's lessons, teaching the DA. He reminisced about the old days. Seeing the school like this, with nearly every hallway ruined to some degree, was saddening to Harry. After all, Hogwarts had been his home. It was better to think of the old days, Harry thought, though how they could be called 'old'...
As he walked up one of the Hogwarts' countless staircases, he found himself fighting the urge to start running. He hadn't been able to just think about things that weren't of the utmost importance for a while, and he was so unaccustomed to it. He felt the need to start brainstorming places that the final Horcrux could be, or start watching Ginny on the Marauder's Map, wishing he could see her again. But he could. He would see her in a few minutes, even, when he walked into the Gryffindor common room.
Being able to do nothing for a change was so different. It's always been Quidditch practice or homework or avoiding the Dursleys; it was never nothing.
Nothing was good.
Controlling the Rebound by hallows_vs_horcruxes
Story Notes:
This is my first story on here, so I hope you like it! If you could take a minute or so to tell me what you think, I'd really appreciate it!
Chapter Notes: Hello, everyone! Thanks for checking this story out! As of right now, this story is not being Beta'd, so I apologize for any errors.
Chapter Endnotes: Again, thanks for reading! Hey, y'know that magical box right below? The one where you can type your opinions about what you just read? Well, if you write what you thought of a chapter in said box, the story could improve because of your criticisms! So, if you decided to feed that magical box yummy words, it (not to mention I) would be very grateful...