Scorpius had returned to work an hour later, soaked to the skin, having wandered aimlessly around London in the rain for that time. He didn't talk to anyone for the remainder of the day. Instead, he caught up on the huge pile of paperwork that he had been neglecting, and as he worked, not once did he so much as look at Rose, who was sitting at the desk opposite him. She asked him if he was all right several times, but he did not reply, pretending not to have heard. Soon, Rose got the message, and when it was time for her to leave, she did not say goodbye to him. Scorpius wasn’t entirely sure, but he thought her eyes looked red when she glanced his way as she left, and he wondered if she had been crying.
He stayed behind a little longer, finally finishing at seven o’clock. Scorpius had left the office and reached the entrance of the Ministry when a voice from behind him shouted his name. He turned around to see Adam Nott catching up with him, grinning.
–Hi,†Scorpius said somewhat dully, unable to dredge up the energy to smile back. He hadn’t seen Adam in quite a while, and though Scorpius was pleased to see him, he also wanted to be left alone.
–What’s up with you?†Adam asked, still smiling but raising his eyebrows in question.
–Nothing,†Scorpius replied as nonchalantly as possible.
Adam looked wholly unconvinced. –I was going to ask if you wanted to go for a drink.â€
–What’s the occasion?â€
–You’ll see.†Adam tapped his nose, and he obviously wasn’t going to discuss this any further.
–Fine. But I get to pick the pub.â€
Lily looked up from her drink when the door opened, and she frowned as Scorpius Malfoy entered the pub with a friend she vaguely recognised. She had hoped no one she knew would be here tonight. The Hog’s Head wasn’t quite as popular as the newer pubs that had popped up in recent years in Hogsmeade (though none of them beat The Three Broomsticks, which most of her family frequented), but, admittedly, she didn't know Malfoy well, anyway. She certainly didn't know him well enough to care if he saw her getting pissed. In fact, if she asked nicely, he might even buy her a drink. After all, Lily didn't think she was drunk enough yet.
Upon Apparating home earlier that day from Louis’s, Kreacher had fixed Lily some lunch. As she ate, she had ignored her father’s questions as to where she had been during the day, and why she hadn’t returned home last night.
–It’s not that I mind, Lily, but I’d appreciate it if I knew where you were,†Harry had said. –Don’t get me wrong; you’re old enough to go where you want. Just tell me, and then I won't think you’ve been abducted or something.â€
The sad thing was that he wasn’t even joking. Having an Auror for a father had never been easy for Lily, but she still tried to argue with him about it.
–Dad, you’re not being fair. James and Albus get to go out as much as they want, and you never say anything to them--â€
Harry looked like he was going to argue back, but luckily, Ginny came to Lily’s rescue.
–Leave her alone, Harry. Lily is nineteen, after all,†Ginny had reminded him. –She can look after herself.â€
–Thanks, Mum,†said Lily, grateful, for once, that her mother was taking her side.
But Lily noticed that even her mother had looked concerned when Lily had left the house later that evening. She had spent the afternoon finishing a rather boring article for the Daily Prophet, and after she had sent it off, she decided she needed alcohol -- badly. So she went to the Hog’s Head, where she kept herself entertained by downing drink after drink while eavesdropping on her neighbours.
–So, are you going to tell me what’s wrong?†Scorpius’s friend asked Scorpius.
–Rose and I broke up.â€
Lily was surprised at this new piece of information. She’d known about Rose’s relationship with Scorpius. Lily had been one of the few Rose confided in about it, given how half her cousins disapproved of Scorpius, so she was surprised to hear they had broken up. It was a shame, she thought. They had made a nice couple -- even if Lily’s Uncle Ron refused to be in the same room as Scorpius when the latter was invited to dinner at the Burrow on Sundays. And even if Lily had fancied Scorpius when they were at school just a tiny, tiny bit.
Lily shook her head, chastising herself. She was with Louis now. She couldn’t be thinking like that -- never mind the fact that they were having their first proper fight since they got together.
She hoped that they could make up soon.
–And then he says,†Scorpius was saying, draining his Firewhisky, –that relationships with superiors definitely aren’t allowed, and that I’d have to leave, and that we’d have till the end of the day to tell him what we wanted. But -- this is what really stumped me. Rose and I had talked about it before. I told her it was fine if I left the department, and then she tells me how she doesn’t want to be responsible for me leaving my job. So, because of that, she wanted to finish with me. I mean, surely I should be the one to decide whether or not I’d be upset about that, not her--â€
–Yeah, I know what you mean. Could I have another, please?†Scorpius’s friend cut him off and waved at the barman, who was elderly-looking with a long, straggly beard. He came over and poured more Firewhisky in his goblet. –Him too,†he added, gesturing to Scorpius’s glass.
–So what are we celebrating, Adam?†Scorpius asked again, looking like he wanted to change the subject.
–Aren't I allowed to take a friend to the pub when I want to?â€
–But you don't, usually. We don't work together anymore. I haven’t seen you in weeks, months, maybe.â€
–Rose Weasley just split up with you--â€
–Thanks for reminding me,†Scorpius said heavily.
–--anyone would need a drink after that,†Adam continued, regardless.
–Or two.â€
–Did she seem cut up about it, afterwards?â€
Scorpius rolled his eyes. –A little,†he admitted. –Though why, I’m not entirely sure.â€
Lily soon zoned out, becoming bored as their conversation turned to Adam’s girlfriend expecting a baby or something. Draining the last few drops of gin, she called the barman over. She only had five Sickles left, which would just about cover one more drink, so she handed the money to him and he poured some more gin into her goblet for what seemed like the umpteenth time that night. Then, something in Scorpius and Adam’s conversation made her look up.
–Dominique and I weren’t married either -- we only had a one-night stand,†Scorpius said.
–Yeah, and where did that lead -- I’m sorry,†Adam said hastily, as Scorpius’s eyes suddenly returned to their previously downcast state. –I didn’t mean--â€
–Don't worry about it,†Scorpius said listlessly.
But Adam still seemed embarrassed, and he looked at his watch. –Damn, I’m late already,†he said, getting to his feet and fastening his cloak. –Dinner with Jas’s family,†he explained.
–Are you going to tell them?†Scorpius asked, grateful for the change of subject.
–She doesn’t want to. Not yet.†He emptied his money pouch onto the bar. –Here. Have some drinks on me.â€
–Are you deliberately trying to get me pissed or something?†Scorpius asked, half-amused, half-annoyed.
–’Course not. You just look like you need to... smooth out your rough edges, that’s all. Now, I’m off. Wish me luck.â€
–Good luck,†Scorpius called out as Adam left the pub. Then he looked around, surveying the Hog’s Head’s clientele for the first time since entering the pub. Almost immediately, he caught the eye of the girl sitting a few seats away from him, and before he registered who she was, she got out of her seat and sat on the one Adam had just left.
Meanwhile, the barman collected the money, leaving a few Galleons behind.
–Would you like another?†he grunted. –You may as well, since your friend overpaid the tab--â€
–No, you’re all right,†Scorpius replied, holding up his half-empty goblet.
–What about you?†the barman asked the girl -- Scorpius now recognised her as Lily Potter. She nodded, pushing her goblet towards him. After serving her, he moved to another customer at the other end of the bar. Lily took a rather noisy sip, and the only other sounds were the whisperings of nearby warlocks.
–He has a point, you know,†Lily said. –About the rough edges and the... smoothing and everything.â€
–It’s a load of metaphorical bollocks,†he said flatly, forgetting for a moment that he was conversing with a near stranger. Though Lily was Rose’s cousin, he realised that he’d never really talked to her properly.
–So what--†She paused, propping herself up against the bar on one elbow, and then she continued, –you’ve never... never had something happen to you that you wish you could -- forget?â€
–Well... yeah, I do,†Scorpius admitted. He wondered how much she knew about him and Rose, and how much she had heard. It wasn’t as if he and Adam had been talking quietly or anything. –So what?â€
–A good old drink,†she said, trying to sit up again and swaying on her stool slightly, –makes all the difference. Especially when your heart has rough edges that need smoothing out.â€
–Any more smoothing for you and you’d just... roll,†Scorpius remarked, realising just how drunk she was. –Perhaps you should go easy...â€
–Are you sure you don't want a drink?†she said, ignoring his comment and placing her hand on his arm. –Merlin knows, you could do with one.†As if to illustrate her point, Lily knocked back more gin, and her words were becoming slurred. –Oh, how rude of me -- I didn't introduce myself! I’m Lily. Lily--â€
–Lily Potter, yes, I know,†he said, frowning. He didn't move her hand away but stayed stock still, watching her carefully. –You’re very drunk.â€
–I’m as drunk as a skunk, yeah?†she said, laughing rather loudly and causing some people to stare at her. Surprisingly, Lily was still able to speak, albeit somewhat incoherently, her voice becoming louder and louder. –That was kinda my intention, you know. Because, you see, someone... someone pished me off today. He didn't give me what I wanted. You know what -- what it's like, not getting whatchu want?†she demanded, poking him in the chest now. –And I wanted somethin’ very much. Actually, quite a few people pissed me off. So I thought -- I thought it would be a good idea to -- you know--†Lily was gesticulating wildly at this point, with her hands, as if she could pluck the words she was unable to say out of the air she was grabbing.
Scorpius had no idea what she was talking about; his tipsy state of mind did not help matters, either. But he couldn’t stop himself from catching hold of her flailing wrists, partly in an effort to silence her, and he regretted doing so almost instantly, because Lily finally found what she wanted to say. –So -- I decided to -- to... get pissed! Get it? Pished off, pished?†Lily continued to laugh almost hysterically at her own joke, not realising that half the pub was watching now. She wrenched her hands free of his grasp and pushed over her drink by accident. Scorpius sprang up to avoid being splashed by the liquor.
–Maybe it’s about time you -- we -- leave,†he suggested hastily. The barman was already coming over, disapproval lining his wrinkled face, so Scorpius took her hand, pulled her to her feet and led her out of the pub before he could reach them. The rain from before had returned, and when Scorpius tried to release her hand, she held on tighter, clinging to his shoulder with her other hand and just about managing to stay standing without slipping.
–How are you getting home? Knight Bus?†he asked, trying to move his face away from hers a little. There were only a few centimetres between them, and he could feel her breath on his face as she spoke.
She giggled. –Home? I’m not going home. Not like this. My dad would give me an earful. Already has, actually. And I don't like the Knight Bus. Makes me feel sick.â€
You’re probably going to be sick anyway, Scorpius thought. –What are you doing?†he demanded as she placed his free hand on her waist.
She didn't answer his question, instead saying, –How about you take me to yours?†She had somehow pressed her body against his, and up close, he could see the raindrops falling on her long, dark eyelashes before they rolled down her cheeks. Her eyes were the same dark brown as Rose’s (although far more unfocused), and Scorpius found himself staring at her, momentarily forgetting how drenched they had both become.
–So what do you think?†she whispered, and he only hesitated for a moment. It seemed like the right thing to do. Scorpius was, after all, the less drunk of the two of them, and besides, he couldn’t just leave her there, in the rain, in the middle of Hogsmeade, especially outside The Hog’s Head of all places. He might even be able to sober her up back at his place. Yes, that was what he was going to do. He didn't really have a choice, in a way.
So, gripping her arm tightly, he turned on the spot with her, and they landed in his flat. Scorpius managed to stay standing for a split second before losing his balance and tumbling forward, on top of Lily, landing on the sofa.
–Nice place,†she said breathlessly, still with a drunken smile on her face as she lay on her back, looking up at him. In his slightly blurred vision, Scorpius registered her dark red hair was also a similar colour to Rose’s, but longer. Rose had a far sharper face than Lily, and Lily was short, he thought, far too short, and though she didn't look it, Scorpius knew she was two years younger than him as well -- but none of that really mattered to him, not really.
Scorpius didn't know why Lily kissed him. All he knew was that, one second, he was trying to haul himself up, away from her, and the next, her hands were on the back of his neck, pulling him towards her, and her lips were on his. And though they felt strange, unusual, to him, it felt almost -- nice, in a way, and he kissed her back, tasting alcohol on her tongue, but not caring. After all, if he just imagined hard enough, and if he kept his eyes closed, the person who he was kissing on his sofa was not Lily Potter, but someone else entirely.
The buttons of his shirt had somehow come undone, and he quickly undid her blouse and was just unhooking her bra -- quickly becoming impatient that it was taking so long, and wishing they could speed things up a bit -- when he halted mid-kiss, wondering why he was so intent on just getting it over with. It was never like this with her. It should have been something he savoured, when they took their time. And this wasn’t it.
–What’s wrong?†Lily asked, and her hands moved downwards, unfastening his trousers. When he didn't reply, she kissed him again, and Scorpius pulled away from her, letting out a groan.
–Stop it,†he managed to say.
–No,†she said, pushing her hips against his and continuing to kiss him, and it felt so good, for him, but he knew he had to wrench himself away from her, so he did so. He stood, albeit slightly unsteadily, and with a stupendous amount of effort, he turned away and pulled up his trousers, with all the dignity he could muster.
–That’s enough,†he muttered.
–Why?†she demanded, and he could hear her getting to her feet and placing her slightly shaky hand on his shoulder, trying to make him face her again. And though part of him wanted to kiss her again, Scorpius forced himself to shrug her off. –Why?†she said again.
–Because you don't want this. Not really. And neither do I.â€
He picked up his shirt from where it had been flung to the floor and put it on, still with his back to her.
–Put something on,†he said, and it was not a command, but a request. –I'm not looking,†he added, and true to his word, without glancing her way, he headed to the kitchen. He returned a minute later with a glass of water, and thankfully, she was decent again, apart from the fact that her buttons were done wrong and she looked a mess.
–Maybe I should--†she began, trying to stand up, but her legs gave way beneath her and Scorpius had to catch her and sit her back down on the sofa.
–Look, you need to sober up,†Scorpius interrupted rather bluntly, and he thrust the glass at her. Suddenly, however, Scorpius was roughly pushed to one side as Lily bent forwards and threw up.
Lily woke up with a splitting headache, wincing as the early morning sunlight attacked her eyes. She cursed the fact that there were no curtains wherever she was. She could also feel a crick in her neck, and she realised she was still fully dressed and lying on a sofa with a blanket covering her. The buttons of her blouse were done up wrongly, and her bra felt uncomfortably tight and strange.
Where was she? Squinting, she looked around, and slowly, the memories of last night flooded back to her.
She had left the pub. With Scorpius. And then she had somehow persuaded him to let her come back to his place. And then -- she had come on to him.
She had kissed Scorpius Malfoy. Well, actually, more than kissed him. She had come close to --
Shuddering, Lily felt disgust stab her in the gut, and she probably would have thrown up if her stomach wasn’t already empty. She was repulsed by the horrible taste of stale vomit in her mouth, but more so because of what she had done last night. How could she be so stupid? She was with someone. Someone who loved her and who she loved. What on earth had possessed her to get so drunk and betray Louis like that?
And it didn't make it much better that Scorpius was Rose’s ex. Merlin, they hadn’t even split up for an entire day before Lily made a move on him. What would Rose think of her if she knew?
Thank God Scorpius had stopped her going too far. They hadn’t quite gone the whole way -- that was something, at least. And yet, somehow, that only softened the blow a little.
–Lily?â€
Oh no, she thought. Scorpius came into the sitting room, fully dressed and holding a steaming mug of tea, but she was unable to meet his eyes. –Thanks,†she managed to say, accepting the tea and sitting up. He remained standing.
Lily took a sip, but it was too hot, and she burnt her tongue. Tears spurted from her eyes, and Scorpius shifted uncomfortably, as if he didn't quite know what to do.
–Um,†he said, once her sniffling had subsided somewhat, –um, well, er, this is kind of... awkward.â€
–I’m sorry, Scorpius,†she said, still not looking at him. –Really, I am. It was all my fault -- I don't know what came over me last night. I was a fool -- no,†she corrected herself, –I was a drunken fool, and I shouldn’t have--â€
–You’re not entirely to blame, Lily,†he said quietly. –Look -- you were obviously cut up about something in the pub. So was I. It was just as much my fault as it was yours.â€
She nodded, drinking her tea, which was, mercifully, at a drinkable temperature now, but not quite sweet enough for her liking.
–So we’re okay, aren’t we? I mean, it’s not going to cause any problems--â€
–What’s done is done,†Lily said. She stood, placing the mug on the table and adjusting her clothes. –Thanks for the tea. And -- everything else. I’ll get going now. Can I use your Floo powder?â€
Scorpius looked surprised. –So that’s it?†he said, raising his eyebrows.
–What?†she challenged, at last meeting his gaze.
–What are we going to--â€
–What are we going to do? Well, you’ve said what you’ve got to say. I have too. We’re never going to talk about what happened again. I’ve already forgotten about it. It was a mistake, and we both know that.â€
She took his silence as assent, and with a last nod, she stepped into the fireplace. She closed her eyes as the flames engulfed her, hoping that she would never have to see Scorpius Malfoy’s flat ever again.
Sometime after Lily left, Scorpius headed for work. He was expected there half an hour before, and this did not go unnoticed when he arrived at the office.
–Where the hell have you been?†Rose demanded. Her arms were folded as she fixed Scorpius with a glare. –You’re late!â€
–Way to state the obvious,†he muttered, glowering back at her as unapologetically as he could. –So -- what have I missed?â€
She stared at him, biting her lip, and for a moment, Scorpius thought she might say something, something that had nothing to do with magical law enforcement. But then she blinked and said, –We have a couple of fraud cases and a suspicious-looking new Muggle invention that we need to check up on...â€
And Scorpius knew, then, that Rose really only meant business -- and nothing else.
It was a few days after the embarrassing debacle with Scorpius. Lily had just returned home from a Quidditch match she had been covering, and she had gone up to her bedroom to see a familiar owl knocking on the window. She let him in, squinting in the sunlight, and he flew to Lily’s owl’s empty cage where he stopped to drink some water.
Dear Lily,
If it’s not too much trouble for you, could you come round to my place sometime this evening? I wanted to talk to you about something.
Hope that’s okay -- let me know.
Louis
She frowned. What could he want to talk to her about? They hadn’t spoken since their argument the other day, although, even if Lily had wanted to, Louis had been at work so much that she wouldn’t have got the chance.
Nevertheless, she sent a reply, saying she would be there soon. There was no way she could evade him forever, and she had to admit that she wanted to see him. Lily paid extra attention to what she was wearing, not knowing if she should wear jeans or a skirt or a dress, and she finally decided on a compromise, wearing a short dress on top of jeans. She spent an age putting on makeup before deciding that it was too over the top and scrubbing it all off, and then despairing when her hair got wet as a result.
At last, after telling Ginny that she was going out, Lily Apparated outside Louis’s flat and knocked on the door, feeling oddly formal. She could have just Apparated directly inside, but something held her back somehow.
The door opened, and Lily stood where she was for a moment, just staring at him.
–Hi,†she said eventually, and she couldn’t help but think her voice was unnaturally loud in the silence.
He smiled at her, and she tried to smile back, but she felt as if her lips were frozen in one position, and she couldn’t quite manage it. –Lily. Come in.†Louis stepped back, allowing her to pass before shutting the door and following her to the living room.
–How’ve you been?†she asked.
–Fine,†he said. –Tea?â€
She settled on the sofa and nodded, watching as he went to the kitchen and returned a minute later with two mugs. Then he sat beside her, and for a minute, they just watched each other, drinking their tea. Louis had made it exactly how she liked it: milky, with two sugars. Louis always did make lovely tea, Lily thought.
Then, Lily said, –Louis, I’m sorry--†at the exact same moment that Louis said, –Lily, I’m sorry,†and the ice between them broke as they both laughed.
–You first,†he said, still smiling, raising his mug to his lips.
Her smile faltered slightly as she took a deep breath. –Look, I really am sorry for what I said the other day. It was selfish of me; I completely overreacted and it wasn’t fair on you. I completely understand if you don't want me to--â€
He shook his head. –No, you were right,†Louis said quietly. –I was the one being selfish, Lily, not you. It was my fault.â€
–But--â€
–Don’t,†he interrupted, putting his mug down. –I think you should move in. Like you were saying. It’ll make things easier for you. And me. We won’t have to think about coming up with cover stories and sneaking around all the time. You had a point, and I'm sorry I couldn’t see it like that before.â€
Lily set her mug on the table next his, not quite believing what she was hearing.
–You’re -- you’re sure about this?†she asked, and her free hand moved almost of its own accord to his neck, and upwards, into his hair.
–Yes,†he answered, leaning back against the sofa. –I mentioned it to Harry about it earlier today.â€
–And?â€
–And he thinks it’s a good idea. He actually asked why I felt the need to run it by him--â€
–I told you he trusts you,†she told him.
–He did say, though, that if you do move in, I’d have to... keep an eye on you.â€
Lily scoffed. –What am I, five?â€
He laughed softly, and even Lily smiled. –No,†he told her, grinning, his hand cupping her cheek and bringing her face closer to his, –but you're nineteen years old and beautiful, and you don't return home most nights, so who knows what you're up to?â€
Her smile disappeared from her face in an instant, but Louis didn't notice, because his lips were already on hers and his eyes were closed.
Louis broke away a moment later, looking at her questioningly. –You okay?†he asked, and the love and concern she could see in his eyes was almost unbearable for Lily, because she knew she didn't deserve it.
–Course,†she heard herself reply, trying to ignore her racing heart as she settled more comfortably against him.
–I love you, Lily,†he said softly.
–L-love you too,†she said back, and despite everything, she knew she meant it. She kissed him again, and somewhere in between, they got up, stopping every few seconds for a kiss before they reached their bedroom.
And Lily wondered, as her hands slipped underneath his shirt and she lost herself in him, lost in his body and his whispered words to her against her lips mid-kiss, if she would ever be able to tell him what she had done.