One moment, it’s like flying. The thrill as you touch the sky and can see everything laid out before you. The next moment, it’s like falling. The time when you topple over the peak and go down and down until you begin to go back up and fly again.
On an actual roller-coaster, it’s thrilling. When it’s your love life, though, it’s disconcerting, even annoying at times.
But Tonks didn’t want to get off. She never wanted to.
When she had been a little girl, her dad had taken her to a Muggle fair and onto the largest roller-coaster she was allowed to go on. She had loved the rise, the fall, the feeling that she could fall out at any second. She had begged to ride again and again.
This was exactly the same. And even though she hadn’t wanted to get on the ride, she had, and now she couldn’t get off.
And she knew that no matter how hard Remus tried, he didn’t want to either.
It was one of those rides that you go on with a friend who begs and pleads not to go on the roller-coaster and screams the whole time on it, but once it’s over, they ask to go again. Except this one hadn’t slowed down enough for Remus to ask.
At least with the friend who protests and then loves it, they don’t give stupid reasons.
–I’m too old.â€
–I’m too broken.â€
–It’s too dangerous.â€
Too old wasn’t a problem. Age was just a number.
Too broken wasn’t a problem. Tonks knew she could help him mend. Help him move on.
Too dangerous wasn’t a problem. She loved danger. She was an Auror and danger was something she had lived for ever since she was a little girl.
But he still wanted off. He didn’t want this roller-coaster to keep going.
But he couldn’t stop it.
Not until the largest fall it had taken yet. Not until Dumbledore was gone and Bill was injured so horribly.
They sat by the lake that night, watching in case any Death Eaters tried to come back. They doubted it would happen. The Death Eaters had accomplished what they had intended.
So they talked instead. For the moment, the roller-coaster had stopped.
–It’s not that I don’t love you, Dora… I guess you could say that I love you enough to let you go. I learned a long time ago that love only exists if you’re willing to give it up to save what you love. You know what I mean?â€
–I know what you mean, Remus. But I don’t need saving. I want you. And if I don’t want you to give up, why keep trying?â€
–Dora…â€
–Don’t start on all of your excuses again. I’ve told you that I don’t care. When will you accept that you want this as much as I do?â€
–I can’t want things like other men. I can’t live like other people. And if you choose me, you can’t either.â€
–Like I live like other people now. With Dumbledore gone, there’s nothing to stop people from hurting us anyway, so what’s a little extra danger now?â€
He had no answer to that.
–What have you got to lose, Remus?â€
–It’s not about what I have to lose. It’s about what you have to lose.â€
–I don’t have anything to lose. Not that isn’t worth losing.â€
–What about your family? Your friends? Your job? Will they all accept this decision?â€
–It’s my choice. And if they can’t accept you, I don’t need them.â€
–You’re crazy, Dora.â€
–I know. I know I’m crazy. I know it’s mad to love a werewolf. There, I said it. But it’s still there. It’s still real.â€
She could see that it was working, that his resolve was crumbling now more than ever. But it would take a greater rise than this.
So she leaned over and kissed him.
And he kissed her back.
And it was the greatest rise and fall of all.
Once they had broken apart, Tonks knew she had won. The roller-coaster ride was over. No more rise and fall and uncertainty. He would ask to ride again.
–Dora…â€
–Don’t talk.â€
He didn’t for several minutes.
–Dora, will you marry me?â€
–And you said I move too fast.â€
–We don’t have time to take it slow. There could be no tomorrow. If we don’t soon…â€
–Yes. As soon as the funeral’s over.â€
The rising was beginning again. The rush. And the fall was coming.
How high would they rise together? How far would they fall?
And who cared?
–Don’t ever get off the ride,†she whispered to him.
–I couldn’t. Even if I wanted to.â€
And they did get married. Barely two weeks later, they were forever and always together.
They would never fall again.