–Oh, Merlin, I’m going to be late. I’m going to be so late.â€
Lily grinned over her shoulder at Marlene, who was running wildly around the apartment with only one shoe on and her jacket inside-out. –You’re always late, Marl,†she said.
–I know,†Marlene sighed, hopping on her left foot as she pulled a sock onto her right. –That makes it so much worse.â€
–I don’t think Tom minds much,†Lily said around the nail that was sticking out of her mouth. She squinted at the gold-framed picture she’d held up against the wall in front of her, then set it lightly on the sofa, removed the nail from her mouth, and began hammering it into the wall. Once this was done, she turned to face Marlene, who was now looking under the sofa for her hat. –After all,†Lily continued as though there had been no interruption, –you are his best waitress.â€
Marlene considered this. –I suppose that’s true,†she said. –But oh, it’s not Tom. Remus is coming in today, I said I’d try to help him get a job there.â€
–Well, and you know Remus,†Lily said, straightening a gold-framed picture on the wall and stepping back to admire her handiwork. –He’s never late.â€
Groaning, Marlene threw a mitten across the room at Lily. It landed several feet from its intended target, who looked over her shoulder, and then turned back to hammer another nail into the wall. Marlene padded over to stand behind her.
–You know you’re a witch, right?†Marlene asked. –And you’re of age.â€
–Yes,†Lily said with a laugh, –actually, I am aware of that. Why do you ask?â€
Marlene eyed the scattered pictures hanging on the wall and said, –Well, there are easier ways to hang thoughts. You don’t have to do them all by hand.â€
Lily shrugged. –I know,†she said, –but it’s a good distraction.â€
Unexpectedly, Marlene sat down on the couch and blinked at her.
–You’re late,†Lily reminded her, but Marlene only shrugged.
–Whatever,†she said. –You’re more important. I’ll just Apparate to work.â€
–I thought Tom thinks it’s unprofessional when you Apparate in,†Lily said vaguely, but Marlene just waved her away.
–I’ll Apparate into the women’s bathroom and just tell him he didn’t see me walk in,†she said. –Now tell me what’s wrong.â€
–Who said anything’s wrong?†Lily asked, startled.
Marlene tutted at her. –Please,†she said. –You’re nailing pictures to the wall to distract yourself. Obviously it’s not from anything good.â€
Lily sighed and put down her hammer. –Well it’s not really anything bad,†she said, then sighed again. –Oh, it’s just…I feel so silly saying it out loud.â€
–Oh,†Marlene said, understanding. –James.â€
Lily eyed her. –Wish it wasn’t,†she said finally.
Marlene clucked in sympathy. –I did notice he hasn’t come around lately,†she said. –Did something happen?â€
Lily shook her head. –No, nothing,†she said. –I mean, he’s been distant since his parents died, you know. He was wonderful after my parents had their accident, but ever since his parents’ funeral, he’s just seemed so far away. Which was only to be expected, of course, but I just thought, well, you know. After he and Sirius pulled that prank on Gideon and Fabian, maybe…†she stopped and laughed lightly. –Saying it out loud makes me feel even sillier.â€
–Oh, no it doesn’t,†Marlene said. –It’s an impossible situation, isn’t it? He’s bound to feel uncomfortable coming to you, knowing you’ve gone through the same thing so recently. It’s hard to ask for support when you feel like you should be giving it. He probably feels guilty for even thinking about bothering you with it.â€
–But isn’t that what couples are supposed to do?†Lily asked, frustrated. –Support each other when things get hard like this?â€
–Sure,†Marlene said, –but this is uncharted territory for you both. And you’re still so young, Lil. You’re going to need time to figure it all out.â€
–I guess,†Lily said. –And in the meantime, I have my hammer.â€
–You get that wall,†Marlene said seriously, and then stood. –And I am going to get to work. Finally.â€
–Good luck,†Lily called after her, and Marlene turned on the spot and disappeared with a crack.
---
Remus stuck his hands in the pockets of his threadbare jacket and shivered in the cold. One finger poked out through a hole in his coat, and he looked down at it, frowning, and then clenched his hands into fists.
He’d been walking nervously up and down Diagon Alley for the better part of an hour, constantly checking his watch to see if it was time to meet Marlene yet. What he really wanted was a drink, but, he thought, it probably isn’t too professional to be seen downing several firewhiskeys before an interview at your potential place of employment. He had a sudden, sharp longing for the warmth and welcome of the Three Broomsticks, but he pushed it aside--he was in London now, after all.
He bounced onto the balls of his feet, checked the time again, and decided it was close enough. Briskly, he started down the street towards the Leaky Cauldron, ducking around the large groups of people doing their Christmas shopping--so many, he thought, even though it was only the first week of December. Some of them were clutching piles of parcels so high he couldn’t tell how they could see over them.
Snow was beginning to fall in slow, fat flakes around him, and he turned up the collar of his coat, trying to eke out all the warmth he could. The lights of the pub seemed very welcoming now indeed, and he pushed inside, shivering, forgetting even his nerves for a moment.
At the bar, Marlene was just tying an apron around her waist. He sidled shyly up to her, watching as she gave the knot a final pull, biting her lip. –Hi,†he said, and she looked up, smiling.
–Oh, good,†she said. –I was worried you would beat me here.â€
Remus decided not to mention just how long he’d been outside, but Marlene was already scanning him critically.
–You look frozen through,†she declared. –Come back after Tom gives you the job and I’ll get something that will warm you up.â€
As if summoned, Tom the barman appeared at Marlene’s elbow. –Making all my hiring decisions for me, this one,†he said, jerking his head towards her. –Sometimes I think she’s fixing to take over the place when I retire.â€
–Oh, Tom, please,†Marlene teased, whipping a dishtowel out from under the bar. –As if you’d ever retire.â€
Tom grinned toothlessly at her. He was small, bald, and utterly unintimidating, but Remus still felt a nervous lump in his throat as the barman gestured to him and shuffled towards a back room off the bar.
The room was dim and rather dusty; there was one small desk, a lamp, and several rickety wooden chairs. Tom heaved himself onto one, propped his feet up on another, and gestured to Remus to take the third. He did so somewhat gingerly, and the two blinked at each other.
–I’ll be honest with you,†Tom said eventually, folding his hands in front of his stomach. –Marlene’s a good kid. One of my best. And if she recommends you so thoroughly, then I’m inclined to hire you.â€
Remus’s mouth dropped slightly. –I…that is to say, this is…â€
–Not entirely what you expected?†Tom asked wryly.
Remus shook his head, swallowed, and then said, –No. And I appreciate it, sir, I do, but I…I’d rather earn it.â€
Tom looked at him appraisingly for a moment, and then laughed, a thin, reedy cackle that caused Remus to start a little. –Oh, please, Lupin, it’s a busboy job, no need to call me ‘sir.’â€
–Yes, sir,†Remus agreed.
Tom shook his head. –Look, I’ve seen you pass through here before, of course,†he said. –A bit less loudmouthed than some of your friends.â€
At this, Remus cracked a smile. –A bit.â€
–You need a job, I need a job done,†Tom said, shrugging. –I can’t pay you much, of course, but there’s a room just above the bar that I can offer you for cheap--I don’t rent it out to customers much because of the noise from the bar, so if you want it, it’s yours. I just need to ask if there’s anything I need to know about you before I hire you?â€
It was a better deal by far than Remus had been expecting, but he didn’t like the way Tom was looking at him now: shrewdly, as if he knew he was concealing something. He was loath to admit his condition, but he had an inkling Tom would know he was lying.
Swallowing, he looked the barman in the eye and said, –Well, I would…I would have to take full moons off.â€
–Ah,†Tom said, staring back at him unblinkingly. –Werewolf. I thought so.â€
–I--what?†Remus said, not sure what, precisely, Tom’s unflinching stare meant.
–You have the look,†the barman shrugged. –You hang around as many lowlifes--no offense--as I do, you become pretty good at figuring out when people are hiding. Been having trouble finding a job because of it, I suppose?â€
–Yes,†Remus said vehemently, suddenly and ferociously relieved. –People can just tell, I have no idea how!â€
–Charms, some of them,†Tom said. –Ones that will let you know when someone you’re talking too is lying or avoiding something. A few employ psychics, although that tends to be a bit more imprecise. And some will keep track of what you’ve touched and test it later, for various conditions. Most people are a bit pickier about their hiring than I am.â€
–So you’ll…you’d still be willing to hire me?†Remus asked, barely daring to believe it.
–I had a hag on payroll once, memorably,†Tom told him. –As far as I can tell, you’ll only shed a few days out of the month, and that I can live with. Just try not to bite any of the customers.â€
–I promise,†Remus said, reaching over to shake his hand, –I’ll keep my teeth to myself.â€
–Don’t worry,†Tom said. –I actually require that of all my employees.â€
It was a slightly dazed Remus who returned to the main room of the pub. Marlene put down the glass she was wiping out as she saw him approach. –So?†she asked, her hands on her hips. –You got it, right?â€
Mutely, Remus nodded, until the smile, unrestrained, burst across his face. Marlene beamed at him, then dried her hands quickly on her apron and, quite to his surprise, flung her arms around his neck. After a brief moment of hesitation, he returned the hug. Her enthusiasm was infectious; laughing, he found himself tightening his arms around her waist and lifting her full off her feet. Then, just as quickly, he set her down again, slightly stunned and embarrassed by his own boldness. Marlene, however, took it in stride.
–It will be so nice to have a friend back here,†she babbled, brushing one blonde curl away from her face. –It can get a little dull when the crowds are low--trust me, a week from now you’ll be wondering why you even wanted this job!â€
Remus doubted it, still high on the fact that someone was willing to hire him at all, but of course he couldn’t tell her that. He shuffled his feet anxiously, unsure of what to say, but was saved from having to respond by a familiar voice from behind them.
–You two look like you’re having fun.â€
The bar was empty enough that Remus knew instinctively that whoever was talking was talking to them, and sure enough when he turned around he saw Gideon Prewett leaning against the bar, his tall, broad body managing somehow to look elegant instead of hulking. Gideon shook his hair out of his eyes and grinned as Marlene turned to address him.
–I’m always having fun,†she said. Remus managed a feeble smile in return, although he suspected it might look more like a wince. Gideon nodded at him out of politeness, and then turned his attention to Marlene.
–So, listen,†he said. –I heard you were working tonight. I thought maybe I’d come by and see if you’d buy me a drink.â€
–Oh, is that how it works now?†Marlene said with a laugh, planting a hand on her hip and raising an eyebrow. –Because I have to say, I’ve had better offers.â€
Remus looked back and forth between the two of them, his elation draining away. Is this really how to talk to girls? he thought, somewhat astounded, as Marlene rested her elbows on the bar and leaned towards Gideon. And it actually works?
Looking at Gideon, he was struck by the notion that this must be how people who didn’t know Sirius felt about him--Sirius and Gideon had that same languorous confidence, that same ease, and Remus suddenly thought he understood why Lily had avoided them all for so long.
Unconsciously, he had taken several steps away from Gideon and Marlene, and was standing awkwardly behind the bar. His arms felt too long for his body, and he stuck his hands in his pockets only to pull them out again, feeling gawky and young and begrudging himself the space he took up.
A few seconds later, Tom shuffled into the room, taking in the tableau that was his barroom in one canny glance. His eyes lingered on Remus perhaps one knowing moment too long before he barked, –Oi! McKinnon! Don’t you have a busboy to be training?â€
–Right, sorry!†Marlene said, pushing away from the bar and gesturing to Remus.
–And you,†Tom jerked his head at Gideon, –shove off or buy a drink.†Gideon laughed at him, settling himself onto his barstool.
Grumbling, Tom turned around. As his gaze slid past Remus’s, he gave a little twitch that may or may not have been a wink, and Remus felt his spirits rise.
---
It was stranger than she’d thought it would be, Lily realized, having Muggle pictures and Wizard pictures on a wall together. For one thing, the Muggle pictures looked duller and older, somehow, and considering that they were, for the most part, of her parents, she felt more than dissatisfied with this. For another, the people in the Wizarding photos were highly interested in the stationary Muggle pictures, and kept crowding around the corners of their frames to get a look.
–You’re messing up my aesthetics,†Lily told a frame containing a James and Sirius who were elbowing each other out of the way, craning their necks to try and see into the picture below them. Typically, they ignored her.
The pictures were only half-hung, but Lily felt bone tired, sick of not being able to do it right. Wearily, she dropped her hammer and flung herself backwards into the soft green sofa that used to sit in her parents’ living room. –Maybe Marlene’s right,†she muttered. –Maybe I should just use magic.â€
–Talking to yourself, Lily?â€
She craned her neck as the door opened, and Marlene waved at her cheekily. A moment later, Remus followed her through the door.
–Merlin, are you home already?†Lily yawned. –I’ve been doing this longer than I thought.â€
–If you used magic…†Marlene began, walking towards the kitchen, and Lily cut her off with a wave.
–I know, I know, I’d be done already. We both know that’s not the point.â€
–I like them,†Remus said unexpectedly, squinting at the pictures.
Lily scowled at him. –Yours are being difficult,†she said.
–I took those?†Remus asked, surprised, and Lily nodded.
–Most of the Wizard ones you gave me,†she said, and he looked gratified. Standing, Lily stretched her arms over her hand and turned fully to face them. –So I assume you got the job?†she said, mustering a smile.
Remus opened his mouth, but it was Marlene, appearing from the kitchen with a bottle of firewhiskey in her hand, who answered. –He did!†she said. –I think Tom even likes him!â€
–Impressive,†Lily said, grinning despite herself.
–I convinced him to come over for a drink,†Marlene said, –to celebrate. Also, you better drink while you can, because you’ll be sick of alcohol of all kinds within the week, I promise.â€
She poured them each a glass, then flicked her wand at the fireplace, where a bright fire leapt up. The three of them tapped their glasses together, then settled comfortably onto the couch again. Maybe it was the fire, or the company, but Lily felt her spirits lift.
The snow that had begun falling when Remus waited outside the Leaky Cauldron was heavier now, and it settled prettily outside the window as the fire danced higher. After awhile, Marlene glanced at her watch and swore lightly.
–It’s not that late, is it?†Lily asked, glancing over at her.
–No, not for normal people,†Marlene sighed. –But I have to be up obscenely early for work tomorrow morning.â€
Remus looked over at her sharply. –At the Cauldron?†he asked. –I thought--â€
Marlene looked suddenly guilty, and Lily laughed. –Marlene has two jobs,†she said. –Don’t tell anyone.â€
Remus furrowed his brow as he looked at them. –Why…would anyone care?â€
–Well,†Marlene said, –I don’t know that most people would, but my other job is at a bookstore. A Muggle bookstore. And I don’t think my brother would approve.â€
–Will?†Remus was startled. –But…he can’t have a problem with Muggles, can he?â€
–No, no, not like that,†Marlene said. –It’s not a blood purity thing with him. He’s just…well, he’s very concerned about safety, Will is, he takes the Statute of Secrecy very seriously. He doesn’t like unnecessary risks. And spending too much time with Muggles, well, he’d consider that a risk.â€
–Well then…not that I agree with him, but if you’re worried about making waves, then why do it?†Remus asked, tilting his head.
Marlene sighed wistfully, leaning back against the sofa. –Because,†she said, –we don’t have anything quite like it. Spellbooks, magical history books, we have more than enough of that, but Muggles, they have novels, they have poetry…they don’t have magic like we do, so they have to make their own.â€
Remus was quiet for a moment, absorbing this, and Marlene shook her head. –Listen to me,†she laughed. –I think that’s definitely my cue to go to bed. I’ll see you two tomorrow.â€
They said goodnight and she walked off, humming to herself and disappearing into her bedroom down the hall. For a moment, Lily and Remus just sat silently, Lily watching the snow and Remus watching the fire. Eventually, Lily pulled her knees up to her chest and looked at him.
–So, really,†she said. –Congratulations. I know this job search thing has been getting to you.â€
–I’d just about given up,†he admitted, inclining his head.
–Oh, please,†Lily said. –I know you. You wouldn’t have ever given up.â€
–Maybe so,†Remus said, –but I’m glad I don’t have to find out.â€
She seemed to be on the verge of a question, but then changed her mind at the last minute. –Did I tell you,†she said conversationally, –that I got a job at the Apothecary?â€
–No!†he said, turning to look at her. –How’d you manage that?â€
–Slughorn,†she admitted. –He put in a good word for me--obviously, he has some influence there, considering the amount of Potions ingredients he buys. Anyway, it means it will be really easy for me to get my hands on any ingredients I may need, you know, for a regular potion.â€
The Wolfsbane Potion hung, unspoken, between the two of them, the easy silence becoming somewhat tense. And finally, Lily looked at him and asked, –So, does Tom…know?â€
Remus looked unconsciously over his shoulder towards Marlene’s door before looking back at Lily and lowering his voice. –Yeah,†he admitted. –He was surprisingly okay with it.â€
Lily blinked at him, her eyes looking unusually large in the dim lighting.
–What?†he asked her, laughing self-consciously.
She shook her head. –I just hope that one day you’ll stop being so surprised when you hear that.â€
Remus didn’t say anything, and it was in a softer tone that, a moment later, Lily said, –You could tell her, you know.â€
Remus sent one fleeting glance down the hall towards Marlene’s room. –No,†he said finally. –No, I don’t think I can.†Then he shook his head like a dog shaking off water and rose to his feet. –It’s late,†he said, staring into the fireplace again. –I should get home. Mind if I use your Floo Powder?â€
She let it go, standing beside him and reaching for the pot above the fireplace. –Of course not,†she said.
He smiled wanly at her. –Thanks, Lil,†he said, resting his hand briefly on her shoulder, then letting it fall into the pot for a pinch of powder.
–Goodnight,†she whispered after he had tossed the powder into the fire and vanished with the smoke.
Restlessly, she eyed the pictures dotting the wall before her, and the pile of them still on the ground. She picked up her hammer, then paced up and down the floor, not knowing how to settle her thoughts. Maybe everyone has the right idea, she thought. Maybe I should just go to bed.
She was on the verge of doing just that when she heard, so faintly she thought at first she imagined it, a faint knock on the door. Instinctively, her hand went to the wand in her back pocket--it was a bit late for houseguests, but then, what Death Eater would knock? Still, it was with no small amount of suspicion that she edged towards the door.
When she cracked open, it was to see James on the other side of the threshold, just turning to leave.
–James?†she whispered, as much in shock as trying not to wake the neighbors.
–Hi,†he said tentatively, almost as though he didn’t think he was welcome. –Hi. I thought maybe you were asleep, I’m sorry.â€
She shook her head. –Not even close. I’m hanging pictures. What are you doing here?â€
–I know it’s late,†he murmured. –It just felt…it feels like I haven’t seen you in a very long time. And, well. I wanted to.â€
–Yeah,†she said, a bit dazed. –It does.â€
And it did--it felt like it had been months since she’d seen him on the other side of her door, even longer since they’d been alone together, and even though he was here, now, standing in front of her, she felt the sudden pang of missing him.
–Well,†she said briskly, shaking it off and straightening her spine. –Come in, then.â€
James looked oddly relieved, as though he’d honestly thought she might not let him in. He followed her into her apartment, shrugging off his coat as he went. The shoulders were covered in a dusting of snow, and more was dusting his hair. He must’ve walked, Lily realized, and resolved to make him Apparate or at least Floo back…this was no time to be catching a cold…
He was standing now before her half-completed wall of photos, his hands clasped loosely behind his back, and she came to stand beside him, trying to look at the photos through his eyes. There were plenty, of course, of the two of them--together and not, many joined by Remus and Sirius and Peter. One in the bottom corner showed the four boys wrestling, and at the moment, unusually, Peter was the winner, sitting victoriously atop the tangled pile of James, Sirius, and Remus, who all blinked up at him in bemusement. There were a few of Lily and Marlene, and some with Mary Macdonald and Alice Rourke, and one of Marlene and Will that Lily had only grudgingly allowed. In the middle was a still Muggle photo of Lily’s parents, and another of Lily and Petunia that Lily had debated about hanging up for hours. She still wasn’t sure she was going to leave it there. And there were more, still, to be hung. She watched as James noted the pile of nails by the table, the hammer on the floor, and the stacks of gilded frames.
He didn’t ask why she was hanging so many. He didn’t ask why she was doing them by hand, without magic. He didn’t ask why she was still awake or staring at a wall full of memories or as silent as he. Instead, his eyes found the next spot on the wall she’d marked with a pencil and, gracelessly, his lower lip between his teeth, he bent to pick up the hammer and a nail and, slowly, as quietly as possible, began to tap it into the wall.
Silently, she bent beside him, reaching for a picture. The first one she touched was one she’d taken with a Muggle camera, of James sitting at a table with his father, the two of them laughing uproariously about something, caught and immobile in the moment. With a quick glance at him, she set it aside for the moment--it wasn’t time, not yet. Instead, she picked up the one below it.
She’d taken this one as well, but it was a Wizard photo this one, showing the wide expanse of the Hogwarts grounds and the Forbidden Forest. Part of the Quidditch pitch was visible in the corner, and the James in the photo was, in fact, wearing Quidditch gear, but his broom was tossed off to one side. Instead of flying he was running back and forth, laughing, playing with a giant black dog. As she watched, the dog crouched over his massive forepaws, his tail waving above his back, and James tackled him, wrestling him to the ground.
Satisfied, Lily stood, bringing the picture with her. James looked down at it and a smile ghosted across his face. He reached for it, and together, shoulder-to-shoulder, they positioned it on the wall. Lily tilted her head, adjusted the frame, stepped back. James moved beside her as she did, and she felt, light as snow, his fingertips fall softly against the small of her back. For awhile they just stood here, and she thought, maybe, the pictures looked right after all.
World Enough by Willow Rosenberg
Chapter Notes:"Let's all pack up, move this year
Slip the lines and disappear
Leave memories for auctioneers
And those just standing still."Matt Nathanson, "Heartbreak World"
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