Dear Al,
It feels like forever since we've talked, even if it has only been a few short weeks since Christmas and you went back to Romania to work with Uncle Charlie. Some days, I still can't believe you went ahead with that. You never seemed all that brave to me! (Except when you beat up Alexander Jones for me. That was pretty awesome stuff.)
So what's new over in Romania? There's absolutely nothing going on here. With everyone gone besides Hugo and Emma, the castle has been pretty quiet. Actually, we've been thinking up a plan to put some life back into this place. Nothing too big and explosive, obviously. Other than that, Quidditch practises are up and running again and classes are as boring as ever. (Why I thought NEWT level History of Magic was a good idea, I'll never know.)
You'll never guess who got hired here over the holidays. Well, you might have already heard, but I'll tell you anyway. Madam Pomphrey finally retired and they decided to bring in Teddy! You have no idea how excited I am about this. It's just like having a brother at the castle, only this time it's better, because I won't have to worry about him hexing any boy who so much as looks at me. (You know that Cameron Wood still won't look at me, right? Do you have any idea how gorgeous that boy is? He was totally going to ask me out and you just had to ruin it.) Plus, it's Teddy. He was in enough trouble at Hogwarts to know not to ask too many questions when I show up with odd injuries.
Hope Romania is fun and that you aren't missing everyone too much. Except for me. You'd better be crying yourself to sleep over how much you miss me.
Love from,
Lily
*
Lily-
In case you forgot, Care of Magical Creatures was the only class I ever got an O in. Didn’t Hagrid tell you lot of how I became a legend when I touched a Blast-Ended Skrewt on a dare? Long story short, I was pretty damn lucky the thing decided not to sting me. (See, I’m very brave. You’re just not generally the type of person I go beast-mode around. I can’t scar my little sister’s innocent eyes.) (Oh, and that little twerp was asking for it, Lily.)
I’m sorry I haven’t had time to write you, either. Romania has been busy, especially since one of the Horntails decided it would be a good time lay eggs. You know what’s worse than an angry dragon? A protective one. I swear to Merlin one of these days a dragon is going to escape and kill us all. On the subject of insane beasts, why didn’t you tell me the she-devil was coming to the reserve? I believe your friendship with her (surprisingly normal) little sister would have allowed you to at least warn me. On her first day, she nearly got me burnt to a crisp.
Now onto a serious matter. Why on earth would you take History of Magic as a N.E.W.T.? Unless you really needed a time to take a nap in, I don’t know why you would bother taking that subject. It doesn’t even matter, right? It’s not like you need to know the dates of the millionth goblin revolution to kick some bad wizard’s arse. Oh, and if you ever need any prank help, just send me an owl. I’d love to help get Professor Zabini’s knickers in a twist just a few more times. Don’t cause too much trouble, though, or Mum will have both our heads.
I heard Teddy was going to take the job, actually. I just decided not to tell you so I could see, or rather read, your reaction. I still remember when you were thirteen and fancied him to the point you turned red every time he entered the room. I have some great pictures from that year… Anyway, he’ll be great at the job, and that Wood bloke is sketchy. I don’t like him, and he better not look at you.
That’s all for now; I should go and stop the demon from pissing off the dragons.
Al
*
Dear Al,
There is a very fine line between bravery and stupidity, and touching a Blast-Ended Skrewt falls under the latter. Besides, the Blast-Ended Skrewt probably thought that you were too smelly to sting. (And by the way, my eyes are definitely not innocent. Just because I don't tell you about things. Also, you're way too scrawny and pretty to have a beast mode.)
Your dragons sound like Mum. Uncle George says she used to be so adventurous and reckless but that after James had an accident when he was two (Did you know about that? It can't have been that terrible. All he has to show for it is a faint scar under his chin.), she turned into a mother bear, just like Nana.
As for the "she-beast", it really wasn't any of your business. There's nothing wrong with her. I mean, she's a little high strung, but she's otherwise fine. She's Emma's second best friend (after me, of course). You two are going to have a grand old time with dragons and limited company *wink*.
History of Magic. There are a lot of interesting topics in that class! I mean, yeah, there are still a lot of goblin wars, but all of those are pretty much the same. In between though, we learn lots of cool stuff, like about Flamel and the Founders. Plus, there are only three people in that class, Cameron, Lysander, and I, so we can't get away with napping.
Now why would I ask you for prank help? All of your pranks are a little too tame, I think. I was the one with the real power to get Zabini's knickers in a knot. But I'll include you just to make you feel better about yourself. (*hugs* You do know I love you, right?) Though, actually, we should do something huge, just to get Mum going. That's always a fun time, and totally worth having to clean the Hospital Wing for detention.
Speaking of the Hospital Wing, I definitely did not fancy Teddy when I was thirteen. I was red because I had a sunburn! Merlin, you don't think he thought I fancied him, do you? That'd be absolutely horrifying, especially given that it's not true! And those pictures need to be disposed of instantly!
As for Cameron, he is quite honestly the most gorgeous guy I've ever met (have you seen his eyes?). He is an amazing Captain, but it's annoying because he never corrects anything I do wrong, as he won't look at me. I tried that thing where I purposely do things wrong, so he'll have to touch me to fix it, but he doesn't even notice! I may just have to flirt with him after practise someday.
Have fun with the demon. I know you love working with her. I mean, at least she's cute, even if she resembles a grumpy cat sometimes. She's pretty and smart and you're lucky to be working with her!
Time for practise, and flirting!
Love,
Lily
*
Lily-
No absolutely not. No boys for you until you are at the very least twenty-five. The ones at Hogwarts are all good-for-nothing little shits, anyway, and I wouldn't trust one of them. They are not looking for hand-holding, Lily, and you are far too innocent for anything more. (And you are not allowed to fancy Cameron. If I need to I will haul my 'pretty' arse to England and beat the crap out of him again, because let me be honest, if you need to act like an idiot to try to get him to notice you, it's not worth it. Don't chase after him, because he's a flaming imbecile, and he would be no match for your macho, muscular, ripped-from training-dangerous-dragons older brother).
Speaking of flaming imbeciles, do I have a story for you about the she-beast. And, no, I will not call her anything but that, because she is not cute. She's not a cute 'grumpy cat', she's a grumpy flaming mountain lion. I honestly think the motherly dragon is politer than her on a good day. (Oh, and Mum was like that. Ask Uncle George more about what she did in the war; it explains how she's so damn scary when she's mad. I think she did tell me that James got that scar trying to eat this Muggle thing at Uncle Dudley's house, I think it was called a stapler). Anyway, so I was given the horrible punishment of teaching the demon how to feed the adolescent Welsh Greens (and moody, teenage dragons are not fun to deal with), and Elise - I mean she-demon - decided it was a good idea to try to just walk right up to them, even though they don't know her. I, of course, played the hero and tackled her to the ground before she was burned to death, even though it would have been slightly amusing. Honestly, who would be that stupid? But that just pisses her off, and she walks right up to one of them and dumps the feed sack at its feet, before calling me some choice words that I will not repeat to my younger sister.
It gets better, though. I had to tell Charlie about it, and - even though it's her bloody fault - he sends us out to buy more supplies. We were walking through town on our way back, having split up to just buy the damn things and get back, when suddenly she falls. Into a huge mud spot. Lily, you should have seen her face; I've never seen her that shocked, not even when I put that pygmy puff down her shirt. I should do that again. She hates them... Right. So she had just fallen in this huge mud spot, and was flailing about, trying to get out. Being the gentleman I was, I offered to help her up, but of course she was suspicious. Her muddy hand just happened to slip out of mine, though, and she went back in with a splat. Again, I will not repeat the words she said to my baby sister. Then, she dragged me down with her! Long story short, it dissolved into a full-fledged fight. I can assure you, dear sister, that I was victorious. And the she-beast has avoided me ever since.
(Of course I love you, little sis. I kind of have to; I was stuck with you when Mum and Dad decided a brilliant son (and James) weren't enough for them.)
Al
P.S. It was winter, Lily, when those beautiful blackmail photographs were taken, so I can assure you that you did indeed fancy Teddy. Or do you still? *wink*
P.P.S. History of Magic still sounds agonizingly painful. It's your fault for putting yourself through it.
*
Dear Al,
I think your rule of no boys until I'm twenty-five is a bit of a stupid one. There is nothing wrong with boys. They are fun and way less dramatic than girls. Not all of the boys at Hogwarts are like that! There are some really sweet ones, like Mason Anderson, who's always willing to go for walks around the lake with me, or Lysander, who edits my Music History essays in return for me editing his. I really don't think either of them have anything in mind other than friendship, so there's no need to worry. But please explain to me what boys have in mind, because I certainly have no idea. Who wouldn't want hand holding (or a snog in the corridor)? Besides, James says it's about time I date and that I can't hide from boys forever (even though I'm not the one hiding, they are... from you!).
As for Cameron, I really don't see why you are against me fancying him in the first place. You never did tell me why you beat the poor boy up in the first place. I didn't have to be an idiot for him to notice me until you did whatever you did to him. He was so close to asking me on the next Hogsmeade day, I just know it, and you had to interfere and do whatever you did. He's such a sweet guy, and such a looker. (And he could so take you on -- have you noticed that he's pretty macho and muscular himself?)
I really don't see how you don't find Elise cute. I love her hair. Seriously, it falls into perfect ringlets. For your information, a mountain lion is indeed a cat, so by calling her a "grumpy flaming mountain lion" you are actually calling her a grumpy cat. (I must ask Granddad what a stapler is...or just ask Dad. Maybe you could use it as a weapon.) You know, you always describe the dragons so terribly. Mother dragons are impolite (are dragons ever polite in the first place?), young dragons are moody. Why do you deal with dragons when they are all cranky?
As for "the she-demon" (I see you called her by her first name!), was tackling her some weird way of telling her that you would like to tackle her in more ways than one? And I'm glad you saved Elise. Neville has been through enough without having a kid being burned to a crisp (even if you don't like her).
Uncle Charlie was right to send you and Elise together! You two clearly need some bonding time together. (By the way, was this your punishment, because it's not very terrible at all.) Now, Albus, did she fall or did you cast a silent tripping charm and send her flying into the mud puddle? (You shoved a Pygmy Puff down her shirt?! Down the front? Were you trying to check out her boobs? You sly thing! It better not have been the Pygmy Puff I gave you before you left!) And you two were rolling around in the mud? Oh you scandalous boy! I never took you for that kind, but to each their own! You know if she's avoiding you, that means she's avoiding her feelings...avoiding her feelings of like for you!
Of course Mum and Dad needed a third child - they needed a beautiful, perfect in every way, amazing daughter. Two boys would be terrible, wouldn't it? Who would Dad have doted on?
And by the way, Albertosaurus, you can get sunburns in the winter. It is possible. I so did not like Teddy. I mean, ew, he's like a brother. Plus he's old. And even if I did fancy him then, I do not fancy him now. That would be just so inappropriate. Plus, his hair has been a boring sandy colour all week and his eyes have been just plain, boring blue.
Love, your perfect sister,
Lily
*
My dear, deranged little sister-
I must clarify a few things, so you don't run around with deluded ideas inside that pretty little head of yours. I guess the she-demon is attractive enough. However, so is a Veela. It doesn't mean that they don't turn into a rampaging elephant at the flip of a coin! Honestly, she is horrible, and needs to be taken down quite a few pegs. She gets so bloody angry at me all the time, and I haven't done anything, but Charlie always blames it on me. It's like I'm back at primary school, and you know how well that went for me. (And of course I saved her; Neville wouldn't even have had the chance to murder me after Charlie was be through with me).
You have a much dirtier mind than I expected, little Lily. I'm honestly torn between laughing and screaming at you, because:
A. I shoved the Pygmy puff down the back of her shirt, honestly. I'm pretty sure she'd throw me into the dragon cave if I so much as glanced there. Not that I want to. *shudders*
B. You and I have very different ideas of mud-fight. Apart from, I'm much classier than doing that in the middle of the street. I can't speak for Elise, though ...
C. Me, bonding with her? You've got to be bloody kidding me, Lily. You heard how well it went the first time, and we can't even be in the same room without trying to kill each other! I'm so glad Charlie separated our duties, now.
I describe dragons like that because there's honestly no other way. They're a lot like people, except bigger and scarier. It's fascinating being able to observe them; I can picture what they do happening in our house, apart from the random bits of fire. They're such powerful creatures, but it's like they don't know that. I know they don't mean to burn us. I don't get why they're scared of us, though, because we're not the ones with the spikes or tails. I guess they think we're the odd ones.
Now, onto the boys. Sweet little friendships are okay (though I really think the Scamander bloke is shady), but not Cameron. I don't know what the hell James was on when he said you should start dating, but I need to have a serious conversation with him. I beat him up because he's a cocky little shitballl who needs to learn some respect, and honestly, I'd rather you dated anyone, even Teddy (wink), before him. Actually, Teddy agrees with me on this. I would beat him up again if I could, and I am just as (if not more) muscular than him. You saw me at Christmas; I've got some serious pecks now. He's just acting sweet and he'd better not ask you to Hogsmeade.
Lily, I know you like to think you're being clever, but please stop the innuendos. I can't handle hearing them from you, and about her nonetheless. I could start up on Teddy; while you can get sunburnt in the winter, you personally do not. And how does that explain the valentine I found you never actually sent him? 'I love your hair, and your eyes are so unfair!' I think you should talk to him, though; I think he and Vic broke up. (And he can't exactly walk around with turquoise hair at school).
Al
P.S. Age is but a number. You can fancy him if you want (actually, you two would be sickeningly sweet). And I can trust him, unlike Mr. Shady Cameron.
Dragons and Teddy Bears by Maple_and_PheonixFeather, iLuna17
Story Notes:
A huge thank you to The owl (aka Sophie) for a fabulous beta job on this :)
Chapter Endnotes: Reviews are music to the fanfic writer's ear ;)