Lily winces as her mother ties the ribbon on the back of her dress robes a bit too tightly. This does nothing to soothe her already tumultuous insides as they scream for her to crawl back into bed and pretend that today never happened. Of course, it is going to go on without her, whether she likes it or not.
–Good thing Victoire isn’t the jealous type, or she’d make you wear a potato sack,†Ginny said as she smooths an imaginary flyaway from Lily’s meticulous coif. –You’ll be the prettiest girl in the room.â€
Devoid of the energy to contradict her mother, Lily sighs. –I suppose we should get going. I don’t think they’d start without one of the bridesmaids, but we both know how much Aunt Fleur hates it when people are late.â€
A smile tugs on Ginny’s lips. –And you know Teddy wouldn’t hear of you missing his wedding. You’re his favourite goddaughter, after all.â€
–I’m his only goddaughter,†Lily replies automatically to the ancient joke that has played between Teddy and Lily for a decade and a half — ever since she was three years old and talking up a storm.
–Then all the reason to get moving, then.†Ginny opens the door. –Come on. Your dad and brothers are probably crawling up the walls waiting on us.â€
Nodding, Lily follows her mum from the room and downstairs. She almost can’t stomach the broad smile on Harry’s face as she enters the foyer. –So that’s what you two were up to for almost three hours.†Harry gingerly pats Lily’s shoulder as he eyes her neatly arranged attire dutifully. –You look great, kiddo.â€
James impatiently kicks the heel of his shoe into the doorframe. –Can we please go, now? Ted needs me, I’m his best man.â€
–Well, you know the way,†Ginny says as she shoos James and Albus towards the door. –You too, Harry.â€
As the men filter out, Ginny takes Lily’s hand and looks at her intently. –I don’t know what happened or why you don’t seem to want to go, but you can do this.†With a nod of encouragement, she adds, –Now, shift.â€
Not sure how her mother knows anything about what keeps her from feeling anything but dread because of the upcoming wedding, Lily forces a smile and complies. A few hours. Just a few hours, and this will all be over.
They arrive at the Apparition point and soon are in the midst of a bustling lobby, where ushers (well, a host of Lily’s and Victoire’s more presentable cousins) hurriedly direct guests to their seats. Lily moves past the crush and towards the back rooms, where Victoire’s bridal suite is. Taking one last pleading glance at her mother, Lily forgets to breathe when she only sees Ginny mouth the words, –Good luck!â€
Once she escapes the influx of wedding-goers, Dominique — Victoire’s sister and maid of honour &mddash; yanks Lily into a small antechamber and holds her fingers up to her lips. –Listen,†she whispers. Dominique touches her wand to the plaster, and the sound of angry murmuring sinks through the walls. –Victoire is having a meltdown right now because of you! You’re an hour late!â€
Lily bites her lip. –I’m sorry! I . . . I couldn’t get my hair right, and my mum had to help with the robes and kept fiddling.†Well, Lily likes to tell herself that’s what happened, but her hair debacle was primarily self-inflicted, and Ginny hadn’t come in until Lily was already tardy. However, Dominique doesn’t need to know that, Lily thinks. The sister of the bride doesn’t have to find out that one of the bridesmaids would rather be dragged over hot coals and dunked in stinksap than come to this wedding.
–Just remember,†Dominique warns, her kohl-lined eyes narrowing ominously, –if she loses it, I’m blaming you.â€
Not able to hide a loud gulp, Lily nods. –Got it.â€
Without another word, Dominique corrals Lily into the bridal chamber, where Victoire is pacing while Molly and Lucy, the other two bridesmaids, are deep in discussion as they cast concerned glances at Victoire. Molly pushes her glasses higher up her nose as she scowls at Lily. –Where have you been? This is a disaster!â€
–Wardrobe issues,†Lily lies as she carefully broaches Victoire. –Vic?â€
Spinning around on her dangerously high heels, Victoire clings to Lily the moment she sees her. –Oh, thank Merlin! I thought everything was going to fall to shit.†Her voice brushing Lily’s temple, Victoire adds, –I’m so glad you’re here.â€
Lily merely stares over Victoire’s shoulder, afraid to touch any part of her elaborate robes or muss the coif that must have taken hours to sculpt. All she can imagine right now is how to escape. Not just the embrace, but the entire situation. –Sorry, Vic,†she finally manages. –You know how these things are.â€
Every word out of her mouth feels like ashes and filth, but she doesn’t dare say what is really coursing through her mind: I don’t want you to marry Teddy.
Victoire thankfully lets go and speeds off to readjust her perfect make-up yet again. –Well, we’re all ready, then.â€
In a whirlwind of music and queues and adulation from the masses, the wedding commences. One by one, her older cousins proceed ahead of her — first Molly, then Lucy — and Lily is the last one in before Dominique. She clutches her bridesmaid’s bouquet as if her life depends on it, even to the point that sap from the stems leeches out onto her purple satin gloves. And then she sees Teddy.
His hair is purple today — a perfect hue to match the trim on Victoire’s robes and the waistcoat underneath his own. He is grinning so animatedly that, for a second, Lily feels like he is truly looking at her. She stumbles ever so slightly, but no one but Aunt Fleur notices outside of a sympathetic glance from Ginny.
No, Lily tells herself. I’m not going to make an arse of myself. Even if her shoes are too snug and the hemlines of her robes are an inch or two on the long side and her hair comb feels like it is stabbing her scalp. She makes it down the aisle without further incident and takes her place on the dais, only to remember that she is positioned where she is making direct eye contact with Teddy. He catches her gaze and wags his brows excitedly, and Lily pastes a smile on her face that she is sure makes her look constipated.
When the music changes, and Victoire begins her graceful procession towards the front of the room and the love of her life. Lily sees the purple in Teddy’s hair shimmer with streaks of electric pink and she winces. His hair is always that colour when he’s with Victoire or is talking about how much he loves her.
Lily can barely keep herself from hyperventilating.
The rest of the ceremony passes in a garbled mess of syllables she chooses not to hear. Spinning wheels of black dance before her eyes as she holds in her breath, but Lily refuses to budge an inch. She’s a Potter and a Weasley and not some whining little girl, but it doesn’t stop the curdling well of resignation in her stomach. She doesn’t matter. Not today. All that matters is that Teddy is married to Victoire.
She feels like she is released from a prison sentence when she is allowed to leave. On her way out the door, she receives a few token compliments on her attire, but all the real attention settles on the gorgeous violet flower blooming beside her true love. The day is Victoire’s, as every successive day will be.
Silently, Lily counts the hours until the reception so that it can all finally end. She’s always just been Ladybug, and that will never change. It’s high time she accepts that.
Teddy Lupin is all smiles tonight. After all, it is his wedding reception, and he has just married the love of his life. Victoire Lupin has an incredible ring to it, Teddy thinks. It really does.
He looks over the gathering at their family, which has always been essentially one and the same. So many happy faces, come to see him and Victoire off on their new life together. Well, mostly happy faces. His joy falters a bit when he sees Lily Potter sitting in a shadowy corner, staring at an untouched plate of steamed vegetables.
That just won’t do, Teddy thinks. He is the host, after all, so it wouldn’t be right to leave her by herself. Confident he can make her smile like he has done since she was a baby, Teddy approaches her with a mock-serious expression. –Excuse me, young lady.â€
Lily looks up warily from her plate, and her jaw clenches when she sees who is there. –Hi, Teddy.â€
Her voice is timid and sad, and for a moment, Teddy falters, but he doesn’t recall any reason why she should be upset with him, so he soldiers on. –According to the rules set forth by the governing council of these festivities, there are to be no long faces on the premises. Therefore, you are required to report to the dance floor immediately, with a smile on any beautiful faces of which you may be in possession.â€
With a soft chuckle, Lily says with a salute, –Yes, sir!†before offering her hand. Teddy takes it and leads her to the swirling mass of fabric for a twirl or two, and perhaps a heart-to-heart chat with his little Ladybug.
–So, am I going mad, or do you have a storm cloud over your head?†Teddy asks, seeing no point in dawdling.
Lily averts her eyes. –I, um, just don’t feel very well. Sorry to be such a killjoy on your special day, but I don’t think I’d have lived down not showing up.â€
Teddy’s lips form a tight line. –Well, Ladybug, that is simply too bad. You’re going to have a good time whether you like it or not.†He bends at the waist and lowers Lily into a garishly low dip before adding, –You might even thank me for it.†With a flourish, he sweeps her back on her feet and tucks their bodies back together to continue the waltz that is currently playing.
A giggle escapes Lily before she bites her lip. –You are so ridiculous.â€
–I know,†Teddy admits with a brow wag. –But that’s why you love me.â€
As suddenly as it was there, any levity left on Lily’s face immediately drains, causing Teddy to stop in his tracks. –Come on, let’s get some air.†He takes her elbow and begins to direct her towards the patio door, but she doesn’t follow. Turning back, he repeats, –Outside?â€
She nods sullenly and follows Teddy to the garden, where only a few meandering guests who have drunk a bit too much are haphazardly groping one another. Ignoring them, he puts a finger under Lily’s chin and makes her look him in the eye. –Now, are you going to tell me what’s wrong, or do I have to break out the Veritaserum?â€
–I can’t,†Lily says, her voice cracking. –I can’t do that.â€
Stroking her cheek with his thumb, Teddy says, –’Course, you can. Whatever you say doesn’t leave the boundaries of these bushes, I promise on my word as an Auror and your godfather. Now, will you please tell me why you look like you’re going to cry at any second?â€
Teddy can see her breaking down, and he pulls her tightly to his chest. –Shh,†he croons, stroking her hair like she has only scraped an elbow. –Whoever it is, I’ll knock him on is arse so hard he’ll see stars.â€
–No!†Lily squeaks. –You don’t understand, how could you?†She pushes away from him and points at him. –If you’re going to knock someone out, start with this guy, because he’s the only one who can break my heart!â€
Staring at Lily in shock, Teddy stammers, –I — I don’t understand.â€
Lily rolls her eyes. –Of course, you don’t! We wouldn’t be here if you did.†Grabbing Teddy by the back of the neck, she yanks his head down and kisses him hard before shoving him away. –I waited for you!â€
–What?†Teddy mouths as his jaw hangs slack.
–I’ve been in love with you since I was twelve, but you never looked at me twice! I never expected you to, either. I just waited to grow up for you to finally see me the way I saw you, but you never did. You just married her and left me alone!†Lily’s face crumples. –I love you, Teddy Lupin, but I hate you!â€
Lily wheels around and storms towards the gates, leaving Teddy stupefied and completely thrown for a loop. As she Apparates away from the reception, away from him, he has a feeling that something else has been lost and he might never get it back. As he looks up at the glittering night sky, a tear slips down his cheek. He isn’t sure he can smile again tonight.
Teddy nearly jumps when a hand slides onto his shoulder. –What’s wrong, love?†Victoire asks as she slips her arm into his, leaning her head on his shoulder.
–I . . . I’m not sure I can explain it, really.†Turning towards his brand new bride, Teddy searches her eyes — the ones that shine with tears during sad love songs, that sparkle when she laughs and cloud with passion when they’re together. She must not have seen what transpired between him and Lily, and for this he is thankful.
Lacing his fingers with hers, Teddy sighs. –I have something I need to do. I’ll be right back, I promise.†He pecks her quickly on the lips before losing his nerve and Apparates to a familiar spot. The purple gloves amidst the fallen leaves tell him he’s in the right place. It has always been their place, their hideaway underneath the stars. James and Albus had never held much interest in a swing, but Lily spent hours upon hours on it as a child, kicking her legs higher and higher until she could see nothing but sky.
Her legs are still now. They hang limply above the tips of the grass, her shoes discarded. Fingers flex on ropes, but her head never raises to look at him. Yet he knows that she is aware of his presence. –Lily,†he says simply.
–You shouldn’t be here,†she replies, her voice mousy and small. –She’s waiting for you.â€
Teddy strides through the crunching leaves and positions himself behind her. With a gentle push, he guides the swing into motion. –Yes, she is, but she can wait.†As the swing lunges back towards him, he gives it a stronger shove. –There’s someone else who needs me right now, and I’d be a right git if I didn’t make sure all the women I love are happy.â€
Lily flails her legs in an attempt to decelerate, but Teddy doesn’t stop pushing. –You don’t love me, Teddy, so don’t say things like that if you don’t mean it.â€
–Of course, I love you,†he says before stilling the swing with a flick of his wand. Taking her hand, Teddy helps her off the swing, and he can’t help but notice how tiny she looks without her monstrous bridesmaid heels on. –C’mon, Ladybug. Just because I don’t feel that way about you doesn’t mean I could ever stop caring about you. You’re my goddaughter and my best friend, and you’ve been beating my arse at cards since you were ten.†Lily’s reflexive chuckle eases the knot that has wormed its way into his chest. –I’ve probably loved you longer than anybody but my Gran and your dad.â€
Her hand swipes at her cheeks as she looks away from him. –It’s not the same. You know that.â€
–Yeah, I do,†Teddy says as he pulls her to his chest. –And I wouldn’t trade a minute of it for anything.†He sighs into her hair. –Truth is, you’re too good for me, Ladybug. You have to admit, I’m not particularly observant or sensitive if I haven’t noticed how you felt all this time. You can do better.†He pulls her away and frames her face in his hand. –You’re going to find someone who loves you as much as I do, and he’s going to notice you and make you feel like the only woman in the world. And if he doesn’t, he’ll answer to me.â€
Lily clenches her jaw until the skin around her face turns pink. –Never,†she gasps.
–Rubbish.†Unsure of what possesses him to do it, Teddy lowers his head and brushes her lips with his. Lily doesn’t respond at first, but soon, her arms wrap around his neck. He feels nothing but discomfort with this contact; he can’t feel anything else. Then the kiss falls apart as she begins crying into his robes, and he knows that she knows. He clutches her tightly and bites back tears of his own as he chokes, –Oh, Ladybug.â€
Whether they are there for a minute or an hour is unclear, but Lily tugs herself away and sits back down on the swing, her toes disturbing the topmost layer of autumn’s leavings. Teddy edges away before heading back to the reception, to Victoire — and away from Lily.
Teddy returns to a much less lively reception, but Victoire merely beams at him when she sees that he has returned. If anyone thinks his absence odd, no one mentions it as he sweeps his bride from the room. As far as he is concerned, the night is over, and all he wants is to hide from every probing relative and well-wisher. The night now belongs to him and his wife.
–Ready to go, Mrs Lupin?†he asks as he tucks her body neatly into his.
Victoire raises a brow. –Are you going to tell me what that was all about?â€
For a moment, Teddy considers divulging Lily’s earlier declaration to Victoire, but as soon as the idea surfaces, he squelches it. –I just wanted to make sure Lily got home all right. Poor love doesn’t feel well.â€
As he and Victoire head for their honeymoon suite, Teddy can’t help but spare a stray thought for the girl beneath the stars who won’t think he hung them in the sky anymore. However, that melancholy realisation is quickly swept away on a tide of anticipation and hunger for the life he is about to start with Victoire. He is sure Lily will feel this way some day for someone who cares about her just as much. But just not him.
And then Victoire is the only woman in the room.