DarkIsRising
The Night Will Go As Follows
2. YOU’LL FORGET ME AGAIN
She shifted from one foot to the other in the dim, gray hall that looked as though it had seen much better days. The sounds of someone’s television being turned up entirely too loud was the only noise apart from her breathing. Nervously, she regarded the equally somber-colored door and the dingy ‘47’ that hung haphazardly on it. This place was far cry from the modest cottage he had shared with Tonks. She exhaled a breath she had not known she was holding in as she placed her hand upon the doorknob. No one had seen hide or hair of Remus Lupin since he had Disapparated from the Burrow two days ago. In that span of time, Hermione had decided if he would not come out then she would just have to go in after him. The Ministry thus far had not answered any of her queries directly; rather what she heard from reporters sounded far more ominous. She doubted the Ministry would be swayed on this issue. Furthermore, Remus’ stubborn absence was not going to solve any of his problems.
And you can? the snide voice in her head said, the one that always had her second guessing her essays at Hogwarts. Do you really think he will do it?
Outwardly, she rolled her eyes and inwardly hushed her cynical side. He would have to see reason or else be thrown out on the street as a Muggle, wand snapped – or even worse. Whispers of Azkaban had begun to circulate as a punishment. At the moment, Remus seemed to be taking his chances and simply waiting for the Ministry to break down his door. It should be easy enough; her plan was foolproof. All she had to do was go in and explain to him how it was going to work out just fine. She could try to scare him into it, but she hoped he saw reason. He had to hear her out. She would not let him reduce himself to defeat so quickly. He couldn’t leave. He just couldn’t.
Gathering her courage once more, she took hold of the knob more firmly and turned it. Unsurprisingly, it was locked; nobody had been able to enter previously. Hermione raised her hand and gave a tentative knock, then a few more, louder, for good measure. No answer, yet again no shock. He had not answered the door for any of the other Order members. She even called his name a few times through the door, but without any response. Glancing up and down the hall to be sure no Muggles were watching, Hermione pulled out her wand and decided on a slightly drastic measure. Breaking in. With a mix of betrayal and good intentions, she undid the numerous non-magical locks and broke through several charms. Wincing at her devious action, she hesitantly swung the door inward and softly crossed the threshold.
The scene before her was of a cramped flat in a state of disarray. Many objects had apparently been thrown and shattered, lying broken at various edges of the room. The small kitchen had an unclean air about it as did the rest of the house as she stepped through toward the living room. That was where she found him slumped over in an armchair pulled close to a dead fire, not a single ember glowing. Numerous glittering glass bottles littered the area about his feet; all were various forms of wizard and Muggle alcohol. His hand was flung over the side and rested on a half-finished container of whiskey which seemed to her his preferred poison.
She hastened over to him, taking in his rumpled clothes, the very ones she had last seen him in. He was breathing evenly in sleep and she hoped he had not drunk himself into too deep of a stupor or by the looks of it a coma, as he did not stir once at her footsteps. The bitter smell of alcohol assaulted her nose as she bent down beside him. His hair was unkempt and his stubble gave him an even more scruffy appearance. Taking it all in, her face softened and she quietly chided, –Oh, Remus.†She removed his hand from the bottle’s neck and held on to it for a moment, savoring the warmth and the feel of his hand. Hermione then placed his left hand on his lap next to his right as a new problem stared her in the face. Getting him conscious.
Standing once more, she banished the various objects and trash in the room with a flick of her wand. Hermione glanced between the wand and Remus. To wake him magically or not? From previous experience, she knew reviving someone drunk did not only make them conscious but rather irritable (or at least in Harry’s case it did.) Time was of the essence so she placed her wand on his chest and said, –Ennervate.â€
Groggily, Remus opened his eyes, rubbing his head which Hermione suspected must be splitting with a headache. He slowly straightened out of his hunched position. At first she wondered if he would ever take notice of her, but soon he stiffened and he turned to face her. He blinked a few times before closing his eyes in obvious pain and wearily placed a hand over his face. –Hermione,†he muttered hoarsely. –What –?â€
–Never you mind,†she cut in briskly. –Now can you stand?†Hermione placed a firm grip on his arm and helped to pull him to his feet where he swayed. –I think it would be much easier to talk if you weren’t in such a state.†She began to lead his staggering figure off to another room.
–Talk?†he echoed woozily.
Hermione was having trouble keeping him up since he was several inches taller than her and heavier, though thankfully his footing was becoming steadier. –Yes,†she flung open the door, –but first a shower and something for your hangover.â€
She flicked the bathroom light on and squinted in the watery glow. Leaving him to lean up against the sink, she started the shower, turning the knob all the way to the right. Remus was still hunched against the off-white countertop as she removed his cloak then his shoes. At first he was quite acquiescing until she unbuttoned his shirt and started to yank off his trousers. That’s when the protests started but Remus was in no state to resist. Frankly escape was futile since she had a wand, so finally he was left standing in only his undershirt and boxers. If he had any sense left, he would have been properly embarrassed.
Quietly, Hermione said, –Forgive me for what I’m about to do.†Then she pushed him under the spray of water.
Remus gave a loud yelp and vaulted back, trying to escape. He sputtered as the ice-cold jet pounded down on him and soaked his meager clothing. Hermione took the opportunity of surprise to thoroughly Scourify him. Now wide-eyed, he pushed his wet hair out of his eyes and was peering at her as if he was just truly seeing her. His gaze traveled down his apparel and back up to her. –Hermione?â€
–Oh good, you’re fully awake!â€
He shivered and backed out from under the showerhead. –Was the freezing water absolutely necessary?†Remus seemed to be back to his more normal self as he crossed his arm and gave her an intense stare.
–Uh oh – yes – well. Not anymore.†She involuntarily flushed and turned the tap off. –It’s always worked on Harry and,†she paused as if fighting to say the word, –Ron.â€
–Of course,†he answered quietly. Remus made his way out of the shower and dripped steadily upon the yellowing tiles. –Towels are in the lower cabinet directly behind you and a Pepper-Up Potion will be behind the mirror.â€
Spinning about, Hermione handed a maroon towel to him and quickly averted her eyes as he started to dry himself off. She did not blame him for not going with the drying charm again. The hinged mirror swung forward with a creak. A fiery red bottle was perched on the top shelf. Carefully, she took it down, unscrewing the cap and watching as he took a large gulp of it. Steam issued forth from his ears and his face burned bright red momentarily. He reached around her to put it back and close the door securely.
–Any better?†ventured Hermione.
Remus was twisting the towel absentmindedly in knots. –Somewhat – the pounding is gone.†As though it burned, he tossed the towel down and moved past Hermione into a short hallway. –Now if you’ll excuse me. I’d rather like to put some dry clothes on.â€
Again she found herself blushing; she could feel the heat blaze up her face. This entire situation was going from bad to worse in a flash. Anxiously, she listened as she heard him shuffle about in drawers in the next room and waited for him to emerge. Flitting out into the main room once more, she nearly collided with him, fully dressed in a pair of Muggle jeans and a plain green t-shirt. He steadied her.
–We need to talk,†she said simply.
Relinquishing his grip on her shoulders, he sighed and looked away from her before answering, –I rather think that would pointless.†He turned on his heels and stalked out of the room back toward the living room he had just left earlier.
–Pointless? But your life is on the line.â€
Remus stopped and fixed her with one of his stares again. Softly, he said, –Oh, they won’t kill me; at least, I highly doubt they will.â€
–Perhaps not,†she shot back. –They’re still going to take your life away when they force you to live as a Muggle with no magic or magical contact.â€
–I’ll manage; I have for years. How else would I have been able to hold down any sort of stable income? They do not discriminate against werewolves so much out there. Tend to believe that we don’t exist.†He smiled humorlessly at his own little joke.
In a very McGonagall fashion, Hermione pursed her lips. –What about us? All of us who care about you and need you? The work yet to be done?â€
–You mean you won’t come see me as a Muggle.†Before she could begin a protest, he finished, –As for the Voldemort’s straggling lot of supporters, you are all very capable of rounding them up without me. It’s not as if I’ve been much help recently. When was the last time I went on a mission?â€
Hermione struggled to remember. –It was just last – â€
–Exactly,†said Remus, cutting through her babble.
–That is completely beside the point!†She moved toward him, resisting the urge to shake her finger at him. –Your wand, those years at Hogwarts,†her voice dropped lower, –the war. You can just walk away from magic, all you’ve ever known? From us?†Her voice was dangerously near the breaking point.
–Yes,†he stated and she felt as though her heart was starting to break into smaller and smaller pieces. –I would not burden you any longer. That’s all I’ve really done – James and Sirius, Dumbledore,†his voice became strained, –Nymphadora, but no more. I’ll go and leave you all in peace.†He sank despairingly down onto a ragged sofa cushion.
She planted herself in front of him and looked down on his hanging head. –Burden? Burden? How dare you.†Her words were fast becoming shrill. –Everything we’ve ever done for you, Remus, has been because we care for you, because we love you and you’re just going to walk away?â€
–Yes,†was his tired reply.
–How? When there’s a solution, perfectly easy - â€
Suddenly, he jumped up and nearly bowled her backwards. He looked livid at such a suggestion and its intensity caused Hermione to shrink back momentarily. He countered harshly, –There is no solution.â€
Plucking up her courage, she stood straight up, looking him square in the face. Hermione could not stop the words from coming out as a shout, –Yes! Yes there is. You just won’t accept it. You are too stubborn to realize it.â€
Her outburst had caught him by surprise and he was merely able to look at her in a vague shocked expression. Of course, the wrath of Hermione Granger had never been fully turned on him before. Seizing his momentary lapse into silence, she continued, –It’s so simple, Remus. All you have to do is get married.â€
Mutely, he was shaking his head in a ‘no’ fashion. She erased the space between them; the old hardwood creaking beneath her feet. –Marry me, Remus.†Tentatively, she reached out and took his hand in hers, giving it a gentle, reassuring squeeze. Hermione gave him a small smile as his face found hers; his expression was torn.
–I can’t. I can’t, Hermione.†He had yet to relinquish her hand. –I won’t do that to you. I won’t force such a horrible lifestyle on you.†His eyes seemed to pleading with her to understand what he was saying.
–Force?†She dropped his hand in order to wave hers in an exasperated motion. –You aren’t forcing me to do anything. I rather think I was the one who chose to come here and ask you to marry me. I came here freely.†Hermione kept pointing about for emphasis before folding her arms as if daring him to contradict her.
–Insanity. Utter insanity,†he mumbled. Remus grabbed her shoulders once more and gave her a light shake as if to wake her up. –You have no idea what you are getting into. Throwing away your reputation – indeed your very life – being a werewolf’s wife. A curse I wouldn’t wish on anyone, especially as young and promising as you. I won’t allow you to sacrifice yourself for me.â€
Hermione scowled up at him. –Oh shove it, Remus. All of that is absolutely no consequence to an already scorned Muggleborn. Doesn’t even compare with the alternative of getting your wand snapped and lifetime banishment! There are even rumors they may send you to Azkaban.†She let that sink in, but he did not back down. –I’m more than aware of your condition and what it brings, yet I am still here asking.†She could no longer hold her glare and a frustrated air replaced it. She could feel the tears prickling at the corners of her eyes.
Once more he shook his head. –Hermione, I just can’t slander you in that way. You are the brightest witch I know. I’ll not allow you to damn your existence to save mine.†She opened her mouth to retort, but he reaffirmed forcefully, –I will not!â€
Tears began to slide down her face in earnest which effectively dried him up. Hastily, she attempted to wipe them away. –But I don’t want you to go, Remus.†He was tactfully avoiding her gaze as his head hung dejectedly toward the floor as if unable to face her emotions. –And-and if it’s the fact you just couldn’t bring yourself to marry someone like me then just do it to stay. The marriage would just be in the formalities. You could go out and be with who ever you wanted until you found someone else.â€
Slick trails wound down her cheeks and she struggled to compose herself. The thought of him going out with another while leaving her, his wife, at home twisted her stomach, but if he stayed, if only he would not leave, she would bear it. Seeming to think the same thought, Remus quickly interjected, –No, if I were going to do this – this marriage, it will be proper. I will not be slinking about betraying you – someone – like that. I would not take such vows lightly.â€
She perceived the words as a challenge because she shot back, –Neither would I.â€
Guilt scrawled across his features, Remus produced a handkerchief out of the air and lightly dabbed at the last wayward tears that slipped out and down her face. Before he knew what had happened, she had enveloped him in a fierce hug and her petite body shook with renewed sobs. –How long?†her brittle voice sounded from around his chest.
–Two weeks,†he answered gravely, patting her back.
–Only two weeks,†she repeated faintly. –You will consider it then?â€
–I will do no such thing.â€
She peeled herself off him, leaving a damp spot where her tears had stained his shirt a darker green. Something flashed in her eyes and her mouth set into a line once more. –And do they sell Wolfsbane in Muggle grocery stores? Because the last I checked they don’t. You won’t be able to find the ingredients to make it in any market; Muggles don’t put much stock in pixie wings or salamander hearts. How will you get it? Me?†She raised her eyebrows. –I rather thought you were just going to leave us all behind.â€
Reaching inside her pocket, she pulled forth three venomous lime bottles. Since Snape’s death, she had been the Order’s potion maker and had steadily supplied Remus with his vital concoction. She floated them over to the kitchen counter. The full moon was a week away and getting him the bottles was going to be her backup plan should he refuse to let her in. Hermione had opted to break in anyway. –You won’t have any potion or friends that are an Animagus, Remus. Only some man-made structure between you and the Muggles. Then they’ll throw you in Azkaban for sure if get out.â€
Clearly, he had not thought of that yet, not that he had much opportunity being thoroughly sloshed the past two days. –Surely, the Ministry has taken this into consideration.â€
–No, no they haven’t! They never think before passing these horrible discriminating laws. They never take into consideration the fact that they are dealing with people, with lives. The Ministry is only looking out for its best interests and I’m trying to look out for yours. Remus, please, don’t leave. Not just because of the Wolfsbane – I swear I’d get it to you–, no one wants to see you go. I lo–†But Hermione stopped suddenly as if someone had just cut her vocal cords, looking stricken. Her hands flew to her mouth. The shock sent her startling backwards.
Again she had resumed crying and this time she waved him off, backing toward the door. He reached out for her, but she was moving away too fast. He could barely hear her choke out, –Please just consider.â€
She wrenched open the door and could barely see him do the same as the tears welled up again in her brown eyes. Insane, he was right; she was insane. What she had almost said. Her head ached and she did not know what was going on anymore. Everything was so confusing. Not even caring about the Muggles, she Disapparated with a smart pop and promptly collapsed onto the floor of her flat.