Pills and Potions
A face full of mirth. Red streaks of light. Crumbling pillars. Screams. High cruel laughter.
Katie sat up, heart pounding, her fingers automatically rubbing her temples. They slid down her cheeks slowly as her breathing regulated, but the awful buzz beneath her skin only heightened. Without a second thought, Katie grabbed the container off her nightstand and attempted to screw off the cap. When her hands failed, she gave a frustrated sigh.
–Come on,†she whispered to the lid, arms shaking, fingers spasming. The cap finally gave way, but the force caused the container to go flying. A cascade of tiny pills spilled onto the floor. Instead of cleaning it up, Katie only sank back into her pillow, her anxiety tapering off. There wasn’t any need to panic, no need to depend on Muggle pills to take away the pain. It was just a nightmare. Nightmares couldn’t hurt her.
A deep sense of loss stole through her, and she turned her head to stare at the scattered pills. They lay silently in the darkness, innocent and small. Katie delicately picked one out, turning it over in her fingers. How easy it would be to just swallow one… After a few seconds, Katie picked the bottle up and scooped the pills into it. Not today.
She attempted to close her eyes, to fall back into her slumber, but the flashes of her dream still remained. Instead, she climbed out of bed and crawled to the window, deciding to watch the sunrise. Katie could make out the faintest shade of pink just over the mountain, reminding her of the puffskeins from the Weasleys’ joke shop. Those animals had been close to the love potion area. Love potion. Love. Fred. A shared smile in the busy halls…
Unexpectedly, she looked back to the innocuous bottle on her nightstand. She could feel something within her attempting to reach for it, but she resisted. She wasn’t going down this path today.
Unable to cope with the silence of her bedroom, Katie quickly left the window side and headed for the kitchen. She manually turned on the lights, despite the fact that her wand happened to be on the kitchen table. Her wand seemed to glare at her, as though it hated her for leaving it in another room. She picked it up and moved it to where she wouldn’t be able to see it. It hurt to even think about magic.
The kitchen was silent as well, and Katie turned on the water just for a semblance of sound, but it didn’t soothe her. The demons inside her were starting to screech and her heart beat to some tuneless melody that existed only in the ether of her mind.
She opened her fridge, hoping the sight of food would appease the fiends now howling their concentrated rage. On the third shelf, there was a pack of Firewhiskey, missing half its bottles. In fact, Katie mused, all that was in her fridge was Firewhiskey. Firewhiskey and a chunk of lemon poppy seed cake.
She reluctantly faced the area where her wand was hidden, but as she wondered what spell could bring her food, she remembered that magic couldn’t produce food out of thin air.
Cake and Firewhiskey. What a breakfast.
Katie pulled both items out and set them on the table. As she grabbed a fork, she tried to remember when she had bought the cake. Or did someone bring it over? Her memories were hazy; all she could remember were flashes of faces, spurts of sound, and the sensation of drowning.
The Firewhiskey flickered as she popped the cap, startling her. A sudden flash of red light appeared, and somewhere there was maniacal laughter. Shaking her head, Katie raised the drink to her lips. For some reason, she paused, her eyes glassing over as she stared off into space. But as quickly as she had stopped, she just as quickly drank the fiery liquid. Within seconds, the bottle was almost empty.
The liquid burned her insides, curling around her empty stomach. The demons stopped screaming, and smoke began to drift into her mind.
Stoically, Katie ate the cake, her insides still on fire. When the last of the crumbs were gone, she opened another bottle. The drink flamed her tongue, her throat, her heart, her lungs. It smoldered the recently eaten cake, until all that was left was ash, and her stomach whined, whimpered, begged for more.
The sound of the water running crashed into her skull. There was the roar of a waterfall followed by a sudden onset of fireworks that crackled and popped her eardrums. There were screams, crumbling pillars, laughter, bodies slamming against the wall.
In a fit of pique, Katie heaved the bottle of Firewhiskey at the sink. She swiped the rest of the pack off the table. Glass shards flew everywhere, and she could swear that she heard every tinkling of glass as it crashed and skipped across the floor. Firewhiskey sizzled as it contacted with cabinet doors and rugs. She watched as each individual drop of her drink splattered against all the surfaces.
An onset of quietness hung in the atmosphere for a beat, and then Katie rushed out of the kitchen. She rushed down the hall and rushed towards her bedroom. She rushed to the nightstand, almost collapsing against it in relief. Her fingers greedily twisted the cap of the container and out poured pill upon pill. She deftly swiped four into her mouth, and she swallowed. She continued to gulp long after the pills had reached her stomach, where the Firewhiskey set them aflame and swiftly drowned them.
She regretted it. Her eyes stared at the tiny pills innocently spread across the nightstand, and all she could think was that she had given in.
A flash of red. A face full of mirth. Fred lifted into the air like a marionette without strings.
Katie slammed her head against the stand, sobs surfacing with a hint of fiery tears. She slammed her head again and again and again. Why? Why? Why?
Outside the sky was flushed a deep pink, the color of those love potions and those squirrely puffskeins. Just a hint of yellow—a hint of liquid luck—spread over the mountains. Katie crawled to the window, anxiety buzzing once more beneath her skin. Sunlight glinted off her whiskey tears. She tried to feel peace, to somehow obtain that sense of hope from a coming dawn. But all she felt was a fiery belly. All she felt was deepening guilt and a sense of drowning. All she felt was emptiness and loss.
And it only seemed to worsen with the rising sun.
Pills and Potions by Nagini Riddle
Story Notes:
I must send an infinite amount of virtual stars to my awesome beta, Vicki/Oregonian.
Chapter Endnotes: Review, anyone? Anyone? Bueller... Bueller..?