Chapter 2
Moody chuckled to himself as he recalled the events of the following week.
On Monday evening, an anonymous letter to the editor was printed in the Prophet. It read:
To the editor,
I wish to extend my gratitude to Wilfred Weatherby for his excellent article on goblin relations published on Friday. Thanks to his remarkable writing style and an old bottle of absinthe, I’m now in a relationship with a ruggedly handsome Auror.
Thank you.
Sincerely,
Not lonely anymore.
Dorcas had sent it in for a joke, of course, and she and Alastor had a nice chuckle over Weatherby’s pompous reply.
Moody did not expect anyone else to read the letter, but the gossip-loving secretary in the Auror office picked that day of all days to read the paper cover-to-cover. She brought a copy to work and asked a couple of her friends if they knew the identity of the ‘ruggedly handsome Auror’ in question.
By lunchtime, the younger Aurors had heard about the mystery and were gathered at a table in the Ministry cafeteria discussing possible candidates. Moody was eating with them, but he kept quiet.
They quickly ruled out most of the older men in the office, as most of them were married. Andrew Davis reasoned, –Not saying anyone wouldn’t go behind his wife’s back, but it’s not something to write the paper about.â€
–But what about Smith and Pringle?†asked Frank Longbottom, referencing the two unmarried Senior Aurors.
–Smith’s been in St. Mungo’s for a week,†Alice Campbell reminded them.
Davis said, –Oh a hospital romance. Just picture it - he’s bored out of his mind and a hot nurse comes in - –
Campbell cut him off. –He’s unconscious.â€
–Oooo kinky!†Davis exclaimed.
Jake Whyn, who was sitting next to Davis on the cafeteria bench, playfully shoved him. Unfortunately this caused Davis to spill his drink, which effectively ended their conversation.
Later, Moody overheard them (minus Campbell, who was taking part in a raid on a potioneer suspected of selling controlled substances on the black market) discussing the mystery some more in the breakroom
–It’s not Pringle. I asked him about the article, and it was news to him. He always strokes his beard when he’s lying, so I know he was telling the truth,†Longbottom recounted.
Whyn said, –And Davis and I have been watching the older blokes. None of them appear to have recently started philandering.â€
–At least not with absinthe-swilling, newspaper-writing lonely old ladies,†Davis amended.
Moody suppressed a chuckle at this.
–This is frustrating,†said Davis. –It’s the biggest office mystery since that day back in August when Moody came in covered in purple lipstick and missing part of his ear.â€
–And I at least had the decency to fill you in about the hag in question after they re-attached my ear,†Moody spoke up. He wondered what they would do if they realized he was behind this mystery as well. Deciding it would be more fun to tell Dorcas about if they remained clueless, he added, –Remember your training. When you’ve eliminated all the likely possibilities, try the unlikely ones.â€
–But that just leaves us,†said Davis.
–And Campbell,†Whyn added.
–She’s a lot of things,†Frank Longbottom remarked, –but no one would call her ‘ruggedly handsome.’â€
–True,†said Davis. –Guess that rules you out too, Whyn. You’re more of the baby-faced cutie type.â€
Whyn rolled his eyes. He was the rookie, but he was doing so well in the program that he was only vulnerable to teasing about his youthful looks. Said teasing happened so often that even Whyn was getting bored of it.
Davis continued, –Well, it’s not me - I don’t do relationships. And we know it’s not Longbottom, since he fancies -â€
Longbottom loudly shushed him.
–What?†said Davis. –It’s not like she can hear you; she’s out on a raid in Diagon Alley.â€
Moody gestured to Davis and Whyn. –You two, back to work. Longbottom and I need to have a little chat.â€
Feeling much less gruff than usual, Moody poured the young man a cup of tea and gestured that he sit down at the empty table in the break room.
–I don’t understand why you’re doing this,†Longbottom protested. –I haven’t even told Alice how I feel.â€
–Best keep it that way. Don’t let -†Moody stopped. He was going to say ‘Don’t let a silly thing like romance ruin your career,’ but he thought of the flying feeling he got when he looked into Dorcas’ bright eyes and he couldn’t bring himself to call romance ‘silly.’ Instead, he launched into a long winded story about how a relationship between two Aurors had started a long chain of events that resulted in the assassination of the Minister of Magic in 1876. He ended the story by thumping the table emphatically and not quite shouting, –Constant vigilance!â€
Of course, this made him feel like a hypocrite, because his favorite phrase came from an editorial Dorcas had written years ago.
–Just be careful,†Moody muttered, and walked out.
***********
–This is getting out of hand,†Dorcas told Alastor at an Order meeting on Tuesday. She gestured to the corner where Sirius Black was sitting with his friends.
Black was reading Friday’s paper. –That’s a unique approach,†Alastor remarked. –Quite intelligent, in fact, to return to the original cause. Wonder where he got the paper.â€
–Probably his rubbish bin,†Dorcas guessed. –Look, it’s torn and covered in food. Oh, he’s looking up. Shhhh!â€
Luckily, Black didn’t turn their direction, but instead said to his friends, –This has to be a joke. Weatherby’s article is about as romantic as a Transfiguration essay.â€
At which comment, James Potter winked at his red-haired girlfriend and she blushed.
Their small, timid friend said, –I don’t want to know!â€
Black, on the other hand, looked rather eager to hear the tale.
So the letter to the editor was eclipsed by more pressing gossip.
********
The Order meeting on Friday was at Dorcas’ house. Sirius Black and his scarred friend arrived early, having just finished an assignment.
Black told his friend, –And when his hood slipped, I was sure it was Reg. I can’t believe Mother would make him join! I need a drink.â€
And with that, he went straight for the liquor cabinet. Dorcas still hadn’t restocked, and Black pulled out the bottle of absinthe. He guffawed and said, –It can’t be.†He looked at Dorcas, standing next to Moody, then back at the bottle and let out his characteristic hearty laugh.
Even the Most Unlikely by Wenlock
Chapter Notes: Well, this chapter is a bit less serious than the previous one. I hope you enjoy it. Let me know what you think!