I have been interested in Harry Potter since it was first released in the U.S. when I was six years old. I enjoy reading and reviewing fanfiction and occasionally writing it as well. Comments and constructive criticism are always greatly appreciated!
I absolutely adore this story! I would have commented earlier but the site wouldn't let me leave comments for anyone. I hope that's solved now.... Anyway, you have an excellent talent for humor and I love your characters. I read Book I: The Five first and I really liked it except for the fact that Haley and Emma sort of blended together. You have, however, in this fic, done a splendid job in giving them both distinctive personalities. Your fics really have it all - good plotlines, well-developed characters, and hilarious lines. You also touch upon a variety of topics and I was pleasantly surprised to see you write about politics! I can't wait to read more - keep up the good work!
Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much! The Potter\'s Pentagon stories aren\'t meant to be as funny as my other ones, so I\'m glad you can still find humour in them! Haley and Emma did sort of blend together in the first one... I think it\'s because that story was more about Ivy\'s journey and this one\'s more about Emma\'s journey (the whole trilogy is actually about Jordan\'s journey), so Haley and Emma weren\'t as important characters in the first one, whereas this one really shoves Emma into the limelight.
\r\nAs for politics, there\'s a comment I\'d really like to make but I can\'t until after chapter ten is up, because it would be a spoiler. AAAGH!
I was so happy to see that this story was FINALLY updated! It made me laugh, which is something I really needed! :) Anyway, I just have to say I love your descriptions, especially the one of Giorgi. If you pieced together a part of each of my friends' outfits, you'd get Giorgi. Each accessory and article I read about, I was like 'hey that reminds me of...' This is the cool thing about your stories, you create reflections of the Muggle world in the Wizarding World that are utterly believable, not just by including actual Muggles, but giving the characters the same problems and same feelings we have, while making it hilarious and fun. Well done! I can't wait for more!
Author's Response: Wow, thank you! Strangely, Giorgi\'s fashion sense is a spoof of my own-- I\'m poking fun at myself through her clothing choices. I actually own each of her articles of clothing (except my shoes say \'llama\' and \'duck,\' not \'right\' and \'wrong\'), but I don\'t wear them all together! I\'m verry, verrry glad that you like this! There\'s a lot of me in pretty much all of the characters, so it\'s vewwy nice of you to say you like them. ^_^
I really enjoyed this story! I loved the way you made Jordan recognize the changes within him and I believe you tied up the other characters’ loose ends equally as well. I did not guess that the Lee was written by Lily Evans (and I did read Love a Duck prior to this chapter) and I thought it was very creative. That whole scene between Harry and Haley was touching…it was nice to see that. I’ve noticed there are more Harry-Jordan scenes than Harry-Haley scenes, and this was an excellent way to bring the father closer with his daughter. I have to say my favorite OC was Arden. I liked her shy personality and how she overcame her fear of revealing what she truly was. The name is quite nice too; I am overly fond of wildly unusual names, and this reminds me of something I’d use in my own writing! Vladislav seems like an interesting character as well and isn’t it mentioned that he will be staying at the Hog’s Head the next year? I think Arden’s story was fully told, but what of Vladislav’s? I would like to see his character further developed – he’s very intriguing. Overall, I enjoyed this chapter and this entire installment, immensely. Your humor is as witty as ever – “He just saved a whole bunch of galleons on his broom insurance by switching to—” That made me laugh :) You are very talented. Humor has to be one of the hardest if not the hardest genre to write. I can’t wait for the next Potter’s Pentagon! Keep on writing!
Author's Response: Wow, thanks so much! And I am pleeeased that you didn\'t guess about Lee-- I guess the people who DID guess it was Lily were just more vocal than those who didn\'t, so I assumed most people guessed. Wow, I never really noticed that Harry didn\'t have a lot of scenes with Haley. I actually know someone named Arden who looks a lot like Arden from this story; she\'s the only character I\'ve ever named after anyone, because I thought her name was so pretty. (The Arden I know doesn\'t act anything like my fictional Arden, though.)
\r\nVladislav needs a bigger part. Yeah, he\'s staying at the Hog\'s Head... he was always a bit of a favourite of mine, but I didn\'t think the readers would like him much, so he doesn\'t appear in the third book, though he is mentioned in it. But I should edit and give him a cameo (I do know that he\'ll be appearing in \"Pride and Pre-juiced Plums.\") I think humour is the hardest genre NOT to write-- I\'ve been working on a borderline angsty story with a very strange science-fiction style twist, and I keep slipping in the silliest of humour.
Oh and I forgot to mention, Arden is my favorite new OC. My favorite OC overall is probably a tie between Emma and Ivy. Sorry for not clarifying that originally!
Author's Response: Ah, thanks! And it\'s cool that you like Emma and Ivy both-- I don\'t think most people like Emma AND Ivy; they seem to have kind of conflicting world views.
This was one of the most beautifully written fan fictions I have ever read. The imagery and dialogue were superb, but your characterization was absolutely phenomenal. Tom was in character and Lydia had such an original and interesting personality. This story was also very believable - it makes sense that Tom had felt and then had subsequently lost love. It is a better explanation for why he has such a personal vendetta against it. It also makes him a more interesting character, not as flat as he is in the books. I love how at the end you alternated between using both of his names - Tom and Lord Voldemort where it was appropriate. That was really effective. I want to offer my congratulations on winning the Color of Love Challenge. It certainly deserved it.
This story took my breath away. The imagery was absolutely astonishing and the plot was so relatable and...real. The way you ended it was perfect - bittersweet, but with a hope for the future. There is only one critique I have which is in these two sentences: It is the same curiosity that has burned inside of Olivia all year. She couldn’t stop thinking of him all year. The use of all year twice sort of sent up a little red flag in my mind. I realize repetition is often used to enhance one's writing (it is something I use a lot!) but it didn't really work here. Just a little thing though, don't mind me! The entire story was great! I have one question, though. Why did Olivia not go to Hogwarts? She obviously knew about magic...her mother sent her an owl, and James mentioned Hogwarts to her on several occasions. Did she go to another school like Beaxbatons? Was she a Squib? I assumed that it was one of these things as I was reading, but I just wanted to confirm. You are very talented and I have read many of your other fics as well and they are all fantasic!
Author's Response: Ahh, I\'ll fix that. I don\'t like the way that sounds either. Thank you! I\'m glad you liked the story. As for Olivia, she\'s a witch but she doesn\'t attend Hogwarts. I see her attending a small school taught by local witches and wizards in her area. Something of that sort, at least. :]
Aww...this was an extremely well-written story and you could really feel for Scorpius. I think you handled the fine line between the similarities and the differences between Scorpius and his father beautifully. The use of the adjective 'Hufflepuffiest' had me laughing hysterically as well! You are very talented!
Author's Response: Ah, but hufflepuffiest was an insult of the gravest kind! :) I appreciated your nice remark about Scorpius and Draco--it\'s encouraging to know some things turned out better than expected!
His fears? Flying...his own wand...fitting in...sticking out! His best friends? A passionate fire-breathing cousin, and a cool, aloof Death Eater's son. His destiny? Anything but ordinary!
Join Albus as he experiances his first year at Hogwarts and begins the journey out from under his father's collosal shadow, if he can survive it of course!
Meet the new Tenacious Trio, Albus Potter, Scorpius Malfoy, and Rose Weasley
I loved the conversation between Albus and Freya. There is no such thing as normal and if there was it would be deadly dull! Is Freya's last name a reference to the Egyptian cat goddess Bastet? I would also like to add that I am glad you are showcasing Hufflepuff house's noble qualities. Hufflepuff, has always been, in my opinion, the best house, because its founder was the only one that wasn't prejudiced in any way. You're doing a great job on this story so far! Keep up the good work!
Author's Response:
Freya comes from the Norse goddess who had a chariot pulled by cats. Bast was indeed from the Egyptian goddess of cats. So that would be a yes! Good eye! I think I am enjoying the Trio's Hufflepuffesque character more than anything else. Now that I have written this story I just can't conceive of them anywhere else! I want to live in The Cellar now LOL!
SLy
WOW! This HAS to be one of the most original fan fictions I have ever read! I absolutely adore stories and well, anything, that involves parallel universes (I did a science project on them last year) and the way you both tied in MNFF and the actual Potterverse was phenomenal! I loved how you referred to JK Rowling as ‘the boss’ and how you referenced other fics as well (Voldemort getting run over by a cement mixer anyone?) I also love the idea of Fleur working for some super secret organization – it really offsets her rather superficial exterior. This fic was very witty and original (the Silence of the Lambs reference made me laugh), but the only thing that confused me slightly was the ending. Arthur tore the paper in half…now does that mean that he is now in half because the document controlled what happened to him? That’s what I assumed, but I would appreciate it if you could clarify that for me. Anyway, this has to be one of the best fics I have ever read! Kudos to you both for coming up with such a hilarious and original story!
Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much! I was worried about people not liking this one, because it\'s really so weird. And I\'m especially glad you spotted the reference to Tim the Enchanter\'s brilliant story, \"Out of the Darkness.\" Not enough people have read that. As for Arthur, ripping the document in half just meant that now there was no way for anyone to control him, and since this story was the document, the document ended when it was ripped. He doesn\'t get torn in half-- if you spill juice on the document, Arthur won\'t be covered in juice. That\'s a scary alternative, though! I\'m really, really happy that you liked this one.
I haven’t reviewed your stuff in awhile, but I have been keeping up with it, especially Potter’s Pentagon, and I have to say, I am always impressed. Your characters are wild, original, and relatable and I feel as if each of the Pentagon, as well as some of the other characters, were a part of my own family. You’re definitely my favorite writer on MNFF! You never fail to make your stories funny and it’s something I always look forward to. Comedy is definitely the hardest genre to write, yet you do it successfully and also balance it well with the drama and the experiences that make your characters painfully human even though they’re more than that. Sound like anyone you’ve read? Your plotlines are very well thought out, rarely predictable and never boring. This series and particularly this installment of Potter’s Pentagon never ceases to amaze me.
On this particular chapter, well – it’s my favorite one so far! I loved Haley and Anatoly’s project and the way that almost everyone joined in singing at the end and how Ophidias redeemed himself (somewhat) by closing the gap in the circle. I liked how you had Emma scoff at the whole thing but join in anyway because she wanted to support her friends. And I liked how not too long afterwards, everything went back to normal, as things do after such demonstrations, but there was a little bit of hope for the future (for example, Heather and Carlos). And I feel bad for Jordan at the end because he’s lost his outlet. I can’t wait to see what’s in store for him. I liked Jordan in the past Pentagon stories, but now he’s one of my favorites. His character really developed in this story, becoming ridiculously complex. Like I said before, I’m excited to see what’s coming ahead! Keep up the good work!
Author's Response: Oh, thank you so much, DivineQuill! This review means a lot more to me than I can really explain. And the part that means the most to me is that you care about the characters. Because the more I write about them, the realer they feel to me. I've been writing about them since I was twelve, so they're definitely a part of me now. Jordan's my personal favorite of the characters, too, and a lot of interesting stuff is in store for him, I can say that much! Thanks once again!
Well, I just want to say that this chapter really made my day! My birthday was last week, but unfortunately, I got very sick (second year in a row I’ve been sick on my birthday) and I didn’t get a chance to actually celebrate it until today. So, seeing this chapter was like a birthday present! Anyway, I really enjoyed this chapter – both parts. The whole Emma and Tyrone scene was great. And the kiss was absolutely perfect! It was cute, funny, awkward, romantic, and was completely in character and consistent with their prior relationship. In short, it was very believable as well as enjoyable to read, so kudos to you for that!
The second part was really well written. Cassius Balthazar, despite only having a few paragraphs of screen time (as in computer screen), was well-developed. It was interesting to see some tension in Ivy and Ted’s relationship; it makes them seem more realistic. I’m looking forward to see how they deal with their problems and how their relationship evolves from here, especially with Ted killing someone right in front of Ivy (even if it was to protect her). And of course, having someone’s head split open and be compared to a strawberry milkshake is always fun to read about.
I’m really looking forward to the next chapter. How many more chapters are left, by the way? This is a really fantastic series and I’ll be sad when it ends! I finally got off my lazy bum and wrote a fic and I just want to say that besides the wonderful JKR, it’s people like you on MNFF that really inspired me to write a Harry Potter fanfiction, so I would really like to thank you for that. Keep up the good work! I can’t wait to find out what happens next!
Author's Response: Oh, no, I can't believe you had to get sick TWICE on your birthday. That sounds like my sister, sadly. She always gets sick whenever we go somewhere fun. :-( Haha, luckily, I never get sick, except once in second grade, once in fifth grade, and once the summer before 11th grade when I was at High School Musical summer camp and rehearsed a scene, walked off stage, threw up all over the place, then almost passed out on a bench!
I am very relieved that you liekd the Tyrone and Emma part! I like this scene, but since the whole series has been building up to it, I was worried that it seemed like an anticlimax. But yeah, I was so happy to introduce some conflict to the Ted/Ivy ship. I've really gotten sick of writing happy fluffy romance between them!
There are technically five chapters left, but Chapter 24 might be too long, and I may be forced to hack it into two chapters. Chapter 27/28 is actually an epilogue.