06/07/05
elwenyare.livejournal.com
I am in college, American, and in love with God. I enjoy reading, writing, music (playing, singing, listening), my friends and family.
I am a compulsive editor. This means that while new chapters may come infrequently (translation: I write slowly), the older chapters are always under revision. Check back now and again to read the new and improved versions! Also, I've been working on Britishisms, but as an American, my knowledge is limited. Please, feel free to (gently) Britpick.
I also write a lot of drabbles, which you can find by following that link to my website, along with some poetry and original fiction.
Lovely banner thanks to GinnyPotter!
This banner is thanks to the wonderful TheVanishingAct!
At The Ceili: This is a Christmas gift for Cinderella Angelina, a beloved fellow SPEW member. The title comes from the song it is based on, performed by the very excellent group Celtic Woman. Enjoy, Leslie!
Gold: This was originally the third chapter of In His Own Right, but I felt that it really didn’t fit with the others, so now it is a sequel.
Hide and Seek: This slightly lengthy one-shot deals with the choice between good and evil. It’s under Romance only because it didn’t fit in any of the General categories.
Home To Stay: Based on and set around a song by Josh Groban (same title), Hermione goes travelling Europe, trying to find what she’s lost during the War. Ron waits for her, living for the short notes that she sends to Ginny, waiting for the day when Hermione will be ready to come home for good.
In His Own Right: It was after writing my SPEW 007 challenge (seven prompts, one character) that I really came to appreciate Neville. He’s been through a lot, but he is strong and capable—he just needs a chance to show it. (It has a sequel in Gold.)
Left, Right, and Centre: This began as an attempt to understand why the relationship between Bill Weasley and Fleur Delacour seems to work, though no one else understands why. The reason? Fleur isn’t the idiot everyone thinks she is.
Love Is Not a Simple Thing: For now, this is a one-shot (its continuation is unlikely, and depends on the revival of a long-dormant plot bunny). It is a Remus/Hermione romance, but features no time travel. Instead, the setup comes during Hermione’s school years. Following chapters (if they appear) will follow their growing relationship during the war and post-war years.
So She Dances: One of my personal favourites. It's based on the Josh Groban song of the same name, and is a Neville/Ginny missing moment from GoF. It was the first atmosphere-based piece I wrote, and it came out quite nicely.
The Unknown: Also Neville-based, I consider this the best thing I have yet written. It's a little darker, but very real, with hope at its end.
Transformations: This is a Remus/Tonks, my first—and most ambitious—project. It began back in August 2005 and has been heavily rewritten and edited in preparation for the long-awaited finish. It will be around 11 or 12 chapters when finished
Waiting: This is a post-HBP one-shot, now AU. It was written for the S.P.E.W. Anniversary Challenge: Friends discussing changes since the one-year anniversary of an event (in this case, the death of Dumbledore).
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The Unseemly Proposal by sparx
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: The reign of Voldermort comes to an end, and with it ends the prestige and power Lucius Malfoy once had in the Wizarding World. In order to regain the respect of his fellow wizards and to make them believe that he has turned over a new leaf (which he actually hasn't) and has graciously accepted muggles and Mudbloods, Lucius asks Hermione, a Mudblood, to marry his son, Draco, a pure-blood. Obviously, they both refuse, but Lucius isn't going to give up easily. After all, he wants his status back. He still has a few tricks up his sleeve and is determined to play match-maker. What happens next is a series of events that serve only to bring Hermione and Draco closer, both literally and figuratively speaking. Read to find out how this one unseemly proposal causes absolute chaos in their lives! THIS STORY IS NOT HBP and DH COMPATIBLE! Hey all! Check out my personal info for the expected date of the next update. =)
Date: 11/19/05 Title: Chapter 23: Chapter 23- Double Date
This has a new twist or two every chapter, doesn't it?
Author's Response: Yup, more or less! I hope that's a good thing... =S
Date: 04/09/06 Title: Chapter 31: Chapter 31- The Big Game
There are some nice developments in this chapter, notably Draco’s change to protectiveness. Some points:
Your spacing is a little funny. Do you mean to have a double gap between paragraphs? I know that all your chapters are like that, but it’s a little disrupting, especially when you use a lot of one-line paragraphs.
Also in the formatting/grammar section, there were a couple of minor grammar problems:
Hermione already knew of Draco’s obsession with the game, but hearing him talk like that about t sent tingles down her spine.
There’s an extra T in there.
““Why, that stupid bitch!” Jinx scolded indignantly as Draco led a silent Hermione out of the Great Hall.
There’s an extra quotation mark at the beginning of this.
“The effect of the potion is going to last for the next twenty-four, so my mood’s not going to change anytime soon, Jinx. I hope you understand”
There’s no period at the end of this.
But as Hermione watched Harry and Ron walked off in the opposite direction, the nerves returned, ten times worse than before. Now that Harry and Ron were on good terms with her again, what if she does something to interfere with Gryffindor’s chance at winning later? Then her two friends will never forgive her for sure. The mere thought of this made her break out in cold sweat.
The thing about this is that you changed tenses. The first sentence, “Hermione watched,” is past tense, but the next part, “what if she does” is present tense. You can fix this either by internalizing the dialogue so that it’s italicized thought: “…ten times worse than before. Now that Harry and Ron were on good terms with her again, what if I do something to interfere with Gryffindor’s chance at winning later? They’ll never forgive me.” Or, you can change the middle section to past tense.
There were some things I really liked. This part, for instance:
“I’ll have you know Granger,” Draco started, carefully choosing his words,” that I meant everything I said. I did enjoy it. I told you before, you're a good kisser.” If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.
That may be an American turn of phrase, I’m not sure, but I like it anyway. I think it’s indicative of the changes that Draco is going through.
Three days before the big match.
Mr. Malfoy decided that it was time for another surprise visit.
This part is slightly fragmented. I understand the “Three days before…one day before” thing; I like the way it holds the story together a bit more. However, in this context, it’s a bit strange. It sounds as if it should be: “Three days before the big match, Mr. Malfoy decided that it was time for another surprise visit.” I don’t think that’s what you meant. You could italicize the “Three days before” part; that might help to separate the sections.
Hermione screamed when she saw his head appear suddenly in the fireplace while she was reading a book in the armchair.
This sentence, to me, seems backwards. I can see what you meant, but this way, it’s like we see Hermione scream, see Lucius in the fire, and see her in the armchair with a book. Really, Hermione is in the chair when she sees him and screams. If you put it in order, it helps to clarify the meaning. “Hermione was reading a book in the armchair when she saw his head appear in the fireplace and screamed.”
“Caviar?” Hermione repeated, frowning. “Your father likes caviar?”
Draco rolled his eyes. “Honestly Granger, out of the whole conversation we had with my father, you found that the most perplexing?”
Heh heh.
Hermione felt her throat run dry.
I like the feeling, but I don’t think that a throat would suddenly “run dry.” Maybe just “dry up?”
“I will be responsible for you tonight,” Draco went on, his grip on Hermione’s shoulder’s tightening slightly. “It’s the least I can do. You just have to trust me. Can you do that?”
This is excellent. It really shows that Draco cares about Hermione, and is capable of showing it (which is equally important). Well done!
Author's Response:
Thank you very much Starmaiden! Yup, Draco’s sudden protectiveness is definitely the highlight here. =D Right, now on with the mistakes you spotted…
Yup, I do actually double space my paragraphs because I find it neater. But you\'re right, it can get somewhat disruptive, so I changed the style of paragraphing to single space in this chapter. When I have the time, I’ll so the same for the rest.
Yup, I changed that one to “it”.
Haha, that’s what happens when you type too fast. I\'ve all of those little typos as well.
Yup, I realized that the tenses in this sentence were a little weird, so I went to change it to, “what if she DID…” Is that all right?
Definitely American, but like you said, I thought it would be very appropriate for the situation!
Thanks for that little piece of advice. Upon re-reading the chapter, I realized that it was indeed quite weird. So I italicized the “three days before the match” and the “five days before the match” portions.
I changed the sequence to the one with Hermione on the armchair you recommended as well. =)
Glad you liked the caviar sentence!
I\'ve actually heard of the expression “Her throat ran dry”, so I think I\'m going to leave that one, despite the slight weirdness to it.
Thank you so much for the editing, Starmaiden. You didn’t have to do it, but you took the time to do so nonetheless. I appreciate it very, very much. I\'m usually very careless with my work, even after I scan through it, so I\'m grateful that you pointed all this out to me. Anytime you spot such mistakes again, don’t hesitate to point them out to me! =D
Date: 07/05/05 Title: Chapter 14: Chapter 14- Meeting At Midnight
I love this! Malfoy -- both Malfoys -- are done well. Putting the portraits of the founders in the Head's rooms was a great idea. Waiting for more!
Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad that you liked the idea. And you'll get more as soon as I'm ready to submit the next chapter!
Date: 06/28/05 Title: None
I like it! More please!
Author's Response: On it's way, thanks for reviewing!
Date: 07/13/05 Title: None
I like the way you repeated the situation from both points of view. Very interesting and insightful.
All's Well That Ends Well? by Shock
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary: James and Lily-their seventh year. We all know what happens in the end, but what about the beginning? In their last year at Hogwarts, mysteries unravel, friends are betrayed, and, of course, couples destined to be fall in love.
Date: 07/12/05 Title: Chapter 1: Ends and Beginnings
Accurate spelling and grammar just make the story flow better. It looks much better and reads a lot easier.
Author's Response: Er...I was being sarcastic...well, I'll take down that part of the summary now I guess...
Date: 06/26/05 Title: Chapter 11: Wormtail's Tale
I'm liking this story. You're good at keeping the people in character. More please!
Author's Response: Thanks! I try my best! Next update should be within the next week!
Marked To Find Your Way Back by GringottsVault711
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: Two part ficlet. Ron has found himself in love with Hermione, but is now convinced that she 'detests' him. A simple gesture on his part could reveal the truth between the two friends. Includes references to Pride & Prejudice and 'The Ruined Puzzle' by Dashboard Confessional, because they both rock.
Date: 02/11/07 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter the Second: Hermione
Squeee! How adorable! I'm so glad I found this (I got interested, looking at your LJ fic meme).
I love the last part about Hermione imagining them kissing to stop an argument -- it's quite true to what we know of them! And the way Ron finally asked her out was so cute.
The split perspectives is always fun; even more challenging since you've done it in present tense. Very well, too; you didn't slip out of it at all, as far as I can tell.
I laughed pretty hard when I read what it was that Hermione caught those third years doing. It's a very...young-stupid-boy thing to do.
My thoughts return to rodent Ron. ... I could then carry him around in my pocket, and he’d never ask me for help with homework again.
It shows Hermione's exasperation, but also affection -- why else would you carry a small furry creature in your pocket all day?
It's interesting how Ron and Hermione know a lot about each other, but they've got several things wrong, too (mainly the feelings they have for each other). And their mistakes sort of echo each other (same feelings, silly things that endear them to each other).
So: wonderful story! I'm going to go read some more of your stuff!
Date: 08/16/05 Title: None
It is kind of OOC, but it's fun. Keep writing!
Author's Response: Thank you very much for reviewing
Date: 06/22/05 Title: None
Poor Ginny. She'll be okay in the long run, but OUCH! Oh and thought: Yes, I hate Bridget (don't we all!) but frankly, I don't know what Harry sees in her. She's a poisonous menace. Surely Harry wouldn't date someone who acts evil towards one of his best friends.
Author's Response: About your thought--Harry likes Bridget (for now, at least) but Ginny is his friend, too. He sees the tention between the two girls, and thought he tries to avoid it, he also overlooks it, because of his feelings to Bridget. If I was writing this in Harry's POV, you would definitely see more of those feelings, but since I'm not, I've got to try and play them out through actions. But don't worry, he's going to come to his sense soon enough!!
Date: 06/17/05 Title: None
This is sweet...well, alternating between sweet and a tad painful. But it'll end with them together, I think, so that's good. Can't wait for the rest!
Author's Response: I can't say anything! You'll have to wait to see how they will end up...yeah, it is painful to watch some of it, and unfortunatly, the next chapter isn't too good for Ginny, but you'll have to see for yourself!
Date: 06/26/05 Title: None
This is the first time I've checked out this story and I like it! You're better than some people at keeping them in character. Keep it up!
An Insider's View by CCCC
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary: A series of one-shots from inside the minds of various characters. Different formats and styles for each character.
This is a past featured story, but from way back before they did rosettes for it. Bellatrix, Gargoyle, Ollivander, Sorting Hat, Filch, Rita (New)
Date: 10/06/05 Title: Chapter 1: A Disciple
Kind of freaky, but really very well done. Very true to what Bella might be like.
Date: 12/01/05 Title: None
First of all, I have to say I am really very impressed by your style. Things flow without visible effort, which is a huge thing. I also like your American version of the wizarding school. As for the plot...
You need to connect the two parts of your story. And if you have Sid end up with Dorian or Harry, you need to set that up too. I would suggest not writing any more chapters until you've got a working idea of what the plot will be like, so you don't write yourself into any more corners. That said, I hope you figure it out, because I like this story. Keep it up!
Author's Response: Wow! thank you so much. You're advice helps a lot. Seriously. Also, I'm so flattered that you like it, I feel encoureged. Hopefully some new chapters will show up soon, once I've worked out my plot. Woosh, I feel some new inspiration coming on!
Life Happens by ColorOfAngels
Rated: 6th-7th Years •Summary:
This is the story of Harry J. Potter and Ginny M. Weasley, their lives, friendships, realtionships and everything in between. Life doesn't always take the road they expect or want, but they soon learn that no matter what they do or how hard they try, the world stops for no man and that simply put, Life Happens.
Primarily Harry/Ginny but with Ron/Hermione background. Picks up after the end of book 5 and continues into Post-Hogwarts.
UPDATED 4/25
Date: 06/24/05 Title: Chapter 10: Powers
This is interesting. A bit beyond the canon world, but not too much. Looking for the end!
Author's Response: well your going to have to wait cause the end isnt coming for a while....
Date: 07/31/05 Title: Chapter 13: Battles
Hm...either he's not dead or he can come back, maybe just this once, hopefully he's dreaming. Next chapter please, not fair to leave it there!
Author's Response: hmmm...you'll just have to wait and see....
Consequentially Yours by Nyruserra
Rated: Professors • Summary: It's a rescue, really. At least, that's what Fred and George Weasley manage to convince him of. After all, Hermione is sure to be a target for revenge seeking Purebloods - what could any right-minded Wizard do but step in to help?
But with the shadow of Voldemort still hanging over a frightened community, Oliver is about to find out that the consequences of doing the right thing can get very out of hand!
An Oliver Wood/Hermione Granger Romance
Date: 05/01/09 Title: Chapter 21: Chapter 20 -1 - Cot Buin a’ Fiadhaiche Luchan
When I saw the post on my LJ, the only reason I didn’t leap up and run screaming around the apartment (well, aside from scaring my roommates) was because I was frantically clicking buttons so I could read it right now!
And having finished reading it (twice)…gaaaahh.
Bits I really really liked (as opposed to just really liking):
Hermione’s reading that one trashy novel again. Ha.
"I'm not up to talking to yer chin, lass." He smiled at her bewildered expression.
It’s just cute. I love your Oliver—he’s cute and sweet and gentle but strong and manly and flawed, as well. And the expanded Oliver you write about is still true to what little we get out of the books.
I like how Hermione takes care of Oliver—and of course, how he takes care of her.
He didn't look particularly chastised by her complaints, if anything, his smile only grew more sly. "An' why would I do that when I know I've go' such a pretty nurse waiting at home for me?"
"Lass, if yeh don't stop that, ye're goin' ta kill me"
And
…Hermione suddenly felt that perhaps this was a Very Bad Idea…
Hee hee hee. Ahem.
She was tired of thinking, of always second-guessing where this man was concerned; tired of trying to be the rational one.
Ooh, nice Hermione bit. Her second-guessing has been getting in the way since the beginning of the story, but she hasn’t been able to help herself. Now she’s finally just ready to trust him. I also like this part:
…not one she would be able to hide behind as a choice in the heat of the moment tomorrow morning. And though she respected him for it, she also hated him, a little.
This is why the characters work so well—those inconsistencies that are so fundamentally part of the human personality. They aren’t perfect, nor is the world they exist in, but they get by—like real people.
They didn’t climax together or anything ridiculous like that…
More of the same. I am amused by how embarrassed Hermione is by the whole thing, even though she wants it so badly.
His expression, when she was brave enough to open her eyes, was nothing short of triumphant, as he leaned forward to slide his lips along the shell of her ear, down her jaw, and back up, he whispered, “I told ye I would get the words from you, lass. You don’t know how long I’ve waited to hear you say them.”
*melts* It’s been such a journey, from their wedding night to here…but we know now that it’s better this way, that they had to come to this point before their “wedding night” could have this much meaning.
I’m excited that this isn’t quite the end! And I’m excited about what’ s next.
Date: 04/26/07 Title: Chapter 1: Prologue
Hi, SPEW Buddy! :D
Oooh, it’s a contract story! I’m a sucker for these *sheepish grin* I love how you pair Hermione with edge characters, and then make them likable people who are just perfect for her!
I find it fascinating how each author takes the contract idea and makes it something different. For instance, I wasn’t expecting to find that not everyone needs a contract.
…Potter’s—ally-in-the—final-war Granger had a Contract.
The formatting of the dashes is a little odd.
Percy interests me very much. He’s changed from pure ambition to doing what he really believes is best for the people, even to turning down the Minister’s position. I like that.
I’m glad (in a strange way, I suppose) that you make the lack of intermarriage a serious problem. Not just a bizarre Ministry prank, but something that could potentially unleash a pandemic – almost enough to convince me it would really work.
The last part, where Percy leads up to telling Oliver he needs to put in for a Contract, made me laugh pretty hard. Poor Oliver. He’s been off chasing wild beasts for weeks, and now he has to get married! To some girl who will probably resent him for calling a Contract on her, no less (even though I’m sure Hermione will come around soon enough).
For the second time that evening, Percy was faced with the job of calming an irate highlander.
The fainting part seemed a little unnecessary to me, but it’s still pretty funny. Next chapter!
Author's Response: Hey SPEW buddy! I have been so horrible - not responding until now... my only defense is that I\'ve been so focused on getting the next chapter out... yeah, okay, I\'m still horrible. *sheepish grin*
I have to admit, I have a secret fondness for Contract stories too - it\'s like a forbidden pleasure, really ;-p
I\'ve always enjoyed pairing Hermione with the more fringe characters - I don\'t know why, but I get teased about it frequently *lol* Hermione/Oliver and Hermione/Seamus are probably my two faves, though I love writing Percy, too.
Thank you for the corections! I can\'t beleive I missed those...and yes, you;re absolutely right, the last part is a touch over the top. My only defense is that it was in all honesty, one of the first things in fanfiction that I ever wrote. If/when I ever go back and re-edit this, I will definitely be taking that bit out!