I adored that. I thought that it was an amzingly accurate portrayal of the Black family. Your descriptions were unique, straight to the point, and beautifully written. I loved the first few and last few paragraphs. They were flat out stated, though they contained so much emotion.

For them, it really did hold memories, and many of those memories were those they may not like to remember.

I don't know if you meant to do it, but you said 'remember' and 'memories' quite a lot, here. I would rearrange this sentence so as to make sure it's not redundant.

Sirius was his own person, and what did he care if his family could never appreciate that.

I would end this with a questionmark, as it's phrased like a question.

“Why doesn’t she just give up and let me be? She’s already yelled at me to the freaking point of insanity!” Sirius roared, more to himself than anyone else.

I don't think that 'roared' is quite the right word. I find it hard to think that you can roar at yourself, as it's a generally used when someone is yelling. I would say 'Sirius roared, more to say it to himself than anyone else.' Or else use a different word than roared.

Overall, I thought that was amazing. I think that you did a wonderful job explaining the house, Sirius and Regulus's thoughts, and why Sirius left. Wonderful job!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your critque. It helps a lot to get ideas then just praise. I\'m glad you liked it.

Anna, Anna, Anna. What a beautiful story. This is different from what I usually read, but I find nothing wrong with a little light-heartedness every once in a while. :)

Let me just start off by saying that I chose to read this story because of the title and the title only. I absolutely adore it. It’s so simple, so classic, so… amazingly perfect. *loves upon title* Now back to the actual story. *shifty eyes*

Wizard interactions with Muggles are something that I guess I never really think about, but now that I’ve read this, it’s fun to think about all the different views on Muggles that Wizards can have. It’s really interesting, reading about a character like Arthur, who would voluntarily want to experience Muggle culture, and go to a place like Sergeant Sally. All I could think while reading about Sergeant Sally was “Mr Weasley would just love this.” John’s family, on the other hand, was also very interesting to read about in relation to John – it was a nice contradiction; John’s family being so opposed to Muggle culture, while John himself was very open to it.

Possibly my favourite thing about this story was how much thought and research you put into it. This story, unlike a lot that I both see and write, seems to be yours. I think that, giving the exception of a few HP phrases like “Apparated”, this story could have completely stood independent of the Potter books. You put so much into this one shot that it’s like you created your own little world. It’s hard to believe that John, Charles, and Agatha Weasley aren’t actually characters in the books, because of the distinct personalities that you gave each of them. Like in your very first line,

“Muggles everywhere! I do not understand why we simply couldn’t have Apparated.”

*giggles* I get such a powerful impression of Agatha from this sentence. I haven’t been reading the story for a minute, and I already can tell that this person is very magical, and rather fussy. Therefore, I must conclude that your dialogue is simply pwning, dear Anna, to be able to give us such a substantial glimpse of these characters’ personalities. Another example is this line, “There is nothing wrong with the Mad-House! They have the funniest plays in Britain!” You put so much into Agatha’s character that it’s seriously hard to believe that she’s not really Mr Weasley’s great-grandmother.

And, as I mentioned above, I really admire how much research you put into this. Being the lazy person that I am, I hardly ever put background research into anything I write, but I love that you used real people and songs in this story. The way you managed to connect our world and the HP world was just brilliant.

“My name is John Weasley,” he whispered.

“I know,” she breathed at his neck, “but you always looked like a Johnny to me.”

o.o *dies* That was my favourite line in this whole story. It is just… guh. I love how you wrote Elsie as having such a strong personality; it’s always fun to read about characters like her. Did you find out a lot about Elsie’s personality through research, or did you invent her characterization?

I’ve only got one piece of concrit for you, and it is this: Throughout this story you’ve been inconsistent with your use of Elsie and Elise. Earlier on, like in lines like this, “My name is Elise Carlisle, and I will sing you a few songs tonight” she’s referred to as “Elise”, and in later lines like ““Really?” Elsie got up from the chair and pushed her flowing, golden hair back over her shoulders,” she’s called Elsie. That’s the only nitpick that I can find for you.

Anyway, I really enjoyed reading this story! I love all your characters dearly, and I can really see them being a part of the books. I look forward to reading (and quite possibly reviewing!) more of your work in the future! *hugs*

Danielle! I so totally remember to review this!

*nods*

*applauds self*

Anyway, I do feel so horrible for not finishing my beta work on this story, but it was sweet of you to credit me anyway! So, here’s my Beta/SPEW style review, picking up on the second half, because I’d already read the first half, and, yeah.

Picture this: You love your mother deeply. Your only dream is to somehow, some way, be like her. Your only hope is that one day your daughter will love you as much as you love your own mother right now, at this very moment.

This part caught my eye, basically because you address the reader. Second person is typically stayed away from while writing from a third or first person POV, so if there’s anyway that you can rephrase this paragraph to not talk to the reader, that would be good. I think it’s fine if you just leave it like it is, however.

She was for living in the moment, enjoying what you have, never saying never.

This is like my last suggestion, but this sentence reads awkwardly with the word ‘you’ in it. It sounds like her mom is enjoying what someone else has, so I would change the ‘you have’ to ‘she has/d’.

She turned to Luna, a look almost apologetic on her face, and collapsed on the hard, cold stone floor.

I just adore this line. The way you use the work ‘apologetic’, you can tell that her mom isn’t trying to hurt Luna, and that Luna was the only one that made her regret what she was doing. It’s so sad to think about the fact that Luna had to watch her mom purposely kill herself.

Meanwhile, Luna almost found it almost amusing at how the wind thrashed their black coats around as they danced around in the wind, while they stood still as statues.

You use the word ‘around’ twice very close together, so I would take the second one out, just so it won’t be too repetitive.

Besides, she had already shed too many tears already, there were none left to come.

You use the word ‘already’ at the beginning and the end of the first clause here. *giggles because Rachel does that as well* You should take one out so it’s not too repetitive.

Around and around, her eyes focused on nothing but the leaves. Hearing nothing else, seeing nothing else, getting faster and faster, till the world became a distance blur of blue sky, twirling foliage, and tall tree trunks.

I adore this line. Before now, this story had a very lovely slow pace to it. In this line it gets faster and faster, giving the feeling of losing control. I can see why Luna wanted to spin, just from the way that you write this line. It gives me the feeling that she wanted to just get away, and be in her own world. One small nitpick though: I would write out ‘until’ because ‘till’ is generally slang that’s used more in actual speech rather than in writing.

You see, loosing my mother at the tender age of nine, I hadn’t really developed a sense of who I was.

Again, I would edit this sentence not to include ‘you’ if you can, but if not, that’s alright. Also, apparently ‘loosing’ is a word, as spell check isn’t picking it up (as I do my reviews on Word), but you’re looking for ‘losing’ in this particular sentence.

Anyway. I really love this paragraph where you talk about Luna trying to become her mom. That seems like a realistic way to cope with loss—trying to replace her mom. I can see Luna wanting to forget about what happened, and try to make her mom live on through herself. I found it interesting that you said that Luna’s father was doing this as well, because throughout this fic, he’s sort of been the bad guy, and I never got the impression that he overly cared about Luna’s mom. That just shows that no one’s what they appear to be on the outside, I suppose. I like that you wrote it the way you did, though, because it shows us that small connection that Luna has with her father—the fact that they cope with death the same way.

Slowly and deliberately, and with great effort, Luna begins to spin.

Ooh, I just love this ending line! The whole fic was marvelous, but I just love the way that you tie everything together in this last line. The last two paragraphs are describing Luna’s change as she grows older, then the note that you end on is saying that Luna is spinning, just like she used to. This gives me the impression that this spinning was something that she did for herself. Like, all the other habits that she shook were things that she did to be like her mom, but here she is, even after she’s accepted her mother’s death—spinning. It makes me think that she’s still trying to get away, or feel free, or whatever it is that she spins for. I don’t think it’s the reader’s place to know why, however. Like I said before, this seems like a habit that she does for herself.

Anyway, in case you haven’t noticed, I really did adore this story. You had such a different take on Luna’s life than any other stories that I’ve ever read about it. I don’t think that you need an AU warning, as we actually don’t know how Luna’s mom died, but you can keep your note if you see it fitting.

Guh. *headdesk* I just totally realised that I used ‘mom’ instead of ‘mum’ in this whole review. Ignore my extreme Americanness, as I am an American. >.>

Again, sorry for not completing my betaing for this story, and I hope to read more by you soon, Danielle! Cheers!


Author's Response: WOW! I wish I knew how to make that amazing smiley with its eyes popped out of its head, because I would put it a million times! 8-0 <<< That\'s the best I can come up with! Wow, lovely review, and don\'t feel bad about not finishing it! I take forever to get back to the authors I Beta for... First of all, I half agree and half don\'t agree with my use of the word \"you\". On one hand, I completely get what you mean. On the other hand, I don\'t really see how I could fit anything else in there that makes sense. If you have any tips, that would be great! And a note about the spinnning: Ha, I like your logic! I never actually really meant it to be that way :-) When I write, I don\'t really think, I just write. I don\'t usually have much reasoning for whatever I write. Ah I did it again! I used the same word, three times, close together. *scolds self* Anyway, spinning never really had a reason, it just happened. But I did do something on purpose, and that was having that connection between Luna and her father, as them seem like they are close in cannon. Thanks for the critiques, I\'ll be sure to use them! Pfttt...Americanisms? Don\'t worry, I\'m American too, and I\'m the WORST with Britisisms (wait I didn\'t spell that right). Anyway, THANK YOU RACHEL! Look out for a review of your own! It won\'t be as long though, sorry, I\'m no SPEWER. :-)

SPEW buddy! *tackle hugs* I initially intended to read something Black-sister centric by you, but my fondness for Hermione called me to this story, and let me say, I’m very glad that I read it! It’s these kinds of stories that I really appreciate, and don’t forget about a second after I submit the review. First of all, allow me to throw a tomato at you for killing Neville. *throws tomato*

Okay, on to more important matters. The themes that you carried out through Hermione’s character really should be acknowledged more than they are, and I love seeing themes addressed in this upfront manner. I think that a speech is a great way to express the issues of raising children into a world of love rather than hate, and being able to move away from a war, to start a new life.

I also think that Hermione was the perfect character to express this through. She’s a conscientious student, so I think that if she had been approached by Professor McGonagall to make this speech, she would have gone through with it. I also think that Hermione’s someone that a lot of students would take seriously while listening to this speech. Now, onto the next thing that really stood out to me.

I love what you’ve done with Hermione’s characterization in this one shot. At first it struck me as slightly odd that Hermione wouldn’t have her speech planned and written down, but that just goes to show how many changes a person can undergo in a war. It’s probable that even the organised!Hermione that we know and love can go through severe changes. I like her line that she said to Tonks, about how she was going to give the speech from her heart. That really sounded like Hermione to me.

My biggest pet peeve with stories that go against canon is that things like graduation ceremonies and such usually aren’t justified. Therefore, I simply loved this line: Hermione had the distinct feeling that this ceremony was more about the Ministry than Minerva McGonagall. The way you wrote it into this story, I find the thought that the Ministry would have this ceremony to be a very plausible one, and could actually see this happening in canon. Another thing that I loved was McGonagall’s letter to Hermione. That seemed very professional, but also slightly friendly towards Hermione, and, well, it just struck me as very McGonagallish. Good work. :)

One nitpick: Hermione stared at the letter she had received three weeks earlier, with the results of her Newts. “NEWTs” should be capitalised.

The only other concrit that I can offer is that I think it would have worked nicely to pause during Hermione’s speech a few times, with a “she said”, or describing her facial expressions, or her position or something. The speech just seemed a bit fast paced, but on the other hand, this was a pretty fast paced one shot, so it works fine as is. That’s just something I would maybe consider.

The last line had a really inspiring effect on me. I love that the other students appreciated Hermione’s words, rather than just brushing them off. Her words had a powerful effect on me. It’s a great thought that someone can make a stand about something so important like Hermione did, and people will actually listen and try to change.

Overall, this was just a very beautiful and well written one shot, Elle! I look forward to reading and reviewing more of your work in the future – perhaps something more Bellatrixy next time. ;)

Author's Response: *wipes tomato juice from face*

Thanks so much for the wonderful review my darling SPEW buddy. I\'m glad you enjoyed my little jaunt into Hermioneville. As you know, she\'s not a character that I write a lot, but I do have a certain fondness for her. And I also felt that she would be the perfect person to make a stand. She\'s always the one to make a stand.

I was a little leery of including a gradutation after I found out that it isn\'t the norm in Britan, however, it worked best with the story, so I went with it. Blaming it on the Ministry was really just a spur of the moment thing.

Anyway, thank you again for the lovely review. You\'ve been a great SPEW buddy. *huggles*

Teh Kiara!

*hugglespwningtripletspam*

Ahem. Yes. I would leave a SPEWing review, but as I beta'd it, it might defeat the purpose. Actually, I might just SPEW review it later. Hm. There's a thought.

Anyway, as you know, I completely adored this story! I never thought that Fred being a DE could be believable, but alas, you pulled it off!

Just thought I'd drop by to say that you pwn, and w00t for getting it accepted!

This spammilicious review has been brought to you by a one Rachel, who has no life and enjoys reviewing triplet fics.

♥

Author's Response: Rachelsquee! *hugglespwningtripletspamalso!* Thank you so much hun - for betaing, and now for reviewing as well! And wahey for spammilicious reviews! *hearts*

*is finally reviewing a Steph!fic*

After reading that, all I have to say is…aw! I love reading fics about how Lily and James come together, so I adored reading this and seeing your take on how it would happen. Your characterization was just guh. Beyond guh. You managed to capture proud!Lily and arrogant!James, and still make them come together in a believable way. So many J/L fics I’ve read have James and Lily just push aside their differences within a fraction of a second, so I love how Lily doesn’t let go of her grudges that quickly. Also, once Lily does know that the secret admirer is James, she doesn’t just go along with it. Even towards the end, Lily’s still stubborn as ever.

Your twist on this pairing is so cute. You lead us to believe that the secret-admirer isn’t James so well with all these “If James ever finds this guy…” lines and such. I must admit, when I read the “last person you’d expect” line, I thought it would be Snape or something. It really WAS the last person I expected, so I can picture how shocked Lily must have been! I love the way you wrote girlyflirty!Lily, but kept her characterization so flawless.

A few grammar nitpicks…

‘You’re taking the word of a guy who’s best friends with Potter? You’re seriously going to meet a boy you don’t even know is real’. That sentence needs punctuation. Also…

Who was he? ‘Of course I know that. But why are you drinking it. You’re a wizard.’ I do believe that “But why are you drinking it” needs a question mark.

/nitpicking

Lily felt like hitting herself over the head. What had made her come out on this whim, to meet this stranger? Oh, right, James. I loved this line! It’s so ironic that the only reason that she’d break rules and go out that late was so she’d get away from James, and yet, she finds herself in this situation. *giggles* I like how you wrote that irony throughout this entire fic—Lily finding herself more interested in this secret admirer than she’d normally be, just to get back at James.

The last line was so cute! You can really tell that Lily’s trying to remain proud, but is somewhat flattered by what James has been trying to do. That’s just another example of your pwning characterization. This isn’t the fluffiest fic I’ve read, but the last line is just so romantic! It opens up so many new options for James and Lily, and there are so many possibilities about their relationship after this. [Pst. Write a sequel.] *giggles*

/long awaited review

Author's Response: Loves nitpicks, by the way. :D And thank you so much rachel dear, I love your reviews. They\'re so YOU. And heee, you caught the irony! I wanted it to be a surprise, so you caught that! Cheeky monkey!

/long awaited response.

Kiara, Kiara, Kiara. I can’t even begin to express how beautiful this story was in a review, but I shall try. When I first beta’d this story, when I reread it for the SBBC, and rereading it now, I continue to be indescribably impressed.

First off, Fleur. Wow. Her characterization was absolutely wonderful. At first the statement that she doesn’t believe in love was rather confusing. After all, she’s the one who guys faithfully follow around, so at first I thought ‘if anyone would believe in love, it’d be her’. But the way you used that to strengthen your point that she doesn’t believe in love was incredibly well-done, and I found myself really understanding where Fleur was coming from. With lines like Ironically, this was because many of the men who met her did, and proclaimed it often when in her presence. it’s hard not to see what you mean. I thought it was very IC for Fleur to only believe in lust over love, because of her beauty. What I also loved about her was the way you wrote her relationship with her mum and her sister. From GoF we can tell just how much her family meant to her, and I loved the way you wrote that in this fic; that even though she loved Bill, she wanted her family’s approval.

Next, Bill. I absolutely loved the way you wrote Bill. From what we’ve seen of him in the books, he’s a rather calm, laid-back character. Though this fic was from Fleur’s point of view, and we didn’t see too much of him, from what you wrote, I thought you managed to capture his character wonderfully. Possibly my favourite line from him was "Because I'm me. Would you like to dance?" I love his go-with-the-flow type manner. Which brings me to the next thing I wanted to mention; the blonde-girl-kiss. Honestly, I’m torn on this bit. I can’t decide whether it strengthens or weakens his characterization. On one hand, as I mentioned above, you portrayed him as a rather go-with-the-flow type character. In this case, I can see him kissing another girl, because she happened to be there, he was upset, and it seemed like the right thing at the time. On the other hand, from his argument towards the end of this fic, the reader could really tell just how much he cared for Fleur, and I don’t think that he would be discouraged from her because of one dispute with her family.

That being said, I just loved the last section; Bill and Fleur’s argument. The kiss did have its uses; to lead up to this bit brilliantly. What I loved about this was the way you wrote both characters; both very stubborn and determined to get their points across. I love the way that you managed to keep their characterizations consistent throughout this entire fic, despite the many scenarios they were put through. Two lines that I just loved were:

"Fleur, there's one more thing I need to teach you about English. "Loved" isn't a word," he said solemnly, as Fleur looked on in confusion. "There is no past tense to "love" - if you love someone, you always will, no matter what. Like I love you." Truly brilliant, my Kiara. What I love about this line is the way you tie Bill’s love for Fleur, and Fleur’s Eenglish lessons together in one paragraph that has such a strong impact as this. This line is just so true. I think, no matter how much a person has told himself he’s moved on, if he’s loved someone, he’s going to continue to do so. I can really see Bill saying something like this. It’s like he’s been saying throughout this entire fic “You know I love you, do I honestly have to say it?” When he finally does say it, I couldn’t think of a sweeter way. The other line I loved was:

"I know because I love you. And because the sex is great," Bill added cheekily, earning him a swat from Fleur. "And because you love me too." LOL. I love the subtle humour you manage to add to this; truly brilliant job!

One last thing. I adored the way you wrote Madam Delacour. Being a single mum, I can see where she’d be especially protective of her daughters, and rather sceptic of love. The way you wrote this was so believable – I liked that her arguments against Bill were more “he’s not of good class” and “he’s not worthy of you” than “I don’t like him”. If her argument was as weak as that, I honestly don’t think your story would have come out the way it did; I think Bill and Fleur would have left right then and there. But I thought that to an extent, it was really IC for Fleur to at least listen and respect her mum before shooting down her beliefs; again, just shows how much her family means to her.

Overall, truly incredible job, darling! I read so few Bill/Fleur fics, but now I really want to start, to see other interpretations of their relationship, and see if the characterization’s as solid as the way you wrote it. ;) Kiara, dear, I’m going to have to come after you with sporks [wth, Word? ‘sporks’ is SO a word!], for I refuse to allow you to leave MNFF. I shall chain you to the site if I have to, for the world is not ready to be deprived of your fantabulous writing just yet.

*squishes SPEW buddy Katty*

Right, onto official matters. Reviewing would be good, now, wouldn’t it? XD

I really enjoyed reading this fic. I loved the way that you veiled her name until the very end. I’m a fan of doing that myself. If we know who the character is, we end up thinking about what we know about them – about who we think they are. But if we don’t know, so much more is open for interpretation. When we find out who the character is, we have to adapt our views of them to what the author has written them as. It can really make you consider the possibilities for that character, whereas, if you used her name in the first sentence, I may have thought ‘No, she wouldn’t act in such a way.’ And that would be the end of that. So I really liked the way you wrote this. It makes me think that the way you wrote her is really plausible.

The only noise she heard was the eerie hiss of the creek as the water rushed past her, sounding nothing the way a creek was supposed to sound. I love the finality here. ‘The way a creek was supposed to sound.’ We can tell just from this line that this character has very set views on matters. Something like the sound of a creek could in fact, vary, but it seems that she has a set idea for what a creek may or may not sound like. I like this blatant way that she comes to terms with things in this story. She asks questions upfront, and wants an answer for what she doesn’t understand. You managed to write this throughout this fic very well. For example:

She asked why Iris had done it. Why Iris had decided to take her life. She asked why anyone could do it. So many people wouldn’t want this answer. They’d want to forget that things like this had happened, where I can tell the genuine curiosity that she has behind her words. Like I said before, I couldn’t judge her character by this, as I didn’t know who it was. But upon reaching the last line, I can look back on the rest of the story, and really see her character as this curious, upfront person that you wrote her as.

Now all she had left was the flower in her hand. The flower that had been the last symbol of Iris. The last thing Iris had given her, carrying the message ‘to remember me by.’ Iris had known then. She had known it would be the last time they would ever see each other. She clutched the flower in her hand even tighter. I love this passage. It’s such a heartbreaking thought – looking back on someone, and realising that they had known that they would never see each other again, where your main character had no idea at the time. It really makes you think. This type of thing could happen with any two people – not only Harry Potter characters. That’s why I enjoyed reading this so much. With the basic themes you carried out, and not knowing who the character was, we could really envision anyone in her place, including other characters, and real people as well. This story is so beautiful, for just that reason. It’s real.

I love the last line, and the theme of closure that you wrote. It can be hard to find closure after this type of theme, but the setting you wrote worked wonderfully. I can really see someone like Luna feeling truly at peace somewhere simplistic and calm, like a river. And where this whole fic was terribly sad, it ended on a note that leaves the reader optimistic. I like to think that we can be able to let go of sad memories, and be able to move on, like Luna did. Again, I really enjoyed the chance to read and review this, Katty. A truly beautiful piece of work. *hugs*

♥ Rachel

Author's Response: SPEW buddy! *squishes Rachel* Thank you so much for this amazing review! Wow, this is the best review I\'ve ever gotten. I\'m glad you liked the idea of keeping her name unknown until the end of the story. I was hoping it wouldn\'t be too confusing there. Thanks for all of your lovely comments! I really appreciate them. *SQUEE* *Hugs* ~ Katty

SARAH! *tacklesquish* First off, let me express my regret that I’d never read anything by you before I read your rare-pair the other day, and my thankfulness that I was presented the opportunity to read and review this lovely story. :D

Let me start by saying how much I luuuurve the first paragraph. I can tell from the gorgeous imagery that I’m going to love this story already. The line There are only a few stars in the night sky, but they and the crescent moon are enough to display the outlines of buildings against the deep blue of her surroundings does a fabulous job setting the scene for me; I can literally close my eyes and picture this. And also; hoorah for present tense! Where it can be rather confusing and angst-worthy to write [or at least that’s my experience], I really enjoy reading these stories. There’s something so genuine about them that makes me prefer them to past tense fics. It makes me feel like I could be there, really. Therefore I must conclude that you did an excellent job of setting this up so that the reader can really feel for Lavender.

Possibly my favourite line in this fic was: Perhaps she feels nothing because she has no reason to. Such a simple sentence, yet so profound in many ways. I’ve never thought of feeling as something that you do by earning, and yet, the way you present this sentence makes that such a plausible thought. She isn’t doing anything, therefore she isn’t feeling anything. It makes so much sense that way.

For in her mind, if she does not enter the house, it is not real. That’s another sentence that I absolutely adore. Lavender in this story seems so real. I love how you used this to portray her as a normal character; someone who never would have thought that she would be affected by the war, because nothing was supposed to happen to her. Going back to what I said above; you did a more than excellent job of making the reader feel like they could be in Lavender’s situation. In the books she’s just another character that I don’t really think about, but in this story she’s someone who’s so relatable. That’s really the key to writing a believable and well-fleshed out character. Kudos my love. :D Another thing that I really liked about this was that it was her parents that she lost, rather than someone that she loved romantically. It added a nice twist to your typical losing-someone-in-the-war story. The denial that she’s feeling is also really…real? I felt for her when she said that she didn’t want to go to their funeral; that must be a hard thing to have to go through, but it must also take courage to avoid it altogether.

Somehow she has found comfort in the complexity of the stars. Another brilliant line. :D I think that makes a lot of sense; finding comfort in something that’s fixed, and will always stay the same, past your life. It does make your worries feel a lot smaller, knowing that you’re such a small part of the world. This really is a comforting thought, and I think the way you wrote Lavender’s acceptance of this was lovely.

But in the morning she will return here and walk through that door, and she will accept what has happened. That’s really a huge step for Lavender. From what we saw of her in the beginning of this fic, she was afraid and insecure. I really liked how one small event could trigger this courage within her. Though this story was rather sad and angsty [I’m sure Patrick was proud :D], you ended it on a note of hope, which I always adore in fics. It’s such a lovely thought, really, thinking that even though you’ve undergone such a terrible tragedy, you’ll be able to move on someday. Such a beautiful theme, my Sarah, helped along by even more beautiful writing. I love the way you wrote her encounter with Harry; it was seemingly insignificant, and yet it made her realise, ‘hey, I DID survive, didn’t I?’ Harry’s role was wonderful; important, but not important because it was Harry; he was just another character. If that made any sense. *shifty eyes*.

I really enjoyed reading this story, my love, and look forward to reading more of your work soon! *squishes*

-your destiny twin

Author's Response: Yay! You picked this story! I must say that although this story only has a few reviews, those ones are fantastic. :D I\'m a firm believer in the first paragraph being a good one - you really have to entice the reader in order for them to properly enjoy the whole story - so it\'s lovely to hear that you thought I wrote a good one! And whee for present tense! I love writing it and I love reading it. One of the things that makes this story amongst my personal favourites is that the words just flowed out when I wrote it, and that actually seems to have worked! [And I love it when people pick out sentences that they especially liked so hee!] I\'m pleased that you thought the loss of parents was appropriate, because I just felt it seemed better under all the circumstances to do that. I actually think it\'s not really appreciated enough in writing that losing your parents at such an age often is much harder than losing a lover. So yes - I\'m not sure it was necessarily a conscious decision, but it\'s nice to know it was a good one. Yes, having Harry walking down that street seemed the best way to go, as he\'s the sort of person who would be rushing to somewhere with only a little time to stop [ and I tried to keep the encounter as short as possible, since it didn\'t really need to be lengthy] and I agree that when it comes down to it, it matters very little who the person actually was. [ *giggles* Yes, you made sense!] Thank you ever so much for this fabulous review, and please do go read some more! It\'s wonderful that you liked this. :D

This was a very impressive fic! The thing that I loved the most was the imagery. It’s been a while since I read a fic which such imposing detail as this. This first paragraph really caught my attention. Around him, fog billowed like heaven’s robes, dirtying its hems as it brushed against the grounds of Hogwarts. This line is so unbelievably gorgeous. The personification really gives me a better idea of the landscape here, and throughout this entire fic you write in such a captivating way; so rich with detail that it almost seems like something out of a fairytale.

Her blonde hair was oddly plastered to her face like melted plastic, blue eyes open swallowing the rain. Wow. This image of Luna is absolutely stunning. The part about her eyes seems very IC for her; even though it’s just describing her appearance. Luna seems like a character that’s full of wonder and thoughtfulness, and the line about swallowing the rain really compliments this part of her character.

In this entire fic, you managed to capture Luna brilliantly, in my opinion. It’s obvious that she’s grown up, but then there are those lines, like the one about the mud, that show her as the playful youth that we read her as. One thing that I thought was interesting was this line. Part of her hated that he had made her see things as they really were, while another part knew that was the only reason she loved him. I thought that this was a great way to characterize Luna. We can see that she’s grown up from the carefree person she used to be, helped along by Draco, but this line indicates that this wasn’t an easy change for her to undergo. This line provides a lot of explanation for Draco and Luna’s relationship, which I thought was excellent. You didn’t say how they got together, but you told about how they were together.

Another part that I thought was great about Luna was the paragraph explaining her loving the mud. I thought that this fit very well with the description that you provided above; Luna holding on to certain aspects of her childhood.

I also loved the way that you wrote Draco. Where Luna didn’t want to grow up, that’s all that Draco cared about. A typical example of “opposites attract.” Possibly my favourite line in this fic was “Then you know my answer.” And he left, his footsteps in the mud fading as a new veil of rain shined the ground. I thought this was very IC for Draco. He seemed to have his mind set on leaving, and I don’t think he would have been deterred by Luna’s wishes, as he said himself that he didn’t love her anymore. Not to mention that this created gorgeous imagery.

One thing that I think was a bit OOC for Draco was the kiss. It seems like he’s trying to move on throughout this entire fic, and then in that instance acts like he’s in love with Luna again. Personally, I think that what he feels for Luna is more gratitude for changing him - as you said with lines like “I’m redeemed because of you” - more than the lust that the kiss portrayed. Then again, you’re the one who really knows what they’re thinking; this is just my attempt at interpreting it. ;)

I adored the note that you ended this on; leaving Draco and Luna’s fates up to the reader. I think that this would work well with a sequel. I’m not saying that you should write one (as I hate when people say that to me), but I think that there’s a lot of doors you left open, yet not enough so that this doesn’t work as a piece standing on its own, which it does. :) Overall, this was a very impressive fic to read! You have a truly lovely writing style, and I can’t wait to read more of your work!