AWWWWW! I loved the note. I, like Hermione, was sure it was referring to the book. I also loved how Harry caught them at the end. I was sure he'd gone up to bed while Hermione wasn't looking before. The bit about the first genuine smile since June is the perfect ending. I found one small mistake: its things like this that make me love Ron You want "it's" in there.

Very well written. I like how you had several students stand up and tell stories to inspire the others. For a moment there in the beginning, I was almost afraid it was going to be a one-woman show with Hermione. I like how you brought some of the more "minor" characters (Luna and Dean) into a position where they could be an inspiration.

From a characteristation point of view, while Hermione's certainly clever, she hasn't shown herself to be a brilliant orator as she is in the story. I think Ron comes across as being a bit to brilliant in that area as well. However, I recognise that this may have been done intentionally.

Minor nits: You have a sentence that begins with "300". It's generally better from to write out numbers at the beginning of a sentence. Ron's speech covers several paragraphs, and you close your quote on the end of his paragraphs, even though he's still speaking in the next one. There shouldn't be a close quote on the end of these paragraphs until you get to his last line "Don't they deserve a chance?" In this sentence: "My dad told me that the Nazi's found out" you want Nazis. There's no possession here. You also have a typo here: "So i asked my dad". Very minor stuff, and easily fixed.

Overall excellent job, though.

I don't think I've ever read a better account of Remus' feelings about his transformation. It so perfectly in character and portrayed so touchingly, that I don't think JKR herself could have done a better job on it. I especially loved the comparison of what Sirius and James complain about in their lives and how it's nothing to what Remus faces on a monthly basis. I think his resentment was right on. I also loved your portrayal at his despair that this is indeed forever. I can't imagine how he goes on in the face of that, although I think his friends have a lot to do with that, and I'm hoping we'll see that in upcoming chapters. Wonderful, wonderful job, and I'm going to rec this fic to all my Remus-loving friends.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm honored by your praise and recommendations. :) This was definitely the most emotional chapter for me to write so I'm glad it came through.

As usual, beautiful set-up and description. I love the attention to detail. I can see the scene unfolding in my mind.

Congratulations, you're dead! Very snappy as a line, but if a vampire bites you, don't you turn into a vampire as well? Shouldn't she say,"Congratulations, you're undead"?

Madame Pomfrey Madam Pomfrey.

Dumbledore could never hire somebody so cruel. Well, she is coming across as a bit tough, if not cruel. IMO she could give an adult Professor Snape a run for his money. She hasn't given much in the way of a melodramatic speech the way Snape did in the first book, but the way she's using the rapid-fire questions here reminds me of that scene. And LOL, I simply hadn't read far enough yet. The speech seems to be coming now. I wonder how Sirius is going to react to her personality?

You were all quite comfortable at the beginning of class. Nothing has changed except your fear of a name. What an excellent way to make her point! I'm assuming the goal is to take away their fear of pronouncing Voldemort's name.

But are you a rat? No, but Peter is...

Now James would tell him off and probably never speak to him again. He wondered if he could still be Sirius’s friend even if James was angry at him. Probably not, he thought. Maybe Peter’s? He's still so vulnerable when it comes to their friendship. I can understand why, but it's heart-wrenching. You've portrayed it so well. I think the juxtaposition with his sensitivity over the werewolf issue really drives the point home. I also like how Remus' fear here is all in his own head. James wasn't asking about Lily for the reason Remus thought he was. And then bang, James shows Remus his own vulnerable side. Poor Remus can't catch a break, can he?

But Remus couldn’t make himself see the cool, arrogant Quidditch star who was so easy to resent. He saw an eleven-year-old boy grinning at him, the first friendly gesture extended to him at Hogwarts. He saw an expression of acceptance rather than fear when his secret was discovered. He saw a weary face poring over Transfiguration books for hours, tirelessly researching the Animagus spells. And there it is, the entire crux of their frienship. This story is such a joy to read. I hope the next part will be out soon!

Great opening with Remus and the other Marauders. You really capture their friendship well -- it's so easy and natural. One thing you could possibly have added was a mention of Remus getting rid of his wolf-feaures. The way things read it's almost as if he walked out of the hospital wing with them, and, as funny as he found the joke when it was just between him and his friends, I don't quite think he'd want to do that.

I also have to wonder if they'd discuss their becoming Animagi and Remus' condition so openly at dinner, where someone can easily overhear them. I love all the speculation about sneaking into the girls' dormitories, though. That sounds just right for 15-year-old boys.

The pink lady? Are you implying she's gained weight over the intervening years? Too funny!

Poor Remus, this whole prefect thing has really put him in a bad spot, hasn't it? I know it was sort of hinted at in canon that he didn't do anything to stop the others from pulling their pranks, but your portrayal has made it so much more real and poignant.

Yet another excellent chapter.

Lovely! You give the reader just enough information to work out what's happened to Ginny without going overboard. It's almost more disturbing that way because it leaves things up to the reader's imagination. I loved how you had the repeated line all through the chapter -- it was like a litany. I found one minor nit to pick here: anything to let her now she was not alone. You want "know", not "now". I definitely would like to find out more. Will Ginny be rescued? How did she get herself into this predicament in the first place? And what does Tom want with her? Great job!

Author's Response: Thanks for reveiwing. I am glad you liked the chapter. I deliberately leave out details because I want to leave a lot of the story up to the reader itself. the repetition throughout the chapter was added because in my experience when people face an ordeal they hold on to something, a mantra that keeps them going. Thank you for the nitpick, Ill be sure to change it. As for your other questions, they will be answered later on in the fic since the last one you asked is central to the whole story. Thanks again!

“Oh, well, I forgot it again.” She said to him rather meekly. You've got a punctuation error in there -- comma after "again" and no capital on "she" -- but the rest of this section is error-free. You've got a similar error where Malfoy comes in -- you want a comma after "summer" -- and when they first see Hagrid calling the first-years, "he" shoudn't be capitalised. There are a few more spots where you have mistakes like this, but I'll leave them for you to find.

"You guys" sounds very American. In the UK they say "you lot". Later where Neville comes in and says, "Hi, guys!" you could have him say, "Hi, everyone!" and he'd sound more authentic. Also at the beginning where Ginny's talking to Molly and says, "Way to call me back for such a minor thing!" she sounds very American, too. "Did you have to call me back for such a minor thing" is less slangy and makes her sound less American.

but her feelings for Harry always ended up getting in the way of her relationships, in which all were ended by Ginny. If you removed "in" before "which" this phrase would flow a lot better. You've got a couple of other instances where the phrasing is awkward at the beginning too -- a matter of changing a word or two, really. If you read your chapter out loud, you can often catch awkwardness like this, because your ear will hear what your eye passes over.

This summer, especially. This is a sentence fragment, and you could easily combine it with the sentence that comes just before it.

I think we're going to see Neville come into his own in the books pretty soon! It looks like you're anticipating that. I hope you make it more about just his looks though. I think him getting a new wand -- on that's really suited to him -- is going to do a lot for his confidence, which in turn will boost his attractiveness. That's an aspect you could play on in your story if it fits.

*sigh* Malfoy is such a git, isn't he? You'd think after seven years he'd learn not to come and bother Harry and crew on the train.

"Lightening" is misused here. Don't worry, that's a really common mistake. When there's a thunderstorm, the word is "lightning". "Lightening" means something is getting lighter.

Nice to see someone unexpected as Head Boy, and I agree with Ron -- good thing it's not Malfoy. It's nice to see a reference to Ginny's Sorting, too, because we didn't witness that in canon.

I find Ron's comment that there's a good number of first-years this year a bit off. If you consider that there are 8 Gryffindors in Harry's year, and 4 Houses, there ought to be 30-40 students in a given year. Fifteen to 20 seems like a low number. Now that's not necessarily a bad thing -- to me it's perfectly logical that there might be fewer students in Harry's final year, since there's a war, and some parents might opt not to send their kids to school if they think it's dangerous. I just think it's strange that Ron would think this is a lot of students.

I'm also iffy on the comments that Ron and Ginny make about the younger students. They're not Fred and George. We've also never seen any indication in the books that anyone picks on the first-years. So Ron and Ginny's comments don't seem to me to be in keeping with the tone of the books.

The feats concluded around 9:30 You mean "feast" here. Also later in this sentence you should put the comma after the parenthetical insert about how much Ron ate, and not right after "desserts". that we head off to bead. You want "bed" there.

Yay! Lupin is back. I love him!

Ginny fantasized about she and Harry. This should read "Harry and her". You wouldn't say "about she", you'd say "about her", so even with "Harry" in there, you have to keep "her".

Ginny's thoughts as she's going to sleep are nice. Very realistic for a girl her age.

Hi. My reviews tend to be line-edits, so some of this is going to follow the order in which things appear in the chapter. Hopefully it won't come across as too disorganised or confusing.

"Harry smiled again at the memory." --> Is that the sort of memory he'd be happy about and smile over though? I'd expect him to grimace or if he did smile, it would be bitter and ironic.

"Dumbledore was using the chocolate frog cards to spy on people." --> That is an extremely cool idea, and one I haven't ever seen before! Very original! Oh, and I've just read your author's note... I hope it was you who came up with the idea anyway.

"But up until know," --> You have a misspelling in there. You want "now", not "know".

"it would be ok for you to write Harry", "I’ll write him right now" --> You want "write TO Harry" and "write TO him now". Leaving out the "to" is an Americanism.

I'm a little iffy on the idea of Ron keeping a diary. I can see him chronicling their adventures, but I'm not sure he'd call it a diary, even if it was, in effect, one. I don't know, "diary" seems a bit too much of a girly concept. Maybe he'd think of it as a journal or a chronicle or something like that. I'm also not convinced about him worrying that Hermione would break into his diary. He might not want her to read it, especially if he confesses his feelings in it, but IMO he knows Hermione well enough to know that she's not the sort that would snoop. If he told her not to look, I think she'd respect that, and he knows it. The twins on the other hand... Now they'd be a threat if they knew about it, plus they'd be more than able to break in!

"Opening it, only to see empty pages where Ron had written long entries" --> This isn't a complete sentence. "He opened it only to see..." would be a complete sentence. You have another fragment here: "Leaving him standing in the common room speechless." This one could be combined with the sentence preceding it. Here's another one that can be avoided by combining it either with the sentence before or after it: "Pecking at her hand till Hermione would pull the picture out of her pocket and show the silly bird."

"Regina Ravenclaw" --> It's Rowena Ravenclaw.

I'm a bit confused about how you see Hermione. On one hand, when Ron is thinking about her, the narration states that she isn't as powerful as Ron or Harry, but then Dumbledore says there hasn't been a witch like her since Rowena Ravenclaw or Helga Hufflepuff. Is that intended as a way to show differing points of view (i.e. Ron underestimates her power)?

However, I am very intrigued about what Dumbledore wants with Ron.

"she had known Neville was not the one for her, so she had told him no"--> In GOF it says she told Neville no because Viktor had already asked her to the Yule Ball. Also a girl like Hermione is sensible enough to know you don't pick a date for something like the Yule Ball based on whether you think the boy who asks you is "the one" or not. From GOF we know that she'd talked to Krum in the library and she liked him as a friend at least. I don't think she was thinking of the long term at that point at all. I think she was taking the concept of the Tournament (meeting students from other countries) to heart.

"Save Dumbledore and Ginny Weasley could say."--> You don't need "could say" on the end of this.

Again the voice was quite. --> You mean "quiet" here. "Quite" and "quiet" are often mixed up.

I *really* don't think Ron's going to sign his letter to Hermione "with love". He's going spare about not even writing it in his diary, because he's worried she'll find out. Why would he sign his letter like that? Also Hermione signs all her letters that we've seen in canon "love from". I don't see why she'd deviate from this, given her confused feelings. She seems to be in denial about Ron and trying very hard to convince herself she ought to like Harry instead.

"Because there are two boys there I really like." --> Hermione doesn't strike me as the sort of girl who would let something like this rule her life. The other reasons she gives her mum are fine, something I can see Hermione feeling, and IMO enough to explain why she wants to go.

"Ginny is there, she is the best friend I have in the whole world." --> Harry and Ron are her best friends according to canon. Ginny's probably her closest female friend. IMO she'd be more likely to say that Ginny, Harry and Ron are all going to be there and that they're all three her closest friends. She wouldn't bring up the "torn between two boys" aspect of it.

Harry wanting to write to his relatives, feeling disappointed when they don't react and then hugging his aunt just seems off to me. I can't see this happening at all. Harry's been given no reason whatsoever to have any kind of good feelings towards the Dursleys.

I think it's interesting the way you've portrayed Dumbledore as being tempted to do something illegal (i.e. use an Unforgivable). I also like his musings about using children to fight a war. I think he's too often portrayed as knowing just what to do and never doubting himself. I've done this, but then that's the view we get of him in canon, since we're seeing him through Harry's eyes. Harry never witnesses Dumbledore's moments of self-doubt -- or he hasn't until the end of OOP anyway. Now that Harry's older, he's learning that the adults in his life aren't infallible.

The idea of developing the voices in ones head into different, powerful selves is an intriguing one, and I don't think I've ever seen it before. I'm assuming this is what Dumbledore is planning on teaching Ron and the others when they get back to school. It's something you want to be careful with though -- special powers can be a two-edged sword. If Dumbledore has the ability and it makes him all the more powerful, why can't he just go out and defeat Voldemort himself? I know you're going to say he's bound by the prophecy (the one from OOP -- I'm assuming the prophecy at the end of chapter one is yet another one), but if Dumbledore had this ability all along, what was to stop him from going out and challenging Voldemort before he even learned of the prophecy? What was to stop him from trying to circumvent the prophecy? You're going to have to be careful about giving Voldemort an equivalent power. It doesn't have to be the same one, but it should be something that enables him to counter Dumbledore's ability to some extent. Otherwise you're going to have a plot hole.

The style of that reminded me of Douglas Adams. Very understated but quite funny. I especially loved Celeres' choice of a new hobby to take up. I also liked his disdain of the paintings, although I can see why a painting would be more frightened of a knife than something made out of stone would. But then that's what made the "no backbone" comment so apt. LOL, who is the Fat Lady visiting in Dumbledore's office. Torrid affair with Phineas Nigellus?

I found a couple of minor editing nits for you: hadn’t even sent a polite refusal, You want a full stop at the end of this. and other nonsense’s I think you want "nonsense" here. I don't think you can make it plural -- it's a collective noun. If you were going to make it plural, you wouldn't use an apostrophe, either.

What more could a niece ask? What more indeed. A choice, perhaps? When Ninette was six I'm sure she was malleable enough, but she's getting to an age where revolt is pretty much a given. I wonder what's going to happen when she comes across something she wants to do that conflicts with her aunt's wishes. Like attending Hogwarts, although it looks like you've got round that obstacle for the moment. Still I can imagine something else coming up in the future.

This was an excellent beginning. I felt as if the characters were real. I have a feeling you've studied ballet yourself, because all the terminology was correct. I couldn't find a single grammar or spelling mistake. Finally, I loved the whole metaphor you had going on with the mirror in the opening paragraphs. The tie-in with the title intrigues me. I want to see what happens when the mirror shatters.